Patheticness in my HS [Archive] - HP Deals, Computer Coupons And Bargains

CamaroBabe

11-09-2003, 08:24 PM

more like

got|abstinence

RANT: ON

wtf. I'm sorry but it's disgusting that kids are having sex so young. And, every guy wonders why every girl he meets when he is in his mid-20s in PSYCHO. It's b/c adolescent boys put the pressure on to to have sex, whether it's oral, or intercourse, the pressure is there. So, girls have sex with them, to feel accepted. To feel loved. At the ages of 13-17 most people are in that "depressed" stage where "the world hates them" and "there's nothing worth living for" The first guy that comes her way and sweeps her off her feet she has sex with. And, after that it becomes "cool" that she has sex so she continutes to do it. F*** that. Then, when she's 20, and wanting a serious relationship no one will take her seriously b/c she's a slut.

Then, you have the late bloomers, the girls who sleep with ONE high-school boyfriend and no one else, but then they get to college and become super-slutty. Getting drunk, making out with other girls, having 3 somes, flashing people, having random sex....

whatever, that $hit pisses me off. Don't have sex 'til you're like 25, when your horomones have finally calmed down.

BUt you know, I blame the entertainment industry. Every actor/actress/singer is a sex symbol. Everyone wants to do britney spears so every adolescent girl dresses like britney spears. Everyone sees Paris Hilton partying and drinking and being wild, so every college girl does the same. Girls are making out with other girls all the time @ bars/clubs/parties. WHY?????? B/C it gets attention. NOT b/c they like kissing other girls. I'm so sick of all this bullshit. Everyone needs to grow the F*** up and not make sex/sex appeal the center of their world.

RANT: OFF
:angry: :woo: :mad2: :thumbdown

psycho-

11-09-2003, 08:27 PM

My HS was so pathetic, the honor society was the most coveted thing to be in, and we compete on how many people go to UCs or IVY league schools.

Yah, it's pathetic in a different way, but it's still pathetic.

And, yes, there are those among us (though few) that believe in abstaining

cheapie

11-09-2003, 08:30 PM

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
I'm sure I can name the people who will disgree with me, but the answer is to make condoms freely and discreetly available to kids who want them.

i disagree, but prob not because of the reasons you think. i'm not going to bust out the whole abstinence talk....

kids know about condoms and can get them if they want to. anybody w/$.75 and a nearby gas station can get one. it's my humble opinion that kids just don't look at life thinking about the long-term. this is just a symptom of it.

there is no reason other than they had sex and weren't smart enough to not do it, or wear a condom/be on birth control. they made a mistake in judgement. stupid kids will be stupid no matter what.

The Happy Squirrel

11-09-2003, 09:11 PM

Originally posted by CamaroBabe
more like

got|abstinence

wtf. I'm sorry but it's disgusting that kids are having sex so young. And, every guy wonders why every girl he meets when he is in his mid-20s in PSYCHO. It's b/c adolescent boys put the pressure on to to have sex, whether it's oral, or intercourse, the pressure is there. So, girls have sex with them, to feel accepted. To feel loved. At the ages of 13-17 most people are in that "depressed" stage where "the world hates them" and "there's nothing worth living for" The first guy that comes her way and sweeps her off her feet she has sex with. And, after that it becomes "cool" that she has sex so she continutes to do it. F*** that. Then, when she's 20, and wanting a serious relationship no one will take her seriously b/c she's a slut.

this is such $h%^. blaming everything on men is just a way of not facing up to ones actions and not accpeting any responiblility
girls put pressure on guys to have sex also, its not just the guys out there trying to get lad and then forget the chicks name in the morn. and they dont ahve sex to be acepted. anyone who does that is in a pretty pisspoor relationship. you should be accpeted for being a good person. back when i was in HS it went both ways as far as pressure, and with the ppl i hung with, sex wasnt thought of as being kewl, not like "hey man, got liad, look at me im awesome"
HONESTLY!!!

