So what does it mean when she says "I never want to see you again?" [Archive] - HP Deals, Computer Coupons And Bargains

eSDee

01-04-2004, 01:24 AM

Thanks for your support everyone. I am definitely going to let her have some time before I give her a call to see if we can salvage the relationship. Honestly I would say chances are about 20% that we will.

Originally posted by Yossarian
:eek: thats not good news bro....i'd give her about a week then see if she was serious.....if you don't mind my asking, what set her off?

It actually happened at 10pm on New Years Eve, so it was the worst new years ever as you can imagine. We were having a nice dinner at a great Italian restaurant when our argument began. We had been at ends with eachother so this was supposed to be kind of a reconciliation dinner. It didn't end up that way. I'll spare the details but after dinner we ended up yelling at eachother in my truck, and that's how she ended our conversation as she slammed my truck door shut :sad: It's been a difficult few days for me and I am sure for her as well. I love her very much but there are some key issues between us that might make it better that we break it off now instead of later.

Originally posted by oblongmelon
did you buy her a ring for xmas? If not -maybe thats the problem..who the hell wants to wait longer than two years to get the big guns..(1 carat or more)

Fortunately she isn't a gold digger like a lot of women so that wasn't the issue. This girl is extremely bright and has a lot of goals in her future(including heading out to Yale for a MFA in a year or two). Although she does want to get married and have kids, it is not an option at this point in her life.

Thanks again everyone.

ShawnLee

01-04-2004, 01:57 AM

I don't know dude. It doesn't sound like she was joking, but it does seem like it was said in the heat of the moment. Hopefully, you can talk to her after a cooling off period, and start a dialogue. I wish you the best of luck.

eSDee

01-04-2004, 02:11 AM

Originally posted by ShawnLee105
I don't know dude. It doesn't sound like she was joking, but it does seem like it was said in the heat of the moment. Hopefully, you can talk to her after a cooling off period, and start a dialogue. I wish you the best of luck.

I hear you man she definitely wasn't joking. I'm pretty confused about the whole thing.

oblongmelon

01-04-2004, 06:04 AM

[i]

Fortunately she isn't a gold digger like a lot of women so that wasn't the issue. This girl is extremely bright and has a lot of goals in her future(including heading out to Yale for a MFA in a year or two). Although she does want to get married and have kids, it is not an option at this point in her life.

Thanks again everyone. [/B]

ok listen to me..LISTEN..IT'S OVER TWO YEARS. OF COURSE she said she is not at the point in her life to get married and have babies-she did that for YOUR BENEFIT so you dont panic and take of running out of fear of committment..of COURSE she does want to be married and have babies! ..trust me on this one..being a gold digger has NOTHING to do with it-nothing at all,I bet if you had made the effort to even give her a cigar band-she'd still be with you-thats the problem with men...they don't see how good they have something till it's gone. SMARTEN UP. Make and attempt to get her back-but this time do it with a promise and a ring. If she says no-you're past your allotted forgiveness quota and you're F*cked.

Kim

01-04-2004, 06:24 AM

I'm so sorry eSDee, good luck to you!

Emqtee

01-04-2004, 06:41 AM

Sorry things are so messed up for you right now. Sounds like things were said out of anger. I am sure that she will regret saying that she never wants to see you again. After going out with someone for that length of time it is very difficult to just cut them out of your life.

Give her a little space. As much as it totally sucks now, it may turn out to be alright. It will give you time to really think about what you want and decide whether the issues you two have can be worked out or not.

LPMiller

01-04-2004, 08:04 AM

Originally posted by eSDeeLoco
So what does it mean when she says "I never want to see you again?"

I = personal pronoun, meaning the person speaking
Never = not if you were the last man on earth, not if you were the last dildo in the adult book store, not before the end of time, nor after
Want = desire
See = look, use optical orbs for viewing other objects, people, things
You = not me
Again = repetition of event

So, what she means is, give her a call. A week is far too long to let people stew. Seriously, the longer you go, the worse it will be.

sbp

01-04-2004, 09:06 AM

Originally posted by oblongmelon
ok listen to me..LISTEN..IT'S OVER TWO YEARS. OF COURSE she said she is not at the point in her life to get married and have babies-she did that for YOUR BENEFIT so you dont panic and take of running out of fear of committment..of COURSE she does want to be married and have babies! ..trust me on this one..being a gold digger has NOTHING to do with it-nothing at all,I bet if you had made the effort to even give her a cigar band-she'd still be with you-thats the problem with men...they don't see how good they have something till it's gone. SMARTEN UP. Make and attempt to get her back-but this time do it with a promise and a ring. If she says no-you're past your allotted forgiveness quota and you're F*cked. foo on this "its always the guys fault" view. If eSDeeLoco said he wanted to get married and have kids, he'd be portrayed as pressuring her.

