Drinking Makes You Smarter

[rum]

The Buffalo Theory Of Beer Drinking & Brain Development:
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.
The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.:idea:


This really works. You students especially should be drinking before your tests to kill off those weak brain cells. Any other believers in this theory?

[jmac87]

Can't wait for midterms to try this theory out.

[m0j0]

that is why i am a freakin genius

[ACE]

None don't get no smarter than me.... bottoms up!!

[ArkiStan]

maybe I should stop drinking now. :D

[rum]

Originally posted by ucbstan
maybe I should stop drinking now. :D

Why stop? Don't u wanna be smarter?
And by the way, The Rock is a good movie. You should get drunk and then watch it before your tests. I always at least listen to the theme song before taking midterms.

[ArkiStan]

Originally posted by rum
Why stop? Don't u wanna be smarter?


I wouldn't wanna get too smart. Also, if I get dumber I might start liking The Rock too.

[oblongmelon]

Say that to the family members of men,women and children who were killed by drunk drivers. Including Abbra-who had her 19 year old daughter and only child (and her daughters' best friend at the same time) killed by a drunk. These kids were on the Dean's list in college and were merely walking home from the 7-11 at 10pm on a warm August night when some DRUNK ******* who had already been convicted of 3 DWI'S and 2 DUI's in a few other states plowed into them killing them both. Lynn-Abbra's daughter was thrown 300 feet,recieved fatal internal injuries, and severed leg and 4 fingers on one hand. Laurie-her best friend, was thrown 50 feet,and was decapitated. I am requesting that Leon,LPM or one of the other powers that be close this thread because it is so damn offensive.

[cruelpupet]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
Say that to the family members of men,women and children who were killed by drunk drivers. Including Abbra-who had her 19 year old daughter and only child (and her daughters' best friend at the same time) killed by a drunk. These kids were on the Dean's list in college and were merely walking home from the 7-11 at 10pm on a warm August night when some DRUNK ******* who had already been convicted of 3 DWI'S and 2 DUI's in a few other states plowed into them killing them both. Lynn-Abbra's daughter was thrown 300 feet,recieved fatal internal injuries, and severed leg and 4 fingers on one hand. Laurie-her best friend, was thrown 50 feet,and was decapitated. I am requesting that Leon,LPM or one of the other powers that be close this thread because it is so damn offensive.



Theres a big difference between drinking and being a drunk. And I dont see anyone in this thread talking about driving drunk, so what are you taking offense to?


You need to lighten up a little

tell ya what I'll buy you a beer

[Edited by cruelpupet on 04-12-2001 at 05:12 AM]

[fakesurfers]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
Say that to the family members of men,women and children who were killed by drunk drivers. Including Abbra-who had her 19 year old daughter and only child (and her daughters' best friend at the same time) killed by a drunk. These kids were on the Dean's list in college and were merely walking home from the 7-11 at 10pm on a warm August night when some DRUNK ******* who had already been convicted of 3 DWI'S and 2 DUI's in a few other states plowed into them killing them both. Lynn-Abbra's daughter was thrown 300 feet,recieved fatal internal injuries, and severed leg and 4 fingers on one hand. Laurie-her best friend, was thrown 50 feet,and was decapitated. I am requesting that Leon,LPM or one of the other powers that be close this thread because it is so damn offensive.


Geez! Lighten up. You mean we arent even supposed to talk about drinking? Hmmmm:

http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=20818

[ironchef]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
Say that to the family members of men,women and children who were killed by drunk drivers. Including Abbra-who had her 19 year old daughter and only child (and her daughters' best friend at the same time) killed by a drunk. These kids were on the Dean's list in college and were merely walking home from the 7-11 at 10pm on a warm August night when some DRUNK ******* who had already been convicted of 3 DWI'S and 2 DUI's in a few other states plowed into them killing them both. Lynn-Abbra's daughter was thrown 300 feet,recieved fatal internal injuries, and severed leg and 4 fingers on one hand. Laurie-her best friend, was thrown 50 feet,and was decapitated. I am requesting that Leon,LPM or one of the other powers that be close this thread because it is so damn offensive.

Sorry to hear all that. I went to high school with some folks that were killed by drunk drivers. It's a tragic and wasteful thing, especially when it happens to the innocent.

That being said, I think you should point your anger toward the careless judge that let a lowlife like that within 100 yards of an automobile and not toward those that can handle adult beverages responsibly.

[oblongmelon]

the fact that anyone would associate drinking and being drunk with being intelligent is simply ignorant and offensive. Get a clue.
[/B][/QUOTE]
Sorry to hear all that. I went to high school with some folks that were killed by drunk drivers. It's a tragic and wasteful thing, especially when it happens to the innocent.

