So I decided to start dating again. I have a tendency to lock in on one girl, so I promised myself I'd date a few and pick the best match for me, instead of the first girl I came across.
How about I tell a story about what happened tonight?
My neighbor tells me a few weeks ago that I should meet his cousin. We meet, decide to go on a date this week and we hit it off. I aggressively kissed her and she had this "blown away" look on her face. She came to my soccer game the next night, we hung out, I took her home (she lives with her brother) and necked a bit in his driveway.
I think this girl is pretty cool, definitely worth getting to know a bit better. Possible g/f material.
I'm also a member on eharmony. I find this girl I really connected with online and we decided (last week) to meet up tonight. (this is my first experience meeting up with anyone from the site.) She won't say much about her (or even give her number) until we meet. We decide to just have dinner together this afternoon. We meet up, we both find out that we're normal fun people and we have a lot of instant "clicks" with our personalities and backgrounds. After dinner, as I'm trying to figure out if I can extend the date a bit, she says she really likes me and wants to know if I want to come to a house party with her on the other side of town. She also hinted she wanted a goodnight kiss.
Yes, yes YES.
So we go and start hanging out. I bump into a guy I knew through a high school friend that I haven't seen in years. So we start hanging out, I get separated from my date and I even start mingling with these new strangers.
I bump into this really nice guy and we strike up a conversation. He tells me where he works. (A pretty specific job that you don't hear often.) A hair stands up on the back of my neck, but I'm not sure why. He asks, I tell him where I work.
"You know," he says, "someone was just telling me they met a guy who works at <my company> in the <my department>."
"REALLY? Who, it's not a very big department."
"I don't remember. It's just odd you mentioned that."
We start talking some more, he tells me about his softball team and the funny name they gave it.
Then the lightbulb goes on: Holy crap, this is Girl #1's older brother. The brother she lives with. The older brother she told me about. And he's good friends with the girl I'm out on my first date with, and he doesn't have a clue who I am yet. I thought about telling him, but thought better of it when I had a vision of him starting a fight or causing a scene. No need for that, please.
I find an excuse to end the conversation before I have to give him any other clues I just went out with his sister earlier in the week.
I go to my old friend and tell him what's going on. He pontificates on the hilarity of the situation. He says that the brother won't think it to be a big deal. But he also mentions that he thought Girl #1 was coming to the party tonight. OH SHeeT.
Well, that brother would be bound to tell his sister about running into me and she'd find out accidentally about where I was and who I was with. If I continue seeing one or the other, we're bound to meet up again at a future part. There is no way to hide this or let either girl down easy.
I decide to go tell my date. I told both girls I'm a 100% honest guy, so I go to face the music. We have a serious talk in the hallway, she tells me she typically doesn't date more than one person at a time, but she appreciated my honesty. I explain how I really did like her, and I wasn't playing anyone. I was just trying to find out what was out there. I ask her if she wanted me to go, and she said no. She says that if I stay, I have to think about something else though, (probably because I was broadcasting all over the place how uncomfortable I was.)
My buddy comes over and tells me how funny it was because him and his friends were trying to set his brother (also at the party) up with Girl #1. Wow. I go back to my date.
I get lucky in that girl #1 doesn't show up. Me and my date avoid the elephant in the room and leave at the same time about a half hour later. I tell her I'm just going to hug her goodnight and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She still kept standing there facing me, so ok, game on. I went in and gave her a pretty good kiss goodnight. She told me to not wait the 4 days to call her, and then said, "that's a hint." Then she texts me on the way home.
Then I decide to call up Girl #1 on the way home to talk to her before her brother does. Judging by her voice, she was totally blown away. Then she tells me to take a few days and let her know what I think.
Then I see I have voicemail. I check it, and it's my neighbor wanting to know if I wanted to hang out tonight. Not right now but thanks!
So my thoughts were that I would date a few girls a few times and would stop looking once I found a girl worth getting serious over. I never had any intentions of stringing anyone along or playing them. I also had no clue I was going to be matched with 2 girls from the same friend pool by 2 different sources!
It's my first time being single in 6 years, and I screw up dating around on the first try. I had told both of them upfront I wanted to keep things non-exclusive until I settled into a good relationship. But what do you do when you find two girls from the same friend pool and they find out you're seeing them both? I'd like to play this off like I'm not doing anything wrong, but the game changes when it involves 2 friends. Thank GOD I've only been on 2 dates with girl #1. This could have been worse had I started seeing each girl a few more times before bumping into the other one at a friend function.
There just isn't a book written for an issue like this. I don't feel like I did anything wrong in the rules of dating, but I'm unfairly cornered in the realm of "pick one or you'll lose them both." It's just too soon - I don't know either that well to pick just yet.
