View Full Version : New Keep it Rollin....
oblongmelon
07-14-2001, 08:52 AM
It was a balmy night at the shore..TheLoneGunman and George Michaels were sharing an umbrella'd drink at the Vicars and Tarts Gathering at the Dancing Darlin's cafe when...
NEW RULE FOR THIS THREAD, 3 SENTENCE MINIMUM.
topane
07-14-2001, 09:21 AM
...all of the sudden a large object materialized out of thin air. It looked like a large, green, 40-foot...
stick of celery!! Oh no, this must be the new hyper-super-global-mega mutant evil vegetables that are plotting to....
Take over the world and do away with all the Vegitarians!
But here come the drug smuggling midgets in their space ship and the funny-looking yet just as dangerous circus monkeys on unicycles. The two mother ships coincidently landed on earth at the same time once they saw the human race being weakened by the celery. Then the humans...
george turns to tlg and says "wake me up before you go-go, mate." tlg glares at him and says, "you see that large celery...."
.. No I was too busy in this West Hollywood Bathroom with...
oblongmelon
07-14-2001, 08:08 PM
..that extrodinarly large tub of I CAN'T BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER and two liters of diet coke,making sure that every drop went..
...through a funnel and into my....
MrBehm
07-14-2001, 10:15 PM
Dru Down! Give it up give it up, give it to me...
...or i will have to replace you with......
bella
07-18-2001, 10:43 AM
.
ironchef
07-18-2001, 10:47 AM
.. bear claw. So I decided I would, just for the hell of it. I walked down to Dunkin Donuts and began to speak to the proprietor regarding...
DoPeY5007
07-18-2001, 10:59 AM
that itchy feeling I have...
DoPeY5007
07-18-2001, 11:06 AM
not to use whole milk and try non fat milk... So I go home and...
DizzyT
07-18-2001, 11:33 AM
say to George, hey, I've got this full gallon of non-fat milk, why dont we....
coleslaw
07-18-2001, 11:36 AM
each pour ourselves a bowl and teabag! Then we can...
go up to the bedroom and join in on the fun with the over-excited, humungous, man-eating...
topane
07-18-2001, 11:38 AM
...hop around on one foot while yodeling christmas carols and covering our heads with...
DoPeY5007
07-18-2001, 12:00 PM
those strange baloons that we have in the....
[Edited by dopey5007 on 07-18-2001 at 01:47 PM]
condom drawer. then we can call up sally struthers and......
wrkngirl
07-18-2001, 02:34 PM
crawl around under a cubicle and...
brain
07-18-2001, 02:40 PM
grab that bottle of lubricant so we can...
brain
07-18-2001, 02:53 PM
attempted to take a nap... However, they were horrified when they saw something in their bed. It was...
...ricky martin's dirty.....
old baseball underwear. smelling the stench of sweat and dried stains from...
brain
07-18-2001, 03:03 PM
potato that he likes to put in his crotch area. They then proceeded to...
....call mr martin to ask if he uses the potato for potato salad. they misdialed and got.....
bella
07-18-2001, 03:30 PM
the local brothel. Madam Lardy picks up the phone and says:
jujubees
07-18-2001, 03:34 PM
... in a truly Rainman-esque way ...
brain
07-18-2001, 03:45 PM
yeah.... definitely yeah. it's about $100 dollars... yeah... uh oh. uh oh... i need to...
get ready for charlie sheen....10 minutes to sheen...definitely...sheen....he likes to.......
[Edited by mojorisin on 07-18-2001 at 03:54 PM]
bella
07-18-2001, 03:55 PM
roll around in a tub of full of Vodka, but you can..
DoPeY5007
07-18-2001, 04:02 PM
watch if you would like. Unless you....
.....savor some of ricky martin's famous potato salad. it's made with.....
DizzyT
07-18-2001, 08:24 PM
Non-fat milk and celery and a lotta la vida loca sauce, which you can use to....
Grizybaer
07-19-2001, 10:12 AM
.. wash your hair and degrease engine parts on that old ...
DoPeY5007
07-19-2001, 10:53 AM
76' Ford maverick that you have in your...
jujubees
07-19-2001, 11:07 AM
... swimming pool, filled with grape-flavored ...
cruelpupet
07-19-2001, 11:52 AM
that you enjoy squishing between your toes.....So they made the potato salad and, thats when...
topane
07-19-2001, 01:15 PM
...a banana-wielding ex-midget named pedro unzipped his pants and pulled out a small red...
ironchef
07-19-2001, 01:19 PM
bottle of nail polish. "Would you like me to do your nails, Topane?" he asked, adding, "I'm very good. I apprenticed for 17 years under the meticulous eye of the European Nail Master, Sven. I even have a second-hand brush."
"Well, gee, I dunno.." replied Topane ...
jujubees
07-19-2001, 02:06 PM
... "ironchef's favorite color is green. He loves green so much that he painted his thin little ... "
[Edited by jujubees on 07-19-2001 at 02:13 PM]
...crack pipe that color to conceal it from the....
renots
07-19-2001, 02:45 PM
...thundering voice of jehovah, an ancient soul who just wanted to be loved but didn't quite know how to go about it. Moses shook his head and prayed for the old timer, as the sun came up over the green sea and...
Olomite
07-19-2001, 02:51 PM
turned him from his ugly ogre appearance back in to a ...
...spice girl. she wants to take you down, cuz she's going to.....
DeepTrout
07-19-2001, 03:02 PM
..great leapin' lizards, that was the largest frog calaveras county had ever seen. Samuel feverishly jotted notes in his dogeared journal as...
DaFunkyUnit
07-19-2001, 05:07 PM
Brisco County Jr. slaps Scary Spice on her...
DoPeY5007
07-19-2001, 05:38 PM
a$$ and says "Give it to me baby huh hu huh hu", so she...
Grizybaer
07-19-2001, 07:43 PM
went into her room and undressed while blasting "Pretty Fly for a white guy" when out of nowhere the boy in the red had appeared and ...
oblongmelon
07-19-2001, 07:48 PM
..started taking orders for rocky mountain oysters and big balls of cotton candy..yet out of the corner of his eye..he saw Ricky making sure that..
DoPeY5007
07-19-2001, 07:53 PM
we were eating his potato salad, but noticed...
...there was a butt plug in the....
DaFunkyUnit
07-19-2001, 10:06 PM
...gap between Madonna's front teeth. She pleaded to Brisco County Jr. "Please! Mr. County. Help me..."
renots
07-19-2001, 11:41 PM
...and whereby the fairy tale princess met her roquishly handsome prince, saved the kingdom and...
DoPeY5007
07-20-2001, 08:27 AM
dropped the butt plug in...
DaFunkyUnit
07-20-2001, 09:57 AM
...Ricky Martin's Vida Loca Potato Salad. "SHE BANGS!!!" he cries! "But we need celery!!! DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?!?" So he...
Olomite
07-20-2001, 10:01 AM
Says, "I've got it covered." and then he unzips his pants and whips out an enormous stalk of...
DoPeY5007
07-20-2001, 10:02 AM
crisp green celery.....So she asks and now why was that in your....
Olomite
07-20-2001, 10:27 AM
"I've got to have an alternative for the girls that don't eat meat. You wouldn't happen to have any ranch dressing so I could..."
DizzyT
07-20-2001, 10:59 AM
and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, appeared the large 40 ft stick of celery weilding the cover of the I Can't Believe It's not Butter and a Large carton of Non-Fat Milk
which it used to....
....post as "missing" the virginity of chuck manson's backside, which hasn't been seen since.....
DoPeY5007
07-20-2001, 02:46 PM
dip our....
Olomite
07-20-2001, 02:51 PM
chocolate covered grasshoppers that we stole from coldstone on a dare from...
...some guy holding some lutefisk. he said....
jujubees
07-20-2001, 04:31 PM
... "Wanna feel my lutefisk?" to which we smiled and replied ...
DaFunkyUnit
07-20-2001, 04:32 PM
..."I say cla-mah-to, you say cla-may-to"...
the REAL killer was colonel mustard, in the study, with.....
revil
07-21-2001, 03:40 AM
...the salad shooter. It's amazing how creative you need to be to...
eSDee
07-21-2001, 03:51 AM
...realize that the mustard you spilled on your scrotum can double for a...
oblongmelon
07-21-2001, 08:09 AM
...slightly imperfect cover up for teenie weenies...
topane
07-21-2001, 10:17 AM
...especially when they're disguised as ordinary...
7/11 big bites. george recognized this right away, as the juice was running down his eager...
DaFunkyUnit
07-21-2001, 02:13 PM
...throbbing...
....hand. he said, "hey, who put this teenie weenie in my...."