Reality is sometimes women are commitment-phobic and don't appreciate a good guy. http://home.earthlink.net/~sbp777/smilies/bleh.gif

Heck, this one was willing to throw away almost 2 1/2 years just like that. http://home.earthlink.net/~sbp777/smilies/headshaker.gif

Our guy eSDeeLoco deserves to be treated better. I think it time for him to play the field and let other ladies out there have a shot on what they've been missing.

Grubbie

01-04-2004, 09:19 AM

Originally posted by oblongmelon
did you buy her a ring for xmas? If not -maybe thats the problem..who the hell wants to wait longer than two years to get the big guns..(1 carat or more)

It also depends on how old you are.... I have been with my gf for almost 5 yrs now, but its nto the same since we met in highschool and are still together throughout college. But who wants to get married when you live on opposite sides of the country?

Sorry to hear eSDeeLoco, like most are saying, give her tmie to calm down. Not sure how long it is, cause sometimes waiting too long pisses them off more. 5-7days does sound right though.

molecularfire

01-04-2004, 12:59 PM

My advice for what it's worth...
1) Send her something sweet now as an apology gift.

2) Call her in a week and have a serious talk.

If you guys break up, so be it. But from your tone, sounds like you think this is worth fighting for.

caribiner23

01-04-2004, 02:44 PM

foo on this "its always the guys fault" view. If eSDeeLoco said he wanted to get married and have kids, he'd be portrayed as pressuring her.

From your mouth to God's ears, sbp. :halo:

I've come to the conclusion that while a lot of women say they want a nice guy, a good portion of them don't know what to do with him once they have one. Then it's blamed on a dysfunctional childhood, a bad previous marriage, a bad previous relationship, etc.

SD, thoughts are with you, buddy. If you think it's worth fighting for, I think molecularfire's approach is the best.

Nija

01-04-2004, 06:19 PM

I'm gonna go out and venture that she doesn't want to see you again.

/me tries not reading into anything

/blissfully ignorant

and if a woman leaves you because you don't put a ring on her finger, well then she didn't deserve the ring to begin with.

nickel

01-04-2004, 09:47 PM

i think she might not mean it and said it in the heat of the moment.

i would give her some time. distance makes the heart grow fonder.

cheapie

01-04-2004, 09:49 PM

do you have to give the beer glass back?

nickel

01-04-2004, 09:51 PM

Originally posted by cheapie
do you have to give the beer glass back?
:heh:

oh gawd cheapie, you nut :P

eSDee

01-04-2004, 11:57 PM

Some excellent ideas and caring hearts here. Thanks for helping me bounce this around. I think I will follow a few peoples advice and give her a little time, but send her something nice to let her know that I am thinking about her. I do know that I cannot let all that that we have built together be destroyed in a few moments. I know that I have to see if there is any chance at working out, otherwise if I don't then years down the road I will be wondering if I did all I could do. That is something that I don't want to have to wonder, so I'll do it now. If it is meant to be then it will happen, otherwise I'll move on.

Cheapie if it doesn't work out I'll send you the beer mug ;)

Thanks everyone!

Leebo

01-05-2004, 09:46 AM

Hope it all works out. Also good to see your attitude towards it all. :)

InfiniteNothing

01-05-2004, 09:49 AM

Hey bro, I know how that must suck. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I think some women need to grow up and understand the importance of sticking together. It always pisses me off how easily some of them can slip out of love. I'm in a similar situation. Sometimes I think damn, why is something this bad happening to me and I try and explain it with "Everything happens for a reason", "Everything was for the best", etc. but I'm not really sure if any of that is true. But what can you do?
Well, I've been trying to regain some self confidence to be happy again. All you can do is go out there and do what makes you happy. When you work, work hard; when you play, play hard. Good luck man and I hope you get what ever will make you happy.

avlena

01-05-2004, 12:28 PM

Originally posted by Nija
and if a woman leaves you because you don't put a ring on her finger, well then she didn't deserve the ring to begin with.

not true... for most people, the ultimate climax of a relationship is to marry and live happily ever after. I plan on having a successful tech career, working my way up to upper mgmt, etc... but i would also like to come home to a loving husband at night.

that said... why would you continue something that you don't believe will meet your goals? if marriage is one of my goals, and i come to the conclusion that my signifant other is never gonna propose, then why stay in the relationship? why waste my time if it isn't going anywhere? doesn't mean i'm less worthy of a ring, doesn't mean i love the guy any less... it just means the relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

