johnnymk
03-17-2002, 04:39 AM
These sentences appeared in church bulletins and/or were announced in a church service:
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Don't forget your husbands.."
3. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
4. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
6. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
7. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
8. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
9. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
10. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
11. The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M.
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
12. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
13. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
14. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M....prayer and medication to follow.
15. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. .
16. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
17. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Don't forget your husbands.."
3. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
4. Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
6. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
7. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
8. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
9. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
10. The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
11. The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M.
Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
12. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
13. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
14. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M....prayer and medication to follow.
15. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. .
16. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
17. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."