Ouch. Rejection; it hurts.

[irwin]

I know some of you were expecting to see a really juicy story about me getting rejected, but I just wanted to see other people's misfortunes. So please, tell your story. :)

[K2]

what are you?.....some kind of sicko? :P

[revil]

I once asked a cow to the evil-prom. it said moo. i was so disheartened.

[irwin]

No late-nighters want to share? Fine.

Ok. So it's the end of freshman year and I see this girl. She's pretty hot, but I don't know her name. I find her in the year book, and I'm like, "Bling, I got her name."

Sophmore year. It's like December or something and one of my friends is like, "Hey *****, you know who x is going out with?" Then I go, "Yo, what up homeslice? Sorry, but no." Then he's all like, "He's goin out with z!" I try to act like I don't care, but it hurt quite a bit because I thought I had a chance with "z." She was in about my league. After a few days, I settle down because I figured that x and z won't stay together because this is high school. I figure I can just hit the "friendship zone®" then work my way up to the "Righteous Zone®" with her in junior year if I had a class with her.

Junior year. First day of junior year, I see her in my spanish class. I was like, "Holy bling...time to turn on the passwird charm." Too bad she sat like across the room. After class was over, I was gonna do an accidental little bumpity boo into her and say, "Oh sorry." Then do a nice innocent smile. She packed up her bags too fast and when she left, x was waiting outside.

So x and z have been a "thang" for almost a year now. Arg, and she's only in my spanish class (where I don't know squat), so she probably thinks I'm a dumbass if she even notices me. No chance for little passwird. :rolleyes:

[IrishSS]

Here's my story...

See girl end of sophomore year. Say to friend, I'm gonna ask her to prom next year. Friend says whatever, you wont even remember.

Junior year: See girl. Fall head over heels again. Ask to prom. She is a year younger, so doesnt think there would be anybody from her class, so isnt sure if she wants to go. Never gives me a definite answer. Don't end up going to prom. Ask girl out at end of Junior year. Girl has boy.

Senior year: I have lady friend, but still have a place in my heart for girl. Senior year goes by, get hug and kiss from girl at graduation. She says call me sometime. I do. Again, girl has boy now.

1 year later: End relationship with lady friend. Call girl. Girl doesnt have guy friend, but has moved outta town, and isnt lookign for a relationship. Hang out once or twice, but nothing becomes of it, fall outta touch again.

Following Fall: Get new ladyfriend. Still have place in heart for girl. Relationship goes great.

1 1/2 yrs later: Spring. All hell breaks lose, end of relationship.

Middle of Summer: Finally get back on my feet, call girl, says she really regrets not going to prom with me, and would like to "go out" with me. She works in the morning, I work at night. Schedules make it all most impossible to see each other during the summer. See each other three times. By time school starts, and by the time we have a chance to see one another, guy she was interested in during school year has come back to school. She starts dating him.

Today... Still hold large chunk of heart for girl :(

[hapoo]

ahhh that brings back memories passwird!


BTW... Never try and get in the "friendship zone®". Its a black hole! Most guys slip into it by accident. Occasionally someone manages to claw their way out.

[irwin]

Originally posted by hapoo
ahhh that brings back memories passwird!


BTW... Never try and get in the "friendship zone®". Its a black hole! Most guys slip into it by accident. Occasionally someone manages to claw their way out.

I'm such a freaking loser. I can't even manage to get into the FZ with ANY girl.

[IrishSS]

Gotta agree with hapoo... Never, ever get into the "friendship zone®" with any girl that you are even remotely interested in. If things dont work out, somebody will end up badly hurt(most of the time you), and that isn't a pretty place. A good idea in theory, but a horrible idea in real life.

[oblongmelon]

Originally posted by passwird


I'm such a freaking loser. I can't even manage to get into the FZ with ANY girl.

awwwwwwwww...your PASSWIRD FOR CRIPES SAKE..you are an internet s00perstar :-)...i heard julia roberts was asking for your number.

[theorangeone]

Was friends with guy for a long time- from 3rd grade-college. After our freshman year, we start hanging out more during the summer. Towards the end of the summer, on one of the few nights we were actually sober, we ended up fooling around. I was pretty freaked out, but I had a small crush on this guy for most of jr. high and part of high school. The next day, I tell him we need to have a chat. I wanted to if that was leading to anything, what was going to happen to us. He told me that we would never be any more than friends because I was too big for him to date. We could be friends, and "even better, friends with priviledges". I told him to f*** off, and haven't talked to him since.

[welfareloser]

well, there's this guy that makes me crazy, and i make him crazy, so we acting like a coupla crazy fooz. but we managed to find each other with some of the worst timing on the planet, so this could end with a whole lotta rejection.

(the guy's parent's - whom i still have not met, btw - are in love with me, and leaning on him to get his s*** together and be with me, as is his best friend... so, ev'body's on my team. so i don't have to lean on him at all and risk seeming like i'm nagging... imma just sit back and see what happens. :P )

[welfareloser]

oh, and the fz thing... i don't know if i'm really wierd or if there are other girls out there like me, but i have a hard time even developing interest in a guy if we aren't friends first.

[ArkiStan]

true...i don't see why everybody is afraid of the "Friendship Zone" so much. I think that's where it all starts. You're not gonna just bump in to her one day and sweep her off her feet. You gotta get in the FZ first, then work on her to make a good, lasting impression. Life and love are long, enduring processes, not Hollywood romance flicks.

my 2cents

[attgig]

wow.....
Irish...dude, move on....forget her....it's overs...
Orange...what's up w/ that response from that boy....that's junks!...should've called some of your hommies and gotten them iron knuckles goin...teach that boy a lesson!
PasswirdI understand the whole FZ->RZ....and yeah, IMO, I think longer lasting RZ's start out from FZ..... When you see a girl, don't know anythin about her, but just go after her cause she looks cute...eh, I don't think those RZ's last long...But, as others have said, prepare to be hurt, and have a LOT of patience...cause that transition from FZ->RZ takes forever...and if u do risk it and say you're interested, but they say no...then, well, FZ is over too :(

As for me, Kindergarden, There was this girl I liked....a LOT :) So, we were lining up in class to go to lunch or something, and I started asking her stupid questions, do you like this guy more, or this other guy... I did a few of them, and then finally said do u like this guy better, or me...she said the other guy :bawl:

I don't really have any REAL rejection stories, I've been score since Jr High :)...(also helps that I decided to give up dating in college, and I had a steady girlfriend throughout the majority of HS).

[brainsmile]

High school... oh the memories and the insecurities. Don't worry Passwird... you'll get through it. Focus on your S*** and you'll be fine. Ususally it happens anyways when you're least expecting it right?

[mojo]

personally, i can't believe passwird battered this poor girl! he's lucky he doesnt get locked up for that sort of behavior :nono:

anyhow, i married my ex wife out of the friendship zone. that's not a bad thing in itself...we screwed the thing up much later and it had nuttin to do with the friendship zone. i agree with welfare...i have a hard time gettin anywhere in a relationship where we can't be friends first. that is my preference...not someone imposing on me. i remember when thing happened without being friends first, and there was little or no feeling involved. if you're not friends first, why even bother.

and passwird, don't pull that loser crap on me. you gotta have confidence if you're gonna get anywhere in this stuff. make yourself the commodity. just like you're thinkin that you would be lucky to have her...you gotta remember that she would be lucky to have you. make a list of things you like about yourself if you have to (recommended for anyone in a negative state of mind...no matter how corny it may sound). just dont be cocky about it, of course, unless you wanna get your ass kicked.

but anyways...did you really think you were gonna hone in on someone else's girl? if so...what makes you think someone else won't be able to take her from you later?