That being said, I think you should point your anger toward the careless judge that let a lowlife like that within 100 yards of an automobile and not toward those that can handle adult beverages responsibly.

[/B][/QUOTE]

thanks for your input IronChef- the judge was a fine man-he did what he could to prosecute this guy-but under New York State law-the drunk was only required to serve 2 and 1/4 years in prison total because he had a plea bargain with the district attorney. Believe you me, the judge-the Honorable Martin Smith did not let the fact go unnoticed that if it was up to him this guy would have served the sentence with EXACTLy what he deserved-Mandatory life in prison. NO EXCEPTIONS..unfortunately-what he thought and what he had to do per the law did not coincide.


[Edited by oblongmelon on 04-12-2001 at 06:41 AM]

[m0j0]

i only drink at home. oh, 'cept in hawaii, where i went to a luau. but i didn't drive.

[froggystyle]

I attend UCSB I'm sure you have all heared what went on here in Feb.....thats four lives and one in the hospital....and i have news for you...david attias was not drunk he just felt like plowing into some people....the point of what im trying to say is that cars are dangerous they are weapons....we walk around everyday fearing guns while there are way more lethal weapons in our possession....Yes drunk drivers suck......but in a community like mine everyone but the drivers are drunk and stilll it is the drivers who kill....anyways we have yet to have any major problems with drinking in our community and that is because the majority have enough common sense not to drive drunk....so chill... it is common practice to drink before tests here... not cause it makes you smarter but because it was fun...I am offended by your being offended...-people drink....deal with it

[oblongmelon]

yes-people drink-but to make a comment such as Drinking makes you smart is the most ignorant thing I've heard in ages... Please dont associate someone who is obviously into running people over for the hell of it with People who are drunk-that has nothing to do with the stupid comment about drinking making you smarter. And just because you don't know of any MAJOR problems in your community due to excessing drinking does not mean it is not happening. Your rationale is way off base.

[fakesurfers]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
I have to agree on this one..the Guinness in ireland seems to have more of an appeal over there than it does here..while it is usually my beer of choice (if the establishment provides it-or if i crack my wallet to break down and buy it)I'll settle for any kind of dark brew over light stuff anyday..A good black and tan is best overall-you get the best of both worlds..We got introduced to these things in Dublin after a tour of James Matthews/Funeral Home-Pub. (it HONESTLY IS A FUNERAL HOME AND PUB IN ONE DWELLING with nothing more than a swinging door to seperate the two)Pity the poor soul who's funeral was going on when we asked to go through the place-but after going in and seeing the way they celebrate funerals (a bit a intense wailing followed by days and days of drinking)..it was understandable WHY the pub is right there..



After spending 15 or 16 New Years in Times Square we finally called it quits and just in time. I spent the New year drinking Hard Cider in front of a blazing TV screen watching for my kids (who were in the Square in my place)..to see if they were freezing their asses off.(They were warned!)..Worst thing that happened to the oldest was someone puked in the hood of his jacket. They spent the Pre-Millenium hours at THE LIONS den in Manhattan-I hear this was 'THE PLACE TO BE" ...*shrugs*-I think I'd rather be warm than do Times Square again.


*****hypocrisy alert

sounds kind of pro-drinking to me

[ArkiStan]

OBLONGMELON:
I sincerely uderstand the reasoning behind your anger and unacceptance of this thread. Drinking and driving is an extremely irresponsible act. And especially when you have lost ones around you because of it, it hits home even stronger. You just gotta understand that we're joking around here. I think 99% the jokes on this forum revolve around things that aren't necessarily beneficial to society. I'm not saying you can't state your opinion. I'm just worried that you might get overly insulted by our mindless banter. So just ignore me and these other idiots.

Anyway, you wouldn't be able to win this debate. We drink too much. :heh:


TO THE REST OF YOU:
You know what oblong's trying to say. Let's just leave her alone now and do our thang.

[ChIcKeN_HaWk]

fakesurfers quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by oblongmelon
I have to agree on this one..the Guinness in ireland seems to have more of an appeal over there than it does here..while it is usually my beer of choice (if the establishment provides it-or if i crack my wallet to break down and buy it)I'll settle for any kind of dark brew over light stuff anyday..A good black and tan is best overall-you get the best of both worlds..We got introduced to these things in Dublin after a tour of James Matthews/Funeral Home-Pub. (it HONESTLY IS A FUNERAL HOME AND PUB IN ONE DWELLING with nothing more than a swinging door to seperate the two)Pity the poor soul who's funeral was going on when we asked to go through the place-but after going in and seeing the way they celebrate funerals (a bit a intense wailing followed by days and days of drinking)..it was understandable WHY the pub is right there..

