someone diagnose my mental issues...

[Nanotech9]

i'm obviously bored right now... and i'm making up for not having posted much in teh last few months...

so yeah, someone help me here...

I'de like to have a GF.
I dont want all the headache of a GF though.
My main reason for NOT having a GF is that i keep telling myself i dont want one because of all the trouble and headache they are.
I think i might be lying to myself, an that i really would LOVE to have a GF, but i'm either too dumb, shy, stupid, or ugly to get a GF, and therefore i'm making up reasons as to why I don't want a GF, and convincing myself that those reasons out-weigh the reasons for Having a GF.

Wow, i'm confused.

[edit]
Oh yeah, to make matters worse, I obstain from pre-marital sex, so obviously that makes the Pro's of having a GF a lot less.

Please help,
Nano.

[nickel]

looks like you need to visit Lucy's psychiatric booth :P

[eSDee]

Well if you find the right girlfriend, the headaches will be overshadowed by the happiness that she gives you. The difficult part is just finding the right one.

Good luck man.

[xsiled2]

i look at stuff just about the same way, except that no sex thing...

[molecularfire]

Eh... having a GF is overrated. Ok... I'm kinda a hypocrite for saying that because I do have a GF, but IMO, that should be something that if it happens it happens. There is nothing wrong with NOT having a GF. I went through many many years without having a GF, and personally I think it was a good thing. First of all, I like my freedom. Secondly, if I had settled for someone earlier, I wouldn't be with my GF right now. Definitely worth the wait.

Now... if you want a GF just to have a GF, then don't take it too seriously. Go out and get a GF. There are tons of people out there and almost all of them are relatively easy to manipulate into liking you. Either ways, don't overthink it. It's like eating thai food... if you feel like thai food, go get some. If not... don't.

[joe52985]

having a meaningful relationship, not just a g/f, can be the greatest thing in the world, i mean of course everyone has differences and there are many headaches but as eSDee said, the good times really will overshadow the bad stuff. Im on the other side of the fence with the whole sex thing, she wants to wait till marriage(i could go either way on that one, im in no rush). which is very understandable and commendable, cosidering how hard it is to find people with morals these days. im going on 11 months and 5 days and id say it has been the greatest 3 years of my life (we were close friends before).

bottom line dude is just be yourself, chicks dig bikers and fast cars so your already in the lead:D

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by Nanotech9

I dont want all the headache of a GF though.


here's your one and only real problem. either you have been really unlucky in the past in your choice of gf, or you are attracted to girls that suck. (of course, it is also possible that no matter how wonderful a girl you date, your internal problems will turn her into a headache for you... but only you can know if that's the case...) if she's a headache, don't make her a gf.

too many people dating the best thing that is easily available to them, even though they really know they're not compatible... and as you stay with someone, things follow THE SAME natural progression whether you're totally in love or just bored and can't find anything better... you get closer, you get to know each other better, you get comfortable, YOU GET STUCK. if you're dating someone with the intent of keeping it casual, but you wind up dating for 2 years... guess what... most people wind up committed to that person. this is how some very bad marriages happen, and it's really hard to break up with someone you've been with for 5 years... it really takes the other person screwing up bigtime, and if they DON'T screw up in a big way, they're probably not going to get dumped... most people will stay in a relationship that is just sort of low-key suckage 60% of the time because breaking up sucks really bad in the short term, and they can't see past that to the possible long-term benefits.

so, i'm not an advocate of dating just to date. some people (probably including you, from what little i know of you here) can pull it off just fine, and leave when it's time to leave, but most people can't.

[Nanotech9]

i think thats part of my problem welfare... i dont want to date anyone that isnt the marriable type (i.e. someone i might eventually consider marrying).

i really havent run accross many of this type of girl.

[Grimm]

Well, your mental problem is obvious to me... obstaining from pre-marital sex.

As far as having a GF, don't get one just to have one. Find someone that you could consider having a lifetime relationship with. If she turns out to be the wrong one, move on.

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by Nanotech9
i think thats part of my problem welfare... i dont want to date anyone that isnt the marriable type (i.e. someone i might eventually consider marrying).

i really havent run accross many of this type of girl.

that's how i've always been... haven't spent much time single, as it worked out, but there have really only been 5 guys in the last 12 years that i thought were really special and was pretty sure i would have considered marrying ... i dated 4 of them. (i guess i dated the 5th one, too, if you can count three uncomfortable days in 6th grade :P ) this attitude will have you single for stretches... but that doesn't make it an inferior attitude. the dating meat market is just smarmy and yucky in a lot of ways.

my sister is also this way... at 23, she's had a few stints of casual dating - seeing several guys for a few months, no big deal, for about a year in high school and again for a semester or so in undergrad - and it really didn't seem worth it to her. so, she had one long-term relationship in high school, and then one long-term-long-distance relationship in undergrad... and about two or three years of absolutely nothing. it kind of bummed her out sometimes, especially when she went to parties with her friends and they all hooked up with someone just to have someone that night... but mostly she was happy with the decision. and now, in grad school, she has found a fabulous guy - they have similar interests, he's good to her, they can talk about anything, and wow is she glad she waited and didn't get entangled in anything that might have made her pass him up.