The Beverly Clintons

[oblongmelon]

this came in the mail...

The Beverly Clintons


Well dere once was a story 'bout a man named Bill;
Da poor president couldn't keep his willie still;
Den one day he was workin' at his desk,
When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest...
Boobs, that is. Two of 'em. Bodacious ta ta's.
Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees,
Mouth open wide and as happy as you please;
Bill sez, "oh yeah now-don't say a thing,"
"If you do a good job then we'll have a little fling."


Blow job, that is. Phalli osculation.


Well, Bill lost his load and it fell upon her dress,
He said, "Clean it up, 'cuz you really are a mess,
And you're invited here to dis fine locality,
To have a heapin' helpin' of little Willie C."


Da wiener, that is. Da presidential staff.


So week after week, Monica is on her knees
Keepin' Willie and his Wiener just as happy as you please,
But then she figured out dat the fling had gone too far,
And she blabbed it all to Linda Tripp who blabbed it all to Starr.


Bad girl, that is. Cigars. Bodacious ta ta's.


Well it weren't too long till we all knew the score,
'bout da stuff dat went down behind da oval office door;
Da country's in da toilet and da people cry, "No More"
But if we oust da cheatin' jerk, den we gotta live with Gore.


Boob, that is. Great big one. Head stuck up his rear.


So now ya know da story 'bout Bill our president,
Wonderin' if dis fling's gonna cost him every cent;
So da moral of da story is to do it quietly,
And stay outta trouble with dat witch named Hillary.

[fakesurfers]

How old is this?
Sheesh, talk about being a sore winner. Even your fellow Christian-Fundamentalist-right-wing-ideologues must be getting a little sick of recycled Bill Clinton jokes. I wonder how long it was before the most clueless of Richard Nixon's detractors figured out that kicking a dead horse was tiresome?

[jase71]

In the name of equal time and equal bashing, here's another old one.


The Kennebunkport Hillbillies
(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song)


Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.


DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.


Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.


Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.


The next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.


Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.


Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.


Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.


Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.


Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.


Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how George finally got his coronation.


Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.


Y'all come vote now. Ya hear?

[johnnymk]

I love the recycled jokes .... again and again and again and...
especially about Clinton!!

[oblongmelon]

Originally posted by jase71
In the name of equal time and equal bashing, here's another old one.


The Kennebunkport Hillbillies
(sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies Theme Song)

shortened to save space..
Y'all come vote now. Ya hear?

HAHAHAHAH :)

[Jenny]

HAHAHHAHHAHAHAH Omg, I nearly laughed til I cried, especially on the part about Gore and being a single boob. hahahahaha

The Bush one (even though I like him and voted for him) was hysterical, too. There are definitely some creative people out there.

[psycho-]

Originally posted by fakesurfers
How old is this?
I wonder how long it was before the most clueless of Richard Nixon's detractors figured out that kicking a dead horse was tiresome?


Dude... I if I was given a dead horse to kick, I'd kick it until it's embedded into the ground. :heh:

[Grimm]

Originally posted by fakesurfers
How old is this?
Sheesh, talk about being a sore winner. Even your fellow Christian-Fundamentalist-right-wing-ideologues must be getting a little sick of recycled Bill Clinton jokes. I wonder how long it was before the most clueless of Richard Nixon's detractors figured out that kicking a dead horse was tiresome?
Oh, lighten up. It's a joke. Go to the mall and buy yourself a sense of humor. :rolleyes: