Would you mind if your best friend ...

[brainsmile]

Came out of the closet and told you he/she was gay?

Honest answer please.

Would you be able to handle it if then they said that they had a thing for you but would try to deal with it if you weren't interested?

This message is motivated by Attgig getting a AOL PM from a gay automated message.

ATT is in no way gay to my knowledge. :)

whoops posted in wrong forum. GAM please put in off topic

[Apex]

That would piss me off to no end, since my best friend is my wife.

[brainsmile]

ha ha ha... let's assume your best friend is of the same gender :)

[Nija]

wouldn't bother me.

[Peachhead]

It wouldnt bother me, although the part about having a thing for me might freak me out a little bit. All in all though I dont think it would be any different from me having a thing for my female best friend (if I did).

[zenbooty]

If he told me he was gay, it wouldn't bother me.
If he had a crush on me, he should keep it to himself. I don't wanna know. If he tells me, it can only mean he wants to take our friendship somewhere else and that would definitely hurt the friendship. We might stay friends, but if we were to continue being best close friends human nature says problems would inevitably arise.

[GraingerGuy]

I think I would be the same as Peachhead....a little freaked out at first and then it would blow over and things would be cool.

[topane]

I'd probably be a little annoyed because I didn't know, but I don't think I'd really care otherwise. If his brain is wired a bit different, there's not a whole lot anyone can do about it.

If he had "a thing for me" I'd be a bit weirded out. I'm with Zen that it would hurt the friendship if he approached me. Then again, there was that one time in college when I knocked hoey out... :shifty:

[xsiled2]

id rather be told early on in the relationship and establish the fact that its a friendship no more, if someone told me like a year or something after i met them that would creep me out and what would happen after words would be completely dependant on how they went about telling me. if they had a thing for me that would end it right there. to creep, i dont need that stress...

[NuTs62]

:stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

[Pinkgirl36]

I had a friend is HS, one of my really really really close friends, we always thought he was a bit on the gay side, but never really said anything about it.
About a year and a half ago he told me he was dating "someone" but didn't want to tell me so I wouldn't freak out, I was like ok..
So then he showed me the dude's picture...
Didn't really phase me... After he told me I think I asked what he was up to that night so we could go out and do something or something...don't really matter..I could care less...It's their life not mine, and I wouldn't think less of them or anything because of it...

[hang10wannabe]

depends... if they are just a good friend, then i wounldnt mind, but if they were say... a good friend i had feelings towards (girls only), then it might upset me, say if i really liked her i would be upset since i wouldnt have a chance anymore :(

[nickel]

i had a best friend in HS who turned out to be lez. we all kinda suspected it, and she never did really come out and say it. but i could give a shiz. she was a blast, and a great friend and she didn't make any passes at our asses. :D

[dbax791]

Umm, yeah...because he has a wife and 3 kids! :P

[ShawnLee]

I would be freaked out with my best friend, but then this is friend specific. Most friends, I'd probably be disturbed. I'd like to say that it'd eventually become cool, but with all honesty? It probably wouldn't be. I mean, if a friend was honest about it, and I was friends with him and he was pretending to be straight, I think I'd be offended that he hid it, more than anything. Of course, if a guy hit on me, there'd be no way that I could be friends with him, that'd be wrong.

I'm not homophobic, I'm just scared of gay people.

[Aristo]

Though I'm not gay, I have a couple openly gay friends and they don't bother me at all.

[Johnnymac]

I had a buddy of mine that came out after we had known each other a while. It didn't bother me that he was gay, but it did bother me that he turned into super queen right away. It seemed he was a totally different person. He is as different like that anymore and we have talked about what he went through during that time. It seems he got so caught up in the freedom of coming out that he took it to an extreme. I guess he never got to express that side of himself and when he finally came out he went all out. It did impact the friendship in that I have a hard time trusting someone who's personality changed so much. It's really not a sexuality thing, it was a trust issue. Time has fixed that though.

[ShawnLee]

Originally posted by cracker
It didn't bother me that he was gay, but it did bother me that he turned into super queen right away. It seemed he was a totally different person.

Isn't that what happened with Ellen Degeneres? She came out, and suddenly, she was the posterchild for all of the lesbians in the world? Suddenly Oprah calls her a hero. I was just thinking, if she were a hero, wouldn't she have come out and let it be known earlier instead of hiding it? I don't know, but that's just me.

[ArkiStan]

Personally, it was all cool. Until he cryptonym.

BTW, very interesting perspective cracker. Never thought of it that way.

[oblongmelon]

nope-one of my oldest friends is gay-he thought I didn't know-but AHA-women always know-especially when a guy critiques your makeup-it's a dead giveaway.