[molecularfire]

While I agree that friendship zone is a good stepping stone to get with a girl, I do have some problems with it. I find using the friendship zone as a way of getting a girl to be kinda sad. I agree that getting a girl is a series of systematic attacks on her emotion so that she's so messed up she thinks she likes you. However, morally, that method sucks to me. Main problem with friendship zone though, is that if you become too good friends, you'll be the first person she tells when she meets a new "guy of her dreams". Ohhh the pain. Guy meets girl (not really any particular interest in her at this stage). Guy and girl become really good friends and guy starts liking girl. Girl sees guy like big brother. What the F**k does guy do now?

Huy

[brainsmile]

Mojo is right passwird... you gotta shrug it off. I don't mean be a jerk but you gotta roll with the punches and just be friends with everyone. You never know who will become interested in you when that happens

[Jihforce]

Show her the pic I made of you and Kate Moss in the CK ad, she'll be dumpin' "x" in a second :)
Don't sweat it passwird, i went thru the same thing before and ended up with the same result. (only difference is that I didn't spend 2-3 years waiting). You'll meet the right girl at the right time. Just don't plan it so much, these things happen when you least expected.
Make be friends with as many girls you can be with, who knows, they may have other hottie friends for all you know :)

[brainsmile]

Yeah... JihForce is right... don't be so anxious to hook up. Your impulsiveness may lead you to a relationship that isn't right and then when the right one comes along, you're in a bigger mess trying to solve that dilemma. I sound like a horoscope.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by molecularfire
I find using the friendship zone as a way of getting a girl to be kinda sad. I agree that getting a girl is a series of systematic attacks on her emotion so that she's so messed up she thinks she likes you. However, morally, that method sucks to me.

you have problems.

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by hapoo
ahhh that brings back memories passwird!


BTW... Never try and get in the "friendship zone®". Its a black hole! Most guys slip into it by accident. Occasionally someone manages to claw their way out.

Ohhhh Amen brother

[hapoo]

Originally posted by welfareloser
oh, and the fz thing... i don't know if i'm really wierd or if there are other girls out there like me, but i have a hard time even developing interest in a guy if we aren't friends first.


well, its one thing to become pure friends with person before you develop a sexual interest in them, but if your already interested in them like that then its a bitch becoming friends... "look but don't touch!!"

[mojo]

Originally posted by Burzhui
Ohhhh Amen brother
you're not friends with lolita? poor girl :(

[molecularfire]

Hey Wel... I'm not saying that I use or particularly like that method of hitting on girls. I'm just saying that it works. In fact, I'm downright opposed to that method of getting girls. :angel:

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by molecularfire
Hey Wel... I'm not saying that I use or particularly like that method of hitting on girls. I'm just saying that it works. In fact, I'm downright opposed to that method of getting girls. :angel:

i know. that's the problem. if, in the pursuit of love, all you see is manipulation and cynicism, i pity you. trying to become the friend of someone you like is a beautiful thing. hoping that it becomes something more is a beautiful thing. you're talking about it like it's nothing but a mind****. there's nothing dark and dirty about ulterior motives. that's love. that's lust. that's dating. that's how it is. that's friendship between men and women, every time! (just ask mojo... he is constantly referring me to the movie "when harry met sally" ...)

[molecularfire]

Sorry. I'm not saying that it's bad to be friends with someone you like. I'm saying that it's bad to pretend to be friends with someone you like as a way to get them. I know people who were friends and eventually got together and they're fine. I also know guys who use the guise of friendship as a way of manipulating girls, and I think that sucks. I'm not saying that all friends who get together were trying to f**k with each other's minds. If you like a person, and become friends with them, then that's fine. If you become friends with a person just to get into their pants, then that's where I say it sucks.


there's nothing dark and dirty about ulterior motives. that's

(hopefully this quote thing works... my apologies if it doesn't. It's the first time I've tried it).
This, I do not agree with. I have way too many close female friends that are just that close female friends to believe this. This is cynical.

