Being friends with "benefits"?

[soong]

Anyone have any offers, or ever taken up an offer like that? If so how did it work, ie did it work well or did it turn ugly... I was kind of offered that and just well wondered

[WhiskeyPapa]

Just medical? Or does it include dental and paid time off?

[soong]

yes...this is a very nice "benefit" package...

[Ladogaboy]

I see nothing wrong with it UNLESS both people aren't looking at the relationship the same way, as DF mentioned earlier.

But if you two are in it for the same reasons--just gettin' a little nookie on the side, then it should be fine. Just never look for one of these relationships to be fulfilling in a greater sense.

Oh, and on a side note, just from what I've seen, guys have a better way of handling these types of relationships than women. I think it is just because, in a guy's mind, sex and intimacy don't always go hand and hand.

[Cantacuzene]

Emotions will get involved and ruin it. Always.

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
Emotions will get involved and ruin it. Always.

You sound bitter. :hehehmm:

;)

[JustAPotato]

hmm.... after awhile...

... he expects you to be available when he is (as if you have no life -- except waiting on his needs)~~*

... she expects you to invite her out on dates (as if it's more than just "benefits")~~*

[sbp]

Your emotional state of being isn't good right now. You need to concentrate on dealing with the marriage situation first. If it unfortunately gets acrimonious and you live in one of those states, don't give wifey any more ammo to be used against ya.

[mcs328]

If both of you can seperate the emotional from the physcial aspect then I guess go ahead. But once you get a SO and they get SO, it's pretty much over then unless it becomes a trio, menegetwah(sp?)..ugh whatever u call it.

[soong]

True...i guess one reason i thought would be... revenge? or some kind of satisfaction that i'm still desirable? I mean...i'm not the most attractive guy nor the most charming...in fact i think most ppl described me socially as funny and harmless... just an ego boost i guess...but i still think it may be a valid one. And what is she going to say about it? she's(wifey) not an angel either...and if she wanted to get dirty, I'd win (and we're really trying to remain best friends despite this mess).

[mcs328]

Man...how come I never got offers like this? BTW...are you in Japan by any chance?

Related Post (http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=50429&highlight=japan+benefits)

edit: Woah...are u still married? That's a different story. I would advise away from married ppl either you or the other person. You don't want to create more problems than you already have. Deal with the one you have and don't go starting new ones.

[soong]

um...
separated...
and there is a thread about it...and you can see why i ask...

[WhiskeyPapa]

Well, I just read the other thread, and I think you should go to great lengths to keep your nose clean. You have 4 kids who are most likely to be going through a divorce soon. They are going to hear about all the crappy things your wife (their mother) has done. Maybe not right now, but someday they will. Do you also want them hearing about you screwing around too?

Right now you are on the moral high ground. It is hard as heck for a father to get primary custody of the children, but you are on the right track considering her behavior. If you move forward with this "friendship", you will totally screw yourself.

Perhaps subconsciously you want to drive the final nail in this coffin. You want the marriage to be completely over, and this affair certainly would do that.

Don't kid yourself and think that "nobody will ever find out". You are wrong. This "other woman" has friends who will know. Your friends will know, and you may find out later that they're not as good of friends as you think.

Also, you're posting all this info on a public forum. Any resourceful lawyer could probably find your posts.

Run away from this Jezebel as fast as you can. If you screw around on your wife, you're screwing around on your kids as well.

[caribiner23]

I'm with whiskey on this one.

If it's divorce you're going for, focus on that.

My divorce was final earlier this year, and believe me, the process takes a huge toll emotionally. You really don't need anything else in your life on top of this.

[ufcrusher]

I would say that in your current position you should stay away from the FWB arrangement.

Depending on your state laws, you might loose your current standing. For example, if your state assigns fault in divorces, you currently are the injured party. This could mean that you have a better chance of getting custody, lowered child support, lowered or removed alimony, and other things like that. So if your state assigns fault, you dont want to sully your position.

As such, I would definitely just abstain from the FWB relationship right now.

[kain9i6]

Originally posted by chosenfool
how about acccidental death and dismemberment?
401(k)?
any profit sharing included?
stock options?
how about sick leave?
personal time?
how long does it take to get vacation time?
and for how long?
any holiday bonuses?

Dude.. if you need accidental death and dismemberment insurance for a "Booty Call" either:
A.) You need to wear an extra rubber or two..
B.) Stop watching so much pulp fiction (i.e. S&M freaks)
C.) Stop mistaking the garbage disposal for the 'correct path'
(yes know that can be hard tho, being as they look so similar)
D.) All of the above and more.

[DankNstickY]

as pointed out in previous posts, emotions kick in... and then it all gets ruined. i'd say dont do it. :shrug:

[nickel]

Originally posted by mcs328
Man...how come I never got offers like this? BTW...are you in Japan by any chance?

Related Post (http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=50429&highlight=japan+benefits)

edit: Woah...are u still married? That's a different story. I would advise away from married ppl either you or the other person. You don't want to create more problems than you already have. Deal with the one you have and don't go starting new ones.

yeah, i knew we had posted on this topic before. i prefer to call it a f**k buddy.

[Nanotech9]

i need a FTF's... any offers?!?!? ;)

[revil]

Originally posted by Nanotech9
i need a FTF's... any offers?!?!? ;)
Careful, Nija might here you.

[gear02]

Ok...this is not coming from experience since I have absolutely none in this matter (I have never been on a date, and I'm 22!)...

I think you should take the high road like others have said. I think your kids will mean more to you than you think even now. You also need support, and not just from a forum. You should go to a place with lots of relatives (that you like) or friends that won't mind you being around a lot.

Good luck man. Take care.

[Nija]

Originally posted by revil

Careful, Nija might here you.

yeah, everyone heard you screaming last night, next time, a ball gag is order for you :hihi:

soong -

wait until the divorce is final, then you can fcuk as many people as you want :D

[Freelance Superhero]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
Emotions will get involved and ruin it. Always. :stupid:

not to mention, soong, your situation... i dunno... i'd say it's wise to refrain from any such behavior until that whole thing is settled...

[hang10wannabe]

sex sex and more sex = benefits



hmmmm... interesting... but yea soong... see how this marriage ordeal uve been dealing with turns out... then all the skex is urs! :D

[revil]

Originally posted by Nija
yeah, everyone heard you screaming last night, next time, a ball gag is order for you :hihi:
:hmm: That's the last time I play gimp! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!

[attgig]

Originally posted by soong
True...i guess one reason i thought would be... revenge? or some kind of satisfaction that i'm still desirable? I mean...i'm not the most attractive guy nor the most charming...in fact i think most ppl described me socially as funny and harmless... just an ego boost i guess...but i still think it may be a valid one. And what is she going to say about it? she's(wifey) not an angel either...and if she wanted to get dirty, I'd win (and we're really trying to remain best friends despite this mess).

revenge? - revenge can be nice, but if you're still emotionally attatched to your separated wife like you've been saying, then in the end, you'll just feel crappy. In the long run, it's never fun to take out revenge on the ones you love.

satisfaction? - isn't getting the 'offer' enough?

[soong]

damn.... yeah... guess everyone is right... oh well it was fun to think about it...

[gwilks98]

I did have an offer until I blew it friday by opening my big fat mouth. I got drunk, called her up, she offered (she was drunk too) and I told her no because I thought she still had feelings for me and it would mean more to her. :rolleyes:

[nickel]

where is that "i'm with stupid" sign? :P

[gwilks98]

it gets better...


she only wanted to do it because she thought I was sexy and I was good in bed.

[nickel]

:stupid: