Engineers...

[Tommy Boomfiger]

Comprehending Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

[CluelessSi]

old but good (at least the second one):D

[SnowSurfer]

i would of taken the woman....but thats just me i guess

[Sir_Froggy]

hahahha :laugh:

[molecularfire]

How does the second engineer know that the clothes wouldn't have fitted? :confused:



















:P

[brainsmile]

funny

[gear02]

Originally posted by Tommy Boomfiger
Comprehending Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

"The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


See that's all wrong.

A real engineer would size up the situation by running analyses via Matlab, Labview, etc., then form a theoretical model for each outcome, followed by a technical design, then, after realizing that he ran out of time, would just flip a coin.

At least, that's how I got my engineering degree...without the analysis part...or the technical design...

[hang10wannabe]

hey im studying to be an engineer... am i gonna become a... "dork"? noooooooo why god why... why not take some other GA???? :bawl:

[Markel]

A doctor, a priest, and an engineer were playing a round of golf together. After they had played the first few holes they came upon another group of golfers, so they waited for the other group to play ahead. But after a while it seemed as if the other group was going nowhere. So the trio tried to look a bit impatient, hoping that the slow group would allow them to play through. No such luck. "What a bunch of losers!" the doctor complained. That group was totally oblivious to them. "Those have to be the rudest golfers I've ever seen" said the priest. It seemed as if they had no ability to even play the game. They walked back and forth swinging their clubs wildly.

After about half an hour of this, a greenskeeper was passing by, so the trio asked him if he could do something about the hacks ahead of them. "Oh, I could never do such a thing!" the greenskeeper replied, "Those are the blind firemen." "The WHAT?" they replied? The greenskeeper explained, "A few years ago there was a terrible fire in our clubhouse. It would have been totally consumed, except for those brave firemen. They knew that the clubhouse was an irreplaceable historic building, so they went beyond the call of duty to save it. But those firemen ahead of you lost their sight as a result of fighting the intense fire. The management felt it is the least that we could do to allow the blind firemen to play the course for free whenever they want."

The priest was struck. "I feel so horrible that I had rude thoughts about those poor men. I'm going to say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "I'm going to speak to some opthamologists I know to see if there might be anything that can be done for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't those guys just play at night?"

[coleslaw]

Originally posted by Markel
The engineer said, "Why can't those guys just play at night?" :heh:

Very true. My girlfriend always pokes fun at me because I am always analyze things way too much. Whenever we are watching a movie and something doesn't make sense, I'll mention it to her and she'll tell me, "Dear, it's just a movie!" :)

[hapoo]

Originally posted by coleslaw
:heh:

Very true. My girlfriend always pokes fun at me because I am always analyze things way too much. Whenever we are watching a movie and something doesn't make sense, I'll mention it to her and she'll tell me, "Dear, it's just a movie!" :)


Yeah i do that to. I also get excited and spoil the ending for people just cause its so freakin' obvious usually.

[Markel]

Originally posted by coleslaw
:heh:

Very true. My girlfriend always pokes fun at me because I am always analyze things way too much.
During the French revolution, a priest, an insurrectionist, and an engineer were all condemned to death (which, of course, was carried out by the guillotine).

When the day of their execution came, the priest was to be the first executed. As he was to be placed into the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Do you want to be face up or face down?" The priest replied, "I will look into the face of my God as I die." So he was secured face up, and the executioner released the blade. It came zipping down, but it suddenly stopped an inch above the priest's neck. "A miracle!" the crowd cried. "Well, since I released the mechanism, I've got to let you go" the executioner said.

The insurrectionist was next. "Face up or face down?" the executioner asked. Having seen what worked for the priest, the insurrectionist decided he might as well do the same. The blade was released, and lo and behold, the same result - it stopped just short of his neck. "Guess I'll have to let you go, too" the executioner said with a shrug.

The engineer came up. "Face up!" he announced as he approached, having seen what had happened before. Then, as the executioner was getting ready, the engineer looked over the mechanism and announced, "I see the problem! There's a knot in the rope...."

[kimchicowboy]

all i'll say is that i love engineers for what they do. i can never be one myself, but they sure do make life easier for us.

[whitak24]

good engineer jokes, markel :heh:

someone told me the "blind fireman" joke a few weeks ago, except they replaced "engineer" with "lawyer". i dunno why they were telling it to me though :shrug: :P

[mojo]

Originally posted by coleslaw
My girlfriend always pokes fun at me because I am always analyze things way too much.not always ;)

[Burzhui]

man all these are hillarious... i also analyze things a bit too much, but i'm a comp sci person ;)

[hang10wannabe]

Originally posted by Burzhui
man all these are hillarious... i also analyze things a bit too much, but i'm a comp sci person ;)

u poor poor soul u :(

:heh:

[coleslaw]

Originally posted by mojo
not always ;) D'oh! :heh:

[Hiro]

Originally posted by Markel
There's a knot in the rope...."
:heh: :heh: :heh: