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View Full Version : It was a dark and scary night.. (new Halloween-only keep it rolling!)


ironchef
10-31-2001, 06:43 AM
(ok, no crapping on this cuz it's not part of the other keep it rolling which we all know and love.. this is a one day only story, after which we can return to our regularly scheduled programming!)

.. and while composing the news for the next day, LPM heard a terrible noise outside his window.
oblongmelon
10-31-2001, 06:54 AM
he grabbed his trusty free maglight and headed towards the window to peer out...just when...
cruelpupet
10-31-2001, 06:58 AM
A staples representitive arrived. LPM reluctant to open the door for him, opened his window instead. The Staples rep said....
EdtheSped
10-31-2001, 07:09 AM
"Stop posting all of our coupon codes or you'll bankrupt us!!!" Right behind the Staples rep. was an Office Depot representitive dressed as satan holding a copy of the infamous $20 off of a $20 purchase coupon in his hand.
topane
10-31-2001, 07:11 AM
LPM shut the window in fear, but as he turned back into his living room there was a shadow on the wall shaped like...
welfareloser
10-31-2001, 07:16 AM
a horrible misshapen troglodyte... but no, he turned around to find that it was apex, dressed as...
cruelpupet
10-31-2001, 07:17 AM
a pixie.... apex said to LPM...
Jack.Watson
10-31-2001, 07:27 AM
…that dang Pixie again, who said “Stop posting more lyrics than news!” As LPM began digging a hole, to bury his head in, he discovered…
EdtheSped
10-31-2001, 07:30 AM
China, but as he was looking at all of the people walking upside he realized it wasn't China, it was....
TheCorp
10-31-2001, 07:38 AM
The unfortunate bowels of what the previous satan described as "Deals Hell". Fearing for his life, and the safety of his Office Depot and Staples coupon stash, he dashed off and found ...
Speedfreak
10-31-2001, 09:13 AM
a deal on a treasure chest so he could bury the coupons to be safe for ever. The only thing stopping him was.....
Jenny
10-31-2001, 09:20 AM
....Leon, who said that the deals can NEVER be buried! Leon took them and ran down the street, dodging cars and black cats. LPM took off after him, with the Staples & Office Depot reps and Apex chasing after him! They were all just about to turn the corner when...
oblongmelon
10-31-2001, 09:29 AM
the pixie-who was actually passwird in his peterpan halloween outfit, crossed the street and was yelling for LP to "wait up"..but with a look of terror in his eyes...
attgig
10-31-2001, 09:33 AM
because the government was chasing him down for money laundering, and he knew that the Staples and OD reps were.....
brainsmile
10-31-2001, 09:44 AM
bribing the government officials with free scanners... At that exact moment, on the other side of town, Passwird...
topane
10-31-2001, 09:44 AM
...was sniffing the glue out of the bottle he bought trying to get his latest OD order over $75.00 when he saw...
EdtheSped
10-31-2001, 10:05 AM
the best deal ever, but he was too stoned to read the full message. He was so anxious to get in on the deal that he...
attgig
10-31-2001, 10:11 AM
found someone on ebay to transfer money to via paypal so that they could do the deal for him! But, the other person turned out to be...
Speedfreak
10-31-2001, 10:13 AM
...wet his pants in exitement. He had to stop sniffing glue, but this was just to hard for him, because....
hoey222
10-31-2001, 10:23 AM
...he glued the tube directly to his nose. things were getting pretty desparate just as.....
oblongmelon
10-31-2001, 10:43 AM
he realized that he was so entirely stoned that the last 3 posts didn't make much sense to him..so he crossed back over to the other side of the street and entered the cybercafe where he saw...
wrkngirl
10-31-2001, 10:59 AM
Potato Peelers on Strike- scab request sent to G/A...
brainsmile
10-31-2001, 11:02 AM
the huge influx of eager volunteers was too overwhelming. So they had to...
topane
10-31-2001, 11:08 AM
...line them up alphabetically by height and...
faither
10-31-2001, 11:34 AM
number of off topic postings. Believing now that all was good and the coast clear...
evil-will
10-31-2001, 12:00 PM
everybody had to stop and admire DF's home made truck grill. After much oohing and aahing out from under the truck popped the OD and staples reps. They were yelling...
hoey222
10-31-2001, 12:02 PM
GAM..........GAM................GAM........TAKE US TO YOUR GAM......

well this really......
attgig
10-31-2001, 12:18 PM
Passwird. And although Passwird is small...his bling bling blinded DF, even through his pimp shades. However, Passwird, coming out of his glue high realized who he was protecting and...
EdtheSped
10-31-2001, 12:30 PM
tried to get out of the way, but before he knew it he felt the pain of the "pimp stick" hitting him on the side of the head. Passwird knew he had to get DF's way or he'd end up being one of his bitches, so he...
topane
10-31-2001, 12:39 PM
...ran behind Leon's stack of pr0n tapes and...
Jihforce
10-31-2001, 12:41 PM
...rolled into a ball so that DF could kick him to the curb. However, just as DF was about to deal the final 'blow'...
EdtheSped
10-31-2001, 12:45 PM
Apex ran over and gave DF a copy of WinXp. DF was so excited about getting a new OS he...
speedracer120
10-31-2001, 01:48 PM
went crazy and threw all his bling bling in the air. The following feeding frenzy....
ironchef
10-31-2001, 01:58 PM
... a terribly ugly troll came running from a nearby Internet kiosk yelling "I hate all Asians with blond hair and purple eyes. They're the scurge of western civilization!"

His incessant yelling was a sign to other trolls in the area to gather and pursue innocent victims.

Watching from a safe distance, Darkfury...
topane
10-31-2001, 02:02 PM
...doused himself in garlic butter and put on his beret. He then took his...
Jihforce
10-31-2001, 02:22 PM
...keys and drove to the store to pickup some potatoes...
evil-will
10-31-2001, 02:49 PM
meanwhile, passwird is laying in the street. What a bloody mess he is. He was hit one too many times with the pimp stick, and is now bleeding from the head. That is not his concern though, his main concern now is his bling bling. As we all gather around him we can hear the poor guy saying " first the paypal scam, now my bling bling is all gone..i was improved with 50 % more you know ! " All we can do is shake our heads and say.....
JPR
10-31-2001, 04:31 PM
what waste of a perfectly good white boy. Then the crowd wondered what a passwird tasted like? So they started a fire, prepared the marinate when all of a sudden the ironchef came around the corner...
ironchef
10-31-2001, 05:06 PM
... running because he was being chased by man-eating blast-ended skrewts!

"Run! Run!" he said as he ran by the crowd. But they hesitated for just a moment too long and the skrewts were upon them.

"Jesus christ!" one poor victim said as his leg was blown clear off by one of the blasting ends. "What do we do now!?"
psycho-
10-31-2001, 05:17 PM
....then out of the corner steps topane with his hideously huge, yet admirable.....
topane
10-31-2001, 06:00 PM
...toupeč made from the scalps of end-users who forgot their passwords and made a habit of...
TheCorp
10-31-2001, 06:12 PM
pissing off moderators almost as much as Leon when he forgot the password to the Apex account. What followed was an amazing epic battle: skrewts, LP, Apex, Leon, DF, and innocent bystanders oh my! Bling bling everywhere, some even say they saw a detatched "pimp stick" flying into ...
YanksFanRy
10-31-2001, 06:17 PM
... a bag of Anthrax-laced candy that was being given out by...
Nija
10-31-2001, 06:33 PM
theorangeone and jenny. They were trying to get everyone to...
psycho-
10-31-2001, 07:36 PM
boogie down with the...
Burzhui
10-31-2001, 07:52 PM
Originally posted by psycho-
boogie down with the...

Evil clown from across the street, this clown actually being Mr. Rogers hiped on coke and...
speedracer120
10-31-2001, 10:04 PM
...Shaft. No one could kick ass like he did. After busting out a can of whoop ass he proceeded to ...