Current girlfriend woes!

[ski]

Announcer: ski's up to bat... he swings... AND A MISS!

WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN!!

The past 5 nights, my girlfriend of 2 weeks has told me that we'll have a "sleepover." Well, Friday and Saturday night went by unsuccessful, so she said we should watch a movie and sleepover Sunday night. We watch SE7EN (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114369/) because she wanted to watch it, then she ditches out afterwards because her roommate got home, and she justified it by saying "you know, chicks before dicks." :(

I made sure last night that she knew I was ticked that she kept making plans and breaking them. Tonight we were supposed to watch a TV show at 10pm, so I call at 9:15 to figure out her place or mine.

Her: "Hey, I'm on my way home right now, I'll give you a call back"

She had been gone since 5pm somewhere, but oh well, I just wanted to figure out the plan. 10:00 rolls around and no call. I leave a message -- her phone's off now. 11:15 rolls around and her roommate asks me if I know where she is... UH OH! We eventually find out she's piss drunk and at her ex-boyfriend's apartment. :angry:

What the f**k... I plan to talk to her about it, but how tolerant should one be when you keep getting blown off, and ESPECIALLY after you've had a talk about it?

[Nija]

yur this bent out of shape over a girl you've been going out with for 2 weeks? :|

[yippiekiyeh]

Well, all I have to say is she has no respect for you, time to ditch the witch and move on.

[slaus]

Seriously it doesnt look good. I think yippiekiyeh might be right.

[look_ma]

I dont know, only 2 weeks in and you already got a sleep over going. F the chance for a real relationship, F her for a 1 night.

[Memo]

Dude the not sleeping over is understandable, annoying, but understandable. But in connection with her blowing you off to get piss drunk at an ex boyfriends? Oh hell no man. **** THAT. You would be a complete jackass to keep this relationship going.

[zenbooty]

Hate to be one who reads a book by its cover, but I had a feeling that girl was trouble when I saw her picture you posted. I have two theories:

1. The girl is a headcase. She led you on for days, then blew you off to get drunk and hang out with an ex-boyfriend (and hook up with, in all likelihood). She is an attention starved user who you'd be best off avoiding.


2. The girl has been inviting you over night after night, and you still have not made a move on her. Its like you're waiting for her expressed permission or something. She's bored, wants a guy who knows what he wants and is willing to go get it, and you just haven't lived up to that standard. So she blew you off to go tie one on and get laid, and the ex was an easy option. She is probably not for you.

[caribiner23]

You're better than this, ski... time to clear the decks.

[Merlin]

Did you ever hear that song by the Offspring called Self Esteem? :hehehmm:

Whatever you do don't go groveling back. She eother does not care about you, most likely the case, and as such must be dismissed. Or she is seeing just what she can get away with. Chicks love testing boundries. Let her know what you find unacceptable and make it clear. And try cancelling on her once in a while. If you're always available then where is the "specialness" of your attention.

[Pinkgirl36]

Originally posted by yippiekiyeh
Well, all I have to say is she has no respect for you, time to ditch the witch and move on.

yeah I agree. *SO* not worth it!

[ski]

Haha, excellent responses :)

She called last night practically weeping because she felt so bad. My best bud advised me to just be stoic and tell her I'd talk to her tomorrow. At least I've got the upper hand now...

zen - you are right with both theories. #1, she's very attention starved. Her cell phone will ring 2-3 times in the 2 hours hangout times we spend, and a few times, she will answer at like 11:30pm and say, "Yeah, I can come over... 12:30? Okay" and of course she'll have to leave within an hour to get there. #2 though, I have a hard time making a move when we only get 1-2 hours to hang out, hence, if she committed to stay longer , that's more accommodating to get in the mood :naughty: However, with all of this going on, it'll be a while before ski will feel comfy getting intimate.

Bah, I'll talk to her today and let her know what the boss thinks of her actions ;)

[caribiner23]

As long as we're on the advice train...

Don't call her today.



She called last night practically weeping because she felt so bad.

Crocodile tears, man. It ain't authentic.

Do you honestly think her behavior is going to change? Based on what you've posted about her, she has a lot of growing up to do. Come on-- the phone ringing constantly? Her almost complete unreliability?

Like Merlin said, cancel on her-- you set the schedule. Don't make yourself so available.

[ray]

doesn't sound like she's worth the effort.

[whitak24]

dude, she is pretty hot. send her over my way :P

[cheapchinese]

make her a booty call.. don't get committed to this one bro

[molecularfire]

IMO, whether the tears are real or not, is irrelevant. What she might've done or not done with her ex. is irrelevant. In this scenario to be honest, her opinions, feelings, etc... are irrelevant. The questions that you have to ask yourself are:
1) What is it that you want from her? Is she useful for purely physical reasons (in which case, use this situation to your advantage) or are you interested in something that would require more of an emotional investment (in which case, you guys really have a lot to work through).
2)Is she capable of/willing to giving you what you want? If she isn't, then putting further effort into this is just an exercise in futility. If the product is not possible, then it's pointless to think about cost.
3) If the answer to #2 is yes, then is the investment needed to get what you want worth the cost?
I would decide what to do based on that.

[ski]

molecularfire - you're not an engineer, are you? your train of thought reminds me much of my own, thinking analytically :)

whitak - dude! you had first dibs in the other thread, i wouldn't take that away from you! :P

[nickel]

getting in a late response here, but...

whatever you do, as Merlin said, no groveling. i cannot stand that. it is pathetic and will turn her right off.
play hard to get, or semi-hard to get, and even let her call you. if she calls - i say BINGO, she is interested for real.

[Kevster]

Originally posted by skiAtomic
Haha, excellent responses :)

She called last night practically weeping because she felt so bad. My best bud advised me to just be stoic and tell her I'd talk to her tomorrow. At least I've got the upper hand now...

zen - you are right with both theories. #1, she's very attention starved. Her cell phone will ring 2-3 times in the 2 hours hangout times we spend, and a few times, she will answer at like 11:30pm and say, "Yeah, I can come over... 12:30? Okay" and of course she'll have to leave within an hour to get there. #2 though, I have a hard time making a move when we only get 1-2 hours to hang out, hence, if she committed to stay longer , that's more accommodating to get in the mood :naughty: However, with all of this going on, it'll be a while before ski will feel comfy getting intimate.

Bah, I'll talk to her today and let her know what the boss thinks of her actions ;)

Ski,

I dated someone like this with the same kind of looks too - it only lasted a month before I gave up on anything happening long-term with her. I'm just guessing here, but is your new GF the kind of girl that just bounces from one person to the next? They're good for a short time and nothing more. Also, does she have any idea what she wants to do with her life yet? Probably not, I would guess.

Interestingly enough, I started dating Mrs. Kevster after I broke it off with the flake (Merlin will probably remember her - Tanya) because I had a bunch of things I wanted to do that required someone who was going to actually enjoy them. These kinds of things included art gallery openings, tv show tapings, etc.

Good luck on this one man - I feel for you in your frustrations!

[whitak24]

Originally posted by Kevster
Good luck on this one man - I fell for you in your frustrations!
uh, does mrs. kevster know about this? :eek:

TYPOS SUCK! :hihi:

[Kevster]

Originally posted by whitak24

uh, does mrs. kevster know about this? :eek:

TYPOS SUCK! :hihi:

:heh: TYPOS SUCK!

Actually, Mrs. Kevster knew all about The Flake. They were even in a class together when Mrs. Kevster and I started dating. We still laugh about her sometimes.

[ski]

Originally posted by Kevster

Good luck on this one man - I fell for you in your frustrations!
You had me at hello :bawl:

j/k :P

She ended up coming over here to talk with me, and it's workin' out. The times that she got a call and had to go somewhere, it was apparently for a friend who is going through a really hard time, but I assumed she left because she would rather hang out with someone else. Partly her fault for not telling me, partly mine for not asking. Ah well, I'm learning a lot from this experience. Gone to Florida next week, so the break will do us good :thumb:

[DaFunkyUnit]

Originally posted by skiAtomic

Gone to Florida next week, so the break will do us good :thumb:

be sure to have some "going-away-sex" with her before you go away (hence the name....)