Because I'm a Gal?

[Lady In Red]

Because I'm a gal, I don't need the television remote control - I have to have the VCR remote so that I can fast forward through the commercials in the soaps I recorded. If I can't find the remote, I will sit patiently through most of the commercial, then get frustrated and get up and manually fast forward through the last 2 seconds.

Because I'm a gal, when I lock my keys in the car I will call my husband who is 3 hours away. If he won't come and fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and instead suggests that we call a road service then I will divorce him - well at least threaten to. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will complain about how my husband won't work on it for me. This weekend I persuaded him to change the oil and Wednesday my headlight went out - I know he only did that to get out of changing my oil next time.

Because I'm a gal, I have the right to be a witch one week every month. Yes a full 25% of the time I have the right to be as hateful and rude as I want and totally uncaring about you - in fact, I know that somehow you are to blame for this. If you are not completely tolerant of me I will tell the whole world what an uncaring jerk you are with no understanding. You never get sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a gal, I expect to be able to rely on you to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread, or Cumin, or Tofu.

Because I'm a gal, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on you fixing it. If you want to call a repair man that's ok, but for a little bit more $ we could get a new one! In fact, don't even bother with it, I don't want to clean up your mess, and a repair man is too expensive - I'll just run downtown and get a new one, where's the checkbook?

Because I'm a gal, I know WE are lost because I am lost, I don't care that you think you know where you are at. I am positive we should stop and ask someone, but don't even think about asking ME to go in that gas station and ask a stranger for anything, much less directions! And put that map away, you can't drive and look at that map - Oh no, don't give it to me, you know I don't know how to read those things.

Because I'm a gal, there is no need to give beyond a one word answer when I ask what you are thinking about. I only asked to open conversation so that I can tell you what I am thinking about.

Because I'm a gal, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is just fine with me - YOU DID WHAT?!? You never got one of those for me!! I'm leaving! When you get ready to apologize, I'll be at Moms.

Because I'm a gal, I am capable of repeating the story (at your family reunion) about how you and your buddies go get drunk and stay out all night. I can repeat this story every year and tell it so as it sounds like a new event even if it did only happen once 5 years ago. If you so much as open your mouth while I am telling the story I will blurt out something like - OH, ARE YOU DENYING IT? TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!

Because I'm a gal, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. If it had Arnold Swarzenegger or the like in it - I didn't like it and I can't believe you did, in fact I am mad at you for liking it. And if I am crying at the end of it, I did like it and you BETTER have liked it too.

Because I'm a gal, yes, I have to turn up the radio when the latest pop sensation tune comes on. And yes it is a must that I buy the tape, wear out the one song, and then clutter the glove box and console with the worthless piece of junk. I'm tired of it for a while, but you better not take it out of my car, or even think about throwing it away. This process is best carried out in conjunction with the 8 hr vacation drive. By the time we get to the beach, he will go along with whatever I want. For the next few days he will care about nothing but getting that stupid tune out of his head, then we can return home (with a new pop sensation picked up at the beach gift shop at twice the $).

Because I'm a gal, I think what you're wearing is fine - even though you didn't ask. I thought what you were wearing the other day would look better though. No, no, no, I don't like that either, here put this on.

Because I'm a gal and this is, after all, in 2001, I will share equally in the housework. You mow the lawn, paint the house, fix the plumbing, add some more outlets, and do exactly as I say to the landscaping and flower bed, and I'll get a cleaning lady to fix up the house while I run to town. Oh, don't get carried away digging those holes for the azaleas, you keep an eye on the kids, they'll be in the street before you know it.

[Lady In Red]

Originally posted by chosenfool
wow, a female version of the old renots! those long posts...:)
welcome, L.I.R.!
OK! I'll try and cut "da" post shorter! :P

[Kenas]

Originally posted by Lady In Red

OK! I'll try and cut "da" post shorter! :P

That would be cool, i sometimes get sick of reading long posts :) but that is fine. If it is interesting, it makes not difference.

[hapoo]

*sigh*
I can relate to almost every single one of those. Any women wish to give their side of the story?