any by your statement your giving women everywhere a bad name.
you are grouping them all as weak willed, easily manipulated, no morals, and dispensable.
also you are giving all guys a bad name
making it seem like they just want sex, dont care about relationships themselves, manipulative, and destructive to all womens futures jsut because they had a sexual experience with someone in HS

i really am not sure where you were going wtih that but everyone doesnt turn into a total slut just because they had sex in HS

Originally posted by cheapie

i disagree, but prob not because of the reasons you think. i'm not going to bust out the whole abstinence talk....

kids know about condoms and can get them if they want to. anybody w/$.75 and a nearby gas station can get one. it's my humble opinion that kids just don't look at life thinking about the long-term. this is just a symptom of it.

there is no reason other than they had sex and weren't smart enough to not do it, or wear a condom/be on birth control. they made a mistake in judgement. stupid kids will be stupid no matter what.

well siad, mainly kids in HS dont think long term, they just are living for the minute.

everydosy knows about condoms and birth control by the time they hit 7th grade so the only reason not to use them it either they want a child, they are lazy, and they just dont think it will happen to them and/or dont care

Cantacuzene

11-09-2003, 09:32 PM

And, every guy wonders why every girl he meets when he is in his mid-20s in PSYCHO. It's b/c adolescent boys put the pressure on to to have sex, whether it's oral, or intercourse, the pressure is there.

Those two thoughts seem completely disconnected and also completely untrue.

The first guy that comes her way and sweeps her off her feet she has sex with. And, after that it becomes "cool" that she has sex so she continutes to do it. F*** that. Then, when she's 20, and wanting a serious relationship no one will take her seriously b/c she's a slut.

There is a big difference between the senario you just described and being a slut. I don't understand how having sex in high school is going to make anyone you meet at a university think you are a slut. I can only speak for people I know, and the of the people I know the onlys ones who are called sluts (male and female) certainly deserve it. I don't consider any girl who has sex with her boyfriend, as you have described, a slut.

Then, you have the late bloomers, the girls who sleep with ONE high-school boyfriend and no one else, but then they get to college and become super-slutty. Getting drunk, making out with other girls, having 3 somes, flashing people, having random sex....

Stereotype. I'm sure it happens, but not as much as you'd think and I would say that comes from some other social-pyscho situation other than peer pressure.

whatever, that $hit pisses me off. Don't have sex 'til you're like 25, when your horomones have finally calmed down.

Terrible advice. That can be just as pyschologically scarring as having too much sex too young.

BUt you know, I blame the entertainment industry.

Just like everyone else who doesn;t want to fess up to being a poor parent.

Girls are making out with other girls all the time @ bars/clubs/parties. WHY?????? B/C it gets attention. NOT b/c they like kissing other girls.

How do you know? I'm sure thats true sometimes but not necesarily always.

Everyone needs to grow the F*** up and not make sex/sex appeal the center of their world.

Yes, everyone should immediatly begin denying human nature! NOW!

ray

11-09-2003, 09:35 PM

negligence on the parents part.

how many times have i said that now?

Mrs. Happy Squirrel

11-09-2003, 09:38 PM

(Canta)

:stupid:

bachviet

11-09-2003, 09:48 PM

Kids don't take precautions when they have SEX...

attgig

11-09-2003, 10:13 PM

rubber's are very accessible. i would hope you could at least drive to a pharmacy, convenience store (or ride a bike if you're....THAT young...).

but yeah.

when I went to college...freshman year. during orientation, we had our "sex talk" given by the health people at school.
did they talk about abstinence? nope...they started out by giving us statistics about how many people have sex when they go to college...so use condemns.

thanks... i guess i'm a loser since i was a part of the 10-15% who didn't have sex in college.

sure it's a little different in college, a little older. but still...society tells us that you're going to have pre-marital sex. that's a given. anyone waiting for marriage is either living in the past or is too much of a romantic to realize what reality is.

