Are you lonely?

[cheapie]

Are you lonely?

I have a lot of aquaintances, a lot of people i am comfortable with, people that are generally happy to see me and that i eat dinner with occasionally. I have two friends that I could call anytime and hang out with. Unfortunately, one lives in Denver and one in Fort Wayne, IN.

There is only one guy in town that I would consider a good friend. My neighbor.

My wife has a lot of friends that she hangs out with. Two or three times a week she hangs out with them.

I on the other hand, don't. Sigh...I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I sure do get melancholy sometimes.

Maybe I just need to realize that I'm 30 and am not going to find guys that want to go out and play all night. Most of the guys I know are good family guys and not likely to do that. :shrug:

Anyhow, am I the only one?

[ialsohaveadream]

I'd hang out with you, Cheap....but it'd be a long drive. And friends living far away is a fact of life after school. My best friend lives on the opposite end of the country from me.

Don't you have any exciting neighbors?

[cheapie]

I live in a quiet family neighborhood. I hang out with my neighbor frequently, and I'm happy to have him as a friend, but I'm still sitting here with my thumb up my a$$ on a Saturday night.

[ialsohaveadream]

Sounds to me like you're having a blast! :)

I'm in partly the same boat, only because most of my good friends here are female, and it's just not right to constantly hang out with female friends when you've got a woman at home. It just doesn't send the right signals.

[Memo]

Well I'm still in college and not in the whole married life scene but I do understand what you're talking about.

My best friends don't live in the same town as me. I have 2 I'd really say are my good good friends. They both live in College Station but don't REALLY live there. They just goto school there. One goes to North Carolina every vacation/break because his fiancee and family live there and the other one is currently interning at Motorola in Fort Worth.

I'm even worse off than you here in Austin. I have 0 guy friends. I hang out with girls...all girls...always. They're not even really my friends. They're my girlfriends friends. We always end up seeing girly movies or going out to eat. That's fun and all but I have no one to play a video game with or a sport.

I'm not a guy that usually enjoys all night partying but I think every guy needs that every once in a while. Currently, if I ever want that I have to go drive out of town to visit my friends.

I wouldn't say you have to accept it and move on. I would say if there are guys like you and I on just this board then there are many others. It just seems like when you get older it's harder and harder to make close friends because it seems people already have those positions filled. Perhaps you should insitigate the partying with other guys. Even if it's not something you'd usually do (I know it's not something I'd do), if you want it really bad you can try.

Also man, I dunno, it seems to me like you're always down about your wife. Some of the best times I have is with my girl because I can do "guy" stuff with her because she knows it's something I wanna do. Perhaps you and your wife can go out and have the fun you want too.

[ialsohaveadream]

We always end up seeing girly movies or going out to eat. That's fun and all but I have no one to play a video game with or a sport.


:heh: Good point. Another reason I don't always hang out with girls. They dont' seem to enjoy going out to play a game of catch in the park. :(


I'm not a guy that usually enjoys all night partying but I think every guy needs that every once in a while.

:stupid: Also, there are establishments that just aren't as fun to attend with a group of females.

[cheapie]

Also man, I dunno, it seems to me like you're always down about your wife. Some of the best times I have is with my girl because I can do "guy" stuff with her because she knows it's something I wanna do. Perhaps you and your wife can go out and have the fun you want too.


oh no. i love her and have a ton of fun with her. we hung out all day and had a blast. she had a fever and went to be early. and i have been watching the supranos all night wishing i had a buddy to call and have come over for a beer or something.

[look_ma]

If you have work and a family, I imagine it being kinda hard to establish excellent friends. I met one of my really good friends from work. Ususally I try not to socialize with co-workers, mainly because they just add to the rumor mill.

[nickel]

but I'm still sitting here with my thumb up my a$$ on a Saturday night.
/got pics? :D

[Kim]

Yep, I'm lonely.

[cheapie]

/got pics? :D


:boxing: you're ruining my pout session.

[oblongmelon]

you people who are lonely need to get hobbies-seriously..
do something that occupies your time. If you have kids-do something for them, learn to build things, paint things, sew things..WRITE things..so that in 100 years, someone is going to say my great great grandpa/grandma made this for me...

[ialsohaveadream]

Thanks, Dr. Phil.....but sometimes you enjoy doing hobbies with friends.

