saying goodbye to a beautiful friendship

[Ladogaboy]

I know the feeling, man. Hopefully, this all works out for you, but I do have a question for you. If you thought she might possibly be interested in persuing more than a friendship with you, would you be willing? I guess that what I am asking is, are you making this decision for both of you? The only reason I ask is because, if you're only making this decision because you think she is not interested and you're going to cut off the friendship anyway, you might as well see how she feels about the situation first. I mean, what could it hurt by asking, right?

Either way, I'm just an outside observer with a partial story--not to mention, I'm dog tired--, so you probably know how to handle your situation the best.

[kei2]

Originally posted by chosenfool
unless theres another way. but i dont see ANY other way about this.This might be a stupid question, but you don't think this attraction will pass (leaving the friendship intact)? I know I'm just a college kid, but usually crushes/attractions that develop toward friends of mine tend to die off after a while. Which is probably a good thing, because I've done the whole "unrequited" thing and it was harsh. That or, if I feel like it could never happen (because she doesn't reciprocate or it couldn't work out for some other reason), I try to rationalize it with myself... forcing myself to stop liking her in that way. I realize it's much easier said than done, and I think I understand what you're going through, so I hope you and she are able to work everything out somehow.

[Ladogaboy]

I've done that plenty of times myself, kei2, but what I've found is that after a while, I'm no longer friends with those people--at least, no where near as close as I was before. I had to distance myself for my own emotional well-being, but when I had finally gotten over my crush, it was really hard to start the friendship up again. I'm not sure whether or not that was because I had very few things in common with them other than sharing space--these occurances happened in high school and college--, and I think that things might be different in "real life," so to speak (well, for me anyway). I refuse to develop any sort of emotional attachment to co-workers (though I've really wanted to have sex with a few of them :hihi: ), so when I find someone that I really like in real life, it is usually because we have something in common. Something platonic that we can share; something that can hold us together as friends even if romantic feelings come and go. This is actually how I am with my ex right now. I still talk with her more than I talk with anyone else, and though we are keeping our distance physically, I think we will be able to maintain a healthy friendship. I could be wrong on this, and if I am, you'll probably hear me crying about it on these boards one day in the future.

[DankNstickY]

i'd do it like they do in the movies. let her know that you kinda want to end your friendship/relationship, and tell her why. she might be willing to take it a little further, or she might say no but that she still wants to remain your friend. then it'd be up to you to either end it or stay the same. although it might be kinda wierd staying friends after explaining your situation to her...

i dunno man. gl.

[cheapchinese]

CF, Besides dignity, what do you have to loose
pop the question, turns out bad... go back to your plan B
turn out good, congrats
thats my take
i really hate living life in "not knowing"...just painful agony

[Peachhead]

Been there, done that, still dealing with it.
If you really love her..then you have to go with it or you will forever question yourself.

[PrObLy]

Originally posted by cheapchinese
CF, Besides dignity, what do you have to loose
pop the question, turns out bad... go back to your plan B
turn out good, congrats
thats my take
i really hate living life in "not knowing"...just painful agony


Originally posted by Peachhead
Been there, done that, still dealing with it.
If you really love her..then you have to go with it or you will forever question yourself.


I agree with both of these statements. Really, there's always the possibility that since both of you established earlier that it was just a friendship that she might feel the same about you and just doesn't want to show it. Them females, they can be confusing like that sometimes. Like cheapchinese said, you have nothing to lose and I also think, like Peachhead, that it's something you might question yourself forever since you love her.

[hapoo]

Chosen: Even if you do lose her, you'll always have a friend in here (as long as you promise not to fall in love with me :eek: )






j/k, I totally know what your going through as i've gone through it more times than i care to admit. And I still haven't found a good solution to the situation. Although speaking as an outside party i'd have to say it sounds like a better idea to at least tell her whats going on, worse case senario you end up losing a friend, but at least this way theres a chance (however small it may be) that you can be more than friends.

[Peachhead]

Originally posted by hapoo
... worse case senario you end up losing a friend, but at least this way theres a chance (however small it may be) that you can be more than friends.

Losing a friend really sucks though. If things don't work out with the two of you...then it will take a LONG time and a lot of water passing under the bridge before anything can be close to what it was before. Especially if you see her with any regularity.

I'm not trying to be negative here...I just know what it's like. While things are good it's maybe the best it EVER could be with anyone..possibly because you're already friends, it just adds to it. But if it doesn't work out.. to me, it was like going through another divorce- quite painful.

But you never know..this could be the one, and you don't want to miss that chance!

Good luck, man...I'll be rooting for ya whatever you decide.

[revil]

Originally posted by hapoo
as long as you promise not to fall in love with me :eek:
is that why you stopped talking to me? :neartears

[kei2]

Originally posted by Peachhead
Losing a friend really sucks though. If things don't work out with the two of you...then it will take a LONG time and a lot of water passing under the bridge before anything can be close to what it was before. Especially if you see her with any regularity.This is true. BUT it can be worked out. I was in a similar situation a while back, and things were weird for the longest time, but now everything's chill again. Sometimes things work out okay.

[xsiled2]

Originally posted by Yossarian
i still love you CF

hey peterman, watch the cornhole...

[hapoo]

I'm happy for you chosen... i think. :confused:

I gotta say i'm interested in hearing what your friend from florida told you as to make you change your point of view since this entire thread is all too relevent.

[cheapchinese]

seeing that your not ready.. .i would say.. just let this one go

there will be more, when your ready