Maybe to get the forum going again we should start

[brainsmile]

Another one of the storyline threads.

GAM shut it down if you don't to to happen but for now I'll start it. (MINIMUM 1 paragraph to add on)

What a long day it has been. Nevermind a long day, it's been a long year already! First my beloved Tampa Bay Buccaneers just barely missed the playoffs and then I find the stock market taking to depths unseen in 5 years. What am I to do? All my stock in CompUSA is virutally worthless now. I was wondering what to do for this weekend and pondering the meaning of life over a venti caramel macchiato when all of sudden I see someone I haven't seen in a long time pass in front of me. Who was that person you ask?

Well it was a G|A member that is known by many as DarkFury, but in reality his name is more commonly known as Cameron Durkenweiler, the local accountant a the dollar store. He seemed to be in a hurry but I yelled out to him, "hey DarkFury!" Cameron stopped for a moment to gauge where the yell came from and then his piercing black eyes found his way to my table. Always a character, he turned on his boombox with his Vanilla Ice theme music and headed towards me. He plopped down and said...

[oblongmelon]

"I'm late for my waxing...is this important? Because if it's not then I have to...."

[brainsmile]

spend some time trying to figure out what in the world a HEMI is. I know I talk about it all the time but honestly I have no clue what it does for my car. Just then I received a text message on my blackberry alerting me that I was late for an appointment I had with Mojo. Boy is that guy a slut or what? Good thing he recently repented and joined the monestary. Since then though he took a vow of silence and his vow timeframe was just about up. I had a list of questions I wanted to ask him and certainly didn't want to be late.

So I said bye to DF and scurried on my way on new Toyota Prius with the supercharged 120 HP engine. I was making good time when...

[BigJon]

...suddenly a car pulled out right in front of me. The driver was a portly young man with a Star Wars shirt on who got out of his car and began to flag me over, waving his hands. I had slammed my brakes hard, barely missing him. I rolled down my window to find out what this whack job wanted.

"Hey! Aren't you on the G|A boards? Yeah! I thought that was you!" he yelled out as he darted over to my open window.

"Look dude...I don't know who the hell you are...what the hell do you think you're doing stopping in the middle of the road like this, you moron!" I yelled back...locking my doors.

He stopped dead in his tracks and looked down at the ground, mumbled something about "being ignored all the time" and headed back to his car. I threw my Prius back into gear and and took off. Just as I got on the highway I noticed Nanotech speeding by on his motorcycle...

[brainsmile]

and of course he had a girl on the back. I tried to say hi but I couldn't keep up with that kind of speed. So I continued on my travels thinking of questions for Mojo. His audience would want the juicy details of how he changed so drastically. Very seldom does one drop everything including the brand new Wii that he received for one of those referral sites to go and find himself.

If I'm going to find myself I'd head straight to Oblongmelon's house for some of her good home cooking. Ah... that's what would hit the spot. A nice hot bowl of...

[oblongmelon]

15 bean and ham soup. But the funny thing is..since I don't let strangers into my house, I had to give the soup to Brainsmile in a 'to-go' package. Then I....

[kimchicowboy]

...realized that UCLA was actually being televised nationally and completely forgot about making the 15 bean soup for Brainsmile. after UCLA's win over Florida and several beers later, I pulled out some random ingredients due to my inebriated state and made...

[brainsmile]

the big mistake of putting on a red USC shirt and fumbling around Westwood. Boy did I pay for that with beer being poured all over me. On the positive side I met a hot gal who is a songleader for SC. Maybe it's not so bad. I went home and took a nap. When I woke up...

[LPMiller]

...Wheel of Fortunes Pat Sajak was standing over my bed, holding a carving knife and panting heavily. He looked into my eyes and said...

[oblongmelon]

I have those photos of you dressed in the blue sparkly number and I'm going to send them by Fex Ex to the Press if you and Howard K. Stern don't....

[brainsmile]

do the macarena and put it on youtube. I shuddered to think that I would have to pull out my old dancing outfit but if I didn't I stood the risk of Britney Spears upstaging me once again when the pictures of her with (add G|A member here)...

[GraingerGuy]

Cheesypuff! They were covered with orange from the awesome processed cheese sticking on their fingers. Then GAM had to ban Cheesy because Britney was showing...

[Airencracken]

her naughty bits in an attempt to get some publicity to salvage her wrecked career. Fortunately for Cheesy, no one noticed since her butch haircut made her even less attractive than she'd been before.

I knew that Pat Sajak would make good on his promise to humiliate me with those old tawdry photos. So there was really only one course of action that I could consider. Pat Sajak had to meet his maker.

I packed my machete and some black sweats in the trunk of my Prius and started my trek to Brentwood where the venerated game show host lived. After I purchased a semi-legit star map off a what appeared to be a vagrant (how naive was I at this point in my life!) I waited for night to fall.

About a quarter to three am, I silently drove my Prius (it's half electric after all) up to Sajak's abode. I parked a bit down the street as to avoid detection. As I unpacked my supplies and dressed myself in black, my thoughts turned to a girl I had known years before, she was Danish, and had a body like an angel. Donning my ski mask I exited the car and made my way to the outer wall of the Sajak Mansion.

Fortunately for me the outer wall was easily scalable and I had no problem climbing it stealthily. When I got into the courtyard I was relieve to find that Sajak was not an animal lover and my path was free of meddlesome mutts. I slinked my way around the house and to the back door. How fortuitous! The locking mechanism was cheap and easily defeated. I was rather surprised at the man's lack of security, after all he was a star. Shrugging that revelation off I entered the home and unsheathed my machete. The house was cold and dark. I climbed the stairs and made my way to the master bedroom. A small amount of red light emanated from the small gap between the wall and the slightly ajar door. Being careful to not make much noise I opened the door further and gazed upon the bed.

Sajak was there. Sleeping like a baby.

I raised my machete and took one last look at the face that had haunted my dreams for the past week. Then with driving force I brought my blade down on the bastards neck. Again. AGAIN!!! Blood spattered everywhere. I could smell the coppery tang of it through my mask.

The task was finished. I began to make my way to the door when I saw a red light blinking at me and I knew then that I had made my mistake...

[BigJon]

...I didn't just kill Pat Sajak...

"You're on 'How Would You Murder a TV Star'!" screamed the spunky host in a sparkly jacket that jumped out of the closet.

The red blinking light was coming from the bank of cameras that were hidden cleverly out of sight until now. "This is the FIRST episode of our new hit reality TV show and you've just been pranked! We set you up by sending a TV star to your house to humiliate you and then intice you to come kill them! We even set up a fake bum to give you the map to his house!" the host screamed.

I was stunned...how could they? The REAL Pat Sajak strolled out from the hallway smiling in his big goofy grin. "Well if that wasn't Sajak, then who DID I kill?" I asked.

"Why...it was...

[oblongmelon]

LP Miller. Everyone knew that a switch had taken place except for Greta..and oh what a terrible surprise she would have when Pat Sajak...

[brainsmile]

jumped out from behind the curtain running at me with an axe. Boy did I high tail it out of there. Fortunately my gremlin was on a full tank and ready to go. Releived to be out of that situation, I started back on the path towards passwird's home. I haven't seen that bean pole in months I thought.