Bad jokes.

[revil]

Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza strip, chatting over a glass of goat's milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through some pictures, and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. And here's my second son. He's a martyr, too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says, "They blow up so fast, don't they?"

[DarkFury]

:hmm:

[brainsmile]

:disa:

[hoey222]

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, in a fine Irish brogue, 'Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with' me and begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle... WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle.

We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying in a hospital bed. He's in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."

[molecularfire]

Hehehehehe Hoey. :heh: :heh: :heh:
Now that is funny.

[Sir_Froggy]

:heh: those were good

[DankNstickY]

hehe... i admit i chuckled at revils.

*chuckle chuckle*

[whitak24]

both of those were pretty funny. :heh:

[bachviet]

hoey, that's funny
:laugh:

[Nija]

both of those were pretty funny. :heh:

:stupid:

[kei2]

weird, i was out of town/away from the internet all weekend and heard revil's joke from somebody there.

[CrazyJ]

Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza strip, chatting over a glass of goat's milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through some pictures, and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. And here's my second son. He's a martyr, too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says, "They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Hahahahahahahah Funny-no, SAD, no Funny, sad and true.

[ShawnLee]

With credit to Al Lowe's cyberjoke3000.

It was a slow day at the Pearly Gates, so St. Peter decided to learn the cause of death of everyone seeking entry. Suddenly three men arrived in quick succession. St. Peter asked the first man, "How did you die?" The man replied, "Oh, it was awful. I was so certain my wife was having an affair that I came home from work early to catch her in the act. Sure enough, she was in bed in the middle of the afternoon, but all alone. I searched our apartment everywhere, but couldn't find him. Then I went out on our balcony and there was a man, hanging over the railing. I hit his hands until he fell, but some bushes broke his fall. So, I rolled our refrigerator outside and pushed it over the railing on top of him. All that exertion gave me a heart attack and I died." St. Peter shook his head. "Wow, that's quite a story." He turned to the second man. "How did you die?" "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing my exercises on the balcony of my apartment when I twisted my ankle and fell over the rail. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below ours, but then some maniac came out and pounded on my fingers until I fell. Luckily, I landed in some bushes. But then a refrigerator fell on me!" St. Peter chuckled, "That's a unique story, too." He then asked the third man, "How did you die?" "Okay, picture this: there I was, sitting naked inside a refrigerator...."

[revil]

As the President is getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he has a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for VP Cheney, and I got one for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.

The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, "Nice trade, sir."

[ShawnLee]

As the President is getting off the helicopter in front of the White House, he has a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, sir."

The President replies: "These are not pigs, these are authentic Texan Razorback Hogs. I got one for VP Cheney, and I got one for Defense Secretary Rumsfeld.

The Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and replies, "Nice trade, sir."Bad rehash to a classic Arkansas razorback joke with trades pertaining to Hilary and Chelsea. Boo. :P

[bachviet]

Bad rehash to a classic Arkansas razorback joke with trades pertaining to Hilary and Chelsea. Boo. :P
:stupid:

[Butch]

Bad rehash to a classic Arkansas razorback joke with trades pertaining to Hilary and Chelsea. Boo. :P

:shrug: . . . I got a good chuckle out of it . . . hadn't heard it before

[eSDee]

What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhino?

Elephino!

[cheapie]

What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhino?

Elephino!


what about a cross between a bulldog and a ****zu (sp?)

[ShawnLee]

what about a cross between a bulldog and a ****zu (sp?)You mean the kudzu plant? :P

[Burzhui]

lol... good one revil :)

[gwilks98]

A baby seal walks into a club...
:hmm:

[donnar]

Two Arab men come to America
They make a bet on who came become more American and plan to meet up in 5 years
5 years: they meet the frist one says : I have a wife blond hair blue eyed boy and a house in the suburs
the second man says wow that great you fu*cking towel head

[nickel]

what about a cross between a bulldog and a ****zu (sp?)
was that Harry or Lloyd who spit out that one? :P


Two Arab men come to America
They make a bet on who came become more American and plan to meet up in 5 years
5 years: they meet the frist one says : I have a wife blond hair blue eyed boy and a house in the suburs
the second man says wow that great you fu*cking towel head
OMGWTFBBQ! thank you donnar :thumbup:

[ShawnLee]

Two Arab men come to America
They make a bet on who came become more American and plan to meet up in 5 years
5 years: they meet the frist one says : I have a wife blond hair blue eyed boy and a house in the suburs
the second man says wow that great you fu*cking towel head
OBG. I've also heard this with Koreans, amended with gook sans towel head.

[Showtime]

Me likey the Hoey joke the best so far. Never would have thought....

-jel:halo: