Californians unite!

[eSDee]

Got this from a friend. I thought it was pretty timely with all the damn rolling blackouts....


America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because California doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs. The rest of the country seems to be just fine with letting Californians dangle in the breeze without enough power to meet their needs. They laugh at Californians' frivolity.
Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:

California ranks 48th in the nation in power consumed per person.

California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts and vegetables. We're keeping them. We need something to eat when the power goes out.

We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you won't miss them.

California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can't be relied upon. Got milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have enough software
to spare.

And while we're at it, we're keeping all our high-tech aerospace stuff too. Like the sophisticated weapons systems that let you sleep at night not worried you might wake up under the rule of some foreign kook.

Oh, yeah, and if you want to make a long-distance call, remember where the satellite components and tracking systems come from. Maybe you could get back in the habit of writing letters.

Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California. We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own electricity, we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are all here.

Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons per year. We'll need all it to drown our sorrows when we think about the fact that no matter how many California products we export to make the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to help us out with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of our wine.

You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build defense systems or make enough wine.

This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too late.

Love,
The Californians

PS: And don't forget that we are keeping Charley Manson captive in a cell with electric locking devices!

[pennypinch]

Ya damn right! Enjoy the "delicious" products of your New Jersey vineyards!

[styleee]

Originally posted by pennypinch
Ya damn right! Enjoy the "delicious" products of your New Jersey vineyards!

hey! my friend from college's family owns one of the biggest vineyards in New Jersey! and their wine is really good! NJ wine is actually quite nice!

[sbp]

hahaha good luck guys your going to need it during the long, hot summer. :P

[jase71]

Ok, tongue-in-cheek here...



Originally posted by EsDeeLoco
We grow 99 percent or more of the nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives, persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you won't miss them.

Artichokes? Persimmons? Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, and yuck.
This is threatening us? You're keeping the ingredients to make fruitcakes away from us? Sounds like a blessing!


California is the nation's number one dairy state. We're keeping our dairy products. We'll need plenty of fresh ones since our refrigerators can't be relied upon. Got milk?

Wisconsin can pick up the slack. No more tofu-flavored milk!



We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough electricity, which you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we just plain don't have enough software
to spare.

Hey, can we consider Redmond part of CA too? Sounds like a deal to me! Since Linux is a product of Europe, I think we'll get along pretty well!



And while we're at it, we're keeping all our high-tech aerospace stuff too. Like the sophisticated weapons systems that let you sleep at night not worried you might wake up under the rule of some foreign kook.

What, all that stuff we build to give to the Chinese? <grin> Besides, we're already under the rule of a kook, why would we need a foreign one?



Want to see a blockbuster movie this weekend? Come to California. We make them here. Since we'll now have to make them with our own electricity, we're keeping them. Even if we shot them somewhere else, the labs, printing facilities, editing facilities, and sound facilities are all here.

You're right. God forbid we should miss the next Dr. T and the Women, or Snow Day. Threatening to take away the industry that gave us Showgirls and Battlefield Earth sounds more like a favor than something to fear!



Want some nice domestic wine? We produce over 17 million gallons per year. We'll need all it to drown our sorrows when we think about the fact that no matter how many California products we export to make the rest of America's lives better, America can't see its way clear to help us out with a little electricity. You can no longer have any of our wine.

Woo-hoo! I think most of that wine is consumed in California, along with a lot of cheese. The rest of the country drinks beer and hard alcohol. Wine... geez.
What are we? FRENCH?



You all complain that we don't build enough power plants. Well, you don't grow enough food, write enough software, make enough movies, build defense systems or make enough wine.

And those are good things! That's why we make California do it! So the rest of us don't have to!



This is your last warning, America. Lighten (us) up before it's too late.

Settle down over there! Turn off a few fondue pots, jacuzzis and blow dryers and you'll all be fine.

Ok, ok. All meant in jest. I have no quibbles with the fine state of California. I apologize!

Love,
The Rest Of Us

[m0j0]

i am down with it

[froggystyle]

personally... i think its great that we arent gonna have power...... maybe we need this down time to refocus our lives away from the almighty BOX (tv/computer). we can go out intot he world again and relearn how to communicate with each other.... plus sushi doesnt require electricity and neither does nookie so i think well be just fine...hey worse comes to worse well use what remaining power we have to genetically create a 400 foot hamster and then well use what raw materialls we have to create a giant hamster wheel and well use the "Giant Hamster" to power our generators..if the hamster goes out of controll then well kill it and have a giant hamster bbq beach party.... only in cali haha

[eSDee]

Hah Jase I should have known you would rip up this argument. You didn't address the Charlie Manson issue though! Whats a matta, got you a little scared? ;)

[NullUnit2000]

:yell: CALIFORNIA UBER ALLES!!!

[Loki]

Originally posted by froggystyle
plus sushi doesnt require electricity and neither does nookie so i think well be just fine...


:naughty: I would agree with that

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by NullUnit2000
:yell: CALIFORNIA UBER ALLES!!!

The Hippies won't come back, you say?
Mellow out or you will pay!!!

Zen Fascists will control you!!!

[m0j0]

Originally posted by EsDeeLoco
Hah Jase I should have known you would rip up this argument. You didn't address the Charlie Manson issue though! Whats a matta, got you a little scared? ;)

if you call that "ripping it up." i mean, really...might as well say "nuh-uh"

face it....we still got all the cards....or most of them

[eSDee]

Originally posted by m0j0


if you call that "ripping it up." i mean, really...might as well say "nuh-uh"

face it....we still got all the cards....or most of them

I meant more like disecting the argument.

[m0j0]

oh, ok

[froggystyle]

in all seriousness though...expect to be paying more for all california goods in order to pay our electricity bils...milk goes up when there is such a demand... movies go up when it costs more to make them cause electricity will be through the roof.. trail mix goes up and the nuts at the bar wont be free anymore (sob sob)...etc

[jase71]

Originally posted by EsDeeLoco
Hah Jase I should have known you would rip up this argument. You didn't address the Charlie Manson issue though! Whats a matta, got you a little scared? ;)

<chuckle>

Well, does it really matter? If he stays locked up, everyone is safe...

If he gets out, he's in California!

I would think you'd want to keep him locked up for your OWN safety... not because the rest of us our concerned! <grin>

Better toss a couple of extra hamsters in the generator, just in case!

Hey, in all seriousness though, are you folk still having rolling blackouts and brownouts, or is that over for a bit?

Jase

[fakesurfers]

Aliena nobis, nostra plus aliis placent.

[froggystyle]

pacific gas and electric just filed for bankrupcy a few days ago. they supply the northern half of the state with electricity....we southern californians still have southern california edison....so rolling blackouts have stopped for the moment down here. Ah well...who cares about northern californianers anyways.....Hey guys, I told you that "hella" thing was getting old..but did you listen? noooo. Now look what you did

[jmac87]

No Cal hella sucks as they say. Sick and tired of hearing hella used every other word. Go So Cal

[m0j0]

i don't know about you guys, but san diego imports our water. i believe some from LA, but i think a lot comes from No CA. i could be wrong tho

[eSDee]

Actually most of the water in San Diego comes from the Imperial Valley.

[cruelpupet]

Originally posted by jmac87
No Cal hella sucks as they say. Sick and tired of hearing hella used every other word. Go So Cal


Just curious...do people in califonia use the word 'hella' a lot?
Being from NYC, wear there are never any blackouts, I wouldnt know.

[froggystyle]

Northern California do....but they dont count as Californians in my oppinion. Heck in not even sure if they are human. No humans could be that hella anoying....So no people dont say hella in California...they say it in the north which I'm renaming to Lesserfornia

[zenbooty]

Don't listen to FroggyStyle. He's just SoCal trash.

[jmac87]

People from Lesserfornia always say hella and relate everything to the bay area, even if they live nowhere near there, as being so mcuh better or worse.

