View Full Version : Giving children up for adoption.....
Hunny
12-26-2002, 05:56 PM
Your sibling gives birth to a child at a young age, & due to many circumstances, gives the child up for adoption...
Now that you are grown & many years have passed, you begin to wonder about this "child"...
What would you do about it, of course, if anything.....even though you aren't the biological parent...
Just wondering what your thoughts are......
i would try to contact that "child". My mother's friend did that because she gave birth to her at the age of 18. She now is happier that she has contacted her "daughter" and found out that she turned into a doctor and is doing very well for herself.
WhiskeyPapa
12-27-2002, 06:06 AM
I would allow the birth parent to make the first contact. If you initiate the contact, you may inadvertantly pull your sister into a relationship she neither wanted nor was ready for.
This could cause some HUGE family problems. Just leave it alone.
sizemic1
12-27-2002, 10:36 AM
Originally posted by kb0wwp
I would allow the birth parent to make the first contact. If you initiate the contact, you may inadvertantly pull your sister into a relationship she neither wanted nor was ready for.
This could cause some HUGE family problems. Just leave it alone.
Ditto.
oblongmelon
12-27-2002, 07:03 PM
I agree. What's done is done. Leave it alone.
Originally posted by oblongmelon
I agree. What's done is done. Leave it alone.
:stupid:
If you are giving them up for adoption, you don't want to be involved in their life. Why change that because YOU feel bad. Shouldn't have given them away. duh.
Hunny
12-28-2002, 09:43 AM
Originally posted by Nija
:stupid:
If you are giving them up for adoption, you don't want to be involved in their life. Why change that because YOU feel bad. Shouldn't have given them away. duh.
......& due to many circumstances...........
It wasn't quite as cut & dry...or as harsh as you put it here...
:puzzled:
TERRIBLETOM
12-28-2002, 10:29 AM
I hope I never fall into that scenario....
Hunny
12-28-2002, 11:56 AM
Originally posted by TERRIBLETOM
I hope I never fall into that scenario....
I hope not either...but if you have siblings, and it does "happen" to your family...what might you do...or how would you feel about it?
mcs328
12-29-2002, 09:17 AM
Originally posted by TERRIBLETOM
I hope I never fall into that scenario.... :stupid:
Safety first...protection protection protection.
Originally posted by Hunny
......& due to many circumstances...........
It wasn't quite as cut & dry...or as harsh as you put it here...
:puzzled:
What's not "cut & dry"?
The person had sex. Possible Side effect of having sex is a child. They got the side effect and couldn't deal. Obviously they shouldn't of had sex, thus they wouldn't of had the problem of the child, which lead to the subsequent adoption, and then them feeling bad.
Did i miss something?
TERRIBLETOM
12-30-2002, 02:09 PM
Originally posted by Nija
What's not "cut & dry"?
The person had sex. Possible Side effect of having sex is a child. They got the side effect and couldn't deal. Obviously they shouldn't of had sex, thus they wouldn't of had the problem of the child, which lead to the subsequent adoption, and then them feeling bad.
Did i miss something? Ummm, Is this a bad time to bring up the abortion issue?
Originally posted by TERRIBLETOM
Ummm, Is this a bad time to bring up the abortion issue?
Not for me
:D
WhiskeyPapa
12-30-2002, 02:23 PM
Originally posted by Hunny
but if you have siblings, and it does "happen" to your family...what might you do...or how would you feel about it? My grandma got preganant while my grandpa was fighting in WW2. She secretly went off to Chicago to live in some women's home while she gestated, delivered, and put a baby boy up for adoption. No one in our family found out until years after my grandpa died. Then no one dared look for the guy while my grandma was still living. Now that she's dead, no one seems to have much interest in tracking him down. Also, tracking down a 60-year-old adpotion might be kind of tough.
Hunny
12-30-2002, 09:37 PM
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Nija
What's not "cut & dry"?
The person had sex. Possible Side effect of having sex is a child. They got the side effect and couldn't deal. Obviously they shouldn't of had sex, thus they wouldn't of had the problem of the child, which lead to the subsequent adoption, and then them feeling bad.
Did i miss something?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by TERRIBLETOM
Ummm, Is this a bad time to bring up the abortion issue?
What I meant by cut & dry, was that you don't know all the circumstances, which was my fault to begin with for not telling the whole sordid story when I started this topic..I should have known better in an open forum...because this is what its all about...saying what you feel :P ...anyhow, without the particulars, you wouldn't of course, have known, therefore if you did, I think your response wouldn't have been so harsh.
As far as the abortion issue goes..."back when", it wasn't as "easy" as you think to have one, as it is today...and even harder once you've passed the "time limit" of having one...
Age, race, family background, the era of time even...it all played a heavy role...To say you wouldn't understand unless you were in the position would be an understatement...I was a little girl & I still remember it like it was yesterday...it was like having leprosy :eek:
Adoption vs Abortion seemed at the time to be the most humane thing..if thats the correct term to use...
Today, things would have been different without a doubt...What can I say...
She doesn't talk about it...matter of fact..noone does..I just happen to think about it every once in a while and thought I would swing it in the forum ...
So,unless you fall in that position ( no pun) or know of someone in that position, try not to be so judgmental........
:)
Originally posted by Hunny
What I meant by cut & dry, was that you don't know all the circumstances, which was my fault to begin with for not telling the whole sordid story when I started this topic..I should have known better in an open forum...because this is what its all about...saying what you feel :P ...anyhow, without the particulars, you wouldn't of course, have known, therefore if you did, I think your response wouldn't have been so harsh.
As far as the abortion issue goes..."back when", it wasn't as "easy" as you think to have one, as it is today...and even harder once you've passed the "time limit" of having one...
Age, race, family background, the era of time even...it all played a heavy role...To say you wouldn't understand unless you were in the position would be an understatement...I was a little girl & I still remember it like it was yesterday...it was like having leprosy :eek:
Adoption vs Abortion seemed at the time to be the most humane thing..if thats the correct term to use...
Today, things would have been different without a doubt...What can I say...
She doesn't talk about it...matter of fact..noone does..I just happen to think about it every once in a while and thought I would swing it in the forum ...
So,unless you fall in that position ( no pun) or know of someone in that position, try not to be so judgmental........
:)
I still see it as pawning off your mistakes on someone else. the person made a mistake (sex, unprotected) then pawned off one of the possible side effects (child).
That is how i see things.
It's like when you ask a question, are you ready for ALL possible answers? especially the most hurtful (thus probably the most truthful) answer? If not, then don't ask the question.
Hunny
12-31-2002, 12:16 PM
Originally posted by Nija
It's like when you ask a question, are you ready for ALL possible answers? especially the most hurtful (thus probably the most truthful) answer? If not, then don't ask the question.
You bet I am...and exactly why I asked that question...I figured it'd spark something...
(thus probably the most truthful)
If you say so ;)
Besides....isn't that what this is all about...if we all held the same views on everything, there'd be no need for a forum....we'd all just be boring and agreeing with each other... :o
I find it pretty interesting myself...
:poke:
Originally posted by Hunny
Besides....isn't that what this is all about...if we all held the same views on everything, there'd be no need for a forum....we'd all just be boring and agreeing with each other... :o
I find it pretty interesting myself...
:poke:
I was meaning, more in a broader, IRL sence. :)
Showtime
01-01-2003, 10:44 AM
Originally posted by kb0wwp
I would allow the birth parent to make the first contact. If you initiate the contact, you may inadvertantly pull your sister into a relationship she neither wanted nor was ready for.
This could cause some HUGE family problems. Just leave it alone.
you are a wise man. i couldn't have said it better......
-jel:halo:
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