DoPeY5007
07-22-2001, 11:43 PM
milk to "dip" in. So I turn to
clutchy
07-23-2001, 02:41 AM
Bruce Campbell! who struts around and says "Hail to the King baby!", which doesn't help the...
Luxykin007
07-23-2001, 04:03 AM
situation because even if he had milk, it would take Jim Varney to use it properly to stop the hoard of monsters he faced, so instead he grabbed his boomstick...
DoPeY5007
07-23-2001, 12:42 PM
and tried to fly away on it, but....
visit uranus with the handle. he thought better of his interplanetary travel and decided to...
Luxykin007
07-24-2001, 07:35 AM
Turn his rage one TheLoneGunman. With the insane force of 12 elephants, that had WAY too much prune juice, he...
DaFunkyUnit
07-24-2001, 12:23 PM
...backed his ass up. He also did the bump n grind, the tootsie roll, and the macarena. Yes, he shook his bon bon, speaking of which...
DoPeY5007
07-24-2001, 01:19 PM
he forgot to do da dip, so he turned and...
DaFunkyUnit
07-24-2001, 01:27 PM
...grabbed TLG's mom, and "freaked her here, freaked her there, freaked her out of this atmosphere" and she cried out...
DoPeY5007
07-24-2001, 01:33 PM
"Give it to me baby hu huh hu huh", so he turned and...
topane
07-24-2001, 01:52 PM
...he realized it wasn't his butt which was moving, but his...
..old bandmate from wham!, andrew ridgeley. he grabbed andrew...
clutchy
07-25-2001, 02:11 AM
new avocado tree which produces a wide variety of supple, ripe...
Luxykin007
07-25-2001, 06:26 AM
and extremley rare rat testicle collection that he keeps very close to his...
...collection of spores, molds, and funguses at the back of the....
oblongmelon
07-25-2001, 12:03 PM
..Judy Garland/ Bette Midler dance hall in the middle of ....
topane
07-25-2001, 12:57 PM
...the only place on Earth that free-wheeling aboriginies could eat good iraqi gumbo. Yes, they were in the middle of...
ironchef
07-25-2001, 01:01 PM
Alice's Restaurant. "Andrew," the friendly proprietress began, "what ever happened to..."
Luxykin007
07-26-2001, 12:54 AM
calling ricky martins 14th youngest sister, which actually was his 2nd & 5th wives as well as his god-mother. Well as it turned out, Andrew had lost his phone during the "scuffle" with TLG's mom, so he asked Bruce if he could borrow...
...his gillian anderson inspired smart pumps, slacks, and blazer, so that he could go and interview....
DoPeY5007
07-26-2001, 04:40 PM
@ the local "BestBuy", so he goes....
...doogie howser soundtrack, he had the urge to...
Luxykin007
07-27-2001, 03:52 AM
kype the cd so he could take it home to make mp3's. but just as he was leaving the store, the security guard said to him...
topane
07-27-2001, 06:28 AM
..."So long, and thanks for all the ..."
DoPeY5007
07-27-2001, 08:43 AM
Wait is that A CD in your pocket, or are you happy to see me???... So he....
Speedfreak
07-28-2001, 01:40 AM
..gun and shot himeself in the head."
The End. :hihi:
oblongmelon
07-28-2001, 09:05 AM
But because of the fact the gel on his hair had dried to a stiff shiny mass..the bullet bounced off his head and went flying directly at the patrons on the other side of the Judy Garland /Bette Midler lounge..when all of a sudden !! the END was no longer the end..but the BEGINNING of a ...
DoPeY5007
07-28-2001, 12:05 PM
never ending story...
So then....
they realized that "the end" by the doors, was still playing in the background, and so they asked ice-9 to play some....
Speedfreak
07-29-2001, 01:29 AM
...Big Mac, but the cashier look at him very strangly..
and asked "le big mac?" to which he replied "ok then...royale with cheese." the clerk then replied....
Jenny
07-29-2001, 06:59 AM
No! You want onion rings! Onion rings only! Do you understand? Ice-9 was so shaken up by the cashier's attitude that he...
leemaj
07-29-2001, 01:24 PM
started to have a seizure, and pulled his hair so hard that it...
renots
07-29-2001, 06:18 PM
...made Jenny feel like she was back in private chat with horny ole ren. She checked to see if anyone ws around and reached into her special drawer to get...
Luxykin007
07-29-2001, 08:02 PM
a cougar magnum so she could pop a cap in defense minister miskin who was peeing in the bushes across the street. As she pulled out the gun she frantically yelled...
Jenny
07-29-2001, 08:50 PM
Beam me up, Scotty!
cargo plane full of shipments of scott brand toilet paper, to fullfill mass orders by got|apex members on a good deal tip from the deals forum. she cried....
johnnymk
07-30-2001, 10:33 AM
We don't need no steenking toilet paper!! We need...
hoey222
07-30-2001, 10:45 AM
cumquats, lots of them , especially if we are to face....
topane
07-30-2001, 10:51 AM
...the man whose name is not known to any yet they call him lord of all..
DaFunkyUnit
07-30-2001, 02:05 PM
...Sweatin' to the Oldies videos. Yes, Mr. Richard Simmons himself. Remembering what Jenny had said in a previous thread, he grabbed his "th-uper"...
johnnymk
07-31-2001, 05:18 AM
th-ized Happy Meal. Realzing that his clients might find out about his "Binge and Purge" method of losing weight, he stuffed his food into his pocketbook and ran outside of his studio. He looked across the street to discover that his old pal, Slick Willy was getting into a cab with....
Luxykin007
07-31-2001, 07:24 AM
howard stern and the pope who were sharing a bowl of...
topane
07-31-2001, 07:25 AM
...Captain Crunch cereal, which was illegally smuggled into the country by refugees from...
Jenny
07-31-2001, 08:45 AM
Never-Never Land, as Captian Crunch was OBVIOUSLY related to Captian Hook. So as the cab sped away...
Luxykin007
07-31-2001, 08:10 PM
an immense, steaming, pile of...
oblongmelon
07-31-2001, 08:39 PM
noodles ..that once graced the plate of PETERPAN AKA Randy Constan at the All-nite-diner with the big 'EAT ME' neon sign flashing near the ...
sho.gun
07-31-2001, 11:49 PM
go to a movie theater in order to get some change for a $5 bill. He looked up and saw the Now Playing: Planet of The Apes sign, with a great big smile he then...
johnnymk
08-01-2001, 07:09 AM
PeeWee Herman lookalike who said "Whatcha got there? Willy says....
Luxykin007
08-01-2001, 07:28 AM
he's wondering if you happen to have any cured buttermilk?" to which he replied...
DoPeY5007
08-01-2001, 09:14 AM
"yeah right here in my back....
...side. it makes a great lubricant for.....
topane
08-01-2001, 11:45 AM
...dry pumpkins which seem to be a problem in...
ironchef
08-01-2001, 11:49 AM
the giant pygmie population of eastern new zealand. you see, they believe that the more pumpkins a person can hold in his rear, the more juju that person aquires. not being one to poopoo on another's religion, i thought it best if i give it a whirl. so i bent over, opened the milk carton, and..."
inhaled some of that fresh, wholesome goodness into the ol' pooper scooper. turns out that dairy products do not keep well in warm, dark places, cuz.....
DoPeY5007
08-01-2001, 01:44 PM
it's just to hot, so....
topane
08-01-2001, 02:05 PM
...I was gonna clean up my room...
ironchef
08-01-2001, 02:05 PM
... but then i got high ...
aglio412
08-01-2001, 02:13 PM
and started pondering my future as an exotic male dancer...and how someday i'd marry bea arthur and buy that kia i've been checking out.
then snap, like a bolt of lightening it hit me...i'd
Grasshopper
08-01-2001, 02:26 PM
...counsel the little toads residing in a swanky underground pit of grasshoppers who suddenly exalt...
faither
08-01-2001, 06:47 PM
I'm too lazy to read the whole thread. What was this about, anyway???
Luxykin007
08-01-2001, 07:42 PM
Originally posted by Grasshopper
...counsel the little toads residing in a swanky underground pit of grasshoppers who suddenly exalt...
the LONG, LOST, turned Psycho-Midgit...
...chuck woolery, who had been turned into his current stature by none other than...
DoPeY5007
08-02-2001, 11:15 AM
the wicked witch of the west, he was so scared he...
Jenny
08-02-2001, 12:06 PM
quickly cured some buttermilk of his own and begin racing around the room screaming....
oblongmelon
08-02-2001, 01:04 PM
..GIVE ME LIBERTY! OR GIVE ME SOME OF PASSWIRDS'......
DaFunkyUnit
08-02-2001, 02:19 PM
...HOT LOVIN'!... I WANT SOME HOT STUFF...
