If your girlfriend wanted to be an exotic dancer

[pennyFX]

Would you be cool with your girlfriend being an exotic dancer?

Not just a topless one the does a little runway stuff, but the girl who gives lap dances ..etc..

Would you really be okay with the fact that she's coming home to you after rubbing her..@$$ on a bunch of guys?

I would like some other peoples opinions on this. thanks

[DankNstickY]

no no no.

nasty... you'd be gettin sloppy seconds EVERYDAY. :nono:

[sbp]

Probably not.

[Full Monty]

Definitely not.

[Memo]

**** NO.

[Acy]

NO

That's really not cool

[Leebo]

Sure she could...

:johnwoo2: (other guys)





:thumbdown:

[ArkiStan]

Only if she lets me be one too.

[Merlin]

Hell, I'd be cool with it. Steady job. Paid in cash. Make more in a year than any three of us put together. If she can do this than she must be smokin' hot. So I'm okay with it.

Lots of people do unsavory things for a job. It should not have an impact on how we judge their character.

Not to burst your bubbles but most strippers looks at the customers as nothing more than ATM machines. They don't get off on it. So since she is most likely doing it as nothing more than a job...

Just make sure she is not earning "extra" money in the back room. That would, of course, change things.

[misfit]

Been there, Done that... *just* got out of said relationship.
We started goin out in Sept, she was a dancer at some local club.
At first in your head its like "Yehaw!~ Im datin a hot stripper, all them other doods can only look, i get to touch.. oh yah. Shes mine."
But then after a while you DO start to get jelous (sp?) of her job, "those perverts at her club get to see her "stuff" more than I do..." etc..etc..

Basically... at first it may seem cool, but after about 6 months, things just get hairy. DONT do it.

[xsiled2]

only if the only one she did it to was me :D

[Freelance Superhero]

HELL no... i don't think any woman or man should be flauntin their goods in public, especially for money. and unless you think sex is NOT necessarily meant to be a private issue, then i disagree with merlin: i think you CAN make a character judgement on someone who strips for cash.

[GraingerGuy]

That's a BIG negative red leader!!

[zenbooty]

I have nothing against strippers, but I don't think I could handle my girlfriend being one. WAY too dirty a business. Girls can do all right financially in it, but a lot of girls wind up getting caught up in a lot of bad **** they never expected would occur going in. The money's not worth it, if you ask me. I would probably try and talk her out of it, frankly, if I cared at all about her.

[blueindian]

Originally posted by misfit

Basically... at first it may seem cool, but after about 6 months, things just get hairy. DONT do it.

hmmm..that's odd. mosts of the strippers i've known shaved every day. sort of a prereq for the job isn't it? :heh:

on the for real...hell no.

[pennyFX]

Yeah I pretty much feel the same way as most of you guys. I don’t really want it. I don’t like the idea of having the girl that I love going out and turning on a bunch of slime. It’s just dirty.

She thinks of it as “her being free and living on her own” and somehow she thinks that I should support her in her decision IF she wants to do it. It’s not a definite thing yet, but just an idea of hers. Sometimes I feel like I’m being too controlling or something because I’m not sure if I would approve of something like that.

Oh and then she definitely wouldn’t like the idea of me ever going to strip club. Heck, I’m thinking about becoming a bar tender and she’s worried that I’m going to meet girls or something. But my job would be mixing drinks, not rubbing my @$$ and boobies (not that I have boobs) in peoples faces.

I just said that “I didn’t know if I could handle it or not” I mean. I’m willing to give it a shot and just see if I can handle it for a while. I also wonder if she’ll really go through with it. Or if she did it a few times, then it would satisfy her curiosity and she could move onto a better way of making money. But if it turns out that I really don’t want it and she really likes doing it, then of course it’s going to come down to her choice of either being an exotic dancer or being with me.

[gwilks98]

Hmmm...tough decision.

On one hand, it's bragging rights. After all, who is she going home to at the end of the night?

On the other hand, if you settled down with her and had a family, what would you say if your daughter wanted to strip 18 years down the road?

[johnnymk]

Sounds like a double standard to me. You want to be a bartender and nothing will happen? Come on, who are you trying to kid? There are more opportunities meeting women by being a bartender than any other profession,(except, maybe for rock bands).
Maybe she is just trying to get even and is testing you.

[pennyFX]

Sounds like a double standard to me. You want to be a bartender and nothing will happen? Come on, who are you trying to kid? There are more opportunities meeting women by being a bartender than any other profession,(except, maybe for rock bands).