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After spending 15 or 16 New Years in Times Square we finally called it quits and just in time. I spent the New year drinking Hard Cider in front of a blazing TV screen watching for my kids (who were in the Square in my place)..to see if they were freezing their asses off.(They were warned!)..Worst thing that happened to the oldest was someone puked in the hood of his jacket. They spent the Pre-Millenium hours at THE LIONS den in Manhattan-I hear this was 'THE PLACE TO BE" ...*shrugs*-I think I'd rather be warm than do Times Square again.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



*****hypocrisy alert

sounds kind of pro-drinking to me




This very funny!!

[m0j0]

well, clearly since drinking makes one smarter, the person who drinks the most should be able to win the debate

[fakesurfers]

woohoo! I win!

[ChIcKeN_HaWk]

I might also be in the top 5.

[apmiller]

I kill my brain through video games therefore I am the smart person in the world...or is that I know stuff. Umm, I can think more than you...

I am Miller and I is smart! AAAAAHHHHH! Brain hurt must not think of stuff no more today.

Hmm, me thinks it be time to START drinkin! PASS THE BEER!

[oblongmelon]

I do not remember saying that I did NOT drink. I do remember saying that it's a bit ignorant to say it makes you smart. Before you start quoting posts maybe you should read them first.
[/quote][/b]

*****hypocrisy alert

sounds kind of pro-drinking to me
[/B][/QUOTE]
talk about hypocrisy-at least I don't post on NUMEROUS forums under different names like some YDF people-SOUND FAMILIAR? It amazes me that FAKESURFERS took the time to scan every single post I've written about alcohol-in order to post them all here yet-OBVIOUSLY didnt take the time to read the first post. I drink just like anyone else-BUT to say THAT IT MAKES YOU SMART is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said. Now FAKESURFERS-why DONT you post your YDF nickname so we all can see EXACTLY what kind of trouble you are starting THIS time.

[Edited by oblongmelon on 04-12-2001 at 01:41 PM]

[abbra]

I haven't been on for a while and first of all I want to clarify that Fakesurfer is on here posting about hypocracy when he/she/it posts under all different kinds of names on other forums and I understand runs back to the other boards telling tales. One of the boards that fakesurfer frequents is the board which creates trouble for such other servers one such recently at FreebieFix which Leon or a moderator from here can check out with the moderators over their. It seems where all these people travel on different boards they start trouble sooner or later.

As far as drinking, If you want to drink, just don't get behind the wheel of a car. Drinking does not make you smart and whoever said that needs to get a reality check. Obby said that the post was offensive, but she didn't say she didn't drink.
She did say its ignorant to say that drinking makes you smart.

All apex buds out there be prepared for an influx of asswholes to come over here to raise a little hell now that Ob and I have posted. It must be a slow week for anyone creating trouble over at YDF for them to come over here and post their bull.

Fakesurfer, seeing as how your good at finding quotes find the post where oblong said she doesn't drink!!!!

By the way Ob just used my daughters death as an example of some of the stupid crap that happens when a person is drunk and irresponsible. Drinking and getting behind the wheel and killing someone aren't the only ways drunks kill people. Not everyone who enjoys a drink is a drunk but to post that drinking makes you smart, well like I said before they need a reality check and I think they are feeding you all a bunch of bullshit.

[Edited by abbra on 04-12-2001 at 01:56 PM]

[fakesurfers]

what the hell is YDF?

and what the hell is the southern hemisphere?

[DanielNTX]

I believe it stands for Yuppie Dumb F*ck or Yellow Dick Fungus which is highly contagious.

[fakesurfers]

For the record:

I dont know what the hell YDF (is it this? (http://www.ydf.org.uk/)) is and the only other board I post on is the Hardforum. I have never mentioned gotapex there, as I am a mere stank cheeze. The name I use is different, but anyone with enough smarts (i.e. has been drinking)
would be able to tell the name is the same.

Did I look at every post? Nope, just used the handy search function, cross referencing drink and oblong melon.

Why the vitriol? If you've got a problem with alcohol, stay out of this thread, we're just joking around. I am just trying to show that you talked about drinking in positive terms, until you got on your high horse. Sheesh!

Relax, will ya? If you dont like to drink, then why not take a chill pill? :laugh:

This is not an apology. I'm an American. We dont apologize.

[tricky808]

I kinda like Yodeling Drip Funk myself..

[ironchef]

you don't fornicate

[oblongmelon]

and why did you feel the need to cross reference oblongmelon with drinking? thinking your going to find something to "prove"..if I had said I didnt drink or didnt LIKE to drink I would have posted it in the FIRST post of this thread. Unfortunately YOU don't know how to read. And now that I think of it-this post isnt offensive to just people who have had drunks/drinking ruin their lives=but also to SOME of us who ARE smart AND DIDNT GET there by drinking. And yet you feel the need to keep this post going..well don't worry-just the fact that you haven't acknowledged the fact that I never said I didn't drink IS apology enough.

[fakesurfers]

you sound like you need a drink :laugh:

[fakesurfers]

and what the hell is YDF???!!!???

[tricky808]

wassamatter had too much to drink already? I can't understand your rebuttal...:cheers:

Fakesurfers must've touched a nerve or sumpin' :puke:

[oblongmelon]

Hardly. fakesurfers KNOWs exactly what I am referring to.

[fakesurfers]

lady, just tell me what the hell YDF is... quit jerking me around y'hear?

[oblongmelon]

riiiiiiight. Nice cover.

[fakesurfers]

Please, do us the courtesy of showing a link to that which you are referring. Otherwise, I may have to start working or something...

[fakesurfers]

http://www.hardforum.com/showthread.php?threadid=126026

here's an example of the other board i post on. A shiny nickel for whomever can figure which one is me....

[oblongmelon]

Nah-thats ok-I don't need to try and prove myself unlike SOME people who try and fail to discredit someone. You know what I am talking about-and that's all I need to say.

[Got Apex Moderator]

Its interesting that fakesurfers, DanielNTX and tricky808 all have the same ip address.

[oblongmelon]

amazing isn't it.

[oblongmelon]

G|A mod-u have an email that I can speak with ya? ah..nevermind-I found it. :)

[Edited by oblongmelon on 04-12-2001 at 03:03 PM]

[Got Apex Moderator]

Check your mailbox

[fakesurfers]

Originally posted by Got Apex Moderator
Its interesting that fakesurfers, DanielNTX and tricky808 all have the same ip address.



we all work at the same place... a proxy server, n'est-ce pas?

[oblongmelon]

msg recieved. Reply to follow.

[fakesurfers]

ahhhh. the secret 'proof' i cant wait to hear this

[ArkiStan]

Hehe...at the moment I'm writing this, fakesurfers has 666 posts...

what's going on here?? it' sounds like a bunch of kids arguing over who did what to whom and who did it first and "teacher teacher someone did blah blah" and "no I didn't" and ....

maybe it's not my place to talk...and I need a drink.

[Tuvi]

getting back on topic here, how do you know that beer kills the slowest brain cells? is there some kind of scientific proof for this?

[m0j0]

it's evolution. the slowest brain cells can't keep up and so become extinct

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
and why did you feel the need to cross reference oblongmelon with drinking? thinking your going to find something to "prove"..if I had said I didnt drink or didnt LIKE to drink I would have posted it in the FIRST post of this thread. Unfortunately YOU don't know how to read. And now that I think of it-this post isnt offensive to just people who have had drunks/drinking ruin their lives=but also to SOME of us who ARE smart AND DIDNT GET there by drinking. And yet you feel the need to keep this post going..well don't worry-just the fact that you haven't acknowledged the fact that I never said I didn't drink IS apology enough.

he never said you said you didn't drink. however, you feel that "drinking = smart" is a horrible thing to say. he was making the point that you have, in the past, shown a sense of humor about drinking. this thread is also all about a sense of humor about drinking. the one thing this thread was not about is that drinking and driving is cool - driving drunk was never mentioned in this thread until you started shrieking about it.

of COURSE the comment about drinking = smart is ignorant - that's what made it funny! duh, duh, duh.

this seems to be very nonsensical reasoning... "uhh... this says that drinking is funny... it says that drinking makes you smart... some people might take that to mean that anything you do while drinking is smart and cool... like driving while drinking... flame everyone who laughed cause i don't find it funny!!!"

exactly how far do you think logic will stretch?!?! you just found its elastic limit and SNAPPED it.

now calm down. if you can't see that nobody here was trying to imply that drinking and driving is okay, and that nobody with half a brain would ever misinterpret anything here to mean that drinking and driving is okay, then you are beyond all reason. it is YOUR rationale that is way off base. and all your base are, of course, belong to us.

and who cares how many places anyone posts under what names?

nuff said.

