Another great thread for women :)

[Jenny]

"15 Laws For Women To Live By"

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something - suggest they are too old for it.

10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

(ROFL OMG! So true!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^)

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

[oblongmelon]

and when in doubt-feed him dogfood :)

[Jenny]

funny obby! hehee

come back to the chatroom more often! :D

[Kim]

Too funny!

[hapoo]

Another great thread for women :)

whats with the man-bashing?

[Apex]

Originally posted by Jenny
"15 Laws For Women To Live By"

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.


Ah, if only they held to that and didn't bother to try all the time, eh? ;)

Kidding kidding, no one hunt me down and throttle me.

[oblongmelon]

Jen,
Don't worry, I've not forgotten about the chat room, I've been busy trying to get through this networking course and study for my Net+ exam..which btw I got a full version of the trancender exams today to study from.YIPPEEEE..let's hope I pass..I take it as soon as I get back from vacation right after the 4th of July..If I get a free minute I will stop in later-so long as NICEMANN is NOT parading around in those blue speedo's again. *grin*

[froggystyle]

how about the other way around

1. Don't imagine you can change a woman - unless you buy her alot of stuff

2. What do you do if your girlfriend walks out? You turn on the game

3. If they put a man on the moon - how come they havent sent any feminists up there to bitch at him

4. Never let your woman's mind wander - it might find the fridge

5. Go for younger women. You might as well - they take longer to age

6. woMen are all the same - they just have different size breasts, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a wife: a woman who found the opportunity to make some man miserable.

8. men don't make fools of women - they just like to embarass them a little

9. Best way to get a woman to do something - suggest they can loose weight doing it.

10. Love is blind - but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed woman - tie her to the bed

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. it probably wouldnt have been that long if the women didnt keep bitching at the men to go left when they sould have gone right

13. If she asks what sort of books you're interested in, hide your checkbooks

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, cause they're never funny.

(ROFL OMG! So true!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^)

15. Sadly, all men are created equal. and all women are created inferior



NOTE: this is just backlash against the super feminime versoin not to be taken any more seriously than the orriginal 15 :)

[CluelessSi]

hmm somehow the second set was not as funny :P

[zenbooty]

Bitter, angry people. You bring this all on yourselves...

[bella]

<< 10 great comebacks

#1
Man: Where have you been all my life ?
Woman: Hiding from you.


#2
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.


#3
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


#4
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.


#5
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.



#6
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.


#7
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised

#8
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.



#9
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?


#10
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

[bella]

WHY YELLING AT A MAN DOESN'T WORK

What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes
to wear if we don't do laundry right now!
What a man hears:

blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON
blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES
blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by hapoo

Another great thread for women :)

whats with the man-bashing?

*smacka*

stupid man. don't ask questions. :P

[bella]

Men are like.....Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
>
> Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
>
> Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
>
> Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
>
> Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
>
> Men are like.....Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get
> hard.
>
> Men are like.....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head
> right
> for your hips.
>
> Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up
>
> all night long.
>
> Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
>
> Men are like.....Department Stores. Their clothes are always half off.
>
> Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
>
> Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are
> usually
> wrong.
>
> Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
>
> Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
>
>
> Men are like.....Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many
> inches you'll get or how long it will last.
>
>
> Men are like.....Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright
>
> Men are like.....Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken and the rest
> are
> handicapped.
>

[hapoo]

froggystyle :heh:
Funny :)

hehe those first ones were good bella

[ArkiStan]

here's a good one:

women are like......:disa:

[chrissy]

LOL.. soon we won't need men or their toys! hehe
Medical advances...

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section
of the plane.
The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite
violently in her seat.

The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.
A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently
wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering. A few more
minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes
her nose and shudders violently again.

The man has finally had all he can handle.
He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed and three times
you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently!
Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy."
The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition
and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've
never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."

[ArkiStan]

some men don't need women either.....

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

[ArkiStan]

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, and he heard a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. Then the loud voice said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman.
He said "this person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."

Adam asked "What would a woman like this cost me??"

The answer was "an arm and a leg."

Adam then asked "What can I get for just a rib???"

The rest is history.

[chrissy]

Originally posted by ucbstan
some men don't need women either.....

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"



Rubbing it with sandpaper... guess he didn't last long...

[ArkiStan]

HAHA true...:D

[CluelessSi]

Originally posted by ucbstan
some men don't need women either.....

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"



...... not sure what it means but i don't think he will have fun much longer if he keeps doing what I think he is ... :heh:

[topane]

Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'
Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.
Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.
Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
Airplanes don't mind if you like to look at other airplanes.
Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
Airplanes expect to be tied down.
Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's a bad thing.

[bella]

http://www.geocities.com/jeni_82/asj001.jpg

[jujubees]

bella,

On your geocities site, change the file name to asj001.x

Change the link here to refer to the file as a .x

Share the antonio goodness! :D

[bella]

How about if I give you URL... um..hmmm. I'm sorta still learning
http://www.geocities.com/jeni_82/photos.html

[hapoo]

ughhh... women always treating men like a piece of meat :disa:






Can I be next??? :D

[bella]

Originally posted by hapoo





Can I be next??? :D [/B]

Hand over your picture :)

[chrissy]

Originally posted by hapoo
ughhh... women always treating men like a piece of meat :disa:






Can I be next??? :D


Hapoo, you know after K2, there is you! Come visit in the chat!!!

Silly boy!

[Jenny]

Originally posted by bella
How about if I give you URL... um..hmmm. I'm sorta still learning
http://www.geocities.com/jeni_82/photos.html

Oh damn! lol He is so hot! lol Some of those pics took my breath away. :) :D :P heheheh whew!

[jujubees]

A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you're doing?"

She says, "I just got my checkup, and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year old." She starts laughing and jumping again.

He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 45-year-old ass?"

She replied, "Your name never came up."

[Jenny]

There are 3 of us from the forums & chatroom that are starting a sister site to GotApex. Basically it will be GotApex for women. :) We know there are a lot of lurkers out there and a good portion of them are women. Keep looking and we'll let you know when it's up. Be sure and tell all your friends, too!

[chrissy]

1. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it
take to do the dishes? Both of them.

2. Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.

3. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

4. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They don't stop and ask for directions.

5. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.

6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds mature.

7. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.

9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and
good looking? They all already have boyfriends.

10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night?

A widow.

11. When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.

12. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

13. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.

14. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in
common?
They're married.

15.Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."