Random Question for you parents

[ufcrusher]

Recently it seems that the vast majority of my friends have all decided to make mini versions of themselves through the miracle of cloing. (Ok, so maybe they are doing it the old fashioned way.) Since I know (from what they say) that you arent supposed to tell anyone that you/your wife is pregnant... a random question popped into my head which I figured my fellow Got|Apexers could answer. If you arent supposed to tell anyone until after the first trimester.....how/when do you tell your immediate family?

Before anyone jumps the gun, the reason for my question is that I have a good friend who didnt tell his PARENTS until after the first trimester was over. I thought that was idiotic and it seemed wrong to me, but since I am not a parent I may be talking out my arse. So is my instinct right...or is my friend right (for once).

[Jenny]

I was telling everyone right away. I didn't wait at all. :shrug: I think it's just so if something does happen and you lose the baby, you don't have to go through the whole thing about that with people. After the 1st trimester, it's much safer and much less of a risk, so... I think that's the only reason. So I think it's just a personal preference.

[InfiniteNothing]

Generally, my highest priority is a happy pregnancy and that's much too important to me than to feel offended or worry about etiquette. Whatever works for the pregnant couple, I am completely supportive of. I'm as close or as far as they need me.

[ShawnLee]

:stupid:
As long as they're not telling me after the kid is born - then God bless, and I wish a happy pregnancy. But then, eh, IN and I aren't parents so maybe it means less coming from us.

[brainsmile]

Many people will wait until the second trimester in order to see a hearbeat that reduces the risk of miscarriage to less than 2%. It's up to the parents to decide and far be it for anyone to criticize. Not that you are.

[Kevster]

I only told my brother in Iraq and G|A at first (because I'm pretty sure nobody in my family reads this), and that was when Mrs. Kevster was about 6 weeks. We didn't tell our parents until 2 1/2 months, and didn't tell any other family until after the first trimester. We had to worry about a particular heart anomaly due to some meds that Mrs. Kevster has to take, and after we were in the clear we told any/everyone little Annarchy was coming.

I have known several couples that waited as well due to previous miscarriages and in one couple's case an ectopic pregnancy. That stuff happens and in my honest opinion it's better to wait and not get people's hopes up (especially prospective grandparents).

[ray]

I have known several couples that waited as well due to previous miscarriages and in one couple's case an ectopic pregnancy. That stuff happens and in my honest opinion it's better to wait and not get people's hopes up (especially prospective grandparents).

:stupid:

[Mommypooh]

with our first child we didn't tell anyone until I was almost 4 months along but then again I didn't know for sure until 3 months so we didn't wait all that long once we knew.

With our second child we told my family at 2 months and his at 3 as he didn't want to tell them that we screwed up again and were having anohter kid.

With our third child I told his family when I was barely 5 weeks cause I was already sick and we were around all of them due to a funeral so I told to maybe ease some pain for his mom and she told everyone else. I told my family when I returned from the funeral.

I have friends who didn't tell anyone they were preggo until 5 months other than me because she didn't want to deal with it.

It is really a personal preference especially if you have already had a miscarriage and told people then had to deal with all the questions and stuff. I think that is also kinda why I waited for so long with our daughter cause I had told all my friends I was pregant before only to miscarry at 3 months a long so... it got easier to tell each time with the others cuase I felt confident that I had carried the last one and then the last 2 with no trouble so that is my thought on the matter.

[Paymaster]

Our rule was: tell the people that you would want to have as a support network should something go wrong. Otherwise, wait until after the first trimester.

[Maarchk]

I think Paymaster and Kevster have the best responses.
Tell people who will be there if you need them. So friends and maybe family. But maybe not family who would get too excited like your parents if it will be their first grandkid. They will probably be really sad and might make the situation harder should something go wrong. So with them I would wait till the first trimester.

[oblongmelon]

usually, MOST people do wait until the first trimester is over, for the simple reason that it is easier to miscarry in the first trimester-why get people all excited too soon. Also, it's harder for people to approach you (except family perhaps?) if you've told them you're pregnant and then miscarry-people make stupid comments.