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by Lady In Red
[BBecause I'm a gal, there is no need to give beyond a one word answer when I ask what you are thinking about. I only asked to open conversation so that I can tell you what I am thinking about. [/B]

Wow how true is this one? they all are true but this one really takes the cake

[welfareloser]

not funny. if i knew a girl like that, i would just kick her til she bled. why would anyone put up with that? maybe i'm just wierd, but i read that and i am incapable of finding it funny, it just pisses me off...

[g222leav]

you're a gal?

[Lady In Red]

Originally posted by welfareloser
not funny. if i knew a girl like that, i would just kick her til she bled. why would anyone put up with that? maybe i'm just wierd, but i read that and i am incapable of finding it funny, it just pisses me off...
Here----have a "Chill Pill"!! :D

Always remember that some of us ladies can kick back also, and it's better to be piss off than to be piss on!! :)

[johnnymk]

fraid' I'll have to agree with welfareloser on this(What's the world coming to?)..... Some women think that double standards only apply to men.

[mojo]

Originally posted by Lady In Red

Here----have a "Chill Pill"!! :D

Always remember that some of us ladies can kick back also, and it's better to be piss off than to be piss on!! :)

i didnt think it was too funny either. i know some ladies that are very much ladies, but that dont consider themselves all helpless and such. that has to be degrading on some level. a few points were fine, but to keep going like that....

[oblongmelon]

Originally posted by Lady In Red
Because I'm a gal, I don't need the television remote control - I have to have the VCR remote so that I can fast forward through the commercials in the soaps I recorded.

REAL WOMEN don't have time to sit and watch soaps. They are too busy having a life.

Because I'm a gal, when I lock my keys in the car I will call my husband who is 3 hours away. If he won't come and fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and instead suggests that we call a road service then I will divorce him - well at least threaten to. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will complain about how my husband won't work on it for me. This weekend I persuaded him to change the oil and Wednesday my headlight went out - I know he only did that to get out of changing my oil next time.
May I suggest auto mechanics 101. I've been known to drop in a new alternator in 8 minutes flat while my hub held the wrench.
Glad to know you enjoy being screwed over by the road service guy. Carry an extra set of keys in a magnetic box attached to the underside of your bumper. Or in your dainty little gucci purse that I'm sure you go no where without.

Because I'm a gal, I have the right to be a witch one week every month. Yes a full 25% of the time I have the right to be as hateful and rude as I want and totally uncaring about you - in fact, I know that somehow you are to blame for this. If you are not completely tolerant of me I will tell the whole world what an uncaring jerk you are with no understanding. You never get sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.
I don't need a menstrual cycle to have an excuse to be a bitch. REAL WOMEN can be bitchy whenever and for how ever long they want to be. And anyone that doesnt like it can PISS OFF.

Because I'm a gal, I expect to be able to rely on you to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread, or Cumin, or Tofu.

REAL women would RATHER grocery shop themselves instead of sending a husband who would come back with a gallon of 8 dollar Organic Goats milk instead of the skim or 1% thats on sale for a buck 30 a gallon. REAL WOMEN SAVE MONEY.

Because I'm a gal, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on you fixing it. If you want to call a repair man that's ok, but for a little bit more $ we could get a new one! In fact, don't even bother with it, I don't want to clean up your mess, and a repair man is too expensive - I'll just run downtown and get a new one, where's the checkbook?
Yeh, cause it's so much easier to buy a 500 dollar stove than replacing a 20 dollar burner coil. Get real.

Because I'm a gal, I know WE are lost because I am lost, I don't care that you think you know where you are at. I am positive we should stop and ask someone, but don't even think about asking ME to go in that gas station and ask a stranger for anything, much less directions! And put that map away, you can't drive and look at that map - Oh no, don't give it to me, you know I don't know how to read those things.
REAL WOMAN don't get lost because they aren't afraid to ask for help. Nor would one hesitate to jump at the chance for humiliation of their man by asking someone for directions. We also use the rest rooms at gas stations no matter how dirty. If ya gotta go ya gotta go..

Because I'm a gal, there is no need to give beyond a one word answer when I ask what you are thinking about. I only asked to open conversation so that I can tell you what I am thinking about.
Since all men think only about is SEX is there any need for more than one word? How many sentences does it take to explain Menage et` toi.?