oblongmelon

11-10-2003, 04:43 AM

Originally posted by CamaroBabe
more like

got|abstinence

RANT: ON

wtf. I'm sorry but it's disgusting that kids are having sex so young. And, every guy wonders why every girl he meets when he is in his mid-20s in PSYCHO. It's b/c adolescent boys put the pressure on to to have sex, whether it's oral, or intercourse, the pressure is there. So, girls have sex with them, to feel accepted. To feel loved. At the ages of 13-17 most people are in that "depressed" stage where "the world hates them" and "there's nothing worth living for" The first guy that comes her way and sweeps her off her feet she has sex with. And, after that it becomes "cool" that she has sex so she continutes to do it. F*** that. Then, when she's 20, and wanting a serious relationship no one will take her seriously b/c she's a slut.

Then, you have the late bloomers, the girls who sleep with ONE high-school boyfriend and no one else, but then they get to college and become super-slutty. Getting drunk, making out with other girls, having 3 somes, flashing people, having random sex....

whatever, that $hit pisses me off. Don't have sex 'til you're like 25, when your horomones have finally calmed down.

BUt you know, I blame the entertainment industry. Every actor/actress/singer is a sex symbol. Everyone wants to do britney spears so every adolescent girl dresses like britney spears. Everyone sees Paris Hilton partying and drinking and being wild, so every college girl does the same. Girls are making out with other girls all the time @ bars/clubs/parties. WHY?????? B/C it gets attention. NOT b/c they like kissing other girls. I'm so sick of all this bullshit. Everyone needs to grow the F*** up and not make sex/sex appeal the center of their world.

RANT: OFF
:angry: :woo: :mad2: :thumbdown

*STANDS AND APPLAUDS*..well said Camarebabe ..*Bravo*

I congradulate you for trying to enlighten the boys of G|A but I don't think they are going to agree with you..(especially Canta)..I agree with what you said..I also think that if PARENTS took on the responsibilty of paying attention to and teaching their children that abstinence can be a good thing then there wouldnt be so many young unwed mothers in this country..the moral decay of this society has snowballed for years..the highschool in my area has a DAYCARE for the students-the girls are allowed to bring their children to class if they need too..they stand out in front with strollers trying to find themselves bf's by hanging out smoking,and flirting-babes in tow. These kids collect welfare for themselves and the babies, they don't work, but they have money for cigarettes (and alot of them -drugs, the kids are always dirty, without mittens or hats in the winter and without clean clothes in the summer while they are dressed to the nines with their streaked hair and big gold earrings...the government is their daddy-putting food and clothes on their tables and backs..and it pisses me off..where are the fathers? NOT AROUND..moved on to some other 15 year old because it's cool to screw as many people as you can-it makes you the Big man...it doesn't take much pressuring for a man/boy to get a girl to have sex..because like you said camarobabe-teen years are vulnerable years..everybody wants to be loved, especially teenage girls..when it comes right down to it-the actions of teenagers are brought on by lack of Parental Guidance.

Jeffbx

11-10-2003, 06:02 AM

As a parent, I also agree that abstinence should be a main focus of sex ed, but I also think there needs to be a healthy dose of realism. You can't preach to kids that abstinence is the only choice; all you can do is try to convince them it's the best choice. THEN you need to stress the importance of birth control & protection against disease AND let them know that condoms are readily available.

Geez, I remember being in HS, and it was stressed over & over that it's really easy to get someone pregnant, so my GF & I were overly careful about it. Never had a problem. Good thing, too, 'cuz we're married now & have had unprotected sex exactly 3 times & guess how many kids we have?

