View Full Version : Be Ordained
03-07-2001, 10:08 AM
join the ULC and you can become a minister free of charge...
or you can get a degree for as low as $20.00! Damn I wish someone posted this deal before I started college. Stupid me, I was paying 13-15k a year.
Doctor of Metaphysics - 20.00
Doctor of Divinity - 20.00
Doctor of Motivation - 20.00
Doctor of Philosophy in Religion - 100.00 (thats a PHD people)
NOTE: this deal can backfire! My roomate asked me to preform his wedding for him, but he settled for me just being the best man.
03-07-2001, 11:08 AM
Dr. SnotRocket... hmmm.. I like the sound of THAT!
They will also grant you Absolution from all your sins (including those "committed before conception" - honest, it's on the Absolution certificate)for FREE!
Now there's a deal.
03-07-2001, 08:11 PM
So I get to add Dr. to my name, and it absolves me from my sins, dang, why didn't we find this earlier!
03-07-2001, 08:19 PM
Or you can get any of the below for $12.50
Abbe , Abbess, Abbot, Ananda, Angel, Apostle of Humility, Apostolic Scribe, Arch Deacon, Arch Priest, Archbishop, Arch cardinal, Ascetic Gnostic, Baron, Baroness, Bible Historian, Bishop, Brahman, Brother, Canon, Cantor, Cardinal, Channel, Chaplain, Colonel, Cure', Deacon, Dervish, Directress, Disciple, Druid, Elder, Emissary, Evangelist, Faith Healer, Father, Field Missionary, Flying Missionary, Free Thinker, Friar, Goddess, Guru, Hadji, Healing Minister, High Priest, High Priestess, Imam, Lama, Lay Sister, Magus, Martyr, Messenger, Matriarch, Metropolitan, Minister of Music, Minister of Peace, Missionary, Missionary Doctor , Missionary Healer, Missionary of Music, Missionary Priest, Monk, Monsignor, Most Reverend, Christian Mother Superior, Mystical Philosopher, Orthodox Monk, Parochial Educator, Pastor General, Pastoral Counselor, Patriarch, Peace Counselor, Preacher, Preceptor, Priest, Priestess, Prophet, Psychic Healer, Rabbi, Rector, Religious Preacher, Revelator, Reverend, Reverend Father, Reverend Mother, Right Reverend, Saintly Healer, Scribe, Seer, Shaman, Sister, Soul Therapist, Spiritual Counselor, Spiritual Healer, Spiritual Warrior, Starets, Swami, Teller, Thanatologist, The Very Esteemed, Universal Rabbi, Universal Philosopher of Absolute Reality, Universal Religious Philosopher, Vicar, Wizard
BUT, The ULC does not bestow titles that are belief system specific like Pope, Sex Goddess, or Jedi Knight etc.
DAMN! I was so close to the force!
03-07-2001, 08:53 PM
I have been ordained for about 3 years now.
I sometimes use Rev. as my title on some offers.
I was surprised when I did a test drive (for some free stuff) one day and the salesman asked if my parish needed a minivan!
03-07-2001, 09:05 PM
That's Reverend Inspect-her Gadget to you!
Hey... I'm not gonna like burn in hell for doing this, right? Like if I marry my best friend to his dog... will my soul be forever imprisoned on Earth?
03-07-2001, 09:09 PM
oh god, read this:
03-07-2001, 10:10 PM
The founder looks like a doped up old goof. :heh:
03-07-2001, 10:39 PM
Don't speak of my founder like that, please.
03-07-2001, 10:43 PM
helius as a minister of the ULC for th past year I CONDEM YOU TO HELL FOR THAT COMMENT
03-07-2001, 10:46 PM
Hey, let's not abuse our powers. Being a missionary doctor, I have to always make sure I make sure I use my techniques for good, and not evil.
