Any Catholic people here?

[LegendKiller]

I have a question to ask.

My brother had a baby about 8 months ago. His wife is Catholic, he is not (methodist). I was told that I could not be the godfather due to me not being Catholic and me not being married.

However, her brother could. Her brother has 2 kids out of wedlock, is living in the same house with the woman and vows to NEVER marry her. Fuurthermore, he is an ass who treats her family like crap.

I have talked to many catholics about this, all throughout the country, not ONE has ever heard of non-catholics being prohibited from godfathership. My fiance has even talked to a couple that had 3 babies, all have jewish god parents.

My mom backs my brother up, but I think they are both lying to me so I do not get mad. I think that my sister-in-law demanded that my niece have her brother as a godfather, so they made up a lame excuse.

Yes, this is still eating me up. The fact that I am not the godfather doesn't bother me as much as the fact that they lied to me.

So, any catholics out there have any experience with this?


LK

[hoey222]

not being married is bs -
i was god father to one of my cousins when i was 16...

the not catholic thing i think is bs too... we were told that ONE of the godparents had to be catholic.

it may also depend on the diocese you live in. i'm not sure if tose rules change from place to place.

true it does sound like a lame excuse.....

[LegendKiller]

Neither my fiance or I are catholic.

As far as the diocese thing, thats why I wanted a decent sample of people.

Thanks for the info.

[Cantacuzene]

I've never heard of that being a rule. Then again, they could be those retro-Mel Gibson type fire and brimestone catholics. But as far as I know only one has to be catholic and even then I'm betting most diocese wouldn't really care.

[JackHammer]

Originally posted by LegendKiller
I have a question to ask.

My brother had a baby about 8 months ago. His wife is Catholic, he is not (methodist). I was told that I could not be the godfather due to me not being Catholic and me not being married.

However, her brother could. Her brother has 2 kids out of wedlock, is living in the same house with the woman and vows to NEVER marry her. Fuurthermore, he is an ass who treats her family like crap.

I have talked to many catholics about this, all throughout the country, not ONE has ever heard of non-catholics being prohibited from godfathership. My fiance has even talked to a couple that had 3 babies, all have jewish god parents.

My mom backs my brother up, but I think they are both lying to me so I do not get mad. I think that my sister-in-law demanded that my niece have her brother as a godfather, so they made up a lame excuse.

Yes, this is still eating me up. The fact that I am not the godfather doesn't bother me as much as the fact that they lied to me.

So, any catholics out there have any experience with this?


LK

Call up their church and ask. Say something like I was wondering if this or that. Don't give them the whole story so that way those boy-loving priests won't suspect a thing and will tell you the truth.

[nickel]

i am Catholic, and here our "rule" is that one of the godparents needs to be a practicing Catholic. but i do agree that this rule varies from parish to parish and priest to priest.
if one priest is stricter and won't allow you to be a godparent, go seek another.

the not being married part is a crock. i have never heard of that.

LK, it sounds like your brother or your sister-in-law is just looking for an excuse to exclude you. :(

[RoniMan]

actually, that's what one of my best friends told me after they got married and had a baby. they wanted me to be the godfather, but since i wasn't catholic, i couldn't do it...

so they made one of our other friends the fairy godmother... and they made me the "fairy godfather"...:shifty:

[nickel]

:heh: @ fairy godfather

[Emqtee]

The way I understand it is that one godparent has to be a practicing Catholic. The other can be a "special witness." One reason for this is because when the child eventually becomes confirmed they will need a sponsor, which used to be the godparent. It has been a long time since I have been a practicing Catholic this could be wrong.

Like was said above it also depends on the church. Some are more strict than others.

[oblongmelon]

When my second child was born, we chose to have our best friends be godparents instead of family (since all the family members already had tons of godchildren)..the priest at our church first told us that they could NOT be godparents because they were not Catholic, but that we could have surrogate godparents stand in place of them..(how much sense did THAT make?)..I called the Bishop and raised "holy hell"(get that joke?)..he informed me that I INDEED could have non catholics be godparents but they would have to take a class at the church for a few weeks..this was no problem and we ended up having them as godparents after all...this is the same parish that INSISTED THAT teenagers recieving the sacrament of confirmation HAD to use a Saints name (which was always the case)...One of my daughters picked CRUCIFICIA(the crucifiction) as her confirmation name and they weren't going to let her use it. The director of religious ed who was a lay person told her it was not a Saint's name. My brother who was her sponsor and a former Franciscan promptly put this woman in her place and gave her a huge lecture on the crucifiction, St. Crucificia and the catholic church. When my second daughter chose BENEDICTA as her confirmation name-we got no arguement from this director of religious ed because I think she was afraid of my brother..lol
personally, I think it depends on the attitude of the priest at the parish.

[chrissy]

If you really want the "rules" search for the Canon law regarding baptism (sound like a catholic geek don't I?)

I have found a couple sites, but you might find something you like better.

http://www.drvc.org/chancery/sponsor3.html

http://www.ourcatholicfaith.org/canon/CANON840-1165.htm

[LegendKiller]

My bro just called me and I bluffed his ass. I told him I called the church and they said you did not HAVE to be catholic. Of course, he all of the sudden waffled on me and said that 'You didn't have to be, but they encourage it'. Then he said there could be a 3rd person, which I never heard from him before.

So, pretty much, his woman has him whipped. Instead of admitting this fact to me and saying his brother in law would be godfather, he lied to me. The excuse went from, you had to be married, to you had to be catholic, to you didn't have to be catholic, to you dont have to be catholic but you could have a 3rd, to now...

"You have to take an active role in the childs life".

Since I live in FL and they live in MN, this is a pretty decent excuse, if I were stupid. However, I know MANY godparents that live in geographically seperated situations from their godchildren.

Lastly, the brother in law is an ass. He could care less about her.

I guess I am satisfied now that I have cought my brother in a lie, which should have been exposed before. As with Martha, the coverup is MUCH worse than the actual crime...


LK

[nickel]

too bad he had to lie
oh what wicked webs we weave, eh?

he should've just said they'd decided to pick whomever, case closed.

[PrObLy]

I'm catholic yet my church is a pretty laid back catholic church....although I haven't attended since I received my confirmation like 6 years ago. I think this whole not being able to be a godfather cuz you're not Catholic is a bunch of bull. I mean, people tell me stuff about catholics all the time that I've never heard of, yet I'm catholic myself. Supposedly I'm supposed to hold Mary higher than Jesus or something, no non-catholic is apparently allowed into my church, and I'm supposed to do nothing but say hail mary's all day.....what a bunch of bull****. So, I may be wrong about this, but either way I don't agree with you not being able to be the godfather of the child because you are not catholic.

[nickel]

Originally posted by LegendKiller
I have a question to ask.

My brother had a baby about 8 months ago. His wife is Catholic, he is not (methodist).


LK
what is most amazing in all of this is
LK's brother HAD A BABY! it's a medical breakthrough :P

[Merlin]

Remember one of the main functions of a godparent is to ensure the child gets their religon. Like an extra set of parents chasing them off to church on Sunday. And to do this the godparents should indeed be catholic.

[kimchicowboy]

my sis ain't catholic, nor married, and she's a godmama :)

[zenbooty]

I wouldn't worry too much about BS ceremony like this. What matters is that if something happens to your brother and sister-in-law, you and the rest of your family will be there to make sure the children are cared for, right? That being the case, who cares about a stupid symbolic ceremony or a stupid symbolic title (Not meaning to offend any Catholics, I'm just tying to take a "Scorn the grapes" attitude with this)?

[LegendKiller]

Originally posted by Merlin
Remember one of the main functions of a godparent is to ensure the child gets their religon. Like an extra set of parents chasing them off to church on Sunday. And to do this the godparents should indeed be catholic.


AFAIK, the main function of godparents in my family was to ensure that the children were looked after and their lives were enhanced by that person. Believe it or not, I can be a positive influence on a childs life *gasp*. Especially when compared to the moron who's the current godfather.


Originally posted by zenbooty
I wouldn't worry too much about BS ceremony like this. What matters is that if something happens to your brother and sister-in-law, you and the rest of your family will be there to make sure the children are cared for, right? That being the case, who cares about a stupid symbolic ceremony or a stupid symbolic title (Not meaning to offend any Catholics, I'm just tying to take a "Scorn the grapes" attitude with this)?


Well, according to the sister-in-law this guy is going to get the children if something happened to she and my brother. Which is completely rediculous

1. The guy has no values.
2. The family could give 2 flying F's about education.
3. He already has problems with his family and probably wouldn't make time for me or my family to see them.

Its just an all-around bad situation where the sis in law is yanking my brother by the chain and telling him what to do. My brother used to have balls too...


LK

[zenbooty]

Originally posted by LegendKiller

Well, according to the sister-in-law this guy is going to get the children if something happened to she and my brother. Which is completely rediculous

1. The guy has no values.
2. The family could give 2 flying F's about education.
3. He already has problems with his family and probably wouldn't make time for me or my family to see them.

Its just an all-around bad situation where the sis in law is yanking my brother by the chain and telling him what to do. My brother used to have balls too...


LK I guess what I'm saying is that there can be more to the children's care here than just who gets them. Yes, this ****up may wind up with the kids, but is that the end of it? A strong caring family can keep everyone in the fold. A strong family won't settle for just "having time made for them." A strong family will find a way to make sure the children are cared for depsite what an individual parent may feel about it. Know what I'm saying?

[LegendKiller]

Originally posted by zenbooty
I guess what I'm saying is that there can be more to the children's care here than just who gets them. Yes, this ****up may wind up with the kids, but is that the end of it? A strong caring family can keep everyone in the fold. A strong family won't settle for just "having time made for them." A strong family will find a way to make sure the children are cared for depsite what an individual parent may feel about it. Know what I'm saying?

My bro's kids are my kids whenever it needs be, I have already told him that. Hell, I am the one who already started a education fund and has stuck money in it. Despite me not being a godparent in symbol, I will treat Emma as if I were.

LK

[oblongmelon]

You're a good man L.K. and a great uncle for feeling so strongly on the issue..when it comes down to being godparents-the whole concept was for spiritual guidance of the child..now HOW many parents are going to let you interfere with the way they bring their kids up religiously..although be it a good idea-it hardly ever works out that way..I have a brother who chose godparents for each of his kids by who would buy them the best gifts for christmas and religious events. How pathetic is that?