When you screw up, how do you show her?

[ski]

How do you show her you're serious about correcting a mistake or rectifying things?

There's a girl I've been starting to date and we've spent a lot of meaningful time together. However, on Feb. 14th (good old VALENTINE'S DAY!), she cancelled dinner plans on me for unknown reasons, and long story short, I drank a crapload of alcohol and ended up hooking up with another gal in the organization we're all in. Crap. :(

I told the dating girl about it, and she was really crushed, but fortunately she felt strongly enough that we could get by it, that she suggested I should try to show her that she can trust me in the future (I agree).

<sarcasm>The only way I can think of is to like have my friends hire strippers, then I would be like "No, I can't be here, it's not right" or try to get a girl to flirt with me, and then I'd have to shoot her down</sarcasm>

The only ways I can think of to show her she can trust me are in unexpected incidents, i.e. nothing I can actively do for her. Do you have any ways to do this?

[molecularfire]

Unfortunately, we can't undo our mistakes. It's not wise to set up a scenario like the ones you've described right now because if she has anything above a room temperature IQ, she should spot it out pretty easily. The only way that you can make up for this is to dote on her for the next couple of months and spend the rest of your life (or as long as you two are together) not banging other girls. JMO.

[nickel]

from my own personal experience, i had a guy i thought i was dating exclusively, go after my sister's best friend after a night of drinking. i was crushed, but he admitted to it, and my feelings were strong enough for him that i gave it another try.
but two strikes and he would've been out.
he didn't have to do any a$$ kissing after the fact. he didn't have to do anything but promise me it wouldn't happen again, and i let him know through no uncertain terms that it wouldn't happen again or i'd be gone.

so i would say you can make it up to her but being honest and caring from here on out.

[caribiner23]

The fact that she says she feels strongly enough to get past it is good, but this statement really gives me the creeps:

she suggested I should try to show her that she can trust me in the future
You admitted to your mistake. This shows you are a person of character (misstep notwithstanding). If she's mature and serious enough to want to work to get past this, your admitting to it should be enough. You should never have to tap dance to "prove" yourself.

My concern for you is that she will hold this over your head for the duration of your relationship and never actually trust you. It's like the Seinfeld episode where they talked about having "hand" over the other person.

If this relationship is important to you, I would recommend a heart-to-heart with her and ask if she honestly could ever trust you.

Good luck! :)

[ski]

Dudeman, thanks caribiner... that is great insight. And nickel's similar situation as well ... you guys rock me once again :)

[caribiner23]

Glad to help. It just means the lumps I've taken can help someone else out. :thumbup:

And I meant to acknowledge NB's excellent answer but I hit "submit" too soon.

[Airencracken]

Originally posted by skiAtomic
How do you show her you're serious about correcting a mistake or rectifying things?...Do you have any ways to do this?

http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=71896

Is this what that thread is about??? :D :bandit:

[brainsmile]

cut it off man

[wxtwiztidxc]

Dude you should send a guy to flirt with her and see if she goes for him. Then you can have something on her..hahaha.. Maybe not, but caribiner23 is right... I kinda had this same situation happen to me and that chick held it againts me threw the relationship and still does to this day has friends. Make sure you can trust her and she can trust you. :)