Grasshopper
08-02-2001, 02:25 PM
...a solitary newt singing its last battle cry, "....
jujubees
08-02-2001, 02:50 PM
"Down with all the mini-Chuck Wooleries of the world! Down, down, down, into the dark, dank recesses of ..."
faither
08-02-2001, 06:18 PM
...Wink Martindaledom, within the Barker Galaxy...
Jenny
08-02-2001, 11:35 PM
visit the forums at Got|Apex? and check up on the deals for the free casino money. He found enough for $100 free cash and turned on his computer again to play when all of a sudden...
Luxykin007
08-03-2001, 07:44 AM
a little black thundercloud like in the cartoons swooped down over his house and shocked it, killing the power. When he went outside to investigate, he looked up and exclaimed (in a southern, inbred voice) what in tarrrnation is that big, black...
Jenny
08-03-2001, 09:03 AM
poofy thang? Oh my gawd, it's DarkFury's afro! He ran back inside to get his...
CluelessSi
08-03-2001, 09:12 AM
..Camera and Chain saw, then proceeded to climb his roof to try and ....
Grasshopper
08-03-2001, 09:18 AM
...pickle some yams, which have obviously been left there for the purposes of..
faither
08-03-2001, 03:48 PM
...defeating the evil empire and restoring...
...his squirrel collection to feed his fetish. "here, squirrely-squirrely," he called, as....
Luxykin007
08-03-2001, 08:11 PM
he extended his...
golf ball scooper that had been rigged to...
johnnymk
08-04-2001, 03:29 PM
the Taco Bell dog's tail. But when the chihuahua saw all of those squirrels, he....
faither
08-04-2001, 05:17 PM
thought about ending the thread, but...
Jenny
08-04-2001, 05:27 PM
he got so nervous and excited that he pooped out a great big, ugly looking, freaky...
Luxykin007
08-04-2001, 06:28 PM
CLONE OF THELONEGUNMAN!!!!! It wriggled and shook violently while foaming from the mouth as it tried to get used to this new environment. Once it's eyes adjusted, it turned and looked at the exploded taco bell dog now lying lifeless on the rooftop. It knelt down and cried out "...
eep, opp, ork, ah-ah. that means, "i love you." it then rolled off the roof, tangled in squirrels-on-a-rope, and landed on...
[Edited by mojorisin on 08-05-2001 at 01:11 PM]
DaFunkyUnit
08-04-2001, 10:49 PM
TLG's mom, who at the time was...
IrishSS
08-05-2001, 12:43 AM
...too busy picking out her ingrown back hairs to notice so she...
oblongmelon
08-05-2001, 09:03 AM
..rolled her adult sized tricycle down to the boardwalk, where lo and behold Ricky Martin was now...
spewing toxic fumes into the ozone with his rendition of dylan's "all along the watchtower," adding to it his special....
Grasshopper
08-05-2001, 05:33 PM
...tome of crapulence, a well guarded family secret, passed on from his two fathers...
weird al yankovich to see about their upcoming duet...
johnnymk
08-06-2001, 06:09 AM
performance at Pet World. After singing the ever popular "Fleas All I Ever Had", the.....
Luxykin007
08-06-2001, 07:39 AM
two of them split up. Rickey went to the dollar store across the street and shoplifted some brittany spears cd's while AL jacked the store owners minivan and...
IrishSS
08-06-2001, 07:51 AM
just hit the east side of the LBC, on a mission trying to find Mr. Warren G...
faither
08-06-2001, 09:30 AM
Passwird. He was mumbling something about a great Staples deal and some Guiness Record having to do with his head on different bodies. Confused, I...
Jenny
08-06-2001, 09:32 AM
grabbed the portable cd player from him that he just HAPPENED to be carrying, and ran as fast as I could. I turned the corner and bumped into...
[Edited by Jenny on 08-06-2001 at 02:55 PM]
oblongmelon
08-06-2001, 03:05 PM
..the Miller Brothers, who were flouncing around in glittery evening dresses near the corner phone waiting for...
the approaching peter pan with passwird's head! that freaked me out, so i ran as fast as i could toward...
apmiller
08-06-2001, 03:14 PM
GOD, who for some reason was wearing a rather nice pink dress. He told me "Boy those Miller boys sure can dress can't they?" I was shock and confused by all of this but felt it would be wrong to question GOD's sanity so I turned to head towards...
Grasshopper
08-06-2001, 03:15 PM
...a cold, warm sack of infinite impossiblities. The theorem evaded him. Just what was contained in the overall composition of the...
dense gray matter that was passwird's brain had also enmeshed with society's water supply and caused...
