Best Friend is no more!!!

[Cheesypuff]

This sucks!!! My bestfriend just gave up 7 year long friendship with me due beucase of a stupid argument that should have been overwith. But becuase she wanted to keep her pride...she ran away from the problem (me), and totally just blew off a 7 year relationship that I valued very much! DAMMIT!!!

[sbp]

Sorry to hear it Cheesypuff.

Sad that people will throw away years of friendship over something that really isn't all that important. Some don't know when to say when to move on pass disagreements.

[Nija]

Blame it on PMS.

Then try to talk to her in another week to see if she's more rational.

If it doesn't work, blame it on PMS, especially since it's always the woman's fault :shifty:

[brainsmile]

if you don't mind...can you elaborate on the issue in question?

[faither]

That sucks, Dude. I hope everything works out.

[Cheesypuff]

Originally posted by brainsmile
if you don't mind...can you elaborate on the issue in question?

I guess I could elaborate on this...but there is a word limit on the postings, and I'll make that limit way too ez.

But Why is my friend breaking off this 7 year friendship of this stupid argument that could have been dealt with if she only said it wasn't totally my fault, and part her's!!! Dammit, this isn't highschool anymore! Suck up your pride and get over it...but noooo...lets just not talk to me anymore becuase SHE can't face the FACTS!!!

[whitak24]

dude that sucks.

but as others have said......give it some time. hopefully, she'll get over it (to some extent, at least), and be willing to discuss the issue rationally.

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by Cheesypuff
I guess I could elaborate on this...but there is a word limit on the postings, and I'll make that limit way too ez.

But Why is my friend breaking off this 7 year friendship of this stupid argument that could have been dealt with if she only said it wasn't totally my fault, and part her's!!! Dammit, this isn't highschool anymore! Suck up your pride and get over it...but noooo...lets just not talk to me anymore becuase SHE can't face the FACTS!!! If the friendship is so important, why can't you just give in, right or wrong, let her have her victory and move on? Is it really so important that she admit to blame that you're willing to allow the situation to escalate to this point?

[brainsmile]

problem depends on the friend... if they will let it go afterwards or just keep mentioning how cheesy was wrong when he doesn't think he was

[sbp]

Originally posted by Cheesypuff
I guess I could elaborate on this...but there is a word limit on the postings, and I'll make that limit way too ez.

But Why is my friend breaking off this 7 year friendship of this stupid argument that could have been dealt with if she only said it wasn't totally my fault, and part her's!!! Dammit, this isn't highschool anymore! Suck up your pride and get over it...but noooo...lets just not talk to me anymore becuase SHE can't face the FACTS!!! There is a 15,000 character limit on postings. If need be it can be raised. Of course there is nothing to stop 2 posts in a row. Now spill the beans hombre. :dodgy:

[xsiled2]

Originally posted by sbp
There is a 15,000 character limit on postings. If need be it can be raised. Of course there is nothing to stop 2 posts in a row. Now spill the beans hombre. :dodgy:

:stupid: :cool: :eek:

[Cheesypuff]

Hmmm...spill the beans...well here it goes. I really don't feel like typing my whole situaltion out...so here it is in a nutshell. since sbp asked for it.

I guess it might not seem that big of a deal to some of you. But here it goes. My other friend was taking some drugs and he decided to brag to me that we was doing so. I told him my opinion on why I don't like like drugs and told him reasons why he shouldn't be doing such things. Well, since I tell my bestfriend pretty much everthing, I broght up the idea of telling this dudes parents or calling for some help from some pro and stuff. Mind you, this was only an idea. I was not going to do such things...it was just a idea. I said to my bestfriend that it was only a idea, but took it as, I'm acutally going to do so. So she goes ahead and tells my druggie friend that I AM going to tell his parents about his addiction! Which then got my druggie friend really pissed off...and he IM'ed me and totally threatened me that he will "not hesitate to spend a couple hundred bucks to come to California and kick my ass." Quoted directly! Well, as I am...I truely don't take well to threats, and I stated, you can't tell me what or what I can't say, thats up to me! If I want to tell your parents, that my right to. He said that it wansn't my right to do so, so stay out of his business. I added on to that and said, "hey, you knew my take on drugs before you bragged to me that you wanted were doing that stuff, so by bragging to me, you invited me to be in your business!" And thats another story in itself. Well, word got back to my bestfriend that I retaliated to this guys threat, and she totally took the side of the druggie, and insulted me like none other. It was odd to me that she would do such a thing. Well, the thing was, was that I shot down all her points that she was making towards me, and she got mad, and said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. Pretty much to keep her pride and run away from things.

What would you guys do in my position? From what you have heard so far? I mean, I'm not going to stand around and let her degrade me like that. One, I never in insulted her in anyway, two, I was only defending myself from her harsh statements! And three, I for one did not do anything wrong. If she wants to give up a 7 year relationship for a stupid druggie, then by all means. I will not stand in her way. Dammit what the hell is wrong with her.

[Cantacuzene]

I dunno. Doing drugs is his business not yours, even if he talked to you about it. Frankly, I think the whole situation with the female friend is just a misunderstanding. Just explain to her that you were just concerned about your friend's health but you wont bring it up again and that you should look at it as water under the bridge and be friends again. I hope you didnt say anything to/about her that you will regret.

[Memo]

Here's my take on it: it's none of your business if he does drugs. You broke his trust in your and thus you broke the friendship with him, no one likes a tattle tell. Now your best friend....if she took the side of the "druggie" then perhaps she may like this "druggie" guy. Like I said, no one likes a tattle tell, you may think that telling someones parents would be the "adult" thing to do, but many people would see it as very childish. Also, you may have thought that you shot down all her points, but this seems to be an argument about opinion and morals, which vary from people to people, so while you may think that you shot down her points, she probably views it as your unwillingness to view both sides of the argument.

[xsiled2]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
Doing drugs is his business not yours, even if he talked to you about it.

sure it is, he invited him into this guys problem, i know quite a few people that do hardcore drugs and indirectly invite everyone around them into their problem. perhaps this guys issue isnt as bad but still.

as for the girl, the problem is the akwardness of your future confrontation. if you can get past that, i wish you luck with a future relationship with her, i have had similar things happen to me where there was complete refusal of the "her" part to take back what she said and realize what happened.

bleh... its all madness, i wish you well.

[xsiled2]

Originally posted by UT Memo
You broke his trust in your and thus you broke the friendship with him, no one likes a tattle tell.

he never told anyone...

[Cantacuzene]

I tell my friends about my problems all the time. Rarely do I expect them to do anythign about them, and even more rarely would I want them to discuss my personal problems with other people without me being there.

The ONLY and I mean ONLY times when my friends could tell me something that would cause me to take action behind their backs is a. a heinous crime, like murder or rape; b. they are talking suicidal.

[GraingerGuy]

Originally posted by UT Memo
Here's my take on it: it's none of your business if he does drugs. You broke his trust in your and thus you broke the friendship with him, no one likes a tattle tell. Now your best friend....if she took the side of the "druggie" then perhaps she may like this "druggie" guy. Like I said, no one likes a tattle tell, you may think that telling someones parents would be the "adult" thing to do, but many people would see it as very childish. Also, you may have thought that you shot down all her points, but this seems to be an argument about opinion and morals, which vary from people to people, so while you may think that you shot down her points, she probably views it as your unwillingness to view both sides of the argument.

It's tattling if you care about what your friend is doing to himself? You don't like the fact that he is killing himself by taking drugs and are going to tell someone and that makes you a bad person? Then count me into that "tattletale" group of people.

And I do think that Cheesy's friend made it Cheesy's business when he told Cheesy. You don't tell someone something like that and not expect them to do nothing. Besides...like xsiled2 said...he didn't tell anyone.

[revil]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
The ONLY and I mean ONLY times when my friends could tell me something that would cause me to take action behind their backs is a. a heinous crime, like murder or rape; b. they are talking suicidal.
You mean all your talking behind my back was not to plan a suprise birthday party for me?! :bawl: I'm going to kill myself now! :bawl:









:shifty:

[speedracer120]

I'm gonna have to agree with Cheesy on this one. If my friends told me about their drug abuse I'd take it as some sort of call for help or attention. C'mon who in their right mind publicizes a problem unless they want something to occur?

But I do see the "logic" of all sides, before talking to anyone else about it I would've asked, "So what do you want me to do about it? Do you want my help or something?"

[Cheesypuff]

Look, all I mentioned to my bestfriend was that I was thinking about getting help for my druggie friend...Why you may ask...becuase because even through all his threats and harsh words, I knew him before his drug taking, and I know he is a good guy. And I don't want that to go to waste by f-ing drugs! And anyways, by telling a pro or his parents about his drugs, it was only a last resort in which I have no other thing I myself can humanly do. I would try anything in my power to try to convice him that drugs are bad, without mentioning anything to anyone! But what did my bestfriend go and do? She went all out and told this druggie, that I WAS going to do tell someone, and thats what pretty much brought all this up!

Let me tell you guys, if anybody was the damn tattletale it would be my bestfriend! Cantacuzene, I also tell my friends my problems also, and they do also to me. But I do go to others and ask for advice on what I should do. Is that so wrong? I mean I trusted my bestfriend and asked her what I should do with the situation, but what does she go do? She told my druggie friend that I was acually going to tell his parents! If I didn't make it apparent in my last posts! I NEVER TOLD ANYBODY!

UT, so you're telling me that if your friends knew that you didn't like drugs and you totally opposed it, and they BRAGGED to you anyways, you wouldn't be a little concerned about their well being? You wouldn't DISCUSS options on how to help them? Which is all the business I went into. I can't just sit back and see my friend get hurt, I have to list out options on how to try to help this guy out! Tell me, is that so wrong for me to do?

[molecularfire]

Uh... a question for cheesy... when you're druggie friend threatened you, did you at any point in that conversation tell him that you probably wasn't going to tell them? I mean... he was under the impression that you were going to tell on him... that's why he threatened you. It's one thing to defend yourself from threats (I would've probably done the same thing in your situation because I HATE getting threatened), but during that conversation, did you clear up that misunderstanding.

btw: I had friends who did drugs. You can't help them... until they're ready. Unfortunately, sometimes, they have to bleed for themselves. JMO.

[brainsmile]

I'd have apex settle it...

[Cheesypuff]

Originally posted by molecularfire
Uh... a question for cheesy... when you're druggie friend threatened you, did you at any point in that conversation tell him that you probably wasn't going to tell them? I mean... he was under the impression that you were going to tell on him... that's why he threatened you. It's one thing to defend yourself from threats (I would've probably done the same thing in your situation because I HATE getting threatened), but during that conversation, did you clear up that misunderstanding.

btw: I had friends who did drugs. You can't help them... until they're ready. Unfortunately, sometimes, they have to bleed for themselves. JMO.

I told him, it's my choice on whether or not I tell. But I did make it clear that it wasn't in my best interest to spill the beans to his parents. So thus I wasn't planning to tell. But I also did acknowledge to him that NO one is going to tell me what to do...expecially if they do so in a threat!

[Cantacuzene]

I think you were being a jerk for bringing it up in the first place. Will you please tell me what type of drugs it was? If it was heroine perhaps I'll agree with you, but if you freaked out this hard over pot I'll maintain that you were in teh wrong on this whole situation.

[xsiled2]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
I think you were being a jerk for bringing it up in the first place. ...you freaked out this hard over pot I'll maintain that you were in teh wrong on this whole situation.

and thats your opinion.

i dont think he "freaked" ot in the least bit. he was worried about his friends and his friends freaked on him. just because his friends were f***tards doesnt mean he is in the wrong.

[GraingerGuy]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
I think you were being a jerk for bringing it up in the first place. Will you please tell me what type of drugs it was? If it was heroine perhaps I'll agree with you, but if you freaked out this hard over pot I'll maintain that you were in teh wrong on this whole situation.

Yes...because it's pot it's not any less addictive or dangerous. :rolleyes:

[Cantacuzene]

Originally posted by GraingerGuy


Yes...because it's pot it's not any less addictive or dangerous. :rolleyes:

How many people have OD'ed on pot? How many people go through withdrawls whcih cause them serious medical harm when they quit pot? That's right, none. Don't try to say marijuana is in teh same league at cocaine or heroine.

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by GraingerGuy
Yes...because it's pot it's not any less addictive or dangerous. :rolleyes:

Pot in and of itself isn't that bad. The reason I don't smoke it is because of asthma. Sure you can have loss of muscle control and fade in an out of consciousness just as though you were drunk, but there isn't the corresponding loss of judgement like there is with alcohol.

That, and ANYTHING can be addictive. Hell, look at G|A? :hihi:

Anyway, I don't fully agree with how you handled the situation either. First, if you found out about him being a druggie and were concerned, you should have went to him first. Second, "parents" is just not the right word to bring up in this kind of scenario, ever. You're trying to calm him down and listen to your side of the argument, not incite him. Third, sometimes it's just none of your business. A lot of people in this world think that it is ther job to save people from themselves, but most of the time, it is best just to let them live and learn on their own.

If your friend were really in dire need of help, you would have been better off talking to him and trying to set up an appointment with some sort of drug abuse counselor. They are usually much more charismatic, knowledgeable, and unimposing than family or friends. That way, you could have pointed your friend in the direction of help, but it is still a journey that he would have had to take on his own.

[molecularfire]

Pot in and of itself isn't that bad. The reason I don't smoke it is because of asthma. Sure you can have loss of muscle control and fade in an out of consciousness just as though you were drunk, but there isn't the corresponding loss of judgement like there is with alcohol.
Really... there is no loss of judgement? Then why does everything seem so funny when you're high?

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by molecularfire

Really... there is no loss of judgement? Then why does everything seem so funny when you're high?

Because it is. :P

But seriously, try to think in earnest when you are high. Your judgement is still there... in fact, your mental faculties are still there as well.

[Cantacuzene]

If I was forced to choose, I'd rather be in a car with a high driver than a drunk one and I believe everyone else would too. Granted neither are good choices, but obviously one is better than the other.

But I digress, arguing abotu pot isnt the issue. He hasn't even mentioned that it was pot. It could very well be cocaine, Cheesy just hasnt said. If it was coke or smack I think he has a right to be concerned because those drugs are life destroyers in ways which marijuana is not. Even then I question his handling of it. I would still like to know which drug it was he is "abusing."

[Cheesypuff]

Originally posted by Ladogaboy


Anyway, I don't fully agree with how you handled the situation either. First, if you found out about him being a druggie and were concerned, you should have went to him first. Second, "parents" is just not the right word to bring up in this kind of scenario, ever. You're trying to calm him down and listen to your side of the argument, not incite him. Third, sometimes it's just none of your business. A lot of people in this world think that it is ther job to save people from themselves, but most of the time, it is best just to let them live and learn on their own.

If your friend were really in dire need of help, you would have been better off talking to him and trying to set up an appointment with some sort of drug abuse counselor. They are usually much more charismatic, knowledgeable, and unimposing than family or friends. That way, you could have pointed your friend in the direction of help, but it is still a journey that he would have had to take on his own.

I think I handled the situation very well untill he threated me!!! Then I retaliated back and said it was not his choice wheather I told anybody or not! And pretty much, I would have confronted him except, I go to my bestfriend and seek advice before I usually make any big decisions. I don't think thats not out of the ordinary. But something went wrong!


Originally posted by Cantacuzene
I think you were being a jerk for bringing it up in the first place.

If you look back a few post back, it was ONLY a SUGGESTION to tell anybody!!! It was a suggestion to my bestfriend in which I thought I had trust not to tell anybody else on my thoughts. No less the druggie himself! now tell me canta...how am I a jerk for that? A plain suggestion on how to help my friend. I would have been the jerk if I didn't bring up anything at all! As for the intensity of the drugs...I personally don't think that it matters one bit. But FYI, he would smoke pot, drop acid, get prozac or some other kinds of antidepressant, and other stuff I don't remember!!! It is my right as a friend to be concerned for another friend. Don't tell me that I can't be concerned. Don't tell me I can't talk to my bestfriend about my problems. Because through it all, I can't hold all this info stored up inside me, I have to tell someone...and who else then my bestfriend. But then, she got the impression that hey, I should tell the druggie everything that Cheesypuff just trustfully told me. Then BOOM! My bestfriend broke the trust we had...she broke it, and now I'm here looking like the bad guy? How the fvck did you guys come up with that? How am I the damn bad guy?

[Cantacuzene]

Because its not your life. Granted your friend isnt making the best choices he could but the extent of your involvement in it should be to say "dude I think you should ease up on the dope a little bit." If he listens to you good if not, it isant your job. You placed yourself in a bad situation that you needn't have been in.

[sbp]

If the druggie didn't want another in his dumb business, he shouldn't open up the bragging big mouth. :dodgy:

Lets see...Cheesypuff consults with best friend about what to do with dopehead. After all, as a pal Cheesypuff is concerned about druggie. What happens instead? Cheesypuff gets made out as the heavy. So typical the lamer who engages in the bad behavior acts like they are the wronged party.

Druggie was probably looking to get Cheesypuff into that whole scene and since Cheesy didn't go for it thats yet another thing the dopehead holds against Cheesy. :rolleyes:

Seems like from the start, bestfriend has been taking the druggie side. Bestfriend might be sweet on druggie which is yet another example of girls choosing a loser.

Many times dummies into drugs only hear what they want to. Furthermore, those threats by druggie could be the drugs influencing.

Good for you for standing up to the dip.

And if druggie is living under his parents roof, his problematic behavior is their concern.

Though it hurts, you are better off without either of those two. Good riddance to the b1tches.

[GraingerGuy]

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
How many people have OD'ed on pot? How many people go through withdrawls whcih cause them serious medical harm when they quit pot? That's right, none. Don't try to say marijuana is in teh same league at cocaine or heroine.

You're right...it's not in the same class as coke/heroin/etc. BUT, it is still very harmful. Got|Cancer? Got|Black lungs? Got|acting completely retarded?


Originally posted by Cantacuzene
Because its not your life. Granted your friend isnt making the best choices he could but the extent of your involvement in it should be to say "dude I think you should ease up on the dope a little bit." If he listens to you good if not, it isant your job. You placed yourself in a bad situation that you needn't have been in.

It's not his life...but it is the life of his friend. This guy and Cheesy were really good friends before, and I know that Cheesy still cares about this guy and what he does with his life. I have friends that care about me like that...and if I were screwing my life up, I would want then to do something.

And yes...I am thinking like that now because I am not doing stupid crap like getting high. I might not think that if I were getting hugh...but then I wouldn't be thinking straight would I?