[mojo]

Originally posted by welfareloser
(just ask mojo... he is constantly referring me to the movie "when harry met sally" ...)
did i forget to mention the movie "when harry met sally"..........

[molecularfire]

Darn it. The quote thing didn't work. Let me try it again.

The quote should've included:


there's nothing dark and dirty about ulterior motives. that's love. that's lust. that's dating. that's how it is. that's friendship between men and women, every time!

:D

[brainsmile]

Well you shouldn't trying to get into the FZ just to take it further...

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by molecularfire
I have way too many close female friends that are just that close female friends to believe this. This is cynical.

heh... i'm being a bit silly. it's just that i've been telling myself this for a long time... but now i've rather backed myself into a corner and must finally admit what everyone else has known for a while... i am head-over-heels, weak-in-the-knees, stab-wound-to-the-liver-every-time-i-breathe in love with a guy i have spent the last two-and-a-half years telling myself "yep! he's such a good friend! he's one of my best friends! i really like spending time with the guy! i could never see him in THAT way, tho, because... we're friends!"

(i still think guys and girls can just be friends... but don't tell mojo, cuz you DON'T wanna get him started...) :P

and, yeah, pretending you like someone just to get sex is not nice. i dint realize that's all you meant.

[StonedWheat]

It is very possible to break out of FZ's. P I've broken out of them about 3 times. :heh: If a guy and girl hang out a lot, one of them is bound to have feelings for the other, given enough time.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by brainsmile
Well you shouldn't trying to get into the FZ just to take it further...

why not? why not be friends first and see where it goes? do you have to announce the first time you meet someone: "ahem. i think you are pretty. i can imagine myself married to you and really want to have sex with you. so, how about a date?"

silliness. get to know a person however you are most comfortable with it, be that asking for a date or just hanging out in groups and then slowly trying to take it further.

[mojo]

Originally posted by welfareloser
(i still think guys and girls can just be friends... but don't tell mojo, cuz you DON'T wanna get him started...) :P

you've GOT to be kidding me! i actually use the movie as a secondary. you're exhibit A!

talk about your extreme case of denial........

the point is not whether they can be friends or not...the possibility is there. the purity or motives can be questioned is what the point is. people get too hung up on the words from this statement because it's overly simplistic. the thing is that there is a sexual tension that could very well exhist in this relationship. it's not nihilistic or negative at all....it's nature and hormones. and there are exceptions to the rules as well. thing is that hopefully you're never in a situation where your friendship is tested. if so, you will find out a lot more about yourself than you considered before you made the claim that "nothing will ever happen between me and my friend of the opposite sex (or same sex if you both go that way)."

[molecularfire]

I agree with stoned. It is very possible to break out (or better yet... expand) past the friendship zone. In fact, I find those to be the best relationships. When the lust stage ends in about 3-4 months into it... at least you know that you guys can still kick it together. Be careful though... if it doesn't work out, the friendship might be damaged. I've only gotten involved with a friend once, and it's the best relationship I've ever been in. However, I got lucky. Went through a couple of periods when I was up in the middle of the night thinking what the f**k was I thinking in the beginning. :D

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by passwird
I know some of you were expecting to see a really juicy story about me getting rejected, but I just wanted to see other people's misfortunes. So please, tell your story. :)

You sick twisted bastard... you just feed on misery don't you :cool:

[molecularfire]

get to know a person however you are most comfortable with it, be that asking for a date or just hanging out in groups and then slowly trying to take it further.

Nothing wrong with that at all. However, I don't know if this qualifies as



trying to get into the FZ just to take it further...

