revil
12-04-2002, 01:55 AM
Ok, so my mom sends me an email telling me what her boss told her. her boss basically told her that she thought that i was her only normal son. I don't know why... my brothers are normal... sortof. anyways, I decided to write something sarcastic back.
Since a doctor said that, it must be true! So, I guess it's now a fact that I'm normal and <brother1's name> and <brother2's name> are abnormal. So there we have it, your normal son should get more presents this year. your abnormal sons need some extra love and care, but less presents, because they need it for their abnormalness.
For some reason my fingers didn't stop there...
While your at it, you should make an addition your house. It will be called "The shrine," and you will make it where the current walkway is in front of the house (leading up to the door). This room shall contain hundreds of pictures comprising soley of me. This way all your visitors can see your normal son, whom you love the most. for kicks, you could put some ritual circles on the ground and put up signs that say, "praise thy neighbors normal son." And perhaps, you could install a fountin to collect money from all those who love me... and rig it so they can't open the front door until money is deposited in to the fountin. With that money, you can buy a bunch of exotic fish (ya, i'm pretty sure you can afford it with the fountin money), and then you can train them to syncronize swim when somebody size my normal name. respectivly, you should train the fish to spit water at the people who spout off the names of your abnormal sons. With the money leftover, you could hire a traveling priest and have him give sermons in The Shrine. He could talk about things such as how great my normalness is and how awful the abnormalness of my brothers. You may need to make the room bigger for this though. don't worry, you'll be able to fit more pictures of me on the walls since you'll have more surface area. Since the sermons will be generating revnue as well (by the collection of course), you can hire a project planner and he can take care of any further additions to The Shrine.
With that in mind, lets talk about what we can do with the rest of the house.... wait, I have to go. someone is at the door.
Sincerely,
revil the Grea... Normal.
Since a doctor said that, it must be true! So, I guess it's now a fact that I'm normal and <brother1's name> and <brother2's name> are abnormal. So there we have it, your normal son should get more presents this year. your abnormal sons need some extra love and care, but less presents, because they need it for their abnormalness.
For some reason my fingers didn't stop there...
While your at it, you should make an addition your house. It will be called "The shrine," and you will make it where the current walkway is in front of the house (leading up to the door). This room shall contain hundreds of pictures comprising soley of me. This way all your visitors can see your normal son, whom you love the most. for kicks, you could put some ritual circles on the ground and put up signs that say, "praise thy neighbors normal son." And perhaps, you could install a fountin to collect money from all those who love me... and rig it so they can't open the front door until money is deposited in to the fountin. With that money, you can buy a bunch of exotic fish (ya, i'm pretty sure you can afford it with the fountin money), and then you can train them to syncronize swim when somebody size my normal name. respectivly, you should train the fish to spit water at the people who spout off the names of your abnormal sons. With the money leftover, you could hire a traveling priest and have him give sermons in The Shrine. He could talk about things such as how great my normalness is and how awful the abnormalness of my brothers. You may need to make the room bigger for this though. don't worry, you'll be able to fit more pictures of me on the walls since you'll have more surface area. Since the sermons will be generating revnue as well (by the collection of course), you can hire a project planner and he can take care of any further additions to The Shrine.
With that in mind, lets talk about what we can do with the rest of the house.... wait, I have to go. someone is at the door.
Sincerely,
revil the Grea... Normal.