welfareloser
01-18-2003, 05:49 AM
*Sigh*
okay, so this is being brought on by the baby shower i'm going to be forced to sit through on sunday. there is no worse idea than getting a bunch of damned women together in one room... i can't even drink heavily to make it entertaining (but i made sure my mom is serving lots of alcohol to everyone else in an effort to make it bearable.) only reason i'm doing it is because we need so much stuff - so i'm taking one for the team.
i just hate any activity that is based on or encourages an arbitrary division of the sexes. i've honestly never witnessed a "boys/girls night out" that was truly about being free of the pressures associated with the presence of the opposite sex - they are ALWAYS about not wanting your sig-other along because you either need a break from someone who annoys you, or because you don't want your sig-other to witness what you are going to do (either flirting or amount of alcohol consumption or you want to talk behind his/her back.) i've been on several girls only things... and even more guys-only things where i was the lone "honorary guy"... and that's how it always is for the people who set up the outing, and then there are others along who would be perfectly happy having their sig-other along, but they bow to social pressure and play by the rules of the ugly little game.
i hate people who assume that because i am "a wife," i am therefore an appendage with no ideas of my own; that my husband drags me along on "his" activities. it's intensified when i'm pregnant... people assume there is nothing more to me than motherhood. strangers make assumptions, fine, i set them straight politely. but even people who KNOW me will say things like "prm is going ice fishing? he's not taking his wife is he?" (on a trip that i planned? umm, yeah, he'll "take" me.) or they'll ask prm about "his homebrew" or some other damned thing. i just get tired of having to constantly tell everyone who i am and what i do and having half of them ignore me anyway.
i understand that the majority of people interested in ice-fishing or fly-fishing, or any of a number of other activities i enjoy, are male. fine. but once you know that the two people you are talking to are both interested in it, how can you continue to be such an ass that you exclude one person from the conversation? are some guys really only interested in other guys' opinions? are some guys really incapable of seeing anyone female as a friend or peer? it really seems so sometimes.
i hate hanging out with some of our old guy friends from back in the day who are now married... seems like 50% of marriages fall into the ugly stereotypical pattern of "man likes to go out and woman likes to stay home, man likes engage in physical activities and woman likes to spend money, man likes to store head up butt and woman likes to nag him." it's just exhausting to watch, and suddenly their wives think i want to sit on a sofa and bitch about men instead of hanging out in the kitchen inspecting the new brew equipment, for one example.
but back to the baby shower... i've been to one of my own and several for other people, and here's how they go down:
the men drop off the women and the children, because god forbid a man take his child out for a few friggin hours and allow his wife a few hours in peace to socialize, and GOD FORBID even have a good time with his kid.
the men hang out for a minute or two, bragging about how they're going to have the whole house to themselves, or how they're going to go out and do something fun for a change.
the women, once alone, bitch about men. fine. whatever. hate your relationship and be bitter. you signed up for it, not my problem. but there is heavy pressure for everyone to contribute similar stories... it's "my husband does blah blah don't you HATE IT when your husband does that?" "what do YOU do when your husband does that?" i think i actually piss people off when i refuse to play the damned game. I'M REALLY FRIGGIN SORRY MY HUSBAND DOESN'T PISS ME OFF. my husband is chronically late. i don't care. he's a big boy and it's no reflection on me. my husband is a slob. so? so am i sometimes. he doesn't care enough to clean it, fine. if i'm the only one who wants it clean, it's my job to clean it. don't i hate it when he runs off all afternoon to do something without me? well, no. if it's something we both want to do, we do it together. if it's something only he wants to do, like lifting weights, i entertain myself while he's gone... he watches the kids for me when i have a solitary activity, and i watch them for him. duh. why do so many people have such crappy relationships? it's depressing and i'd rather hide in my room and pound chocolate all weekend than hang out with people and bear witness to all the miserable nonsense.
so prm is going to hang out in the back room during the shower - it's two hours long. the husband of an out-of-town friend of mine will be along, and my dad will be around, so the three of them will hang out and drink beer and watch tv. they'll have fun. prm's dad was all excited about "well, during the shower we could go do this or that." *sigh* yippee! the bitch is all busy so we finally get to do something fun! (minus drive time, we could actually squeeze in 43 minutes of female-free fun!) i'm sorry that's your life, but it's not ours! he always enjoys my company when we're out fishing or shooting or up drinking until three am, but his wife and all his friends wives are people who must be escaped in order to enjoy such activities, and so it seems like every damned time he has to be reminded that i am not one of them.
so, to end on a happy note - prm just told his dad that it's only two hours, and he'd rather hang out and we can all go out and do something afterwards, and invited his dad to hang out too. so his dad's going to come hang. that's one of the many reasons i love that guy... he never gives in to social pressure to act like "dude my wife annoys me just like yours does you."
okay, so this is being brought on by the baby shower i'm going to be forced to sit through on sunday. there is no worse idea than getting a bunch of damned women together in one room... i can't even drink heavily to make it entertaining (but i made sure my mom is serving lots of alcohol to everyone else in an effort to make it bearable.) only reason i'm doing it is because we need so much stuff - so i'm taking one for the team.
i just hate any activity that is based on or encourages an arbitrary division of the sexes. i've honestly never witnessed a "boys/girls night out" that was truly about being free of the pressures associated with the presence of the opposite sex - they are ALWAYS about not wanting your sig-other along because you either need a break from someone who annoys you, or because you don't want your sig-other to witness what you are going to do (either flirting or amount of alcohol consumption or you want to talk behind his/her back.) i've been on several girls only things... and even more guys-only things where i was the lone "honorary guy"... and that's how it always is for the people who set up the outing, and then there are others along who would be perfectly happy having their sig-other along, but they bow to social pressure and play by the rules of the ugly little game.
i hate people who assume that because i am "a wife," i am therefore an appendage with no ideas of my own; that my husband drags me along on "his" activities. it's intensified when i'm pregnant... people assume there is nothing more to me than motherhood. strangers make assumptions, fine, i set them straight politely. but even people who KNOW me will say things like "prm is going ice fishing? he's not taking his wife is he?" (on a trip that i planned? umm, yeah, he'll "take" me.) or they'll ask prm about "his homebrew" or some other damned thing. i just get tired of having to constantly tell everyone who i am and what i do and having half of them ignore me anyway.
i understand that the majority of people interested in ice-fishing or fly-fishing, or any of a number of other activities i enjoy, are male. fine. but once you know that the two people you are talking to are both interested in it, how can you continue to be such an ass that you exclude one person from the conversation? are some guys really only interested in other guys' opinions? are some guys really incapable of seeing anyone female as a friend or peer? it really seems so sometimes.
i hate hanging out with some of our old guy friends from back in the day who are now married... seems like 50% of marriages fall into the ugly stereotypical pattern of "man likes to go out and woman likes to stay home, man likes engage in physical activities and woman likes to spend money, man likes to store head up butt and woman likes to nag him." it's just exhausting to watch, and suddenly their wives think i want to sit on a sofa and bitch about men instead of hanging out in the kitchen inspecting the new brew equipment, for one example.
but back to the baby shower... i've been to one of my own and several for other people, and here's how they go down:
the men drop off the women and the children, because god forbid a man take his child out for a few friggin hours and allow his wife a few hours in peace to socialize, and GOD FORBID even have a good time with his kid.
the men hang out for a minute or two, bragging about how they're going to have the whole house to themselves, or how they're going to go out and do something fun for a change.
the women, once alone, bitch about men. fine. whatever. hate your relationship and be bitter. you signed up for it, not my problem. but there is heavy pressure for everyone to contribute similar stories... it's "my husband does blah blah don't you HATE IT when your husband does that?" "what do YOU do when your husband does that?" i think i actually piss people off when i refuse to play the damned game. I'M REALLY FRIGGIN SORRY MY HUSBAND DOESN'T PISS ME OFF. my husband is chronically late. i don't care. he's a big boy and it's no reflection on me. my husband is a slob. so? so am i sometimes. he doesn't care enough to clean it, fine. if i'm the only one who wants it clean, it's my job to clean it. don't i hate it when he runs off all afternoon to do something without me? well, no. if it's something we both want to do, we do it together. if it's something only he wants to do, like lifting weights, i entertain myself while he's gone... he watches the kids for me when i have a solitary activity, and i watch them for him. duh. why do so many people have such crappy relationships? it's depressing and i'd rather hide in my room and pound chocolate all weekend than hang out with people and bear witness to all the miserable nonsense.
so prm is going to hang out in the back room during the shower - it's two hours long. the husband of an out-of-town friend of mine will be along, and my dad will be around, so the three of them will hang out and drink beer and watch tv. they'll have fun. prm's dad was all excited about "well, during the shower we could go do this or that." *sigh* yippee! the bitch is all busy so we finally get to do something fun! (minus drive time, we could actually squeeze in 43 minutes of female-free fun!) i'm sorry that's your life, but it's not ours! he always enjoys my company when we're out fishing or shooting or up drinking until three am, but his wife and all his friends wives are people who must be escaped in order to enjoy such activities, and so it seems like every damned time he has to be reminded that i am not one of them.
so, to end on a happy note - prm just told his dad that it's only two hours, and he'd rather hang out and we can all go out and do something afterwards, and invited his dad to hang out too. so his dad's going to come hang. that's one of the many reasons i love that guy... he never gives in to social pressure to act like "dude my wife annoys me just like yours does you."