There might be an opportunity to meet women, but an opportunity is nothing unless you take advantage of it. Plus, it wouldn't be my job to turn on women and take there money. If I wanted to do that, then I'd be the one wanting to be a dancer.

I'm kind of wondering what some women think about this? Are there any out there that would care to chime in? Would you expect your boyfriend to be cool with you dancing?

[nickel]

no, i wouldn't expect him to be cool with it as i wouldn't think it cool for him to be in that profession. i know the money is good, but money isn't everything. having other woman oogling and groping him is not gonna fly.

[YanksFanRy]

First off, I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be stripping. Besides the fact that we're both 17, it would just cause things to be uncomfortable and awkward.

Saying that, it's better than her being a lawyer... hehe

[eSDee]

Definitely not, but I have had friends who didn't have a problem with it.

[molecularfire]

Nope. Lets be honest... it would drive me nuts. I mean, when it comes down to it, it's her life and she can do whatever she wants to with it, but I would not be able to deal with it. There's no point in lying about that. I have a friend who used to be a stripper, and so I know that there are a LOT of things that can go wrong with that business if your head isn't on straight. My friend handled it fine and had very few problems so things worked out well for her, but she knows a LOT of other girls for whom that wasn't the case. I would still try to be her friend and help her (because there is a good chance that she is going to need a shoulder to cry on), but the BF/GF relationship would have to end. I'm not sure that if we were still going out that I would be able to be the kind of friend she needs.

[brainsmile]

well if you agree that it's ok I believe that you don't have true feelings for the person

[Dave_7]

Unless she's saving up to have a kidney replaced, or something...

If you have a problem with it (and I know that I would), I would say, "If you're interested in remaining my girlfriend, you'll find another way to earn money."

Then again, maybe she's looking for a way out of this relationship... just a thought. Stranger things have happened.

Along the lines of what someone said above... I'd bet once she gets a taste of the $$$ potential, she'd have a tough time walking away from earning that kind of money.

I've known some people in the "business".




Dave.

[whitak24]

Originally posted by YanksFanRy
Saying that, it's better than her being a lawyer... hehe
:hmm: :angry:

whachu' talkin about, willis? :hmm:

:P there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a lawyer, man ;)

and no, no no no no way in hell would i date a stripper. first of all, it would drive me nuts. secondly, when it comes down to it, most strippers are pretty ****ed up. and if they're not ****ed up when they get into the business, they are by the time they are out of it.

it's a bad scene, and there's no way i'd date someone who was part of it.

[apmiller]

Would I be cool with it? BOO YEAH!!

Would I be cool with her doing it in front of others? NO! She's mine all MINE!! And I don't share well with others... :bash:

[Grimm]

I have a friend that bounced at a strip club. He told me that 99% of the dancers were not real people, they were just greedy charactures of people. They weren't anyone you wanted to know. Self-centered, vain, greedy, and living in their own little world. They have a tendancy to corrupt the new dancers into the same state of mind too. But there are a few who were worthwile human beings.

If I had a GF that wanted to strip, I would make her aware of the environment and the associated problems. If she still wanted to do it, fine. If she kept herself well centered thats ok, it doesn't really matter. If she adopted the traits of the other dancers, she wouldn't be a GF any more, not mine at least.

[welfareloser]

i'm going to agree with johnnymk (i bet she is testing you back after the bartender thing) and grimm...

if it doesn't change who she is, it's just a job and should be treated as such. if you guys aren't even living together, let alone married, it is her decision. it is also your decision whether or not you want to be with someone who does it. without getting mad or saying you don't want to "let" her do it, you can simply say that you'd rather date someone who had no form of sexual experience with anyone except you. that's very legit. even if she hates it, does it only for the money, never gets off on it, it's still a form of a sexual experience, and i sure wouldn't stay with a guy who stripped or a guy who went to strip clubs (without me, that is :P ). it is OKAY for you to not like the idea of her encouraging other guys to gett off on her, even if it's only visually, even if it's only for money, even if it's a perfectly respectable job. some people have different standards. some people don't get upset if their sig other kisses someone else at a party "just for fun." for some people, only sex is cheating. for me... well, for example, my ex, i found out after i left him, visited a "massage parlor" and got a hand-job. no, it wasn't sex, but it was a sexual experience, he sure as heck wasn't deprived of those by me, and thus, it was no different to me than if he had had sex with my best friend. (incidentally, he did it with the intent of hurting me enough to get me to leave him, but then chickened out on telling me about it the next morning, and spent the rest of our marriage deeply suspicious of ME cheating on HIM :hmm: )

i could have treated it as just a job. if i had bigger b**bs, any sense of rhythm whatsoever (i know you don't have to be a good dancer, but i feel like such a log when music is playing) and just a tiny bit less shame, i could see myself stripping for mega-cash in undergrad had i not had a bf - i wouldn't even consider it out of respect for the person i love, unless it was somehow the only way to make some desperately needed money.