Luxykin007
08-06-2001, 09:58 PM
regester for a free toothpaste sample using the got deals forum on Got Apex... So as he was rushing towards the nearest public internet access terminal, he tripped and hit his head. When he awoke...
DoPeY5007
08-06-2001, 09:59 PM
Passwird was giving him "mouth-to-mouth", so he threw him off and begain to...
cruelpupet
08-07-2001, 01:43 AM
...freak out since that little tounge was all over his mouth. A few hours later when he clamed down, he decided to go...
to the mirror to look at his teeth. turns out that he, too, had passwird's head on his body, so he....
Grasshopper
08-07-2001, 12:21 PM
...jumped off the nearest window, as he got sick of hearing passwird mentioned in every post. As he fell, he said "off to better things" and dreamed of the handsome and mysterious Grasshopper that many a person dreamed of. When he finally hit the ground with a vibrant 'splat'...
apmiller
08-07-2001, 12:58 PM
George Lucas giggling and talking to himself ,"Those fools! No matter what stupid name I think of they will spend millions on the stupid picture! I'll then rule the WORLD! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
Not knowing what the heck that has to do with anything in this tale he thinks it's best to move on so he wonders off down the road thrying to think of something to do when he realizes he has wondered into a dark ally, and to his suprise he sees...
DaFunkyUnit
08-07-2001, 01:17 PM
Marky Mark and the Funky bunch along with the Chimpanzee Yankees, who, after re-enacting the Civil War, were...
oblongmelon
08-07-2001, 01:33 PM
...all being fitted for green spandex pixie outfits and latex masks that looked exactly like Passwird..when all of A SUDDEN!...
Grasshopper
08-07-2001, 01:48 PM
...a resounding staccato from the reenactment guns as they pound oblongmelon into nothingness for mentioning passwird. Grasshopper is the new ruler now, as his loyal clientele bow down in....
(To Moderator: I was merely joking, I wouldn't think that passwird nor oblongmelon would take this seriously. However, I do see how you could come to the conclusion that I'm crapping ON threads, and that shall be duly noted, and I whilst refrain from demeaning the lovely passwird. good day. http://www.gotapex.com/forums/images/smilies/banghead.gif)
[Edited by Grasshopper on 08-07-2001 at 04:44 PM]
apmiller
08-07-2001, 01:48 PM
total awe! But then out of no where aliens come and take the Grasshopper away. Our hero who is very confused swears off hard liquor and heads to the local AA office. On the way he encounter a strange little man who tells him…
[Edited by apmiller on 08-07-2001 at 01:53 PM]
Got Apex Moderator
08-07-2001, 02:57 PM
Grasshopper, do not start to crap on threads or you will be banned. You have now been warned.
DoPeY5007
08-07-2001, 03:26 PM
"Take me to your leader" so he
takes them to none other than welfareloser. they are curious as to why the leader has such a name, and she explains that it is to throw off the would be assassins, as she....
Sir_Froggy
08-08-2001, 12:14 AM
have plastic surgery then take off to another part of the country and start all over so then nobody will know who or what she was then a guy said "Hey your that lady! that i don't know!"
figuring out this guy was crazy she just turned around and walked away when she bumped into...
topane
08-08-2001, 07:32 AM
...Christopher Walken, who was wearing a bright pink...
Luxykin007
08-08-2001, 07:37 AM
A nuclear powered cyborg razorback boar that had managed to escape from the local division of secret wepons research. It had been developed by the Regan administration in order to plauge the russian farmers in case the cold war fired up again. Now it was on a despirate rampage, when suddenly it turned directly into our hero's path and...
Luxykin007
08-08-2001, 07:38 AM
(LOL crap, topand and i posted ours at the same time... i guess it's a choose your own adventure... sorry)
bella
08-08-2001, 10:47 AM
crunchy cheetos looking thing that all of sudden...
Nanotech9
08-08-2001, 11:06 AM
...grew little feet, arms, and a head that looked a lot like...
Jenny
08-08-2001, 11:24 AM
Passwird! The radioactive piglet got so frightened that he picked up the Passwird looking cheeto, took a bite, chewed, and said, "It tastes like..."
DoPeY5007
08-08-2001, 11:47 AM
chicken...
why does everything have to tase like chicken???...
so he then....
decided to wash it down with some passwird-brand vodka, which also tasted like chicken. he figured that the chicken taste was in his mind, so he checked into the psych ward and ran into....
johnnymk
08-08-2001, 03:33 PM
his old roommate from college, Swami Salami. Swami told him he has a recipe using Biff? and grasshoppers.. He said it was some kind of Biff stew. " Wait a minute, I always thought...
purpledemon
08-08-2001, 03:51 PM
swami's were vegetarian ...
or ..
maybe ...
DoPeY5007
08-08-2001, 04:02 PM
it was just the vodka kik'n in. So he pours him self a shot for the hell of it and...
all the passwird-lookin things started to look like grasshoppers. he cried, "why can't things look like...."
Sir_Froggy
08-08-2001, 11:27 PM
a whole bunch of russians demanding back their vodka!
quickly he ran out the window and fell on a heap of....
Luxykin007
08-09-2001, 03:43 AM
fiberglass strands. As he helplessly tried to escape, a little hermaphrodite kid in a wheel chair was rolling around muttering something about...
Nanotech9
08-09-2001, 05:37 AM
...swallowing the blue pill, and that he shouldn't have listened to the men in dark sunglasses. As he was trying to imagine what may have happened if he had swallowed the red pill, one of the 34 DD boobies that was flying around...
oblongmelon
08-09-2001, 05:50 AM
..that did Not belong to the infamous Oblongmelon contrary to popular belief that she was pulverized in an earlier thread...but yet to..
bella
08-09-2001, 09:24 AM
Tyra Banks, who in reality was a "fembot" out to get passwird and his...
Grasshopper
08-09-2001, 09:28 AM
..magic sack of beans, which have recently sprouted a green stem. Of course this was a shock to the many a loyal male fan, as the sack of beans gave them strength to...
purpledemon
08-09-2001, 10:45 AM
... a gun-slingin, hat-sportin, whip-swingin, mechanical bull ridin stripper that poured him a shot of jaeger and asked him whether ...
Sir_Froggy
08-09-2001, 11:57 AM
or not he was going to pay him and if not then to get out of his bar ricky decided to run away because he was a chicken and he was cheap and didn't want to pay for his drink or pay the man for the show
when he walked out the door he ran into someone he thought he would never see again it was...
DaFunkyUnit
08-09-2001, 02:25 PM
...TLG's mom, who was holding a huge bottle of ear medicine in her hands and an ear of corn between her legs because...
apmiller
08-09-2001, 02:35 PM
she wanted to make sweet freaky love!
With the incredible sight of pure hell in front of him our hero only sees one posible way out! So he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a...
DoPeY5007
08-09-2001, 02:52 PM
open but not used codom and says....
bella
08-09-2001, 02:58 PM
"Man I hope nobody was messing with this, I wanted to use it as a water balloon and...."
it seems to smell used. oops, that was just my hand. ok, now to fill it with water and......
Luxykin007
08-10-2001, 07:49 AM
smear it with...
peanut butter, so that i can throw it at the....
purpledemon
08-10-2001, 08:15 PM
one eyed snake who ...
brain
08-10-2001, 08:28 PM
Passwird who was sucking on the toe of GilbertsGrape. All of a sudden... Doomer came out of nowhere screaming that...
Sir_Froggy
08-11-2001, 01:53 AM
"how could u suck gilbertsgrape's toes??"
"ur supposed to suck mine!"
"no" said gilbertsgrape "he's mine now!! MWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"
doomer couldn't take this so he challenged gilbertsgrape into a duel which they fought with...
Luxykin007
08-11-2001, 07:44 AM
ice cream scoopers and cat litter pans. they soon realized the futility of their weapons of seige and going old school river city ransom style, doomer...
clicked his ruby....er....silver slippers and said "there's no place like home." turns out that "home" wasn't much better, as doomer now faced a rabid.....
brain
08-11-2001, 01:44 PM
Tarepanda! IntegraTypeR came running out to tame the beast with a wet noodle. But alas...
Sir_Froggy
08-11-2001, 05:03 PM
Tarepanda just sat on and farted on integratyper poisioning the man
he was rushed to the hospital on passwird's helicopter that came from nowhere, but integratyper slipped out of the helicopter, but luckily a.....
brain
08-11-2001, 08:20 PM
She was not a 'he' at all. IntegraTypeR is a girl. The tarepanda was aghast to find the one that he was cuddling with all these years was female. He then decided to go to a bar and bury his sorrows with sake soaked bamboo shoots. He look to the door a few minutes later and...