I'm not sure we can say this is the case in eSDee's situation (i don't think there's a deadline for engagement, it's more about how the relationship grows). it just sounds like you guys had a doozy of a fight, and now you'll have to work things out. on the up point, if you guys manage to work your way through this, you'll probably be ready for all the other curveballs life will throw!! good luck!!

ps: i like molecularfire's suggestion btw... it'd work with me! sending flowers as an apology is cliche, but heck, it works!

zenbooty

01-05-2004, 12:49 PM

What's it mean? It means a trip to Vegas is in order, with lots of time set aside for b*tches and blow! :D

Nija

01-05-2004, 01:03 PM

Originally posted by avlena

not true... for most people, the ultimate climax of a relationship is to marry and live happily ever after. I plan on having a successful tech career, working my way up to upper mgmt, etc... but i would also like to come home to a loving husband at night.

that said... why would you continue something that you don't believe will meet your goals? if marriage is one of my goals, and i come to the conclusion that my signifant other is never gonna propose, then why stay in the relationship? why waste my time if it isn't going anywhere? doesn't mean i'm less worthy of a ring, doesn't mean i love the guy any less... it just means the relationship doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

I'm not sure we can say this is the case in eSDee's situation (i don't think there's a deadline for engagement, it's more about how the relationship grows). it just sounds like you guys had a doozy of a fight, and now you'll have to work things out. on the up point, if you guys manage to work your way through this, you'll probably be ready for all the other curveballs life will throw!! good luck!!

You don't deserve the ring, just because you've been with the person. You deserve the ring when the person gives it to you, as far as I'm concerned. Now if the person is never going to give you the ring, and then by all means, leave if the ring is what you are looking for. but don't think you deserve it, and then you don't get it.

Maybe the guy (i'm being generic here so as not to say anything about eSDee or his relationship, since i know nothing of it) doesn't want to get marrried, ever. maybe the guy doesn't want to get married to you. whatever.

did that explain what I meant? I was trying to keep it fairly gender neutral because I believe that a woman can propose to, and the same rules should apply for them.

Originally posted by zenbooty
What's it mean? It means a trip to Vegas is in order, with lots of time set aside for b*tches and blow! :D

:stupid:

that too :heh:

nickel

01-05-2004, 01:05 PM

yeh, take Nija's advice on women. he is looking for the opportunity to break a woman's jaw. :rolleyes:

Nija

01-05-2004, 01:55 PM

Originally posted by nickelback
yeh, take Nija's advice on women. he is looking for the opportunity to break a woman's jaw. :rolleyes:

hey, thanks for keeping it in one thread, so only those who had already ventured there know about your hate of me. BTW, i thought you had me on ignore? great so your a liar too, thanks for admitting to that too!

goddamn woman, grow the hell up :rolleyes:

nickel

01-05-2004, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by Nija

hey, thanks for keeping it in one thread, so only those who had already ventured there know about your hate of me. BTW, i thought you had me on ignore? great so your a liar too, thanks for admitting to that too!

goddamn woman, grow the hell up :rolleyes:
wanna meet up so you can say that in person and then hit me?
i'm up for it.

oh and stfu :wavey:

Nija

01-05-2004, 02:24 PM

Originally posted by nickelback

wanna meet up so you can say that in person and then hit me?
i'm up for it.

oh and stfu :wavey:

:disa: wow your really intent on this me hitting you, aren't you? I'm sure you can find a more local Dom for your beating needs.

Besides, if you will read what your mis-quoting, I said I would love for you to hit me, so I could break your jaw. So your bitchy-unrelenting-to-get-the-last-word-in ass can get it right. would you like me to put it in my sig so you can see it all the time? oh, wait, you have me on ignore... I could never have told :rolleyes:

Sorry eSDee for bringing this trash into your thread.

nickel

01-05-2004, 02:35 PM

Originally posted by Nija

:disa: wow your really intent on this me hitting you, aren't you? I'm sure you can find a more local Dom for your beating needs.

Besides, if you will read what your mis-quoting, I said I would love for you to hit me, so I could break your jaw. So your bitchy-unrelenting-to-get-the-last-word-in ass can get it right. would you like me to put it in my sig so you can see it all the time? oh, wait, you have me on ignore... I could never have told :rolleyes:

Sorry eSDee for bringing this trash into your thread.
well at least you apologized to eSDee for bringing yourself into his thread.

and you are mis-quoting me. where did i say i had you "on ignore"? i said i was going to listen to those who said to ignore you in that thread, and as you can see i didn't respond to you directly after that post.

so stfu :wavey:

ShawnLee

01-05-2004, 02:41 PM

Dang... It's just everywhere now, isn't it?

Nija

01-05-2004, 02:47 PM

Originally posted by nickelback

well at least you apologized to eSDee for bringing yourself into his thread.

and you are mis-quoting me. where did i say i had you "on ignore"? i said i was going to listen to those who said to ignore you in that thread, and as you can see i didn't respond to you directly after that post.

so stfu :wavey:

I believe this would lead me to it

ok, imma take the advice of the 5 ppl who have PMed me so far and told me to ignore you

bye bye

sure as hell sounds like you are supposed to be putting me on ignore, so you can ignore me, so you can continue to live in your fantasy world of everyone liking you and your book to a dead men, and old quotes.

your really don't know when to give up, do you? you want me to start insulting you or something? oh wait, then i would be going down to your level. can't have that.

how about this, take your pissing and moaning, and bellyaching and keep it in your quotations to your father thread, that way you don't keep ****ing up the thread for everyone else. I can't wait for you to stop ragging.

ray

01-05-2004, 02:56 PM

I love you all.

nickel

01-05-2004, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by Nija

I believe this would lead me to it

sure as hell sounds like you are supposed to be putting me on ignore, so you can ignore me, so you can continue to live in your fantasy world of everyone liking you and your book to a dead men, and old quotes.

your really don't know when to give up, do you? you want me to start insulting you or something? oh wait, then i would be going down to your level. can't have that.

how about this, take your pissing and moaning, and bellyaching and keep it in your quotations to your father thread, that way you don't keep ****ing up the thread for everyone else. I can't wait for you to stop ragging.
you sound totally ridiculous, and you are continuing this, not me.
and out of respect for the other members of this forum, who i am sure are sick of your white trash-isms as much as i am, i suggest you take your rebuttals to this post to PM.

LPMiller

01-05-2004, 04:12 PM

You both continue it each time you respond to each other. If neither one of you does it anymore, it won't be a problem.

Be a shame to get this thread locked on poor esdee.

Nija

01-05-2004, 04:13 PM

Originally posted by nickelback

you sound totally ridiculous, and you are continuing this, not me.
and out of respect for the other members of this forum, who i am sure are sick of your white trash-isms as much as i am, i suggest you take your rebuttals to this post to PM.

Why yes, I do believe it was you, not me, who came into this thread, after I had already been here, and started insulting me. So YOU, take attention cravings to PM's, so i can more easily stop listening to you, and stop killing other's threads.

Kevster

01-05-2004, 05:42 PM

Nija and Nickelback, this is for you:

http://home1.gte.net/res0uku8/strife.jpg

Esdee, I have been in this situation before and for me it eventually broke down to us going our seperate ways. Of course it took another 3 months (which I could have better spent doing something else) to get to that point. In my opinion this is yet another crossroads for you and her. If you really think this is something worth salvaging, go for it full gusto and don't look back. If not, spare each other the agony and torture of drawing something out much longer than it should.

Kim

01-06-2004, 05:33 AM

How are things eSDee?

Peachhead

01-07-2004, 06:09 PM

wow..I'm a little behind on the news here, been out of touch for a week or so..but damn.

Sorry to hear about that, SD..I hope things work out for you if that's what you want. If not..I know its going to suck :( but you have to remember, things will get better with time. Don't rush yourself but get out there and find someone else..it helps.

Good luck man!

DankNstickY

01-07-2004, 11:32 PM

yup. i've been inactive for a while too.

that sucks esdee...
i'm guessing she meant it, at the moment though. i'm sure she's feeling the exact same way you are. like the others said, give her a little time, but by now its been a week, and then try talking it over. its not just you who's feeling like sh*t, so i'm sure she'll be willing to try to settle it.

GL weedy

rajatQ2

01-08-2004, 06:08 PM

I'm with Kevster on this one. Don't draw this one out if you can help it. I was in a similar situation with a girl i dated for 3 years in college, and after spending 6 months in constant battles, we split. We'd grown in separate directions, and in retrospect it made sense why we fought so much.

Here is a famous quote that I love:
"The perfect relationship is the one where your love for one another outweighs your need for eachother" or something like that.

eSDee

01-08-2004, 11:57 PM

I still have not done anything about the situation except stir and I have not heard anything from her either. The longer I think about it the more I have doubts that we should be together. Don't get me wrong it still feels like schitt. I wouldn't say that I feel better but I guess I feel less worse.

I'm still confused but hoping for inspiration. Thanks for asking and thanks again for your support.

whitak24

01-09-2004, 08:30 AM

esdee, sorry to hear about the girly. that sucks....i can't imagine how bad it is right now. hang in there -- i'm around if you need to chat.

Originally posted by oblongmelon
ok listen to me..LISTEN..IT'S OVER TWO YEARS. OF COURSE she said she is not at the point in her life to get married and have babies-she did that for YOUR BENEFIT so you dont panic and take of running out of fear of committment..of COURSE she does want to be married and have babies! ..trust me on this one..being a gold digger has NOTHING to do with it-nothing at all,I bet if you had made the effort to even give her a cigar band-she'd still be with you-thats the problem with men...they don't see how good they have something till it's gone. SMARTEN UP. Make and attempt to get her back-but this time do it with a promise and a ring. If she says no-you're past your allotted forgiveness quota and you're F*cked.
obby, with all due respect, this is bullsh*t. perhaps at one time this was considered typical, but for many women in our (mine and esdee's) generation, that is not the case. take me and my friends, for example:
me - been dating for 5.5 years, currently she's a law student at ohio state, i'm a law student at columbia. no ring coming for at least 2 years.

friend 1 - been dating 6+ years, currently she's a grad student at harvard, he's a law student at columbia. no ring coming any time soon.

friend 2 - been dating around 5 years, she's a med student at harvard, he's a law student at columbia. no ring coming any time soon.

this is just a random group of people, but we're all in similar situations - both people in the couple pursuing educational goals and wanting to get started on careers. and for those of us who would rather not have engagements that drag on for years, and who know we aren't going to be getting married any time soon, there's no point in buying a ring and getting engaged just to say we did.

i think esdee knows his GF better than any of us (other than topane, i would imaging :hihi: ), and from what he's said, the ring thing didn't prompt her little outburst.

caribiner23

01-13-2004, 05:45 AM

esdee, it's been a few more days.

Anything you want to share with us?

eSDee

01-14-2004, 02:31 AM

My girl left me a package yesterday with a really nice long letter as well as a card telling me how much she loves me. It was very nice and I was quite touched. I am going to try and get together with her tomorrow to see if we can figure some things out :)

:happydance:

zenbooty

01-14-2004, 04:49 AM

Happy days, man.

caribiner23

01-14-2004, 05:44 AM

Wonderful!

Wishing you all the best... :angel:

nickel

01-14-2004, 05:48 AM

Originally posted by eSDeeLoco
My girl left me a package yesterday with a really nice long letter as well as a card telling me how much she loves me. It was very nice and I was quite touched. I am going to try and get together with her tomorrow to see if we can figure some things out :)

:happydance:
awesome!
absence makes the heart grow fonder. all she needed was time to realize she really doesn't like being without you. :)

whitak24

01-14-2004, 06:59 AM

nice man. hope stuff works out.....maybe some time away has given her time to work through the stuff in her head.

Kim

01-14-2004, 06:59 AM

Good luck!

ray

01-14-2004, 08:46 AM

Originally posted by eSDeeLoco
My girl left me a package yesterday with a really nice long letter as well as a card telling me how much she loves me. It was very nice and I was quite touched. I am going to try and get together with her tomorrow to see if we can figure some things out :)

:happydance:

Let me know how it goes. And if you want to do a little special something during a Chargers game I'll see if I can hook you up
;)

CynJon

01-14-2004, 08:49 AM

Glad to hear it EsDee--hope everything works out.

Grimm

01-15-2004, 04:05 PM

Watch your back. Women are evil... especialy NB.

nickel

01-15-2004, 05:51 PM

Originally posted by Grimm
Watch your back. Women are evil... especialy NB.
moi? :angel:

eSDee

01-16-2004, 01:49 AM

Originally posted by nickelback

moi? :angel:

Nickel is a good one. She's just got the sex drive of a guy ;)

Things are going well with my lady. Trying to go back to where we were before the fight would most likely lead us to the same predicament, so instead we are gonna rewind and take it slow so that we can try to remember why the hell we have been together so long in the first place. I have been in a long relationship before but the one thing about this girl is that I don't get bored of her. She is always making me laugh and I am constantly impressed by her. She is definitely in the top 1 percentile :)

So we'll see where this goes. At the very least we didn't end that way on New Years Eve. It would have been a tragedy if the best relationship I have ever been in were to end so dramatically. If it did, I'm not sure if I would want to do it again.

Once again I am reminded why I dig this community so much. There are some really stellar people here who despite not knowing eachother IRL, are always supportive of eachother. In my case I am talking about all you who have posted in this thread and have sent me PM's and IM's full of support and advice. You have helped me resolve this situation the best way possible. I probably would have messed up without your advice. Honestly.

Here's to all of you. I wish you all the best :cheers: