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Kevster
02-21-2002, 11:53 PM
http://homepage.mac.com/davezilla/media/lobsterman.jpg

Common Name: Lobsterman
Scientific Name: Homerus americanus
Geographical Range: Throughout United States and Canada
Age: 43
Description: A strange combination of mammal and crustacean, the Lobsterman has the body of a fat human and the forearms of a North Atlantic Lobster. The exoskeleton appears to end just above the wrists.

It is not known whether or not dropping them in boiling water will bring out the reddish astaxanthin coloration, but it might be fun to try.

One thing that IS known is that Lobstermen are incapable of reflex-amputation (dropping a limb in defense). Instead, they opt for reflex-bowel movements, loud belching and whining to their wives.

Habits: Lobstermen are dull-witted creatures that believe themselves to be funny. They spend their days holding up their claws at seafood stores saying, “Look! I have lobster claws! Isn’t that hilarious?”

The first four hundred times it is.

Lobstermen, being natural scavengers, gorge themselves on anything they can find, being particularly partial towards inexpensive beer, Nacho-cheese Doritos and day-old burritos.
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Mojo - Is this the giant lobster you were referring to near the San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant?

oblongmelon
02-22-2002, 05:39 AM
if those are real lobster claws then the lobsters they came from must have been about 200 years old..YUK.

Merlin
02-22-2002, 06:37 AM
Additionally,

Whereas it may seem lobstermen are not well adapted to their surroundings they, nevertheless, are highly specialized creatures.
The odd appearing appendages, aside from making it easier to scratch their nether regions, makes them nature's most perfect jackalope hunters.

But alas, due to de-forrestation, global warming and being preyed upon be all other known creatures, both species are in serious decline.

Kevster
02-22-2002, 11:08 AM
Originally posted by Merlin
The odd appearing appendages, aside from making it easier to scratch their nether regions, makes them nature's most perfect jackalope hunters.

:laugh:

I haven't heard/seen you work in a jackalope reference in a while.

:laugh:

Grimm
02-22-2002, 11:12 AM
I'd put my money on the jackalope, those things are fierce! :P

sho.gun
02-22-2002, 11:12 AM
Originally posted by oblongmelon
if those are real lobster claws then the lobsters they came from must have been about 200 years old..YUK.

it's probably a normal lobster clawie that's been photoshopped, i mean c'mon... who eats the 3 year old cheese under their beds nowadays anyway.

Markel
02-22-2002, 11:16 AM
Originally posted by Merlin
The odd appearing appendages, aside from making it easier to scratch their nether regions, makes them nature's most perfect jackalope hunters.
Try to scratch your "nethers" with those claws, and you'll probably qualify yourself for a Darwin award. :hihi:

Merlin
02-22-2002, 11:18 AM
Originally posted by Kevster


:laugh:

I haven't heard/seen you work in a jackalope reference in a while.

:laugh:

They're on the loose...

http://www.jackalopeinternational.com/albuquerque/images/0011/pb211375.jpg
http://www.jackalopeinternational.com/albuquerque/images/0011/pb211374.jpg
http://www.jackalopeinternational.com/albuquerque/images/0011/pb211379.jpg