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OC
05-29-2003, 11:30 AM
Dear dude or dudette,

I'm like TOTALLY qualified for the job you advertised for. Like, check out my resume and stuff.

Gotta bail,

OC
coleslaw
05-29-2003, 11:36 AM
Dear Jeffery,

We regret to inform you that the position for which you have applied is currently being filled by in-house personnel. Perhaps if you had shown the least bit of intelligence and respect in your cover letter we would have considered you for this position.

I hear that there is an opening on Uranus. I suggest that you check it out.

Sincerely,
Stuck-up HR snob
zenbooty
05-29-2003, 11:50 AM
Dear Boss Man,
I am the total shiznit and will blow you away with my Mad Skillz. I have no resume, but would be happy to give you an autograph if you want. We'll do lunch soon.

Ciao
hoey222
05-29-2003, 12:28 PM
yo a55munch

gimme da bling bling
GraingerGuy
05-29-2003, 03:40 PM
I don't know if you heard....but we're putting cover sheets on our TPS reports now. So, if you could just do that, that would be greeeat.
revil
05-29-2003, 04:41 PM
Originally posted by GraingerGuy
I don't know if you heard....but we're putting cover sheets on our TPS reports now. So, if you could just do that, that would be greeeat.
here you go, Just in case you didn't get it.

http://eecs.oregonstate.edu/~hendripa/ga/TPSreport.gif
coleslaw
05-29-2003, 10:22 PM
I hope I didn't jinx you, OC! :hmm:
wrkngirl
05-30-2003, 11:40 AM
(a friend of mine wrote this for my website after my old company went through round 3 or 4 of layoffs...)


THE RECRUITERS' NEW COLOSSUS (with due credit and apologies to Emma Lazarus)

by Fukket Van Decker III


Dear FIRST NAME,

Send us your stupid, your lazy, your recently unemployed, your low self-esteemed, your wretched pathetic worthless slaves.....
Let them land on our bright and shining shores thinking they have found new prosperity, where we will promptly cast the yoke about their necks in their moments of weakness...
Let them work for minimal wages until we can get the law changed and it becomes legal to pay them in cans of Spam and Mighty Dog....
Let them fall under the boot of the corporate dictatorship so we may squeeze them under heel until their marrow runs and we cast aside their burned-out husk......
Let them become our dogs, that they may lick our hands and beg for handouts.....
Send them to us, for we have a place for them....

Sincerely,

Rob R. Baron
Monolith Enterprises