i would, however, question your gf's motives in considering this job. sounds mighty suspicious to me. do you really want to be with someone who plays a headgame like this? it's incredibly manipulative, mean-spirited, self-centered and immature. instead of wanting to solve a potential problem... you know, maybe talking honestly about feelings and stuff... it's "i don't like your idea so i'm going to come up with a worse one to test you and hurt you like you hurt me! wheeee!" and where does that all end? :rolleyes:

if you do become a barkeeper, yes, women will come on to you. explain to your gf that you have a standard line that you quickly deliver to any woman who comes on to you - "i'm very much in love with someone else." tell her you would push a drunk chick away from you if she tried to touch you, even if it cost you a good tip. if that doesn't reassure her, maybe she's too suspicious.

on an unrelated topic - stripping is a dangerous job. she is more likely to be assaulted as a stripper than as a lone, late-night gas-station attendant at a desolate highway exit. there are stalkers, there are rude drunks, there are angry girlfriends, there are disturbed people in general. bouncers don't always get there in time when there's trouble, especially if someone waits for her in the parking lot, or follows her home. it's worth taking a good long look at the potential risks vs. the benefits.

[NuTs62]

Originally posted by molecularfire
it would drive me nuts.


Originally posted by whitak24
it would drive me nuts.

:hmm: where you driving, and why does it involve me?


as for response to the question, i wouldn't like it at all... i'd have major issues with it

[pennyFX]

I guess I forgot to mention that my sister is a dancer. Oh about what grimm said. I completely agree. My sister is Self-centered, vain, greedy, and living in her own little world. However, I was talking to her about it the other evening. It’s strange to hear her describe it because it doesn’t even seem sexual to her. She’s just working the crowd and taking money. She sees guys as ATM machines. Playing one guy to the next. Getting shot down over and over again, because she’s not a certain guys type.. etc. It doesn’t sound very sexual or even fun after hearing it from her. It actually sounds like work. She was also saying how some places are completely slimy with girls giving guys hand jobs and stuff and then there are other places that actually have standards and won’t allow that sort of stuff. Of course it depends on the establishment.

If my g/f was at a decent place, not a slimy one, I guess I wouldn’t mind AS much. I still wouldn’t like it, but I might be able to live with it for a while. I guess the whole reason that I’m actually giving this thought is because I don’t want to be a hard ass, possessive b/f and just say NO! I know that everyone needs some freedom to discover what they like and don’t like, but to a certain extent. This is just about on the edge. Hence the reason I’m asking for others opinions.

Welfareloser & grimm, you made a lot of good points.
Thanks everyone for your comments-

[Cubsfan]

There's no way I would date someone who did that (I don't consider it a matter of "letting" them do anything. They can do whatever they like). The one thing that I'm not sure has been mentioned is would you like to be enjoying a nice day shopping (Ok, nice for HER :)) and hear guys saying "Dude, that's that chick that rubber her _______ in my face last night!"

[angl2b]

Personally I would think my bf would be upset if I wanted to do something like that...I just think anyone in a really good relationship should realize doing something like that eventually may jeopardize something good you two have...it is not so much as a test of faith as something I think is morally incorrect...makes me sound weird for it...but I don't mean that I am good or morally right, but it strains a relationship...there are things that happens there in places like that, ppl shouldn't put themselves into situations that may be a potential problem in the long run, think long term not just short. If your gf is upset that you might become a bartender, how does she want you to handle about being an exotic dancer? I see double standard here....

[Jihforce]

You're starting to sound as if you have no choice. Why is it that you need to feel that you're possessive if you disagree with her "job"? A relationship is two-way. You're not making a decision for her, you are voicing your thoughts and concerns. Nothing wrong with that. If you feel uncomfortable with her being a dancer, then you tell her that. Obviously you forsee potential problems in the relationship. Now if she still wants to do it, then that's her being selfish and not caring about the relationship. That should pretty much tell you the type of person she is and how much regard she has for the relationship you two have.
One of my old roommates is a stripper. Its kind of sad to see that because once you're in, you tend to stay there. Then you gotta worry about people recognizing you and rumors spreading...etc...Not exactly what you call respectable. The money's really good, she can get away with working only a few times a month and pulling $3000 or so, cash.
If I were you, I wouldn't. There's much more life to live after your 20s, this sort of stuff comes back to hunt you sometimes.