being misunderstood

[redcolours]

i dont know what to say...

in everything i do, ive put my intentions up front - i am a very straight-up person, and always tells the truth about what i intend to do. i hate lies, so i dont do them. i dont ask people of that - they can do whatever they want. but for me, if i say something, thats what it is. nothing more behind it. nothing more beyond it.

if i do something, its because of a reason, and yes, if you ask me, i will tell you that reason upfront. no ulterior motives, no hidden agenda. if you ask me, i will tell you. the truth. no half-truths, no lies. i may have my personal reasons, but theyre benign and pure, and i will be upfront about it, and will not hide it. all you need to do is ask.

but in the end, what i do is still under suspicion. even after ive made my plans clear and crystal, with the best intentions, my word is still not good enough. what i say is still being read between the lines.

i only want people to be happy, or simply make them smile. is that so bad? im just nice by nature - i love to do nice things, with nothing expected in return. NOTHING. why does everything have to have a motive other than what it simply is? apparently nothing i do is right....

so i dont know what to say or do now. probably nothing, cuz anything i say or do now will be a validation of the suspicion - either way, apparently i am just not believed. its not like i cried wolf, or made a precedent, or acted in accordance to such a suspicion before. ive never given just cause for suspicion. if i did, i was misunderstood. yet again.

i guess i owe the world an apology for simply being friendly and caring.

[nickel]

you need to be more specific.
who? what? why? when? where?


and maybe you are being too nice? :shrug:

[ufcrusher]

In my world, when people say they are being 100% honest, you look at them with more suspicion. Your actions need to show these things not your mouth.

Your post isnt specific, but here is my speculation....tell me if I am right:

I am gathering that it possibly involves a girl that youare friends with and you offering to do things for her. You were probably told her that you wanted to be more than friends, but she said that she didnt like you that way, but since you really enjoy being around her (as a friend) you kept up your friendship. If thats the case, EVERYTHING, you do is going to seem like there is a possibility that you have ulterior motives. Can you blame someone in that situation.

Either way, give us more info so we can actually aid you if you want.

[kei2]

Thinking the same thing as ufcrusher, except in my mental picture there's been no statement of intent to take things beyond friendship.

[eSDee]

Being 100% honest is a good foundation. Now try and add some tact and sense of humor and you got one hell of a human being ;) Don't stray from who you are though.

[Airencracken]

I don't understand what you're trying to say. :D

[brainsmile]

I'd say cut and run man... go find yourself a real good woman like mojo

[Paymaster]

i hate lies, so i dont do them.

I don't lie, but that's just because I'm really, really bad at it!

[redcolours]

all specifics were erased to protect the parties involved.

it was unfair of me to dwell on specifics when the other party was not present or unconsulted, and i recognize the impropriety of my post. this has now been taken off boards.

my sincerest apologies.

[oblongmelon]

I'd say cut and run man... go find yourself a real good woman like mojo
man..don't you guys ever get tired of the mojo jokes? :2far:

[Ladogaboy]

If she's just a friend, nothing more, and you have no expectations for the two of you, you really shouldn't be this concerned about it. If you are, that is one sign that maybe your feelings/expectations for her are too high. I would avoid pushing it, because if you really do just want to be her friend, it's best to just let things rest for a while. She's made it this far in her life without you... she doesn't NEED you--unless she tells you she does--so why not give her some space?

[redcolours]

all specifics were erased to protect the parties involved.

it was unfair of me to dwell on specifics when the other party was not present or unconsulted, and i recognize the impropriety of my post. this has now been taken off boards.

my sincerest apologies.

[brainsmile]

man..don't you guys ever get tired of the mojo jokes? :2far:do you ever get tired of Mel Gibson fantasies? :D

[oblongmelon]

do you ever get tired of Mel Gibson fantasies? :D


well only the one that involved green jello, 8 tooth picks and a midget.

[ufcrusher]

well only the one that involved green jello, 8 tooth picks and a midget.

Well of course, the toothpicks get in the way. Everyone knows the you prefer silk scarfs.


Back on to the thread though:

Redcolours.....I dont really know what to say other than if shes a true friend, she'll come around again. I think what Lagoda was trying to point out was in many peoples eyes getting this upset is generally reserved for love interests or potential love interests. Your statement about your intentions is clear but is contrary to what is perceived as normal.

From the information that you provided, I would hazard to guess that she has had unwanted advances in the past. Hence, even in the light of an affirmative statement of your intentions it triggers a reaction from the previous experience. Give her some time and space, to just breathe and she will probably come around.

Just hang in there.

[brainsmile]

all I know is you seem to be a bit preoccupied by this. Maybe it's time to just cut and run

[mojo]

all you can do is be yourself and know how you are and what your motives may be. if you're second-guessed, maybe the recipient just had past experiences that affect how you're perceived now. it can be frustrating, but you have to do what's right...as long as you're not stepping on any toes.


I'd say cut and run man... go find yourself a real good woman like mojooh, i found a real good woman, alright :D

[Emqtee]

I have read your website and this thread as you asked. All I have to say that this has gotten way out of hand.

Like you I do have a view on the whole situation. It also differs in many areas. Unlike you however, I do not feel like it is appropriate to get everyone in the forum involved. But hey if it helps you sort through your feelings than go right ahead.

So in reply to everything please check your PM.

[zenbooty]

Uh-oh, I smell a stalker situation brewing here.

Get me my rifle, dear, we may have to put this one down... :D

[brainsmile]

got|stalker? :)

[redcolours]

to everyone:
i apologize for editing my posts.
i dont believe in censoring what i have said, but there is also the matter of privacy and respect.

I admit to making the mistake of going into details, as the other person involved was not present at the time of the writings to express the other side of the situation. Nor do they want to do so in a public environment. For that i retract my statements. The matter has since been taken off boards, and is currently being discussed and resolved privately.

To all who have cared enough to express their opinions and insights on the matter, thank you.
i appreciate your inputs on it, but i made a bad judgment to air it out in public. My doing so was an impulsive response to what i could not comprehend, like hitting a panic button. This is no excuse, and it was irresponsible of me to do so, as i could have resolved the issue privately. I recognize that now, and i am making reparations, however big the consequences are. i will face them, as any adult should. Whatever happens, happens.
All thats left to do here now is to move on. And thats what ill do. im asking everyone to do so as well.

again, my sincerest apologies to all.

[Nija]

As long as none of this affects my sex life, I'm happy

[Ladogaboy]

Don't worry, Nija, I'm still cuming over.

[brainsmile]

personally I'm offended :P