Pinkgirl36
08-05-2002, 11:19 AM
For those of you who mourn the passing of our dearly
departed friend...
Obituary of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by
the name of common sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United
States from heart failure on the beginning of the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic
red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories, helping folks
get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
frivolous lawsuits had no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons
as to know when to come out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable
parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the industrial revolution, the Great
Depression, and the Technical Revolution, Common Sense
survived cultural and educational trends including
body piercing, whole language, and "new math". But his
health declined when he became infected with the " If
it only helps one person, it's worth it" virus.
In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of well intentioned, but overbearing,
regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated
when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only
worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student
but could not inform the parents when a female student
was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, Churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
their victims, and Federal Judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, awarded a huge
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and
out of logic, but was kept informed of developments
regarding questionable regulations, such as those for
the low flow of toilets, rocking chairs, and
stepladders.
Common Sense was proceeded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; His wife, Discretion; His daughter,
Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
-Author Unknown
departed friend...
Obituary of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by
the name of common sense.
Common Sense lived a long life, but died in the United
States from heart failure on the beginning of the new
millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic
red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in
schools, hospitals, homes, factories, helping folks
get jobs done without fanfare and
foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and
frivolous lawsuits had no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons
as to know when to come out of the rain, why the early
bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable
parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the industrial revolution, the Great
Depression, and the Technical Revolution, Common Sense
survived cultural and educational trends including
body piercing, whole language, and "new math". But his
health declined when he became infected with the " If
it only helps one person, it's worth it" virus.
In recent decades, his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of well intentioned, but overbearing,
regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated
when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance
policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only
worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get
parental consent to administer aspirin to a student
but could not inform the parents when a female student
was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, Churches became
businesses, criminals received better treatment than
their victims, and Federal Judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman failed to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee was hot, awarded a huge
settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and
out of logic, but was kept informed of developments
regarding questionable regulations, such as those for
the low flow of toilets, rocking chairs, and
stepladders.
Common Sense was proceeded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust; His wife, Discretion; His daughter,
Responsibility, and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
-Author Unknown