Joke - Haircut anyone?

[Chinpoko_Mon]

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours." The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half." The guy leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!!"

[irwin]

I don't get it...
How does the guy know where the Barber lives? Even without that answer, I still don't get it. Damn it I'm stupid.

[theHNIC]

Have you never been over any of your co-workers houses?

Ill leave it at that.

[hapoo]

Good joke :)


Originally posted by gotmilk
Have you never been over any of your co-workers houses?

Ill leave it at that.


he's 16

[theHNIC]

That explains it.

I wish I could be that age again.

[m0j0]

that could work :idea:

[bella]

"Insects"

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

"That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends. For
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it.

"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his
plain toast with no honey or butter.

Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother
stomped it.

The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her,
Dad, or should I?"

[Chinpoko_Mon]

hehehe good one Bella...

Seeing as it's almost tax season...
----------------------------

One day, at a local restaurant, a woman suddenly called out,
"My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please,
anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was
quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you so much!" the mother cried. "Are you a paramedic?"

"No," replied the man, "I work for the IRS."

[bella]

Originally posted by Chinpoko_Mon
hehehe good one Bella...

Seeing as it's almost tax season...
----------------------------

One day, at a local restaurant, a woman suddenly called out,
"My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please,
anyone! Help!"

A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was
quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern, wrapped his hands around the boy's gonads and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went back to his table as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you so much!" the mother cried. "Are you a paramedic?"

"No," replied the man, "I work for the IRS."

[irwin]

DAMN! It's pissing me off how I still can't understand these! I think I get the 3rd one though :)

[K2]

lol.. nice bella :D

[The Happy Squirrel]

Originally posted by Passwird
DAMN! It's pissing me off how I still can't understand these! I think I get the 3rd one though :)


they are not that simple

speaking of taxes
i worked 3 months last year
<between school eyars during the summer>

only made a few thousand dollars and i have to PAY INTO the damn goverment

<damn taxable intrest>

[fakesurfers]

Originally posted by Passwird
DAMN! It's pissing me off how I still can't understand these! I think I get the 3rd one though :)

Im tired of seeing you twist passwird:

1st joke: The guy asking about a haircut is actually seeing whether the barber will be going home soon. The implication is that he is engaging in sexual congress with the Barber's wife.

2nd joke: The Mother wont be receiving any sex for a week (i.e. cock, a slang term for the penis)

[castleguardian]

Now that clarifications been made, here's a joke:

One day, an elderly grandfather and his grandson were outside raking leaves. Moving a pile aside, the grandson spotted an earthworm looking for it's hole. The grandson picks up the earthworm, and tries to stick it back into the small hole. The grandfather, amused, says, "There's no way you can get earthwork back into that hole."
The grandson says, "I'll bet you $20 I can."
The grandfather shakes his head, but agrees. The grandson then runs into the house and returns with a can of hairspray. He straightens out the worm, and sprays it until it can't move. Then he slides the worm neatly into the hole. The grandfather, amazed, hands the grandson $20, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house.
30 minutes later, the grandfather comes back and hands the grandson another $20. The grandson says, "But grandpa, you already paid me $20."
The grandfather says, "I know...that's from your grandmother!"

[theHNIC]

Originally posted by castleguardian
The grandfather says, "I know...that's from your grandmother!"

TOO FUNNY

[bella]

Originally posted by castleguardian
Now that clarifications been made, here's a joke:

One day, an elderly grandfather and his grandson were outside raking leaves. Moving a pile aside, the grandson spotted an earthworm looking for it's hole. The grandson picks up the earthworm, and tries to stick it back into the small hole. The grandfather, amused, says, "There's no way you can get earthwork back into that hole."
The grandson says, "I'll bet you $20 I can."
The grandfather shakes his head, but agrees. The grandson then runs into the house and returns with a can of hairspray. He straightens out the worm, and sprays it until it can't move. Then he slides the worm neatly into the hole. The grandfather, amazed, hands the grandson $20, grabs the hairspray, and runs into the house.
30 minutes later, the grandfather comes back and hands the grandson another $20. The grandson says, "But grandpa, you already paid me $20."
The grandfather says, "I know...that's from your grandmother!"

[Chinpoko_Mon]

one for the guys...

http://a1060.g.akamai.net/f/1060/597/30minutes/www.zing.com/picture/pee3fcdfaaa5c84b274f9a266197e2af2/feb574f3.jpg.orig.jpg

and one for the ladies..

http://a1060.g.akamai.net/f/1060/597/30minutes/www.zing.com/picture/p865521e92b133be459541d339c310fe2/feb574db.jpg.orig.jpg

or should it be the other way around... hehehehe =P

[The Happy Squirrel]

WTF?
wrong thread????

hehehe

Great jokes guys!!!

[fabfore1]

education at G|A, and it's free... what a DEAL!


[i]Originally posted by fakesurfers

(i.e. cock, a slang term for the penis)

[/B]

Ha, ha, ha you people are to funny! :D LOL

[bella]

A drunk had been drinking at a pub all night, when the bartended
finally made last call. So the drunk stood up to leave and fell flat on
his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result.

He figured he'd crawl outside to get some fresh air and maybe that
would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his
face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.

When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his
face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he
reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right
into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So
you've been out drinking again, have you?!"

"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best
innocent expression.

"The pub called...you left your goddamned wheelchair there again!"

[Chinpoko_Mon]

doh!... mmm... http://www.gotapex.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

[styleee]

"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"

"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady herage," the mother warns "It is not polite."

"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"

"Now really," the mother says, "these are personal questions and are really none of your business."

Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"

"That is enough questions, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.

"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."

The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"

"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."

The mother is past surprise and shock now. "How in heavens name did you find that out?"

"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce."

"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"

"Because you got an F in sex."

(hardy har har)

[irwin]

"Teacher, I need to go to the bathroom"

"I'll let you go only if you recite your 'ABC's'"

"Ok...a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z."

"That was very good but where's the 'p'"?

"It's coming down my pants."

____

Ba dum ching!

[Cheesypuff]

"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?"

"Pretty good!!"

[irwin]

Hey! Cut me some slack! I heard the joke like back in 3rd grade! :)