03-07-2001, 10:59 PM
As a real Reverend and Doctor of Philosophy in Religion (Candidate), this site is funny (I have sent it to my friends years ago), but please do all of us who work hard a favor and NOT send them your hard-earned money! The down side to groups like this is that after other well-intentioned (and gullible) people buy their products and services (promoted with the money sent to them), people like me have to spend alot of time in "deprogramming." I have seen firsthand how scams like this have damaged people lives.
And, hey, how good can it be if they don't even let you be a Jedi Knight???
03-08-2001, 12:44 AM
Ah, ULC isn't a scam though, it is actually an honest attempt at religous freedom...now, it has been abused, which I guess is the price you pay for ordaining any joe blow that wants it, but when I compare this to say, Scientology, I'm more than happy to pay 10 bucks for a cert to hang on my wall, over 1000's of dollars to get my engrams realigned or whatever.
It's really just what they say...believe what you believe, and don't go through life being a jerk.
03-08-2001, 01:00 AM
Can I only have one title, or can I be the Very Esteemed Reverend Father Wizard?
03-08-2001, 01:04 AM
you can pretty much have whatever title you want, if you ask nicely.
03-08-2001, 01:14 AM
I just have to do this, it will make for excellent office conversation. You get a nice certificate or something to hang on a wall, right?
03-08-2001, 09:26 AM
well, you can print one up, if you want a real snazzy one, they ask like 10 bucks.
You will also want that cert if you want to perform marriage, as many states require it before you can regrister with the county clerk.
More people in californa are married by ULC guys than anyone else....supposedly.
03-08-2001, 01:43 PM
If it wasn't for the ulc, I'd just be evil. but thanks to them I am Reverend Evil
03-08-2001, 01:51 PM
Does this mean I can get a tax break like the good Rev Jesse Jackson. How does Apex Coalition sound?
03-08-2001, 01:57 PM
Sounds good to me!
03-08-2001, 08:57 PM
yeah... how's that whole TAX break thing work?
The Leader is Good
The Leader is Great
We surrender our will as of this date
Either this is the most powerful mind we have ever dealt with or...
nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah Leader, Leader, Leader
I love the leader
03-08-2001, 11:17 PM
Did anyone actually become a minister and was it absolutely free?
03-08-2001, 11:21 PM
Would i have to go to war if there was a draft, and I was a religious leader of some sort?
03-08-2001, 11:45 PM
By the way Cruelpupet, you probably shouldn't be saying "d@mn" now that you're a minister...LOL!
03-09-2001, 12:36 AM
well just because im a minister (been one for about a year now) doesnt mean i cant say damn. The title minister doest automaticaly make my congregation a catholic one....and yes it was absolutely free
03-09-2001, 01:04 AM
This is actually a legitimate church, recognized by the United States government!
The ULC went to the Supreme Court in 1974 and the court found that the church could indeed ordain ministers via mail (and now on the web)!
03-09-2001, 02:13 AM
Originally posted by Jnmcda0
Did anyone actually become a minister and was it absolutely free?
Ya, completely free to be ordained. a couple couple bucks if you want a certificate of ordination.
03-09-2001, 01:13 PM
Yep, free, and I've been absolving sins left and right. Good party trick.
Thanks for the post. I have a question about the different Doctorate degrees, such as Doctor of Metaphysics, Doctor of Divinity, and so on. Can you use the PhD suffix with all of them , or must it specifically be a Doctorate of Philosophy? If so, what suffixes would you use in place of Phd? Just to clarify, I know about the "Dr" prefix, I'm wondering about the suffix. Thanks!
Originally posted by FFTF153
Does this mean I can get a tax break like the good Rev Jesse Jackson. How does Apex Coalition sound? You would have to become ordained in race baiting, shaking down corporations and publicity hounding to be like that jackass Jesse "Lovedaddy" Jackson. :nono:
[Edited by sbp on 03-10-2001 at 02:56 AM]
03-10-2001, 09:02 PM
Go to http://www.subgenius.com. They're cheaper, sexier and they're a hell of a lot more FUN, too. Tell 'em Reverand Sputnik sent you.
Dr Overclocked. I like it!
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