let the jokes begin

[RIVERWIDOW]

This is too funny......


Four football fans - a Colts fan, a Seahawks fan, a Chargers fan, and
> a Patriots fan - are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
>
> The Indianapolis fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Colts!' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
>
> Not to be outdone, the Seattle fan shouts, 'This is for the Seahawks!' and throws himself off the mountain.
>
> The San Diego fan is next to profess his love for his team.
>
> He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Patriot fan off the mountain.
>
>
>
> Go Chargers !

[Prngr44]

Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Tom Brady, go to heaven to visit God and watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question...

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?"

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans."

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Brett Favre and says, "What do you believe?" Brett says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."

God is greatly moved by Favre's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"

Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

[cheapie]

And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:
"Bummed about that loss? Wish you had another shot to knock off the undefeated Patriots? Understandable. But don't sweat it. You're still the reigning Super Bowl champ. Yeah, you know it. You're the man. But only for 20 more days. Then you're crap again. So live it up."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:


"Throw another tipped pass that was intercepted in the red zone? Too bad. Here's what you need to do: Work on your accuracy. Maybe watch a game tape of Tom Brady for some tips. That guy went 26-for-28. He's awesome."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:


"So I hear you're upset about losing at home in the divisional playoffs. Worried people are going to call you a choker again? Don't be. You played well. You just had a few bad breaks. And you were up against a buzz saw. That Billy Volek has never lost in the playoffs. He's a dynamo."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:


"Worried that your coach might be retiring? Understandable. You've had success together. But don't sweat it. You call all of your plays at the line of scrimmage anyway. You could be coached by a gerbil."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:


"Jealous of your brother? Wish you were him right now? Don't be. Remember growing up how your mom used to change his diapers? Let me let you in on a little secret: He's still wearing them. Yeah. You know it."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:


"Disappointed that your season ended so soon? Understandable. One-and-done is a bummer. But remember that you have a Super Bowl ring. Your legacy is secure. So use your extra free time to film some more commercials. I think there's a mortuary in Bloomington you don't yet endorse."

[RIVERWIDOW]

Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Tom Brady, go to heaven to visit God and watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question...

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?"

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans."

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Brett Favre and says, "What do you believe?" Brett says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields."

God is greatly moved by Favre's sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"

Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."


:laugh: :bow: Okay, I give....that was pretty d*mn funny.

[RIVERWIDOW]

Love ,love, love the way Cheapie thinks !:love2:

[cheapie]

and i'm a colts fan. :disa:

[cheapie]

Love ,love, love the way Cheapie thinks !:love2:



we'll see how chipper you are after the bolts lose by 40 to NE. :hihi:

[cadetevon]

we'll see how chipper you are after the bolts lose by 40 to NE. :hihi:

Hey now. Why's it got to be by 40? :disa:

As a Chargers fan I'm obviously pulling for my boys, but I honestly thing that if anyone can bring down NE, it's us.

[cheapie]

i dearly hope the chargers win. but i don't think it's going to happen.

[ShawnLee]

Three quarterbacks, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, and Tom Brady, go to heaven...

Two things wrong with this joke.

First problem?
Really? Brady's the most likely to have a God-complex here? I honestly suspect that Manning is far more likely to have that issue. He's a freakin' Manning.

The second problem?
He's a freakin' Manning, how does a Manning end up in heaven?

[cheapie]

grace my brother. grace. :hihi:

[bachviet]

:laugh:

cheapie, good stuff on Manning mang.

[zenbooty]

C'mon Cheapie, you gotta source those Manning jokes, they aren't public domain yet :D .

[cheapie]

:heh: another colts fan sent it to me.

[RIVERWIDOW]

we'll see how chipper you are after the bolts lose by 40 to NE. :hihi:

Oh ye of little faith.....It ain't over til its over. I am fully prepared for them to lose as I am fully expecting them to play that ole black magic. They are just as capable of winning as NE is. After all, didn't they beat the COLTS
when everyone said they had no chance....including that fool who writes for the Indianapolis star,Bob Kravitz. Trash talking whiner who had nothing but excuses for the Colts. 3 games in a row the ponies have lost to the Bolts and yet they still get no respect...We will see....GO CHARGERS !!!

[DarkFury]

Riverwidow, you seem to forget... as a sports town, Indy has gotten used to having teams that CHOKED when they got to the big dance.

It was just refreshing to see the Colts actually win one last year... but alas, every dog has his day and good dogs get two. This year just wasn't "their day" and they didn't fail to dissapoint as normally expected.

Typical Indy Sports themed T-Shirt:

On the Front: GO COLTS!!!!
On the Back: Yeah... and take the Pacers with you!!!! :2far:

[RIVERWIDOW]

My next t-shirt is going to read, "I have 2 favorite teams...the Chargers and whoever beats the Dolts.... oops I mean Colts"

[cheapie]

you'd better hurry and get the rest of them in before the weekend. i've got a feeling you won't be talking so much trash later.

and there's no big rivalry between the colts and chargers so why would you want that shirt?

[DarkFury]

My next t-shirt is going to read, "I have 2 favorite teams...the Chargers and whoever beats the Dolts.... oops I mean Colts"
You really have a "complex" about them. Don't cha? :D

[zenbooty]

:heh: another colts fan sent it to me.I see. Well, he got it from espn.com. It was an article from one of their "Page 2" writers.

[Markel]

Riverwidow, you seem to forget... as a sports town, Indy has gotten used to having teams that CHOKED when they got to the big dance.
That's just a byproduct of being located too close to Chicago - the effect rubs off. ;)

[DarkFury]

That's just a byproduct of being located too close to Chicago - the effect rubs off. ;)
Ya'll can't complain...

You had Jordan and the Bulls for the better part of the late 80s early 90s.

5 rings??? Ummm yeah... Of course the Bears also got a Championship too. (Now as far as the Cubs go... no comment. :D )

[bachviet]

Ya'll can't complain...

You had Jordan and the Bulls for the better part of the late 80s early 90s.

5 rings??? Ummm yeah... Of course the Bears also got a Championship too. (Now as far as the Cubs go... no comment. :D )
Bulls got 6 rings.
Bears got one in the 80's.
White Sox got one couple years ago.

[DarkFury]

Bulls got 6 rings.
Bears got one in the 80's.
White Sox got one couple years ago.
OK.. I knew it was something like that.

It was off the top of my head... thanks for the clarification.

[RIVERWIDOW]

you'd better hurry and get the rest of them in before the weekend. i've got a feeling you won't be talking so much trash later.
and there's no big rivalry between the colts and chargers so why would you want that shirt?

A couple of years ago it would have been the Raiders but they have been soooooo pathetic that even I can't kick them when they are down. The Colts to me are a bunch of whiners....big excuses every time something doesn't go their way. It isn't about rivalry its about attitude. And don't start on Rivers again, I know he has one ... young and stupid but mine !

[cheapie]

whiners? who's whining? df and i are probably the biggest two colts fans on this board. are we whining? are colts players whining? dungy? irsay?

[DarkFury]

Honestly, I've already accepted Indy's "armpit of sports" role. I'm not whining. :D

I still root for them... but seriously, if I watch the game, the probability that they'll lose probably goes up about 65 to 75%. I should get the Colts fans to pay me NOT to watch the game (BTW... I did watch part of their loss to the Chargers... guess that jinxed them. :heh: )

[Markel]

(Now as far as the Cubs go... no comment. :D )
I rest my case. ;)

[DarkFury]

I rest my case. ;)
You still have other teams to brag about...

Honestly, until the Superbowl last year... Indy had NOTHING to really brag about (unless you want to go all the way back to the ABA days of the Pacers...)

[RIVERWIDOW]

whiners? who's whining? df and i are probably the biggest two colts fans on this board. are we whining? are colts players whining? dungy? irsay?

I didn't say the fans nor did I mention you or DF. Its mostly the sportswriters for the Indianapolis Star. Namely Bob Kravitz

[RIVERWIDOW]

Peyton Manning & Tom Brady, after living full lives, died and went to heaven.
God was showing them around. They came to two modest little houses, one with a faded Colts flag in the window and one with a faded Patriots flag in the window.
'These houses are yours for eternity, Peyton and Tom,' said God. 'These are very special; not everyone gets a house up here.'
Peyton and Tom felt very special, indeed, and walked up to their homes.
On their way up the porch, they noticed another house just around the corner.
It was a 3-story mansion with a powder blue and gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Chargers flag, and in every window, a lightning bolt.
Peyton and Tom looked at God and said, 'God, we're not trying to be ungrateful, but we have a question. We were all-pro quarterbacks, and we won many Super Bowls, and we even went to the Hall of Fame.'
God said, 'So what do you want to know?'
'Well, why does LaDainian Tomlinson get a better house than us?'


God chuckled and said, Boys, that's not LT's house.'