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 06:41 AM

Originally posted by CamaroBabe
more like

got|abstinence

RANT: ON

wtf. I'm sorry but it's disgusting that kids are having sex so young. (etc...)

the desire to have sex is as basic as the desire to eat. there's nothing disgusting about it. 13 year old girls want to have sex because sex is good. "guys need sex so they pressure poor girls for it" is a much more damaging stereotype for long-term mental health than ANY media images glorifying sex.

it's people like you throwing around words like "slut" that make women miserable.

sex is risky. so is driving. so is eating. we can teach kids to minimize the risks with condoms and a healthy mental attitude the same way we teach them to buckle up, drive the speed limit, and stay out of mcdonalds and eat they damn broccoli.

i think you would find more kids choosing abstinence if adults would stop trying to instill such shame regarding all things sexual. demystify it, make condoms available, and kids aren't going to be quite so knot-headed about it.

as for the ppl obby is describing - there is no govt policy or school program that can fix them. they are broken. we can make it better, however, for those with at least marginally attentive parents, room temperature iq, and any ambition whatsoever to live a good life.

cheapie

11-10-2003, 06:46 AM

Originally posted by welfareloser

the desire to have sex is as basic as the desire to eat. there's nothing disgusting about it. 13 year old girls want to have sex because sex is good. "guys need sex so they pressure poor girls for it" is a much more damaging stereotype for long-term mental health than ANY media images glorifying sex.

it's people like you throwing around words like "slut" that make women miserable.

sex is risky. so is driving. so is eating. we can teach kids to minimize the risks with condoms and a healthy mental attitude the same way we teach them to buckle up, drive the speed limit, and stay out of mcdonalds and eat they damn broccoli.

i think you would find more kids choosing abstinence if adults would stop trying to instill such shame regarding all things sexual. demystify it, make condoms available, and kids aren't going to be quite so knot-headed about it.

sex, as with driving, has many consequences that 13yo kids are not emotionally/physically equipped to handle.

nickel

11-10-2003, 06:46 AM

Originally posted by Cantacuzene
I'm sure I can name the people who will disgree with me, but the answer is to make condoms freely and discreetly available to kids who want them.
i agree Canta.

a 100% abstinence rate is a pipe dream, and yeh, condoms can be bought easily but that is embarassing to do especially for novices.

one of my good friends in HS got preggo our senior year. it sucked and changed the course of her life forever. thing of it was it could've been any of us. don't lose sight of that. some people just have better luck. but sex is sex and it's gonna happen no matter what. it's a force of nature.

Cantacuzene

11-10-2003, 07:31 AM

Abstinance should be the main form of sex ed... the sex ed given by the parents. Schools and health workers on the other hand should be concerned with the people who either don't have good parents or who ignore their parents.

Attgig, the sex talk we all get when we go to college didnt mention abstinance, because the people who opt to abstain from sex don't need any more information. The people who do plan on having sex DO need some additional information, thus why they got it.

cheapie

11-10-2003, 08:41 AM

someone shoot me cuz i'm gonna say :stupid:

problems like teen pregnancy will never be solved. they can be partially mitigated but never solved. these kids need parents that teach them that for every action, there's a reaction. you can't avoid responsibility simply by ignoring the possible consequences. i feel sorry for many of these kids. they have it harder than i did a scant 5-7 years ago.

nickel

11-10-2003, 08:52 AM

this is directed to the thread starter who talks of the patheticness of his HS.

did you wear protection all 5 (?) times?

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 08:58 AM

Originally posted by cheapie

sex, as with driving, has many consequences that 13yo kids are not emotionally/physically equipped to handle.

yep. let me clarify: 13 year olds want sex. they are made to feel guilty about that... having sex is bad, wanting sex is bad, you are a bad person for thinking sex is in any way good. people with these hangups about sex are never going to be able to make good decisions about sex. parents can't talk to their kids about sex because they have shame issues, and the cycle repeats.

my point is that we are not trying to... actually we are TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO emotionally equip our children for sex. nobody says "here's what you might feel, here are the things you could do about it, here are the likely consequences of all those choices." abstinence only education tends to be full of lies - lies of ommission as well as overstating risks. kids don't respond well to liars, and tend not to give them any credit. "complete" programs deal with the mechanics of it all, but not the much more important social issues... even schools that fight to get away with talking about condoms catch nine kinds of hell when they tell kids they might want to have sex or describe masturbation techniques.

donnar

11-10-2003, 09:21 AM

Wow this is very interesting,

1- I had a child at 15 at 18 and at 20
2- Never did I feel pressure to have sex with anyone
3 sex feels good so I kept doing it
4 I was on birth control
5- I was in a long trem realationship
6- Never on public Aid
7- All my children have the same father
8- I am married to that man now and love him more then ever
9- Never thought of as a slut because just because you have sex does not make you slutty

I wish that people would stop seeing only one side of the story they say they feel bad for teens having children so young but I don't regret have my children and they have completed my life. My husband and I have worked very hard to be resected parents, because many people see us and think we are like the typical teen parents, my children are well educated, they go to the dentist, doctors, we do crafts so I am not a mom wow just pawns her kids off on whoever. Most of the time I look at other mothers adn wonder wtf how taught them to be a parent? Either way I will be teaching my children protection, as well with asbitaning from sex

Donna

Merlin

11-10-2003, 09:28 AM

Patheticness in my HS

So the pathetic part must be that there is all this sex going on and you ain't gettin none of it.

:hihi:

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 09:46 AM

boy, merlin's humor has gotten "edgy" lately... i like it (when i'm not the target... :P)

i had my kids young. by two different fathers. and i am on public aid. i don't think i did anything irresponsible; sometimes life just bites you in the ass.

however, most teens who have babies are irresponsible, in a very bad place both socially and economically, and are very unlikely to get out of it. donnar, you are a wonderful anomaly. trying to get the teen pregnancy rate in this country low is a good idea... we just haven't done anything productive. in fact, we've done a lot of counterproductive stuff.

and, i know anyone can get a condom, but more people WOULD get them if it was easier... just like more people would smoke pot if it was legal. in your neighborhood, there's always the risk that someone you know (like your mom's nosy friend!) is going to see you do it... and then you might get in trouble (depending on your parents attidude) and who needs that? if it's right there and free and anonymous, you'll grab a few.

and tho canta did a wonderful job of being the voice of reason against camarobabe's rant, i have one thing to add, re: those girls who get drunk and kiss girls at parties just to attract attention.

that has nothing to do with sex. that has everything to do with wanting to be cool. with being a poseur. with being more concerned about your social status than anything else you might want to be.

i don't like parties because i don't like beeing in a roomful of people trying as hard as they can to impress everyone else, to get everyone else to like them, and doing it by being fake.

girls who party because they think they're supposed to are also the ones that smoke because they feel cool... and drink because it's cool... and wear expensive clothes to be cool. they're not kissing girls because all men are animals who have put pressure on these poor widdle girls their whole lives, which seems to be your distilled point.

and you may not beleive it, but then there are girls who get drunk because getting drunk is fun. who kiss girls because kissing girls feels good (and for f---'s sake, exactly what is wrong with heterosexual girls kissing? anyone? anyone? okay then.) there are girls who have casual sex because sex is fun and they don't have a boyfriend.

so long as they're not driving drunk, puking on my floor, or "forgetting" to use condoms, more power to those girls.

zenbooty

11-10-2003, 09:59 AM

Originally posted by welfareloser
and you may not beleive it, but then there are girls who get drunk because getting drunk is fun. who kiss girls because kissing girls feels good (and for f---'s sake, exactly what is wrong with heterosexual girls kissing? anyone? anyone? okay then.) there are girls who have casual sex because sex is fun and they don't have a boyfriend.

so long as they're not driving drunk, puking on my floor, or "forgetting" to use condoms, more power to those girls. :thumbup: :stupid:

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Here's to the crazy and the damned! Here's to rum, sodomy, and the lash! Woohoo!

