Hi, I'm a stupid moron. Please work for me

[TheLoneGunman]

I received this email today. It is reproduced unedited. What would you do? (yes, I live in Silicon Valley, CA and not PA)

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Subject: I received your resume from a job position!!

Dear TLG,

I received your resume today from a job of mine form a recruiter you
worked with several time within [My Pathetic Recruiting Company]. They are looking for
your skills and need a person who has VB, JAVA and White Box testing! I
wanted to talk with you further regarding your job search. I know you were
looking and the position I am working on is in Lansdowne, PA for a very
well established company. Thank you for your interest, I appreciate your
time. I know you are busy and will be occupied at work during the day, but
it is important that I have the chance to talk with you on the phone if you
are interested. I can accommodate your schedule if you identify a time that
would be good for you to talk. You can also call me at the toll free number
listed below if that is easier. Thank you for your time and I look forward
to your response. Have a good day!!

Best Regards,

Ima Dorkus
My Pathetic Recruiting Company]
Austin Branch Office
512-331-xxxx
512-331-xxxx
[email protected]

[mojo]

i would rather work for a smart moron

[Twilight]

There's always the chance that english is his second language. It probably wouldn't hurt to call his 1-800 number and see what he's offering to pay you.

[TheLoneGunman]

Originally posted by Twilight
There's always the chance that english is his second language. It probably wouldn't hurt to call his 1-800 number and see what he's offering to pay you.

Uhm, what 800 number????

That was one of the many jokes in the letter.

There was NO 800 number! :heh:

[LPMiller]

I'd rather have a stupid boss that pays well than a smart one that....the hell am I saying, at this point, I just want a boss and a paycheck.

[pennypinch]

Originally posted by LPM
I'd rather have a stupid boss that pays well than a smart one that....the hell am I saying, at this point, I just want a boss and a paycheck.

If you were willing to move out to California, I guaran-fucking-tee you a job as the head of our IT department. I don't even know what you can do, but you seem to be sentient; that's more than I can say for the baboons that man the place now. So long as you can take a computer out of the box, plug it in, and not have it crash every few minutes, you're hired!

Christ, I'm quite convinced that all of these guys were trained off the back of a matchbook. I'm sure I'll receive all sorts of whiney replies saying "Oh, you don't know what it's like being an IT help guy and having to deal with *******s like you!" Yeah, well, deal with it. If things didn't remain f'ed up after I gave you a specific list of things to fix, I wouldn't yell at you, now would I?

[Markel]

Originally posted by TheLoneGunman
I received this email today. It is reproduced unedited.

Based on your stating that the letter is unedited, I personally wouldn't be likely to pursue a job opportunity from Ima Dorkus at My Pathetic Recruiting Company. I dunno, but working with even legitimate headhunters can be bad enough.

:)

[Burzhui]

i don't care if he "no engles speaky" at all, as long as he pays well

[TheLoneGunman]

So, I call this lady...

She isn't in today :( but from her voice mail she sounds very cockasian to me

Anyway, PP, I live in California and I need a job. I even like bananas and have lots of hair so I will get along with the other baboons. Please hire me.

Markel - "The story is real, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent"

[Markel]

Originally posted by TheLoneGunman

Markel - "The story is real, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent"
I knew that. :) I just had to comment on the "unedited" statement (which obviously was not quite the way it was).

On second thought, why protect such a one??? Maybe we need to be protected by seeing the real names (unless you're worried about someone grabbing your potential dream job). :)

[pennypinch]

Originally posted by TheLoneGunman
So, I call this lady...

She isn't in today :( but from her voice mail she sounds very cockasian to me


Good lord, forget headhunting! She could make a goddamn fortune on the phone sex lines!!