Because I'm a gal, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is just fine with me - YOU DID WHAT?!? You never got one of those for me!! I'm leaving! When you get ready to apologize, I'll be at Moms.
Mother in laws are nice people. They put up with you marrying their sons. I wish mine was still alive.

Because I'm a gal, I am capable of repeating the story (at your family reunion) about how you and your buddies go get drunk and stay out all night. I can repeat this story every year and tell it so as it sounds like a new event even if it did only happen once 5 years ago. If you so much as open your mouth while I am telling the story I will blurt out something like - OH, ARE YOU DENYING IT? TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!
If all you have to discuss for five years is your husband getting drunk with his friends maybe you should contemplate getting a real life. Or better yet, have a few beers with him. REAL WOMEN can CHUG.

Because I'm a gal, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. If it had Arnold Swarzenegger or the like in it - I didn't like it and I can't believe you did, in fact I am mad at you for liking it. And if I am crying at the end of it, I did like it and you BETTER have liked it too.
Let me guess. You didn't like Kindergarten Cop. I never go to the movies with my husband. We have entirely different tastes. Sounds like you are looking for pinnochio and not a husband. After all, puppets do make good bedfellows. eh?

Because I'm a gal, yes, I have to turn up the radio when the latest pop sensation tune comes on. And yes it is a must that I buy the tape, wear out the one song, and then clutter the glove box and console with the worthless piece of junk. I'm tired of it for a while, but you better not take it out of my car, or even think about throwing it away. This process is best carried out in conjunction with the 8 hr vacation drive. By the time we get to the beach, he will go along with whatever I want. For the next few days he will care about nothing but getting that stupid tune out of his head, then we can return home (with a new pop sensation picked up at the beach gift shop at twice the $).

It's hell being hip when you are old enough to use oil of olay and can buy your own T-BILLS. The Beatles are gone sister-If you're screaming like a teeny bopper, I suggest you get a quick reality check.REAL WOMEN GO TO WOODSTOCK AND ENJOY THEMSELVES,after all, a once or twice in a lifetime event is far more satisfying than making some fat cat record producing pedephile mogal richer than he already is by buying up cheap mass produced tapes.

Because I'm a gal, I think what you're wearing is fine - even though you didn't ask. I thought what you were wearing the other day would look better though. No, no, no, I don't like that either, here put this on.
RIGHTTTTTT. I barely have enough time to dress myself. In fact, my husband dresses better than me on most days to begin with. You see. I have MORE IMPORTANT things to worry about than clothes..as most REAL WOMEN DO.

Because I'm a gal and this is, after all, in 2001, I will share equally in the housework. You mow the lawn, paint the house, fix the plumbing, add some more outlets, and do exactly as I say to the landscaping and flower bed, and I'll get a cleaning lady to fix up the house while I run to town. Oh, don't get carried away digging those holes for the azaleas, you keep an eye on the kids, they'll be in the street before you know it.

Enjoy shopping. You'll have alot of time once he dumps you for that 25 year old landscaper.

PS..REAL WOMEN DO NOT ENJOY BEING CALLED 'GAL'S ..We gave that up when cowboys went out of style in the old west.

[Kim]

:thumbdown

[BrewMaster]

Originally posted by chosenfool
no no no, it's OK! i was actually reminiscing those long posts from renots (and no, that wasnt sarcastic either - i personally like long posts :))

Long posts are cool if they actually have something to say. Decide for yourself on this one, I am not passing judgement on it.

[Jenny]

whew! geez... lol I don't know why, but I thought this was a joke that she posted?? Am I wrong? hehehehe oh well.

[mojo]

Originally posted by Jenny
whew! geez... lol I don't know why, but I thought this was a joke that she posted?? Am I wrong? hehehehe oh well.

ya, the joke is that some females will propagate stuff like this, then later on complain that they are treated like objects or less than human

[Jenny]

Originally posted by mojorisin
ya, the joke is that some females will propagate stuff like this, then later on complain that they are treated like objects or less than human

You know, that's true. And isn't that sad? I hate women that act like that joke. But that is part of why I guess I found it kind of humorous. :)

[theorangeone]

It seemed to me to be a joke, and not something to be taken seriously. I laughed at a few things in there that reminded me of different women that I know.

[topane]

WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO F**KING SENSITIVE LATELY?

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by Lady In Red

Here----have a "Chill Pill"!! :D

Always remember that some of us ladies can kick back also, and it's better to be piss off than to be piss on!! :)

a chill pill doesn't make that funny.

and the "ladies" you described above would NOT be capable of kicking back.

and i know it was a joke. i was just saying i dint find it funny. i'm not calling anyone a bad person for posting it or finding it funny. just throwing in my two cents worth: instead of laughing, that post made me think, hmm, if i knew someone like that, i would hate her. that's all.

i don't think the fact that i find a pornographically detailed description of the most annoying woman you could imagine UNFUNNY makes me too sensitive.

[mojo]

Originally posted by topane
WHY IS EVERYONE HERE SO F**KING SENSITIVE LATELY?

maybe they're not so much "more sensitive" as they are just speaking out more about it. people have a breaking point, ya know

[attgig]

Man, reading that makes me NOT want to get married :(

Like seriously, my heart just sank, and I was just, dude, I want to stay young forever, forget that marraige stuffs :cry2:

[Kim]

None of the 'gals' I know are even a bit like this. I feel sorry for any man who is stuck with this type of girl.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by att gig
Man, reading that makes me NOT want to get married :(

Like seriously, my heart just sank, and I was just, dude, I want to stay young forever, forget that marraige stuffs :cry2:

just stay away from "gals" like that and you'll be fine... ;)

[Kim]

I agree with welfare att gig, and you'll know if she is like that way before you think about marriage. ;)

[topane]

Originally posted by mojorisin
maybe they're not so much "more sensitive" as they are just speaking out more about it. people have a breaking point, ya know I understand that, mojorisin. I'll admit that I'm no angel, and I stick my nose in political posts and piss people off sometimes. But those are political posts, you're supposed to have disagreement. This thread started with a little manifesto that's a bit silly (IMO anyways), and now it's turning into another flame-fest. And yes, I probably fanned it a little with my previous post. I think we all need to chill a bit...

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by topane
I understand that, mojorisin. I'll admit that I'm no angel, and I stick my nose in political posts and piss people off sometimes. But those are political posts, you're supposed to have disagreement. This thread started with a little manifesto that's a bit silly (IMO anyways), and now it's turning into another flame-fest. And yes, I probably fanned it a little with my previous post. I think we all need to chill a bit...

but nobody's flaming each other. just flaming an inflammatory piece of drivel. i don't think that's bad behavior.

[mojo]

Originally posted by Kim
I agree with welfare att gig, and you'll know if she is like that way before you think about marriage. ;)

i think everyone is going from the assumption that no guy deserves this treatment. if he puts up with it, then he deserves it.

honestly tho, i dont find it cute or appealing at all. cute is a girl that will treat me nice and sweet. she is going to be my equal, pretty much.

this whole thing about women not knowing about cars mystifies me tho...cuz i know a helluva lot of guys that really don't, either

[topane]

Originally posted by welfareloser

but nobody's flaming each other. just flaming an inflammatory piece of drivel. i don't think that's bad behavior. :laugh: Dammit, welfare! Stop making me laugh!

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by topane
:laugh: Dammit, welfare! Stop making me laugh!

okay.

so two chickens walk into a bar.

that's all.

(that should stop the laughing.)

[attgig]

Originally posted by welfareloser


okay.

so two chickens walk into a bar.

that's all.

(that should stop the laughing.)

aww man! Now I'm laughing too!!! :D :heh:

[Jihforce]

Originally posted by Kim
None of the 'gals' I know are even a bit like this. I feel sorry for any man who is stuck with this type of girl.

My roomie is like that...pretty useless girl.

[The Happy Squirrel]

Hiya LIR
welcome

and btw i love your song
heehehe

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by The Happy Squirrel
Hiya LIR
welcome

and btw i love your song
heehehe

me too, even tho dave barry described the singer as sounding like he was undergoing a colonoscopy during the song...

[jujubees]

Originally posted by Jihforce
My roomie is like that...pretty useless girl. You're living with my ex-roomie?!?! :eek3: