CuzimRoysMom
04-02-2004, 05:27 AM
Mammograms
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >.
> > > >
> > > >Many women are afraid of their first Mammogram, but there's no need to
> > > >worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam,
> > and
> > > >doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared.
> > And
> > > >you can do this right in your own home!
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 1:
> > > >
> > > >Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
> > the
> > > >main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean
> > > >on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while
> > > >you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't
> > > >effective enough.
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 2:
> > > >
> > > >Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is
> > just
> > > >perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one
> > > >breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly
> > back
> > > >the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn
> > > >over and repeat for the other breast.
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 3:
> > > >Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
> > stranger
> > > >into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash
> > the
> > > >bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the
> > stranger
> > > >to meet next week and do it again!!
> > > >
> > > >CONGRATULATIONS!
> > > >Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your
> > Mammogram!
> > > >
> > > >And just a thought for all you women out there:
> > > >
> > > >MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause. Ever
> > notice
> > > >how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real
> > > >problems, it's HISterectomy!
> > > >
> > > >Send this to all the women you know, and brighten their day!...
> > > >
> > > >P.S. Don't forget the "GUY"necologist!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >.
> > > >
> > > >Many women are afraid of their first Mammogram, but there's no need to
> > > >worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam,
> > and
> > > >doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared.
> > And
> > > >you can do this right in your own home!
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 1:
> > > >
> > > >Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
> > the
> > > >main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut and lean
> > > >on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds (while
> > > >you hold your breath). Repeat again, in case the first time wasn't
> > > >effective enough.
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 2:
> > > >
> > > >Visit your garage at 3 am when the temperature of the cement floor is
> > just
> > > >perfect. Take off your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one
> > > >breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly
> > back
> > > >the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn
> > > >over and repeat for the other breast.
> > > >
> > > >Exercise 3:
> > > >Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
> > stranger
> > > >into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash
> > the
> > > >bookends together as hard as you can. Set an appointment with the
> > stranger
> > > >to meet next week and do it again!!
> > > >
> > > >CONGRATULATIONS!
> > > >Now you have nothing at all to worry about when you go for your
> > Mammogram!
> > > >
> > > >And just a thought for all you women out there:
> > > >
> > > >MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause. Ever
> > notice
> > > >how all of women's problems start with men? And when we have real
> > > >problems, it's HISterectomy!
> > > >
> > > >Send this to all the women you know, and brighten their day!...
> > > >
> > > >P.S. Don't forget the "GUY"necologist!