CuzimRoysMom
04-02-2004, 05:26 AM
2004 Politics
> >
> >
> >
> >"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the
> >end of
> >the Bush administration. I agree. It may take another five years, but
> >this is it."
> >Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats
> >finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle."
> >Craig Kilborn
> >
> >"Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that
> >because
> >John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick
> >him.
> >Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him." Jay Leno
> >
> >"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban
> >on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris
> >Hilton."
> >David Letterman
> >
> >"During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly
> >to each other some political experts think that they may end up running
> >together.
> >In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them
> >of
> >planning a gay marriage." Conan O'Brien
> >
> >"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you
> >see,
> >that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from
> >all that
> >flip-flopping on issues." Jay Leno
> >
> >"Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this?
> >Yesterday,
> >a 27-year-old woman came forward to deny rumors that she had an affair
> >with
> >Democratic front-runner John Kerry. The woman added, "I would never
> >cheat
> >on Bill Clinton." Conan O'Brien
> >
> >"The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John
> >Kerry's
> >war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it
> >voters
> >will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the
> >war. I'll
> >be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him." Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich
> >and his
> >wife said, 'Hey, shut up! What's the matter with you?! Are you nuts?!'"
> >Jay Leno
> >
> >"They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first
> >wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife,
> >is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after
> >the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!" Jay
> >Leno
> >
> >"In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was
> >married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild,
> >Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a
> >Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women." Jay Leno
> >
> >"In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted
> >to
> >defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his
> >wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune." Jay
> >Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the
> >presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale
> >who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from
> >Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from
> >Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game." Jay Leno
> >
> >"The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate
> >John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out.
> >Apparently she couldn't handle dating someone with bigger hair then she
> >had." Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the
> >doctors did tell him it would be several months before he could be
> >sexually
> >active again. All the other Democratic candidates have been very
> >supportive.
> >Joe Lieberman called to wish him the best. The Rev. Al Sharpton called
> >to
> >offer prayers. Former President Bill Clinton called Mrs. Kerry and asked
> >if
> >she was lonely." Jay Leno
> >
> >
> >
> >"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the
> >end of
> >the Bush administration. I agree. It may take another five years, but
> >this is it."
> >Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats
> >finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle."
> >Craig Kilborn
> >
> >"Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that
> >because
> >John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick
> >him.
> >Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him." Jay Leno
> >
> >"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban
> >on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris
> >Hilton."
> >David Letterman
> >
> >"During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly
> >to each other some political experts think that they may end up running
> >together.
> >In fact Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them
> >of
> >planning a gay marriage." Conan O'Brien
> >
> >"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you
> >see,
> >that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from
> >all that
> >flip-flopping on issues." Jay Leno
> >
> >"Presidential campaign getting kind of ugly, did you hear about this?
> >Yesterday,
> >a 27-year-old woman came forward to deny rumors that she had an affair
> >with
> >Democratic front-runner John Kerry. The woman added, "I would never
> >cheat
> >on Bill Clinton." Conan O'Brien
> >
> >"The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John
> >Kerry's
> >war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it
> >voters
> >will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the
> >war. I'll
> >be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him." Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich
> >and his
> >wife said, 'Hey, shut up! What's the matter with you?! Are you nuts?!'"
> >Jay Leno
> >
> >"They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first
> >wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife,
> >is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after
> >the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!" Jay
> >Leno
> >
> >"In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was
> >married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild,
> >Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a
> >Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women." Jay Leno
> >
> >"In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted
> >to
> >defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his
> >wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune." Jay
> >Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the
> >presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale
> >who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from
> >Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from
> >Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game." Jay Leno
> >
> >"The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate
> >John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out.
> >Apparently she couldn't handle dating someone with bigger hair then she
> >had." Jay Leno
> >
> >"John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the
> >doctors did tell him it would be several months before he could be
> >sexually
> >active again. All the other Democratic candidates have been very
> >supportive.
> >Joe Lieberman called to wish him the best. The Rev. Al Sharpton called
> >to
> >offer prayers. Former President Bill Clinton called Mrs. Kerry and asked
> >if
> >she was lonely." Jay Leno