Luxykin007
08-11-2001, 08:36 PM
out of nowhere came doc brown from 'back to the future' in his time machine. it was screaming at 88 mph and crashed to a halt in an enourmous...
pile of foamy shaving cream during one of thems commercials. it was not enough to stop the time travel, tho, as they found themselves all the way back in the day when chevy chase was still funny. yes, it was...
Jenny
08-12-2001, 07:12 AM
the Got Apex Moderator! *gasp* Now that his secret identity has been revealed...
Luxykin007
08-12-2001, 07:37 AM
he won't actually have the power to ban siph, but wait, that already happened. So instead he did something he could, and that was to...
play patty-cake with jessica rabbit. of course, this may have been his undoing, as roger rabbit, with his ill temper, dropped a....
Nanotech9
08-12-2001, 02:19 PM
...energizer battery (his spare - just in case he "stopped going") on the...
Sir_Froggy
08-12-2001, 04:20 PM
coco cola polar bears.
they all chased roger rabbit and when they caught him they threw him in a big tank filled with...
harry potter books. it seems that the rabbit now had some reading to do. he didn't want to read them all, so he just went to the cliff notes section of the nearest...
renots
08-12-2001, 05:37 PM
...hospital maternity ward to see his beautiful wife and her wondrous new daughter which he was going to help raise. Roger was so happy he shot up right through the ceiling and...
Sir_Froggy
08-12-2001, 11:06 PM
he could become a real boy! but then he lied to the fairy and his nose became longer and longer until it hit...
Luxykin007
08-13-2001, 07:48 AM
nothing. Somehow it had exploded at such a great rate of speed it was able to break earth's gravity. Suddenly a man walked out of a nearby coffee shop and was playing "stairway to heaven" on guitar, that's when that ants took it literally and began to climb rodgers schnoz into outer space. Things were looking up for the ants until they got like 3 miles up and encountered...
faither
08-13-2001, 09:58 AM
Marvin the Martian. He was looking for all the wandering 'Toons. As diligently as he searched, all he came upon was...
attgig
08-13-2001, 10:32 AM
A picture of Ichiro Suzuki nude. So he went to the Japanese Paparazzi but instead of getting his $2million dollars, they gave him...
a "columbian necktie." fortunately, it was an actual tie from columbia. glad he still had his life, he proceeded to...
Sir_Froggy
08-13-2001, 05:09 PM
buy a box of cigars
he decided to invite some friends from the bar
so all of them including passwird joined him
when they got back to roger's place they found that...
the midget jello-spa orgy had already started, so they immediately....
welfareloser
08-13-2001, 09:38 PM
pulled out their extra-large krazy-straws, sticking one end in the jello and the other end up their noses so they could...
Speedfreak
08-13-2001, 11:46 PM
a big Afro. They knew then who was standing there, it was..
BrewMaster
08-14-2001, 12:03 AM
Richard Simons tweaked out on crank. But luckily he...
had just agreed to play the role of noel redding, bass player for the jimi hendrix experience, in some off-beat play. richard realized that he only got the role because someone wanted to make a hendrix reference to his 'fro, and didnt mind cuz he was running out of.....
BigJon
08-14-2001, 05:40 AM
spam . . . he only had three cans left. At the rate he was eating them he would be empty-handed in 5 minutes tops. Suddenly though, something began to happen . . . his stomach began to churn . . . The people in the jello-spa orgy winced in anticipation, waiting for it to happen. Then suddenly, with a loud bang . . .
Burzhui
08-14-2001, 06:01 AM
... history was created threafter known as the fart heard around the world, and the children started crying and birds colapsed breathless on the cold soil of venus and earth alike, and everything turned black, and the stock market crashed, and comlete and utter chaos has begun, and all was lost or so we thought until....
welfareloser
08-14-2001, 06:07 AM
president bush came to his senses, remembered exactly how much fun he had in college, and LEGALIZED DA HEMP! Suddenly, life on earth seemed happier for all, until...
welfareloser
08-14-2001, 08:59 AM
sewer rats. not quite as crunchy, but pleasantly salty. then P.E.T.A. ...
Burzhui
08-14-2001, 10:55 AM
Said we've had enough, went to the NRA and bought guns... they said "Whoa, we need guns... lots of 'em" and the NRA said "First you take the red pill"... and then 3-4 blue pills depending on how well the red pill works... and the P.E.T.A armed with guns and heads of lettuce, and several tomatoes went forth to....
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