Example: "The food here is hella good, but in the Bay Area it is hella better." OR "Books are hella expensive this quarter, but my friend up at Berkley (or some other "Bay Area" school) pays like $200 more. Hella sucks"

[froggystyle]

oh thats the other thing thatnks for reminding me zenbooty
lerserfornians also tend to lean alot more to tree hugging hippy cr@p.....

lesserfornia is the home to,among other things, santa cruz.....where the colleges have coed bathrooms and people sit around hugging trees and burning incence......and lets not forget berkley world capital of tree hugging hippy cr@p

and here i will prove my point to you

ZEN-BOOTY

dd ya catch it

so heres my statement to you lesserfornia...

like omg whatever and stuff...fer sure duuuuuuude


(in canse you havent all guessed I really have nothing against norcal or tree hugging hippys...shhiiiiiat im just playin)

surfs up dudes

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by froggystyle
oh thats the other thing thatnks for reminding me zenbooty
lerserfornians also tend to lean alot more to tree hugging hippy cr@p.....

While Shallowfornians (that's SoCal, if you haven't got the gist of this thread) lean more toward cosmetic surgery.


lesserfornia is the home to,among other things, santa cruz.....where the colleges have coed bathrooms and people sit around hugging trees and burning incence......and lets not forget berkley world capital of tree hugging hippy cr@p

Shallowfornia is the home to, among other things, Los Angeles, where the police department approaches martial law (if you're not white, that is) and all the water is stolen from other parts of the West (like NoCal, for instance!). Los Angeles was built on a desert, yet everybody waters their lawn till its green. Oh, and the people are all self-centered egotists whose primary concern is looking attractive and stylish.

and here I will prove my point:

FROGGY-STYLE


so heres my statement to you lesserfornia...

like omg whatever and stuff...fer sure duuuuuuude

That is so Hella obnoxious!


(in canse you havent all guessed I really have nothing against norcal or tree hugging hippys...shhiiiiiat im just playin)

Yeah me too.

[zenbooty]

What the hell does ZEN-BOOTY have to do with tree hugging "hippies?" (anyone from NoCal knows that the hippies sold out long ago, and would never be found at any tree-hugging rally or protest. Maybe a dinner fund-raiser for Sierra Club (sellout environmental group), but never anywhere where they might be taken into custody!)



___________________________
"Never trust a hippie..."
-Malcolm McLaren

[gwilks98]

The reason california doesn't have any power is because the democrats and republicans spent more time bitching amongst themselves when they had the time and power to prevent this.

Your power needs can go to hell, as far as I'm concerned. Your legislative branch screwed up. Be pissed at them.

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by gwilks98
The reason california doesn't have any power is because the democrats and republicans spent more time bitching amongst themselves when they had the time and power to prevent this.

What an astute revelation. You should run for president. Really, I mean it.


Your power needs can go to hell, as far as I'm concerned. Your legislative branch screwed up. Be pissed at them.

Merry Christmas to you, too, wherever the Hell you live.

[cruelpupet]

Originally posted by zenbooty

Shallowfornia is the home to, among other things, Los Angeles, where the police department approaches martial law (if you're not white, that is) and all the water is stolen from other parts of the West (like NoCal, for instance!). Los Angeles was built on a desert, yet everybody waters their lawn till its green. Oh, and the people are all self-centered egotists whose primary concern is looking attractive and stylish.
[/b]

This summer Im gonna be spending some time in Marina Del Rey. And since alot of you seem to be from CA, I was jsut curious how you would describe that area. Where is it Lesserfornia or Shallowfornia?

Id like to hear comments from both sides on Marina Del Rey

[m0j0]

i thought that the politicians decided it was a good idea to have some of the power plants shut down to gradually force the power companies into asking for government help and eventually having it run by uncle big bro

[rum]

GO CALI! Home of Alcatraz, and the great movie, The Rock.

[eSDee]

anyone detecting the irony here?

[froggystyle]

In case anyone hasnt heared the cali gov signed a big deal yesterday to bail out electricity dudes with our tax dollars 3 billin or so of our tax dollars and so there you have it ...big man screws up little man pays....ah well...such is life

P.S. hahahahaa shallowfornia.... hahaha can't argue with that

[froggystyle]

hey you shut up marina del rey.... you know you have no say

[johnnymk]

In the Seventies, California was called the land of fruits and nuts. Are you trying to say that the defintion has expanded to include Geeks and Airheads?
Seriously. I visited California several times and I loved it. I really love the cars and street rods there , but the traffic has gotten out of hand.