[Edited by welfareloser on 04-12-2001 at 04:49 PM]

[oblongmelon]

Originally posted by ucbstan
Hehe...at the moment I'm writing this, fakesurfers has 666 posts...

what's going on here?? it' sounds like a bunch of kids arguing over who did what to whom and who did it first and "teacher teacher someone did blah blah" and "no I didn't" and ....

maybe it's not my place to talk...and I need a drink.

trust me-its nothing you want to get involved with-it IS a bunch of kiddie crap that started on another forum and that some people think they can continue here. Nothing to worry about though-at least not on my end. Now Tuvi-My nephew needed a date for some democratic thing in DC and ended up having that guy Al Franken as his dinner guest....wierd isnt it..(and no the nephew isnt gay-come to the chatroom and I'll send you the pix of the Al and Dom :) )


and who cares how many places anyone posts under what names?

NOBODY-this wasn't about how many places or names people post under.Nor is it about DRUNK DRIVERS.. It started out as a point being made about HOW STUPID a comment about drinking making you smart is..and ended up with someone ELSE trying to instigate bullshit that is a carry over from another server from last year. And quite honestly-it stinks. BUT-no need to get everyone involved. I have said and done what I had to do.
Thanks for the input though.



[Edited by oblongmelon on 04-12-2001 at 04:55 PM]

[Tuvi]

Originally posted by m0j0
it's evolution. the slowest brain cells can't keep up and so become extinct
hahahah

[fakesurfers]

I still dont know what the hell she is talking about. :confused: I just wish she would share with us what got her knickers into a bunch. Maybe I'll have a few drinks and figure it out.

[rum]

Damn I never thought this thread was gonna turn into this... I never said anything about drinking & driving, I know thats just stupid. But my drinking makes you smarter thing was a joke, so take it easy, alrite.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by oblongmelon
It started out as a point being made about HOW STUPID a comment about drinking making you smart is..and ended up with someone ELSE trying to instigate bullshit that is a carry over from another server from last year.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by oblongmelon
the fact that anyone would associate drinking and being drunk with being intelligent is simply ignorant and offensive. Get a clue.


see, the second quote was the first nasty thing said in this thread. that would be YOU instigating bullshit.

[eSDee]

This is a bullshit thread. First of all, this is like the 5th time since I have been here that this joke has been posted so it's extremely unfunny to me regardless of if it encourages people or not to go out and start plowing people down with their cars after a couple of drinks during happy hour. Of course drunks killing innocent people is a horrible thing, but it is such a huge stretch to get from the Buffalo Theory of Alcohol Consumption to killing people in your cars. If this trend continues then no jokes on this board will be safe since someone or something is the butt of every joke. There are alot of people who post here without concern of offending people with their posts, but most post because they want to make other Apexers laugh or to just share an experience with them. That's what I believe fakesurfers was trying to do, and so when you attack him for it and call him ignorant just for making a JOKE, what do you expect him to do but defend himself by finding your hipocracies?
There are so many people out there now who are just looking to lash out at others and these boards have been the perfect place of late. I think that sucks, and to show my disapproval of this, I will never come to this website again.....



Until tomorrow, when I get my cable modem installed....

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by EsDeeLoco

Until tomorrow, when I get my cable modem installed....


hee hee....

once you go cable, you'll never go back to dial-up (unless you move to the boonies like me and there is no cable or dsl...)

[Loosah]

Originally posted by fakesurfers
lady, just tell me what the hell YDF is... quit jerking me around y'hear? Please, do us the courtesy of showing a link to that which you are referring. Otherwise, I may have to start working or something...



Fakesurfers, here is the link you requested. You seem to know exactly what YDF is in this thread.

http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=15637


[Edited by Loosah on 04-14-2001 at 01:17 PM]

[oblongmelon]

Why Loosah-you read my mind.

[fakesurfers]

Eureka! I finally figured out what the hell you are talking about. Unfortunately, I have never posted at that site. Nice try. Do a little more research before you accuse me (of what Im still unsure of) and ask the admin of the board what the offending person's IP is. It wont match.
Also, let it be known I dont appreciate you impugning my character and besmirching my good name.

[m0j0]

i get the sneaking suspicion that alcohol may be a depressant

[ski]

alcohol.... blech

[m0j0]

bleach is a depressant, too

[fakesurfers]

I went to a bleach party in Vietnam
I was surfing with the VietCong

[eSDee]

Well fakesurfers, give it up. What was the site they were talking about?

[fakesurfers]

some deal forum i visited once or twice.... i dont remember the name exactly

[rum]

Originally posted by m0j0
i get the sneaking suspicion that alcohol may be a depressant

Only when you don't have enough. :bawl:

[oblongmelon]

Originally posted by fakesurfers
some deal forum i visited once or twice.... i dont remember the name exactly

If you don't remember the name-then how do you know it was a deal forum? The noose gets tighter.