A matter of perspective (or, trying to look at things differently)

[OC]

Patience. I'm far better than I used to be in this regard, but it's still not a strong suit of mine.

Remember my "fast forward" question? Well, I'm the fast-forward type. I want to see what happens next, NOW.

We finally kissed last night, and of course my mind is reeling and loaded with questions and possibilities.

I'm trying to look at it philosophically. Setting a goal and achieving it is a nice natural high. It's only human to want more of that. My knee-jerk reaction to that desire is to want to fast-forward, so to speak, to accomplish the next step to get more of that feeling. Of course, this doesn't work very well in practice.

The perspective I need is one of reflection. Take a deep breath, look back at what's happened, and enjoy the moment before moving on. With life the way it has been until recently, I've gotten out of "enjoying the moment". Life is improving though, and so I need to readjust my perspective.

So that's what I'm doing today. Reflecting. Reflecting on the steps that brought me here, and enjoying the fruits of my efforts.

Just thought I'd share. :)

-OC

[Merlin]

Right now I wish we had one of these :duh: with WTF on it.

[nickel]

aw c'mon Merlin. OC was being deep and heartfelt. i think it is good to reflect and live in the moment sometimes. LIKE SLOW DOWN. everything is so fast-rush-fast. chillin is a good thing. :)

[zenbooty]

Dude, just get on with it and bang her, already. Nothing kills the moment, or your chances, like "reflection" and too much thought in general. I've seen so many thoughtful people talk themselves out of getting laid. Live in the moment, be visceral for a change. Let the animal in you out! (and I don't mean just the one-eyed animal!). There'll be plenty of time to think and reflect after you've gotten your groove on. Until then, focus and strike when the moment is there!

[nickel]

Originally posted by zenbooty
Dude, just get on with it and bang her, already. Nothing kills the moment, or your chances, like "reflection" and too much thought in general. I've seen so many thoughtful people talk themselves out of getting laid. Live in the moment, be visceral for a change. Let the animal in you out! (and I don't mean just the one-eyed animal!). There'll be plenty of time to think and reflect after you've gotten your groove on. Until then, focus and strike when the moment is there!

every kiss doesn't have to lead to banging, does it?
it was the first kiss. savor the flavor

[whitak24]

Originally posted by zenbooty
Dude, just get on with it and bang her, already.
how did nija log in under zenbooty's account? :hmm:

[eSDee]

Originally posted by zenbooty
Dude, just get on with it and bang her, already. Nothing kills the moment, or your chances, like "reflection" and too much thought in general. I've seen so many thoughtful people talk themselves out of getting laid. Live in the moment, be visceral for a change. Let the animal in you out! (and I don't mean just the one-eyed animal!). There'll be plenty of time to think and reflect after you've gotten your groove on. Until then, focus and strike when the moment is there!

:heh: I can't really say I agree, but that's funny.

OC, reflection is good, but don't dwell on it as your final accomplishment. Try to make the next steps as natural and pure as the one you just accomplished.

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by nickelback
every kiss doesn't have to lead to banging, does it?
it was the first kiss. savor the flavor Since you're a girl, I will forgive you for this brief lapse in judgement :D .

No, not every kiss has to lead to banging. But from the male point of view, it would be better if every kiss did. ;)

[zenbooty]

Well, unless you're kissing family members, or greeting Europeans, or kissing the pope's hand :heh:

[nickel]

Originally posted by zenbooty
Since you're a girl, I will forgive you for this brief lapse in judgement :D .

No, not every kiss has to lead to banging. But from the male point of view, it would be better if every kiss did. ;)

you don't know me too well do you? :winkie:

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by nickelback
you don't know me too well do you? :winkie: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Don't tell me your not a girl, now. I just don't need that kind of revelation at this point in my day.

[chadlnc]

Originally posted by Merlin
Right now I wish we had one of these :duh: with WTF on it.

http://www.polleo.com/images/wtf.gif

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by whitak24

how did nija log in under zenbooty's account? :hmm:

:heh: :heh:

there is a certain beauty to a long, slow build-up of anticipation... i can remember being in love with someone, and slowly realizing that the feeling was returned... one day there's a "look" ... a few weeks later, he goes out of his way to do something nice... within a few months, you're an "item."

i've never taken a relationship slowly, myself. if it's not worth doing balls-out (so to speak) then it must not be worth doing.

elapsed time from first kiss to first :naughty:

first love, at age 15....... 10 months
second love, at age 17....... 2 months
ftf fling, at age 26......... 1 hour
love of my life, at age 26... 5 minutes

good thing i'm quitting here, cuz the next guy would get laid before getting kissed :hmm:

[mcs328]

Can't you kiss and bang, bang, bang THEN reflect? :P

[welfareloser]

Originally posted by nickelback


every kiss doesn't have to lead to banging, does it?
it was the first kiss. savor the flavor

what good is a romantic kiss if it DOESN'T lead to banging?

[nickel]

a kiss at your doorstep after a first date should lead to an invite in for sex? i don't think he'll respect you much in the morning.

[OC]

In case anyone is wondering, this isn't angeleyes. And I hope it goes without saying that I want things to go further.

Some women you just want to bang. With others you want more. This one is in the second category.

-OC

[revil]

Originally posted by overclocked
Some women you just want to bang. With others you want more. This one is in the second category.
Why can't you have both?

[faither]

Originally posted by welfareloser


what good is a romantic kiss if it DOESN'T lead to banging?
Amen, sister. Can I send you my wife's e-mail address. :D

[topane]

OC, it's good you seem so happy. Do whatever you're comfortable with. And if/when you get that far, call out my name.

[Jenny]

If I know oc like I think I do (& I could be way off. ;) ), here's what I think he is feeling and what he means...

He really thinks there is a potential for this relationship to go somewhere. He wants to take it slow to see if the romantic feelings are there, rather than just the sexual attraction & the need to bang bang bang. Rather than just wanting her to be a girlfriend that he gets to have sex with, he wants to see if this could turn into something permanent, in which case, why rush the sex? Let the feelings develop first.






Now, my personal thought for everyone. When did premarital sex become so common place that no one ever thinks anything about it? No, I didn't wait til I was married. But looking back, I wish I had. I know my hubby feels the same about himself. :shrug: I dunno. Just a thought I had.

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by overclocked
In case anyone is wondering, this isn't angeleyes. And I hope it goes without saying that I want things to go further.

Some women you just want to bang. With others you want more. This one is in the second category.

:disa:

I hate to say it, but these sound like the famous last words of "just a good friend," if you know what I mean.

[revil]

Originally posted by Jenny
He wants to take it slow to see if the romantic feelings are there, rather than just the sexual attraction & the need to bang bang bang.
"I don't want no relationship! I just want bang bang bang!"

[Merlin]

Without a doubt...this is my favorite thread of the day.

[Merlin]

Originally posted by welfareloser


what good is a romantic kiss if it DOESN'T lead to banging?

Right on! I knew I liked you for a reason. And is it just me or does something seem quite wrong to have nickleback being the prude of the thread. :P

[whitak24]

Originally posted by Merlin


Right on! I knew I liked you for a reason. And is it just me or does something seem quite wrong to have nickleback being the prude of the thread. :P
she must have been embarrassed by the "nickelback, why the fire down below?" thread last week :P

[whitak24]

Originally posted by faither

Amen, sister. Can I send you my wife's e-mail address. :D
why do you need that? she's already supposed to be debriefing you. isn't that enough, or are you getting greedy today? :hihi:

:P

[welfareloser]

i don't understand how sex should GET IN THE WAY of developing a deep and meaningful relationship. you can have sex after you've developed something meaningful, or you can have sex earlier, then develop something meaningful. if nothing meaningful develops, you knock it off, and you still got laid, so everybody's happy!

seriously. i'm not advocating sex on the first date with someone you hardly know if it makes you uncomfortable. but women who are following some dr-laura-oprah-cosmo-magazine rulebook in their heads to the point that they artificially restrain themselves from having sex when they really WANT to do it is just ridiculous. i understand not having sex with someone you don't know well enough to feel good about having sex with, or holding back for reasons of health, but holding back to make sure it doesn't "ruin the relationship" is just crap. sex improves relationships. that's what it's all about.

i think guys should run like hell from any woman who wants him to "prove" this and that and blah blah blah before she allows herself to bestow her sexuality on him. "yes, i really like you, and i really want to make looooove to you, but don't you think it would be more meaningful if we waited? i mean, like, will you still respect me, and stuff?" christ, she'll never be less of a pain in the ass than that, so why stick around?

again, if it's some thing where there are certain things a woman doesn't want to do before marriage, that's cool. or if the woman isn't sure how she feels yet, that's cool. but the rulebook artificiality is a BIG red flag of more stupidity to come.