A Public Service Announcement about your balls...

[pennypinch]

*ahem*...la la la...

Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Feel your balls, Squeeze your balls,
Tease your balls, Please your balls

Early detection is the key,
Rub your balls and you won't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, feel your balls you don't want cancer

Rub your balls, Squeeze your balls so you don't get cancer
Masterbate every day!

Hey kids, feel your balls so you don't get cancer
Hey kids, rub your balls so you don't get cancer

Rub your balls while masterbating!

Hey kids, rub your balls while masterbating looking for lumps
If you find a lump then go to the doctor and get your testicle removed

Rub your testicles while masterbating or while not masterbating

Rub your balls for no reason other than for checking for cancer
Or rub your balls specifically for the

OK after that musical introduction, lemme lay out my story of woe. So I was watching the Tom Green show, and of course it's the Cancer Special. I'd never seen it, and it was a pretty good episode; I believe it was roundly hailed as one of the best shows of the year.

Anyway, so I was getting into the shower, and realized I hadn't checked myself in quite a while. To my absolute horror, there's a very hard, smallish lump. I nearly pissed myself in the shower.

So I've scheduled an appointment with, of all people, the urologist that handled Tom. I have a scrotal ultrasound, which sounds like a barrell of monkeys, and until Wednesday, I'll be sweating fucking bullets. I haven't really been able to sleep for the last few nights.

The moral of the story, kids, is this: judging by Sweetness's thread, we're mostly guys, young guys, in here. I've been doing some research, and this is apparently the most prevalent kind of cancer in our demographic. So, as Tom might say, "Feel your balls, squeeze your balls, tease your balls, please your balls." Please.

[sbp]

I hope everything will be okay pennypinch

[cruelpupet]

our prayers go out to your balls, i seriously hope everythng is ok down there

[ArkiStan]

Don't worry dude. You'll get through it fine, and then you'll deserve that spankin new car.

[m0j0]

good luck with your balls

[stupidzbu]

i'm very experienced with these ball growths...

summer 1999 i had a growth on my right nut... i went to the family doctor.. no big deal.. turned out to be a cyst... the guy popped it with his hands... gave me amoxocillin... and told me to clean my balls with isopropyl alcohol EVERY day...

it burns at first.. then feels oddly exciting!

so... summer of 2000.. i got another strange growth.. same spot.. i though 'jeez not another damn cyst!' turns out a gland of mine had swollen... the doctor said it;s cause i spend too much time sitting down.. sweating .. and it causes all these infections... whoda thunk it huh?

so... hopefully you get one of those above.....

we ahd a really good time laughing about my nut cyst too... hehehe

[stupidzbu]

Originally posted by pennypinch


Hey LADIES, feel MY balls so I won't get cancer
Hey LADIES, feel MY balls so I Won't get cancer
Feel MY balls, Squeeze MY balls,
Tease MY balls, Please MY balls

Early detection is the key,
Rub MY balls and I won't get cancer
Hey girls, feel MY balls so I don't get cancer
Hey girls, feel MY balls i don't want cancer

Rub MY balls, Squeeze MY balls ..even YOU might not get cancer
Masterbate every day!

Rub MY balls while masterbating! PLEASE!!

Hey Ladies, rub my balls while you masterbate looking for pleasure
If you find it, go to YOUR FRIENDS and get them to play with my balls!

Rub MY testicles while masterbating or while not masterbating

Rub MY balls for no reason
Or rub MY balls specifically for MY PLEASURE!



HAHAHAHHAHAHA

i know this is a serious topic... but how could I resist ?!

[ironchef]

wow, sorry to hear that penny. let us know how it goes.

i'll repost my shameless plug from the other thread, only this time it's not so shameless

for info about testicular cancer and checkin yourself, check out:

http://www.preventcancer.org/pdf/testicular.pdf (english)
http://www.preventcancer.org/pdf/sptesticular.pdf (spanish)

http://www.preventcancer.org/mhealth1827testicular.cfm

good luck, fella.

[LPMiller]

good luck man. Hopefully it's just a cyst or something.

I check my balls all the time...mostly just because they are there.

[apmiller]

Good luck buddy, though I know you won't need it because it will all turn out all right in the end. Fear not and know we're all thinkin about you and your balls...or something like that. Just take care bub.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by stupidzbu
i'm very experienced with these ball growths...

summer 1999 i had a growth on my right nut... i went to the family doctor.. no big deal.. turned out to be a cyst... the guy popped it with his hands... gave me amoxocillin... and told me to clean my balls with isopropyl alcohol EVERY day...

it burns at first.. then feels oddly exciting!

so... summer of 2000.. i got another strange growth.. same spot.. i though 'jeez not another damn cyst!' turns out a gland of mine had swollen... the doctor said it;s cause i spend too much time sitting down.. sweating .. and it causes all these infections... whoda thunk it huh?

so... hopefully you get one of those above.....

we ahd a really good time laughing about my nut cyst too... hehehe

shit, that was funny. not the fact that it happened, of course, just the delicate wording....

and, if it is a tumor, and they have to cut of a nut, just remember, you only need one!

here's things we could call you:
uniball,
one nut short of a full sack,
the nutless wonder,
half-nuts.

things we could say to you:
[cartman voice] "i'll kick you in the nut!" [/cartman voice]
"you don't have the ball to do that."

(i've had a lot of time to think of these 'cause someone very close to me is similarly afflicted, and so far has a good sense of humor about it...)

[cruelpupet]

hey welfare, you wanna check me and make sure im in good condition??? ;)

[Butch]

Man oh man . . . I never thought one of the monkeys would be reciting Tom Green . . . oh well . . . anyway, that was actually the one episode of Tom Green I've watched all the way through . . . was quite good and the only one of his I like and remotely respect.

As for your current situation, a friend of mine from HS just went through that . . . he had to have a testicle removed . . . had the surgery done by the same guy who did Lance Armstrong's surgery. He's doing well now.

On a lighter note, I still have to make plans to get out to Cali, but it shouldn't be a problem. I talked to the love monkey the other day after we talked and I will stay with him most likely. I'll be in touch.

[Edited by Butch on 04-26-2001 at 08:48 PM]

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by cruelpupet
hey welfare, you wanna check me and make sure im in good condition??? ;)

if you think you can say that to me without repurcussions (decapitation by lightsaber comes to mind), your balls are obviously in perfect working order. :-P

[eSDee]

Good luck Pennypinch I wish you all the best brutha. Maybe you'll get lucky, it will be a cyst and you will get a prescription for some medical marijuana!

[evil-will]

Hey does anybody else have these symptoms ? A slight
twinge of pain in the right testicle every once in a while and for no apparent reason....starting to worry !

[topane]

Don't ask us, ask your doctor! Could be a hernia, could be something else, but you should seek the advice of a professional.

[pennypinch]

Thanks for all the niceness, but this wasn't a plea for sympathy. In fact, the thought of a grown man thinking about me balls (I'm lookin' at you, apmiller!) makes me decidedly squidgy.

This was just a reminder to fondle yo' nuts, because I know I didn't enough before this.

As the Japanese pencil box might say, "Feel your balls, it's super top #1 for health!"

[apmiller]

Originally posted by pennypinch
Thanks for all the niceness, but this wasn't a plea for sympathy. In fact, the thought of a grown man thinking about me balls (I'm lookin' at you, apmiller!) makes me decidedly squidgy.

This was just a reminder to fondle yo' nuts, because I know I didn't enough before this.

As the Japanese pencil box might say, "Feel your balls, it's super top #1 for health!"

HEY there now! I'm not thinking about your balls! I was just saying you know we're thinking about your...I was just...ah...Wow is that a jet plain over in the sky there?

Boy I'm starting to give folks the wrong idea about me around here.

[oblongmelon]

Penny-I admire your honesty regarding your balls.
As a registered Nurse for many years, I can say your service announcement has been a fabulous one..Testicular cancer is nothing to laugh over. I hope everything goes well for you.

[zenbooty]

Hey, John Starks just had one removed. And he thinks he'll be able to make it back to the court by the next round, if the Knick make it.

[pennypinch]

Originally posted by zenbooty
Hey, John Starks just had one removed. And he thinks he'll be able to make it back to the court by the next round, if the Knick make it.
That's pretty amazing, considering he plays for the *shudder* Jazz. :D

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by pennypinch

Originally posted by zenbooty
Hey, John Starks just had one removed. And he thinks he'll be able to make it back to the court by the next round, if the Knick make it.
That's pretty amazing, considering he plays for the *shudder* Jazz. :D

DOH!!!

[Hiro]

Originally posted by pennypinch
To my absolute horror, there's a very hard, smallish lump.[/B]

sorry to hear it man. :(

[sbp]

Whats the update?

[ProMinx]

Originally posted by stupidzbu
i'm very experienced with these ball growths...

summer 1999 i had a growth on my right nut... i went to the family doctor.. no big deal.. turned out to be a cyst... the guy popped it with his hands... gave me amoxocillin... and told me to clean my balls with isopropyl alcohol EVERY day...

it burns at first.. then feels oddly exciting!

so... summer of 2000.. i got another strange growth.. same spot.. i though 'jeez not another damn cyst!' turns out a gland of mine had swollen... the doctor said it;s cause i spend too much time sitting down.. sweating .. and it causes all these infections... whoda thunk it huh?

so... hopefully you get one of those above.....

we ahd a really good time laughing about my nut cyst too... hehehe

This is what we call TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! AAAGGGHHHH! Now I have stupid bzu's sweaty balls on my mind...blauf!

ProMinx