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View Full Version : Need some final advice (hopefully last time)


ski
07-30-2003, 12:11 PM
Hey guys, I just figured something out and it may lead to the end of my problems :) So can you help me out, this one last time?

I finally figured out what's caused me to be so messed up since April. By messed up, I mean, I can't get past the first date with a girl, I've been avoiding my friends and parents, and my usual A and B+ grades have gone to B- and C's...

All the time I was fighting the rape accusation, I was so focused on clearing my name that dealing with the fact she did something that I told her not to do wasn't as important. Once I got my name cleared, I never dealt with the "sexual misconduct" that had happened to me. So I read more about it today, about how after an unwanted sexual act, a man (this is true of women rape victims) can become avoidant, socially distant, have flashbacks of it, and become scared of either the place or person involved (hence my puking reflex when I think I see her, I hate getting graphic like that :()

What I need help on is this: do I explain this to my friends, explain why I've been a "worse" friend and explain it to the girls that I've tried to date, mainly the girl who's the daughter of my boss in the fall?

I don't want them to think that I'm digging up the past for sympathy, and I'd really like to be done with this whole thing, bury the hatchet, and move on, but is it better to move on or explain what happened?

TIA
:angel:
zenbooty
07-30-2003, 12:14 PM
be done, bury the hatchet, and move on. Actions speak louder than words, and if you've been neglecting your friendships, words will be seen as excuses. If you're really ready to move on (and correct in your assertions about your problems), you're actions will tell them all they need to know.
hoey222
07-30-2003, 12:37 PM
Originally posted by zenbooty
be done, bury the hatchet, and move on. Actions speak louder than words, and if you've been neglecting your friendships, words will be seen as excuses. If you're really ready to move on (and correct in your assertions about your problems), you're actions will tell them all they need to know.

:stupid:
attgig
07-30-2003, 12:38 PM
move on. as your demeanor changes, some people may ask you...hey, what's gotten into you, and you can get into it if you'd like.

if you feel like you owe somebody an apology because you might have not acted in the 'right' way...go for it...
ski
07-30-2003, 12:45 PM
good advice... that's what I needed to hear.... thanks fellas
Ladogaboy
07-30-2003, 03:32 PM
Originally posted by zenbooty
be done, bury the hatchet, and move on. Actions speak louder than words, and if you've been neglecting your friendships, words will be seen as excuses. If you're really ready to move on (and correct in your assertions about your problems), you're actions will tell them all they need to know.

I agree. If your friends are truly your friends, they will not be too concerned. They will understand that you are passing through a bad phase and that it will soon be over it.

As far as women go, bury it all. No explanations, reasons, or excuses. No matter how you plan it to sound, it will always look like baggage to a possible SO. Make sure you've locked the baggage away before you start pursuing another relationship, and try to make sure that you are over this as much as possible before you do try to move on. And look at it this way: at least this situation didn't pop up when you were with someone that you truly loved.