There's a difference (at least for me) with being friendly with someone to see if you really like them :angel: and pretending to be friends with someone to get them to like you :angry:

[fakesurfers]

Here Passwird, I liberated this image for you:

http://briesemeister.netfirms.com/wald0/404.jpg

[Lolita]

ok this isn't the worst rejection in the world but it hurt at the time. In 9th grade, I had a big crush on this guy. So then that summer he called me and asked me out and I was obviouslly really excited (also it helps to know that that was supposed to be my very first date). So i got all dressd up and i was waiting for him and he never showed up and never called me back and since i didnt know his number i couldnt call him and i didnt see him for almost a year after that (it was a really big school) and once i did bump into him i didnt know how to bring about the fact that i was burned on my very first date.

[IrishSS]

Originally posted by Lolita
ok this isn't the worst rejection in the world but it hurt at the time. In 9th grade, I had a big crush on this guy. So then that summer he called me and asked me out and I was obviouslly really excited (also it helps to know that that was supposed to be my very first date). So i got all dressd up and i was waiting for him and he never showed up and never called me back and since i didnt know his number i couldnt call him and i didnt see him for almost a year after that (it was a really big school) and once i did bump into him i didnt know how to bring about the fact that i was burned on my very first date.

I'll make it up to ya!!! :winkie: :love2: :D

[DaFunkyUnit]

I'll say it again!

Friends... how many of us have them?...

http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=30663&highlight=friends

[YanksFanRy]

Originally posted by welfareloser
oh, and the fz thing... i don't know if i'm really wierd or if there are other girls out there like me, but i have a hard time even developing interest in a guy if we aren't friends first.

A guy's point of view on the same subject:
Me too! Every girl I've ever gone out with or been interested in was a friend first. It's how you get to know someone. And I'm still friends with all but one of them.

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by IrishSS


I'll make it up to ya!!! :winkie: :love2: :D

Wow i guess you like S&M cause you will so be beaten :P

[brainsmile]

dogpile!

[IrishSS]

Originally posted by Burzhui


Wow i guess you like S&M cause you will so be beaten :P

Symphony and Metallica??? Ya, actually, I did quite enjoy that album.

BTW... Bring it on, Bubba. Lolita is definitely worth a lil scrape over...

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by IrishSS


Symphony and Metallica??? Ya, actually, I did quite enjoy that album.

BTW... Bring it on, Bubba. Lolita is definitely worth a lil scrape over...

A lil???? i'll start world war 3 over her.:angry:

[Lolita]

:kiss: :love: :love2:

wow guys, way to make a girl feel special
yet my heart is all burzhui's (how's that for cheesy?) :D

[attgig]

i wish i had photoshop...

http://www2.colorado.net/breckhatco/cheese.JPG
http://nanotech9.dhs.org:1088/images/nanos_gf.jpg

[Jihforce]

Originally posted by Burzhui


A lil???? i'll start world war 3 over her.:angry:

Don't you mean JLo? :P I'm sure you've got room for JLo :naughty:

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by Jihforce


Don't you mean JLo? :P I'm sure you've got room for JLo :naughty:


Well there is always room for Jlo, i mean Jello yea Jello is what i wanted to say:P

[IrishSS]

Originally posted by Lolita


wow guys, way to make a girl feel special
yet my heart is all burzhui's (how's that for cheesy?) :D


ahhhh... :neartears way to crush a guys heart... :bawl:

[Burzhui]

Originally posted by IrishSS



ahhhh... :neartears way to crush a guys heart... :bawl:

MWahahahhaahaha.... wait wait i see pieces of heart on the floor :smash:

[Jihforce]

heehee, that's what he gets for barkin' at the wrong tree. :laugh:

[Blu]

Originally posted by molecularfire
It is very possible to break out (or better yet... expand) past the friendship zone.


...and I'm living proof.