[ufcrusher]

One of my fraternity brothers and good friends was "in the closet" all during college. Everyone thought he was gay, but he denied it fully. So after college, he finally confided to me that he was gay and once out of his parents proximity came out in FORCE. I personally could care less and told him as such, it didnt matter to me. However, apparently after so many years in the closet, he went anti-straights and just dealt with fellow homosexuals. This was such a good friend that he lived with me and my family for a few months when we first went to law school.

About a year after the last time I spoke with him, we were speaking on the phone, and he confided to me that he had had a problem with dealing with straight people, and unfortunately that included me. He then told me that he wanted to start hanging out again...although at this point its been nearly another year since then and he hasnt given me a call.

I had another friend who decided to tell me that he was bisexual in a way that I didnt particularly like, because it seemed more like a proposition then anythng else. After I made sure he realized that I didnt swing that way, we remained friends. The funny thing is after about a year he decided he was actually only straight and apparently was doing it because it was "chic" and he wanted to impress a chick.

[RoniMan]

actually it did happen to me. my best friend (who most of us figured he was gay) was very scared when he came out of the closet, but it didn't phase me. we're still best friends.

[hapoo]

Originally posted by hang10wannabe
depends... if they are just a good friend, then i wounldnt mind, but if they were say... a good friend i had feelings towards (girls only), then it might upset me, say if i really liked her i would be upset since i wouldnt have a chance anymore :(



You shouldn't be too upset, its not like you have a chance with straight girls anyway :P
I kid, I kid :D


If I knew the person was gay, or at least suspected it it wouldn't make a difference. If they told me later on and i had no idea, so long as they don't look in my direction i'm fine. But no matter what the case, if they said they had a thing for me it would pretty much be over with.

[ShawnLee]

Originally posted by ufcrusher
...after about a year he decided he was actually only straight and apparently was doing it because it was "chic" and he wanted to impress a chick.

I know that girls like hanging out with gay guys, but being attracted to them? I wonder what it says about girls that go after guys who do other guys.

[ArkiStan]

Originally posted by ShawnLee105
I wonder what it says about girls that go after guys who do other guys.

So you're actually saying you wouldn't jump in on some girl-on-girl action if you could? :confused:

[guiseppewv]

Originally posted by brainsmile
Came out of the closet and told you he/she was gay?

Honest answer please.

Would you be able to handle it if then they said that they had a thing for you but would try to deal with it if you weren't interested?

This message is motivated by Attgig getting a AOL PM from a gay automated message.

ATT is in no way gay to my knowledge. :)

whoops posted in wrong forum. GAM please put in off topic

It would irritate me b/c my best friend is married and has a kid.

[mcs328]

Originally posted by Apex
That would piss me off to no end, since my best friend is my wife.

Hmm...so any FFM action would be inappropriate.

How about if they went boths ways? Or is the question if they were only interested in the same gender?

[whitak24]

for me, given my specific best friend, it wouldn't bother me. (there are some people who think he's gay; however, i know him well enough that i know he's not....unless he's just suppressed it within himself to the point where he doesn't realize it).

anyway, we're just on a level where we are different in a lot of ways but we have a certain bond where we're just cool with each other. and so if suddenly he announced he was gay....fine. let it be.

now if he started to try to make moves on me.....i'm with zen. it would be uncomfortable. but i don't think it would be the end of the friendship, as long as my lack of interest was established and respected.

[WhiskeyPapa]

I'll have to assume it's some imaginary unmarried best friend, since pretty much all my good friends are married with kids, and that's probably not what you meant by the question.

In total, complete honesty: While I think I'd do fine with the idea that he's gay, I don't think I could handle stuff like him bringing his "S.O." over for game night, or stuff like that.

Maybe if he was a celibate gay man... Yeah, I'd be just fine with that! :)

[soong]

same thing here... I had a friend who was a womanizer and ppl always teased he'd be better gay, cause he was stylistic and fastidious... but he came out after he graduated. and we lost contact. I was stunned and upset. I thought our friendship was deep enough so he could tell me anything. That was what hurt. I mean i understand that he was denying it himself but ... I just felt left out... upset he was gay... pffft. Wish i could find him now and re establish our friendship...

[rtse313]

Originally posted by brainsmile
Came out of the closet and told you he/she was gay?

Honest answer please.

Would you be able to handle it if then they said that they had a thing for you but would try to deal with it if you weren't interested?

This message is motivated by Attgig getting a AOL PM from a gay automated message.

ATT is in no way gay to my knowledge. :)

whoops posted in wrong forum. GAM please put in off topic

that would be great.... cuz his wife is HOT !!! :D

[bachviet]

It wouldn't bother me either. :angel: