bad pick up lines

[m0j0]

here are some i know of :P

you must be tired....cuz you been runnin 'round in my head all day

you should change your name to "visa"....cuz you're everywhere i want to be

if i tell you that you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

someone call heaven! cuz i think they're missing an angel

what's a place like this doing around a nice girl like you? (ok, so i have used that one....lol)


i know everyone here has more! or at least has heard them....

[Leon]

Here's a bad pickup line:


Are your parents pirates? Then why do you have a sunken chest?

[Speedfreak]

Is that how you don't get any Leon?

[Leon]

Story of my life... Maybe it's the approach...

[hapoo]

ahh you guys are cracking me up!!! :heh: keep it comin

[irwin]

I use to have a list of like 100 bad pick up lines on my site, but go.com homepages went under and I didn't make a backup.

"Damn baby, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you cuz you are DA SHIT!"

[m0j0]

Originally posted by hapoo
ahh you guys are cracking me up!!! :heh: keep it comin

who is he picking up on with that?!? :umm:

[TheLoneGunman]

C'mon on to my place and we can post on the Deals board together...

I've got a rough-cut of Episode II on VCD...

You remember that episode where Spock and Kirk land on the planet...

Hey baby, nice hooters!

and the #1 bad pick up line:

"Hi, I'm The Lone Gunman!"

[OC]

- A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

- Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call your mother and thank her.

- Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

- You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

- If you stood infront of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you
would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

- You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

[topane]

How would you like a little (insert ethnicity here) in you?

[ArkiStan]

-You must be a fruit juice, cause you're VERY FINE!!

-Hey I like your shirt. It would look better crumpled up next to my bed in the morning.

-Hey babe, nice shoes....wanna fuck?

[Greta]

Can I get some fries with that shake?

"Love that Chewing Gum walk: Very Wrigley" - props to Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons

[irwin]

If your right leg were Thanksgiving and your left leg were Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays?

[Speedfreak]

Originally posted by Passwird
If your right leg were Thanksgiving and your left leg were Christmas, could I visit you between the holidays?

..and bring the Yule Log. :D

[DaFunkyUnit]

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Coz I can see myself in your pants!

Wanna do math? We can add our bodies, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

[Speedfreak]

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way


Wow! Are those real?
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow
job? No! Well in that case, D'ya wanna do lunch?
Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Do you spit or swallow?
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
I'll make you shiver when I deliver.

Hi. You'll do.
Hi. Are you legal?
Drop 'em!
Do you know how to use a whip?

If I let you suck on my tongue would you be greatful? :heh:

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna have sex?
You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?
I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?
Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? No. Oh, C'mon! Lower your standards a little. I did...

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?


[Edited by Speedfreak on 05-30-2001 at 01:40 AM]

[rum]

Here's a good one:

http://www.testcondoms.org/CurrentStudies.html
Wanna help me conduct some research?

[revil]

Originally posted by topane
How would you like a little (insert ethnicity here) in you?
How would you like a little white pasty caucasian in you?

[styleee]

Originally posted by ucbstan
-You must be a fruit juice, cause you're VERY FINE!!



that is a good one! i've never heard it before :)

and i actually haven't heard any cheese ball pick up lines lately. mostly just dirty men whistling at me as i walk down the street. i swear, i really need an ugly mask or something sometimes.

[CluelessSi]

Originally posted by styleee


and i actually haven't heard any cheese ball pick up lines lately. mostly just dirty men whistling at me as i walk down the street. i swear, i really need an ugly mask or something sometimes.

Haha =P Ugly mask can't hide the body though :P

[BADFlSH]

What has 160 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper!

[pennypinch]

Originally posted by BADFlSH
What has 160 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper!

Oh, that one is pure genius!

I like the "Does this smell like Chloroform to you?"

And for Christ's sakes, you guys, it's:

"Do you have any (we'll use the good Reverand's example) pasty white caucasian in you?"

no

"Would you like some?"

It's like you guys have never been slapped before or something...

[mcs328]

"How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized? *wink wink*"

I've actually used this one...sigh.

[Loki]

"Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?" :D

[Hrudey]

Are you Jamaican? Cuz Ja-makin me crazy

Are you from Tennessee? Cuz you're the only 10 i see.

Is your daddy a baker? Cuz u got a nice set of buns.

ALL-TIME GREATEST ONE:

Do you work for UPS? Cuz I saw you checkin out my package.

haha! lates.

[theorangeone]

Originally posted by Greta
Can I get some fries with that shake?

"Love that Chewing Gum walk: Very Wrigley" - props to Ralph Wiggum - The Simpsons

can i get some fries with the shake shake booty if looks could kill you would be an uzi you're a shotgun bang watch out for that thang i wanna know how does it hang

i hang my head in shame that i know that much of that song, and that theres even more of that song that i won't type.

[Speedfreak]

I just made up a few..


Looking at you, I feel like Pinocchio. Why is that? Hard wood.

I am kind of like Pinocchio. How? I may lie to you but, it's not my nose that grows.


Would that work? Jenny? Crabbie? Tuvi? :D hehe

[Hrudey]

umm ok speed...back to the drawing board there bud...hehe jk

[irwin]

Girl, you're like the school track cuz you gimme the runs.
You must be a chicken farmer cuz you are so good at raising cocks
Girl I wanna make like Winnie the Pooh and stick myself into your honey
The word of the day is "LEGS", lets go to my place and spread the word.
If you were a booger..I'd pick you first.</
Were your parents terrorists?
*checks girl up and down*
Cause baby you're the BOMB!!!</
Love is a sensation;caused by a temptation;to feel penetration;a guy sticks his location;in a girls destination;to increase the population;for the next generation;did u get my explanation;or do u need a demonstration?
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.

[skunky]

I got one


"Damn girl you must have a keg in you cause I wanna tap that ass!!!

[attgig]

Originally posted by Passwird
[BMy love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in. [/B]

i like that one =)

how bout..

girl you're ugly....I like that in a girl.
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Is it a sin that you stole my heart?
Would you happen to know a woman I can love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me

[Grasshopper]

Hey you're hot!

I like you.

Mind if we play around a little?


-yup, they all work, don't ask me why

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by Speedfreak

You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way



Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
Hi. You'll do.
Hi. Are you legal?
Do you know how to use a whip?

Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna have sex?
You have been very naughty! Go to my room!
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? No. Oh, C'mon! Lower your standards a little. I did...

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?


[Edited by Speedfreak on 05-30-2001 at 01:40 AM]


HA HA HA HA
ROFL, i almost bent over laughing at work and people were looking at me funny :)

[ProMinx]

the lame or funny list:


* I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
* Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
* Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
* You're ugly but you intrigue me.
* (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
* Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
* If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
* "I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now." Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"


The promising lines:


* You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
* I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
* Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.


ProMinx the Stifmeister

[skunky]

I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight?

[Grimm]

Originally posted by skunky
I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight?

ROFLMAO

[DaFunkyUnit]

you and me baby, aint nothing but mammals...

[skunky]

Originally posted by evilcyclops

Originally posted by skunky
I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight?

ROFLMAO

What does that mean?

[Blu]

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me....please?


TBG

[Jenny]

Originally posted by skunky

Originally posted by evilcyclops

Originally posted by skunky
I lost my teddy bear will you sleep with me tonight?

ROFLMAO

What does that mean?

Rolling On the Floor Laughing My A** Off.

[TheLoneGunman]

Hey, baby, I manage Doom Society (http://doomsociety.tripod.com), wanna be my groupie?:

http://www.adultstaffing.com/search/default.cfm?task=OpenPositionDetail&OpenPositionID=2769

Note that the SPECIFIC link is not to anything bad, but if you go wandering off, I disclaim all responsibility.

[skunky]

You remind me of Frosted Flakes because you bring out the tiger in me.

[gwilks98]

Wanna see something swell?


If I told you I worshipped my body, would you embrace my religion?

My bologna has a first name: it's L-A-R-G-E!

[skunky]

You must be retarted because you sure are special.

[Speedfreak]

Originally posted by skunky
You must be retarted because you sure are special.

:hihi:

[mojo]

"how's my favorite cousin today?"
"how's my favorite 11th grader doing today?"
"how's my favorite 11th grade cousin doing today?"

:P

[DaFunkyUnit]

Originally posted by mojorisin
"how's my favorite cousin today?"
"how's my favorite 11th grader doing today?"
"how's my favorite 11th grade cousin doing today?"

:P

may i be bold to ask: How's your princess (--> :amidala: ) doing?

havent heard u mention her for awhile...

[bella]

You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without
me.
Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

[mojo]

Originally posted by DaFunkyUnit

may i be bold to ask: How's your princess (--> :amidala: ) doing?

havent heard u mention her for awhile...

she is doing well, actually. thanks for asking.

i havent mentioned her for a while cuz i figured that peeps were tired of me talkin about her. btw.....she IS of legal age :P

[ironchef]

*stand facing girl*

"Now let's get something straight between us"

*coyly look down at yer crotchal region*

ProMinx, they's some gooduns. Didn't think ya had it in ya ;)

[GoldFish]

is your father a thief? cuz he stole the stars from the skies and put them into your eyes...

[ProMinx]

Originally posted by ironchef

ProMinx, they's some gooduns. Didn't think ya had it in ya ;)

why would you think i didn't have it in me? i've never been one to disappoint when pick-up lines were concerner...and yes, I have been known to use a few here and there (just ask Twilight). Man...I miss when I used to be totally confident and successful. I would take a couple shots, then go wander Westwood, and end up back in my place the next morning with 3 or 4 phone numbers or addresses (for the record, women...please never give me your address as a replacement for phone number! i always feel that if i actually showed up, you'd think i was a stalker)...

ProMinx

[eSDee]

Originally posted by GoldFish
is your father a thief? cuz he stole the stars from the skies and put them into your eyes...

My buddy used this one at a supermarket one time to a girl in front of him at the line at the register. He almost shouted the first part to her, and as she looked back at him in horror he delivered the punch line. Needless to say, he didn't get any digits...

[El Scorcho]

Numba one pickup line:

B1TCH, GET DOWN 'N F*CK!

[ChrisMG187]

Nice Shoes.... Wanna ****?

[TheLoneGunman]

Would you like to Mountain Dew me?

(Works a bit better from girls to guys, but still)

[mojo]

"i'm a lieutenant on got|apex"

"would you like fries with that?"

"i know my boss is your husband, but..."

look her up and down, "ya, you'll do"

[brain]

Originally posted by GoldFish
is your father a thief? cuz he stole the stars from the skies and put them into your eyes...

Is your father a thief? Because he stole the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs.

*Bracing for flames and rocks thrown*

[DaFunkyUnit]

Originally posted by freakinfreak

Is your father a thief? Because he stole the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs.

*Bracing for flames and rocks thrown* [/B]


LOL :laugh:

for some strange/sick reason, i found it too funny

[coleslaw]

*Walk up to a girl just sitting down at the bar*

"May I push your stool in?"

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by coleslaw
*Walk up to a girl just sitting down at the bar*

"May I push your stool in?"

Ewwwwwww, dude that's just nasty, i never want to look at it from this point of view