S: friends who don't keep in touch

[nickel]

i know it's hard to keep up with all of your friends, but i just have this thing where i wanna know they are doing OK. i don't need only a short email every now and then or a phone call.

and then i wonder is someone really a friend if they don't want or can't find a minute of their time to keep in touch with you?

[Ladogaboy]

I don't know... I'm usually really bad about this. Part of it is absentmindedness, but part of it is that I feel bad if I devote a few minutes to one friend and not the many others that I have. So, every so often, I end up sitting down to write about 15-20 e-mails.... I'm trying to change my habits, though.

[nickel]

i find i have the most issues with guy friends. guys just aren't as thoughtful in that realm i guess, but that doesn't stop me from thinking they are having a rough time and that is why there is no contact...

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by nickelback
i find i have the most issues with guy friends. guys just aren't as thoughtful in that realm i guess, but that doesn't stop me from thinking they are having a rough time and that is why there is no contact...

Oh, we are thinking of you--at least I know that I am--, but we sometimes have a hard time making the time.

Think of it like two pendulums: one pendulum is our thoughts about you and what we want to tell you and one pendulum is our mood/opportunity to communicate. Both have to be aligned at the same time before we can e-mail, call, write, or whatever.

Oh, btw, they are very slow moving pendulums. :shifty:

[ray]

Originally posted by nickelback
i find i have the most issues with guy friends. guys just aren't as thoughtful in that realm i guess, but that doesn't stop me from thinking they are having a rough time and that is why there is no contact...

I have found that my female friends from high school are notorious about NEVER responding. My college friends are all pretty good at keeping in touch whether it's via email or phone.

[cheapie]

Originally posted by nickelback
i find i have the most issues with guy friends. guys just aren't as thoughtful in that realm i guess, but that doesn't stop me from thinking they are having a rough time and that is why there is no contact...




ummm....sorry. my email hasn't been working and i've been out of the country. i'm ok. don't worry about me. i still care about you and our kids are doing fine.

love,

cheapie

[nickel]

*slaps cheapie upside the head*
:P

[cheapie]

Originally posted by nickelback
*slaps cheapie upside the head*
:P

lol. i thought you were going to say canada isn't really out of the country.

[nickel]

that too
and when you were there you were closer to me than you are now.

[RoniMan]

i tried emailing you...but your inbox was FULL!
:P

[nickel]

*checks inbox*
*watches tumbleweeds blow through*

it is not full :P

[molecularfire]

Originally posted by Ladogaboy
I don't know... I'm usually really bad about this. Part of it is absentmindedness, but part of it is that I feel bad if I devote a few minutes to one friend and not the many others that I have. So, every so often, I end up sitting down to write about 15-20 e-mails.... I'm trying to change my habits, though.
:stupid:
although for me, it's more of an out of site, out of mind thing. Heck, when I'm not looking in the mirror, I'm not even thinking about me.

[Ladogaboy]

Originally posted by nickelback
*slaps cheapie upside the head*
:P

You promised to only slap my head from now on!!! :(

:bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

[nickel]

i didn't say which one ;)

[OC]

Originally posted by nickelback
i know it's hard to keep up with all of your friends, but i just have this thing where i wanna know they are doing OK. i don't need only a short email every now and then or a phone call.

and then i wonder is someone really a friend if they don't want or can't find a minute of their time to keep in touch with you? Ok, ok, I'll try to do better. ;)

Seriously though, I know what you mean. When "friends" seem OK with going several weeks with no communication, it really makes me wonder if they're a friend or not.

For me, it's become an issue of boundaries. Y'all know a lot of what's been going on in my life lately, and all this newness has required that I re-draw my boundaries and make new ones. Part of that is that I'm not going to continue putting effort into one-sided friendships. This is what I've had lately with angeleyes, and really all I've ever had with mygrrrl. To borrow a sentiment, I've mostly dropped them from my friends list.

'Tis a sad thing to give up on a friendship, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

{/soapbox}