[Anck Su Namun]

Well my stories aren't over such a long period of time haha. Things are always over for me right when they begin.
Finally meet this guy I had noticed around school, the greatest looking guy I have ever seen, talk to him for about a month and see him a few times...then the mama's boy breaks it off. :(
This cute guy comes into my work, we go to the park together for 5 hours and just talk awww. how cute, right? :rolleyes: The guy is sweet but boring as hell but I decide to keep him around cause he looks good (I know, I am shallow). I go on vacation in May and haven't talked to him since. Oh well :)
Now I am waiting to move back to Cali and see the guy I had a thing for 6 years ago haha. I never knew him well though, I was only 14 and he is 3 years older than I am...he was the son of a family friend. His father used to make jokes about getting us together. Well maybe now that I am older he'll do more than just joke (I am shy and lazy too, and the guy is shy also). I will make an effort though. I am sick of being single :mad:

[jujubees]

Originally posted by welfareloser
(i still think guys and girls can just be friends... but don't tell mojo, cuz you DON'T wanna get him started...)In my experience, whenever a guy and a girl are friends, if it's past the superficial "Hi, how are things?" stage, then somewhere down the line - weeks, years, decades - one ends up falling for the other. We usually value years of friendship over the off-chance that the emotions might be reciprocated though, so we tend to keep quiet until it passes, or until our beloved dates or marries someone else. :bawl:

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by jujubees
We usually value years of friendship over the off-chance that the emotions might be reciprocated though, so we tend to keep quiet until it passes, or until our beloved dates or marries someone else. :bawl:

:wavey: *me votes for not keeping quiet, even though it risks everything you have*

[jujubees]

Well ... I used to be a bit more "balls-out" about declaring my love, but one can only handle so many no's before giving up completely. My pep-talks before the "professing my love" sessions have degenerated to, "He's gonna say no anyway, so you may as well ask him now so you can get over it and move on." :(

That's right, I've watched more men dash away from me than a marathon start line! :D

[Grimm]

The FZ is not a black hole. It is a good starting point. What you have to watch out for is the "Backup Boyfriend Zone®". It's when a girl keeps a guy in the wings just in case she has a problem with her current BF. It's a low, mean, base tactic. But I have seen it again and again. Friends don't use friends this way. If you see someone doing this, run. Run far and fast. This is not someone you want to know!

[mojo]

Originally posted by welfareloser
:wavey: *me votes for not keeping quiet, even though it risks everything you have*
this is hardly a testament that i am wrong, ms welfare :|

[mojo]

Originally posted by jujubees
That's right, I've watched more men dash away from me than a marathon start line! :D
dashing away from me is more like a telethon. they call in from all around to give their reasons for staying away. jerry lewis is there to crack jokes about it once in a while. they take pledges and give viable solutions to those that may be at risk of seeing me. and it's televised, for all to see :|

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by mojorisin

this is hardly a testament that i am wrong, ms welfare :|

[wide-eyed innocent look]*me bats eyes*[/wide-eyed innocent look]

[mojo]

Originally posted by Grimm
The FZ is not a black hole. It is a good starting point. What you have to watch out for is the "Backup Boyfriend Zone®". It's when a girl keeps a guy in the wings just in case she has a problem with her current BF. It's a low, mean, base tactic. But I have seen it again and again. Friends don't use friends this way. If you see someone doing this, run. Run far and fast. This is not someone you want to know!
[news anchor voice]
thanks, grimm!

sometimes it is very difficult to recognize this zone. people will often deny that it exists in their relationships. people will also make claims that they can withstand this zone...like maybe they have some sort of spray or something that repels it. they say things like "we are just friends," "we are too good of friends," and "it could never be anything else." the sad truth is that you will not be able to recognize that you are in this zone until there is a calling of you to your newly assigned post.
[/news anchor voice]

[brainsmile]

Hey Mojo... I never told you but what you did for EsDeeLoco a while back was WAY cool. Man you're a good friend.

[mojo]

Originally posted by brainsmile
Hey Mojo... I never told you but what you did for EsDeeLoco a while back was WAY cool. Man you're a good friend.
cool, man. all in a day's work.

btw, thanks! that sounds really great coming from "man's best friend" http://www.gotapex.com/forums/images/avatars/1/77.gif
;)