View Full Version : Breaking up and Getting Over
08-04-2003, 10:45 AM
It been about 2 months since my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me this excuse that she wanted to be independent and didn't want to depend on me which was a pretty lame and shallow excuse (putting it lightly). We were together for 3 year and she couldn't tell me the real excuse, thats messed up. I'm taking it pretty hard but dealing with it. Some days are worse then others and other days I feel fine. Since we broke up I've called her 3 times which i think is pretty good. The less I talk or see her the better, out of sight out of mind.
How have other dealed with a breakup where you have been in a relationship long term?
08-04-2003, 11:01 AM
Time. :( That's the only advice I can give you that doesn't sound flippant. Sorry man. :(
08-04-2003, 11:37 AM
time. and go keep urself BUSY!!! just do anything to keep your schedule full. work more if possible (i pulled a 40+ hour with a full load of school)and go hang out with friends (great excuse to catch up on the friendships u may have been neglecting). find new hobbies, hit up the bars or clubs, or be adventurous and just try new things. but definitely put yourself out there. oh.....and no girls. it won't help. another suggestion, if you are feeling frustrated and need to vent or get stuff off your chest, write it down. it helps.
anyhow, i feel ya. :( hope u feel better and good luck.
08-04-2003, 02:08 PM
I've been keeping myself really busy. Hate being home right now. Since its happened I haven't stayed home 2 nights in a row, I'm always out. I know time is what I need. But I just get those times where I really feel like i'm going crazy and thats what frustrates me.
08-04-2003, 03:27 PM
I went through a very similar situation not too long ago too. The thing is, no matter how legitimate her reason was, it won't sound like good reasoning to you. You are too close to the issue for you to be objective.
Anyway, like everyone else said, yeah, it just takes time. Three years is a long time, and my three year relationship ended just under four months ago. Luckily, I didn't have a lot of free time, so I was able to keep my mind off of her and the situation for a bit. I'm just now coming to terms with it, and even though I can openly admit that I still have feelings for her, I know that nothing will ever come of it.
But, the best advice I can give you is to keep your distance. The longer and further you are away from her, the better. And that means no correspondence either.
08-04-2003, 03:47 PM
I've been there, and am still there. My girlfriend and I dated for 2.5 years and we've been broken up since March. Sometimes are definately harder than others. I still really want to be back with her, but she doesn't feel the same way. I still talk to her almost everynight, and we are still friends, but I have to becareful to not overstep my boundaries than being more than just a friend. Time does help. Keeping busy sometimes helped me, but not as much as I had hoped.
08-04-2003, 07:40 PM
I'm sorry to hear that. As other members have suggested, you should
keep away from her as much as you can, and keep as much busy as you can. And try to think positive, if you can. There are other girls
out there, so may be this happen for a reason. Chin up dude, and good luck
08-05-2003, 08:47 AM
I hope you're feeling better and that you're staying away from her. You're taking the right steps in avoiding contact with her because it only prolongs the healing process. You should go hang with your other friends .. play sports -- helps works out any frustration you have and by the time you finish, you're so pooped that all you want to do is sleep and not be bogged down by thoughts of her running through your head.
08-05-2003, 11:36 PM
Usually dont come here and usually dont go there with the broken hearts but here I go.
When my last real girlfriend and I broke up it was very painful. I wasn't being the best boyfriend and I really didnt see myself ever marrying her but I dated her for a while. Breaking up was the most painful thing I had ever went thru. My heart hurt really bad. My friends couldn't console me and I couldn't stay busy enuff.
We ended up back together cuz we both didn't want to be alone. It felt right but I knew it was wrong. Next time we split she found someone and to get her back I did too. The x went nuts and I loved it. What a jerk, right? I got her to break up with him but I didnt want her back. I didn't really care for the new girl but she was hot and I used her to hurt my x (over and over again). :)
After that I became a cold *******. Didnt let people get too close. Unfortunately I carry some baggage but it makes me more independent and stronger.
I have to re-evaluate everything cuz I recently met someone. We have incredible chemistry. I met her at a bbq and for some reason there was no pretense or bs. Just great conversation and a lot of smiling. Usually I tend be standoffish or act up, but I just wanted to be real with her.
There seems to be a lot of females available right now and Im not looking for a relationship. I've been plugging away with work and going to the gym and doing lots of social stuff. Now it's all coming together and this girl is gonna mess it all up. Is it worth it? I think it is.
Even if she's not the one, I want to try to become friends and get to know her. If it escalates and I'm really feeling her I'm gonna let her know. Whats the worst that can happen? I get hurt and go thru the cycle again. :shrug: :bawl:
The point of all this is TIME is what will help you the most.
There will be someone else.
You will be a little less sensitive but you will be stronger.
Lastly, what kind of person will you be when the right girl comes along? Not saying that you will become like me, but what I was acting like wasn't doing anything good for me.
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