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"okay... see that guy over there? the hot junior who parks his vw rabbit three cars down? your friend matt's best friend? might as well start f***ing him now, since you're going to wind up married to him with three of his kids. as a bonus, it'll save you a crazy hs boyfriend and a sh**ty marriage, and it'll save him a crazy hs girlfriend and an ueber-crazy fiancee."
oh, and:
"no... do NOT get that perm."
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