:D

Kevster

11-10-2003, 01:11 PM

In my HS, one of the guys in the class ahead of me got his GF pregnant. He was a well-known f#@$-up, but he stood by her and she delivered a baby girl that was then put up for adoption. I didn't like him much, but I did respect the way they handled the situation they got themselves in (I myself am an adoptee that resulted from a teenage accident).

I knew a promising engineering student in college that got pregnant and she and her BF at the time had the baby and kept it. She dropped out of school and now is going to finally graduate just over 10 years later (as a single mother - the dumbass BF skipped out - I #$@%#&!hate men sometimes).

People often don't think of the consequences of their actions (especially when sex is concerned) until afterward when the damage is done. Having children is a major life-changing event and unless you're ready to deal with the consequences, you shouldn't be engaging in the activity. I have made my own stupid decisions in the past and luckily I didn't get caught in that situation.

On a side note, one of the main reasons Merlin has been jumping from city-to-city across the country is because he's trying to avoid the paternity suits. :P

nickel

11-10-2003, 01:24 PM

Originally posted by Kevster
On a side note, one of the main reasons Merlin has been jumping from city-to-city across the country is because he's trying to avoid the paternity suits. :P
:eek: i knew there was something fishy going on....

InfiniteNothing

11-10-2003, 01:27 PM

First I disagree with Oby and Camaro. Waiting too long to have sex is just as unhealthy as starting too late. Any psychologist can point you to references. When's the right age to start? it's a case to case basis.

Second, I think that while public anonymous condoms are a step in the right direction and would help some. I think that for the most part, those who'd use them would also buy condoms at the local pharmacy/gas station. Unfortunately, alot of the people who wouldn't buy them at the pharmacy wouldn't use the freely available condoms; protected sex is like eating a twinkie with the wrapper still on.

I think teenage girls should be encouraged to get in the habit of taking birth control. Even if they are not having sex, birth control is still a great thing.

And I applaud donnar. It looks like you made all the right decisions. I hope I can be as successful as you. Here's to 1 partner for life and premarital sex :cheers:

Merlin

11-10-2003, 01:50 PM

Originally posted by Kevster
On a side note, one of the main reasons Merlin has been jumping from city-to-city across the country is because he's trying to avoid the paternity suits. :P

:cheers: Heres to paternity tests not being 100% conclusive.

Just one more good reason to never use your real name. :shifty:

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 01:58 PM

as a follow-up, i must ask donnar... what kind of birth control were you on? with all three? are you saying that you had THREE kids by accident?

birth control just really doesn't fail that often if used properly... most people who claim "but we were practicing safe sex!" were doing something stupid... not withdrawing IMMEDIATELY after ejaculation, trying to put the condom on the wrong way and then flipping it over, allowing non-penetrative genital contact without a condom, not using a spermicide, ejaculating twice into the same condom, leaving an air bubble in the receptacle tip so it busts upon ejaculation, using condoms with no lube (and also no spermicide)... skipping a pill, not taking the pill at the same time every day, taking antibiotics with the pill and not using a back-up condom, having condomless sex while still in the first month of the pill or in the first two weeks of the injection... etc. there are plenty more ways to "help" birth control fail.

disclaimer: i'm not accusing you of being an idiot!!!! i'm just really, really interested in pregnancy and all associated issues, and very curious about what happened in your particular case.

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 02:20 PM

nice try? now don't go trying to pin all those pregnancies on merlin when we KNOW it was you.

btw, anyone notice the banner ad at the top of the forum is for paternity tests? :heh:

cheapie

11-10-2003, 02:26 PM

Originally posted by InfiniteNothing
I think teenage girls should be encouraged to get in the habit of taking birth control. Even if they are not having sex, birth control is still a great thing.

i'm not sure why girls need to artificially alter their chemistry just to create a habit.

look. there is no good answer if you are not going to abstain. you can get diseases and become pregnant while wearing protection. does it reduce the risk. absolutely. we're kind of dancing around the fact that having sex outside of a monogamous relationship carries certain inherent risks which cannot be eliminated through condom availability, proper guidance, or good intentions.

the only way to make sure you don't get pregnant or catch a VD is to not have sex. everything short of that introduces somewhat statistically significant risks.

while i waited until i was married, i am not saying that everybody has to, or that i would have the willpower to do so again.

i do want to say that telling kids, hey, it's all good if you use protection is doing them a disservice. believe it or not, my mother teaches abstinence classes. it's sad to read the statistics of young people that are starting their life with diseases that they will never be rid of.

what's the answer? for me it was stay a virgin until i got married. if, God forbid, my wife died, would i wait until i got married again to get busy? i'm gonna guess the answer is a re-sounding nope just because i have seen the glory and can never go back. :D

gear02

11-10-2003, 02:41 PM

advocating abstience doesn't work. Why? Because teens don't listen to authority, just ask any one who was a teen.

We tell them not to smoke. We tell them not to drink. Is it working? Not really. Kids just don't listen. I didn't when I was a kid (btw I've never smoked, drank only a little when I got into college, and never did drugs, and from my "umm..." thread it's obvious about the last part).

I believe that schools should offer sex ed and free condoms. Why free condoms? Because do you really think that when a teen guy is gonna get some he's going to go to a store and buy condoms? Hell no. It's embarassing to some to go to the register and ring up a box of condoms. That's just not going to happen. By having free condoms, at least they'll have them. Heck, they're more likely to use them if they have them in their pocket.

I just laugh at the right who think that having sex ed and free condoms makes more people have sex. For years and years, we've had drug education in schools. Does that make more people do drugs?

welfareloser

11-10-2003, 02:49 PM

Originally posted by cheapie

i'm not sure why girls need to artificially alter their chemistry just to create a habit.

they don't have to. they may want to.

Originally posted by cheapie

look. there is no good answer if you are not going to abstain. you can get diseases and become pregnant while wearing protection. does it reduce the risk. absolutely. we're kind of dancing around the fact that having sex outside of a monogamous relationship carries certain inherent risks which cannot be eliminated through condom availability, proper guidance, or good intentions.

who's dancing around it? nobody. everyone here knows that there are risks. if i walk out the door this morning, i could get mugged and shot. i'm going out anyway. some people want to live their lives as humans, and that involves accepting certain risks.

Originally posted by cheapie

the only way to make sure you don't get pregnant or catch a VD is to not have sex. everything short of that introduces somewhat statistically significant risks..

everyone knows that. a lot of people are quite willing to accept the statistically significant risks.

Originally posted by cheapie
i do want to say that telling kids, hey, it's all good if you use protection is doing them a disservice. believe it or not, my mother teaches abstinence classes.

who tells kids it's all good if they use a condom? seriously... what official classroom source have you found that says it's all good?!?!?!? some of us here are advocating something really radical... the truth. abstinence is an almost sure-fire way to avoid pregnancy and disease (it's not 100% either... want examples? i got em.) proper use of condoms isn't as good, but it is quite good, and a lot better than nothing.

Originally posted by cheapie
what's the answer?

different for everyone. the policy answer, however, is to tell the freakin truth. education doesn't do much when based on lies. a class which glorifies abstinence is great. a class which omits all else is a lie... mostly a lie the big bad grownups tell themselves to make themselves feel better.

i lived in germany in middle school, had several american friends there. i have two points to make:

firstly, the most popular teen magazine, (kids 12-17) was called bravo. it featured tasteful nude centerfolds (okay, the one of david hasselhoff wasn't exactly tasteful), stories involving sex, and a sex advice column. disease and pregnancy rates among german teens is ridiculously low (just as binge drinking is almost non-existent among teens, as there is no illicit thrill to it.)

secondly, all these american friends of mine wound up in different high schools across america. here's one story from a hs in texas: new braunfels. old money, richie rich community, bible-thumpin. my buddy maureen helped set up an assembly about safe sex. they talked about abstinence. then, as a woman began to speak about condoms, the principal hurried up on stage, took the microphone away, and said "but we know none of you kids need to know about that."

guess how many pregnancies there were in just her senior class? three. guess how many CONFIRMED HIV cases? NINE. freakin NINE. and that's just confirmed. know how many people in her class? less than 100.

my hs. ghetto. 25% dropout rate. poor, poor, poor. you could get condoms from the school nurse. every year, the "condom lady" came and put a condom on a banana and we all had a good laugh. we talked about ways to deal with pressure, for boys and girls, good reasons to have sex and bad ones, the benefits of waiting, and even mutual masturbation techniques. know how many pregnancies in my senior class? 1. no HIV that i know of. my senior class had nearly 400 kids.

donnar

11-10-2003, 03:40 PM

Originally posted by welfareloser
as a follow-up, i must ask donnar... what kind of birth control were you on? with all three? are you saying that you had THREE kids by accident?

birth control just really doesn't fail that often if used properly... most people who claim "but we were practicing safe sex!" were doing something stupid... not withdrawing IMMEDIATELY after ejaculation, trying to put the condom on the wrong way and then flipping it over, allowing non-penetrative genital contact without a condom, not using a spermicide, ejaculating twice into the same condom, leaving an air bubble in the receptacle tip so it busts upon ejaculation, using condoms with no lube (and also no spermicide)... skipping a pill, not taking the pill at the same time every day, taking antibiotics with the pill and not using a back-up condom, having condomless sex while still in the first month of the pill or in the first two weeks of the injection... etc. there are plenty more ways to "help" birth control fail.

disclaimer: i'm not accusing you of being an idiot!!!! i'm just really, really interested in pregnancy and all associated issues, and very curious about what happened in your particular case.

My frist I was on the pill but must admit I didn't take it very often, The second I was on depovera so no chance of messing that one up, and the 3rd I hadn't seen my husband in a long time so we didn't use condoms and I didn't care too, condoms suck, I'm a married women. I didn't plan on none of my children, but I am very happy I have all 3 I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother now I have my dream, I couldn't ask for anything more. If my daughter got preggo at 15 I would be upset but I would never tell her she was a bad person or a slut. My husband and I are very open people we opening kiss and hug in front of our children we do not shame our children when they play with there own bodies or ask questions about ours that is where I think parents and society mess up by shaming there kids so when there kids have sex which they are going to do, they are afaird to speak up because it is taboo, I just hope my children know that we are open to discuss any questions they may have on the topic or any other topic for that matter.

Donna

Sir_Froggy

11-10-2003, 10:49 PM

kids :disa:

coleslaw

11-10-2003, 11:11 PM

Originally posted by welfareloser
btw, anyone notice the banner ad at the top of the forum is for paternity tests?

It's not a coincidence; it's designed to work that way:

Google uses search-based technologies to match advertisements to the content and context of web pages - so the ads you see are related to the information you are viewing.

Viewing a thread that contains "paternity test" will trigger an ad for such. ;)

topane

11-11-2003, 06:15 AM

Originally posted by Jeffbx
As a parent, I also agree that abstinence should be a main focus of sex ed, but I also think there needs to be a healthy dose of realism. You can't preach to kids that abstinence is the only choice; all you can do is try to convince them it's the best choice. THEN you need to stress the importance of birth control & protection against disease AND let them know that condoms are readily available.

Geez, I remember being in HS, and it was stressed over & over that it's really easy to get someone pregnant, so my GF & I were overly careful about it. Never had a problem. Good thing, too, 'cuz we're married now & have had unprotected sex exactly 3 times & guess how many kids we have? One. The other two are mine. Sorry.