Am I showing signs of a mental illness?

[ski]

UPDATE: see about 10 posts down

Hi folks, I don't really have any way else to talk about this, because I don't want to tell any of my friends or family yet. Y'all have helped me with some serious things in the past and I welcome you to do the same if you can...

first "episode" - Saturday night
I was alone in my friend's dorm room (they had left to go sledding), feeling kind of lonely for some reason. Then, I'm not sure what happened, but it felt like I just "went crazy"... I couldn't put any thoughts together, and my mind was racing at 100 mph. I went over to my girlfriend's apartment in the middle of the night and she was able to help me get a grip. The next day, I was told it was probably a panic attack... but I've had panic attacks before, and this wasn't like it...

second and worse "episode" - Monday night (tonight)
I'm not really sure what happened :( The last thing I can remember about tonight was that my gf and I were just laying down, cuddling and talking, when all of a sudden, something happened to me. I remember being told "you're going crazy" over and over by a strong voice that was hard to resist... apparently I was flailing around and crying. I don't remember it too well :( It was hard to calm down, but she helped me a little bit.

I don't see any ties between the two. I had a great day today. My boss praised me at a meeting, we had a luncheon, I got a gift from another boss, and I was having a great time with my gf at night. Saturday night I was miserable. Yet something similar happened... :hmm:

What I want to know is:
1) Your thoughts that you think could help
2) SHould I try to forget about this or delve into why it happened (try to remember)? I can feel that voice coming back when I think about it :cry:

I've only had depression and anxiety which are fairly "normal" phases to go through, but tonight I was shaken so much that I guess I was hoping that someone might be able to point me in some direction to go.

[speedracer120]

Yeah, I'd say seek medical help first. If they can't find any problems, seek out psychologist.

I just recently started to see a therapist. I was reluctant at first, but I saw certain problematic behavioral patterns that were just bugging the heck out of me. Don't feel weirded out by yourself, just get any help you can get.

Good luck, I know it's disconcerting and disheartening to not be able to maintain control. Hope you find a solution, and that you get well soon.

[cheapchinese]

i vote going to the doctor, and you have to include your family in all of this, i know i would be worried sick if this had happen to my family, and family is family, we wouldn't think twice, we would always think of how to make you better.. so don't worry about it, your family will want to be there for you if you want them to be, you'll feel better if their by your side, i know i would.

anyways.. hope you will be better soon

[Emqtee]

I agree with everyone. Go to a Doctor...If there is nothing medically wrong with you, it could be panic attacks that are getting worse. Don't be afraid to tell at least someone you trust. It is always easier to get through things when you have support.

[oblongmelon]

See a doctor-(medical)
he may prescribe you something-or/and suggest a visit to a psychologist..but make sure before you get all loaded up on drugs of any kind you have a thorough physical. Do you take anything now that you can be having a reaction too? And please-for Gods sake-don't be doing any kind of drinking or various "other" drugs until you find out what's wrong. Panic attacks suck.

[nickel]

skiAtomic - YGPM :)

[whitak24]

ski, i would definitely advise you to go see a dr. about this.

a good friend's brother just had a breakdown similar to what you were describing and they diagnosed him with some chemical imbalances and have gotten medication for him, which has really transformed his life.

definitely do not ignore this -- if nothing else, go see a psychologist if you're uncomfortable with a dr.

[Nija]

I think you shouldn't do anything, and take as many people out as possible....


</sarcasm>

[LPMiller]

To the doctor, no question at all. It may be nothing. It may be increasing panic attacks. A good friend of mine found out for him, it was a slow growing, non malignent tumor. Many, many things can cause the behavior you describe, and the sooner you get in, the sooner you can work towards ending it. Don't be afraid of finding out whats wrong, be afraid of never knowing.

And tell your family. But go regardless of what they say. Your brain is the one thing you really don't want to screw with, nor do you want it screwing with you.

[ski]

chosen, speedracer, cheapchinese, emqtee, obby, nickel, whitak, nija (kinda :P), and LP, thank you for taking the time to post what you think. I got up to calling my mom and setting up an appointment with my doctor.

Dec. 22 - appointment
Dec. 23 - 21st bday! (which if the doc hands me more anti-depressant medicine, will not be a good 21st, bah, oh well)
Dec. 31 - tonsillectomy

I'm livin' large :P Oh, at least my new Dell Inspiron 8600 will be at home when I go visit :halo:

Thanks once again friends.

[whitak24]

hang in there. if you need people to bitch to, talk to us.

and if you end up with multiple personalities, get a screen name for each of them :P

[look_ma]

People during the winter time tend to go stir crazy than during the summer months. This is more true for those who live up North and are snowed in all the time. I know I have to running alot more often i the winter to keep me from be super pissed off all the time.

[Nija]

Originally posted by skiAtomic
... nija (kinda :P)...

Hey man, I'm here to help :P

[ski]

Good news, I got medicine:

Xanax - for when I feel like I'm gonna lose it, it's supposed to cool me off and have the same effects of alcohol, without the danger of becoming alcoholic (but have to not become addicted to it, doh)

Lexapro - anti depressant that I stopped taking this fall. Got 3-6 months of it I have to take, BUT!!! I can drink alcohol while taking it.

Talking to your doctor is great. :)

[revil]

did he know what's wrong?

[eSDee]

Did they do a MRI of your melon? I am glad that you got some help but I would keep looking for an answer if I were you. Just to be safe see if you can get a cat scan or MRI.

Good luck brutha.

[nickel]

sounds like a winner skiAtomic, but i agree with eSDee. ask for a MRI of your noggin, and then you can really rest assured.

[ski]

Dang, I didn't even think or know about an MRI. Will do and hopefully those tests are cheap. (post if they are or aren't so I'll know how big a hit I'm making my parents take :))

[Kevster]

Originally posted by skiAtomic
Dang, I didn't even think or know about an MRI. Will do and hopefully those tests are cheap. (post if they are or aren't so I'll know how big a hit I'm making my parents take :))

Sorry to say it this way, but a traditional MRI is not going to help your doctor pinpoint the source of your emotional problems. It would only be useful in finding a tumor that would be putting pressure on parts of your brain or other truly "physical" problems.

You should definitely be talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist already about this and maybe look at further tests such as a PET scan or a fMRI (Functional MRI) to get a better idea of whats going on chemically/electrically in your brain. It is obvious you are already talking to someone - there may very well be an underlying cause to why you are having these attacks. If your doctor is good they will be able to help you determine if you have a possible panic or anxiety disorder. I don't want to get your hopes up, but this may be curable. There is also the distinct possiblity you could be coping with this for the rest of your life. Only further treatment and testing with a good doctor will tell.

Good luck - I know several people with disorders and everyone's case is different.

[Jcranmer]

Originally posted by skiAtomic
Dang, I didn't even think or know about an MRI. Will do and hopefully those tests are cheap. (post if they are or aren't so I'll know how big a hit I'm making my parents take :))

I think a typical MRI is at least a couple of grand, if you don't have insurance. It's not the same thing, but I did have a CT (Cat) scan done some time ago and the cost was very similer. Although I have good insurance and didn't have to pay anything for it out of pocket. (It was covered under Lab Work on my insurance)

[ski]

Thanks Kev and JCranmer... I kinda forgot about asking about an MRI since I'm concentrating on my tonsilectomy on Wednesday, but I s'pose that I'll take this medicine for a few months and go from there :)

Once again, thanks... you guys flat out rock for this helpful information

[Houdini]

Hi skiAtomic,

I'm glad you decided to go to a doctor about this. I wouldn't worry very much about the MRI right now. There may not be an indication for one at this time. Occasionally MRI studies can be helpful in diagnosing tumors and other things that MAY affect personality. MRI studies are generally much more expensive than CT scans and are used for different reasons. However, unless the Dr. has a reason to suspect a lesion, such imaging studies aren't always very helpful as screening tools. It sounds like your psychiatrist was helpful in prescribing Xanax and Lexapro. Be sure to explain to him how these episodes are different from your previous panic attacks, and be sure to discuss the "voice" that you feel during these attacks. Also, be sure to follow up with him immediately if things don't improve or if you feel worse.

Good luck!
whodini