[redcolours]

am lonely? i can say i was, and probably still a bit, but im aware of what i need to do, hence im actually happy now.

i grew up surrounded by a lot of close friends the first 20 years of my life, then in one big move, i had none. the next 7 years were empty, a total drought of friendship. i had 2 jobs to support myself, and that left me NO TIME to mingle and walk in social circles. it doesnt help to have NO people my age, or simply people of the same interests as i am where i worked at. 2 jobs also meant no time to find a hobby.

then i woke up five years after my one big move, and started wondering about my life, why i had none. i was financially ok now, back to square one so to speak. but something was missing, and i figured it out - i missed my friends. THAT WAS WHAT'S missing. i had none to speak of, and having no way to make any, at that point i lost it. i went into deep depression where i almost killed myself (twice).

well, i survived my pathetic attempts at attention. i decided to move again, maybe the change will do me good. nope - didnt help. i spent the next 2 years in limbo. it was the same. finally i resolved to completely change my outlook. actually i just thought real hard and found i havent been the way i was when i was first growing up. working 2-3 jobs in 7 years can make you grow cold and hard and bitter. i needed to be who i was before that, and now things seem brighter. 18 months ago, i changed jobs, and last year i cut it down to just one. now im actually happy where i am (and earning more money too).
whats great is that by changing jobs, or even venturing out in different social circles, ive found people that actually share my interests, or at least found people cool and fun to hang out with. its not as frequent as when i had them when i was growing up, but these days, i count myself fortunate to be having them at all. ive realized that ive actually grown up, and its not going to be the same anymore, but it doesnt mean i cant have friends anymore and have fun either.
some nights its a drag, when im itchin to go out, and no one about to go with me. sometimes i go anyway, just for the hell of it. some days i stay in. but now i got more options than just simply staying in.

thats when obby's suggestion comes in handy - i find myself writing short stories again, playing my guitar more often, or simply building a PC project to frankenstein with. something to distract my attention, and make some use of my idle time.

i wish i can have more friends, or maybe just even a few (1 or 2) to hang out most days or nights, but my reality is that there is none at the moment. what makes me NOT lonely is that i know if i stay calm and be patient like i did in teh recent past, something/someone will turn up. i dunno what it is, but somehow i can actually count on that these days... :)

[whitak24]

I live in a quiet family neighborhood. I hang out with my neighbor frequently, and I'm happy to have him as a friend, but I'm still sitting here with my thumb up my a$$ on a Saturday night.
trying to find the male g-spot? :P

but yeah.....sometimes i kinda feel the lonliness, mostly because my GF isn't here...i think. i have a lot of friends but they are most girl friends and they're fun and we have a good time but none of them live very close to me (well, one of them does, i guess). anyway, i was walking through campus today and saw some guys playing catch and i'm just like damn....i wish i had someone to play catch with. but instead i had to go to work. ok, so maybe i was bummed out because i had to work.

but eh...i don't know what my point was.

[brainsmile]

maybe Nija can come visit you guys one at a time

[DarkFury]

Not anymore... DFJ always has my back. :D

[revil]

Since I moved home from college, I've been pretty lonely. I don't know many people still around here. The one person I know from college around here is usually doing something else or doesn't want to do anything. I woulnd't call her a friend though, more like her tech support psuedo friend.

[cheapie]

ahhh....good. i would seem i'm not the only one. thanks guys! :thumbup:

[attgig]

hey... we were talking then! am I nothing to you? :cry:

[ray]

I figure if I ever get lonely, I just hop online and find an apexer to bother till i'm not lonely anymore. haha

[cheapie]

hey... we were talking then! am I nothing to you? :cry:


not at midnight. didn't you sign on later than that?

[baggio248]

I don't know that i'm necessarily lonely. I always have my girlfriend, but sometimes I do wish I had male friends down here. Since I moved 4 months ago I haven't really made my own friends. I mean I have the guy at work, but he is leaving in 2 weeks for med school, but we don't really hang out outside of work. I have a few aquaintances that I met from playing soccer, but no close male friends. Hopefully soon that will change. I feel like i'm married w/ no friends. Oh well, it's not bad...

[febstars19]

yup..I just moved home from college...actually, college was not that far away, but I came back finding out that most of my closest friends relocated to other cities for jobs. I still have family and friends here but once in a while, I still feel blah...maybe I just miss the particular people who are not close by anymore. So to some extent, I feel the same way, cheapie! As the replies to this post shows, you're not alone. :) This sounds a little cheesy, but maybe you can join sports organizations, golfing tourney's or whatever hobbies you like. You will get to meet people and do something you like. When I start work, I am thinking about joining a beach volleyball team through work or tennis org to just play. Maybe I will actually get better at those sports! You will also feel kind of productive and maybe you can bring your wife with you and get her into something you enjoy. Or reading, volunteer work or getting a motorcycle license....hehe..I can go on forever!

hey...and side note, good handful of girls including all your significant others may love playing sports (or catch in the park for example), video games, and talking about techy stuff or cars! Just try asking them!!

And there's always gotapex...:)

[cheapie]

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Living alone
I think to all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody is home

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
I want to leave
All by myself I want to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
Love so distant and obscure
Remains occured

All by myself
Don't wanna be
All by myself
I want to leave
All by myself




crap. i'm in mexico and all my co-workers went to a local strip club. i didn't go and now i'm sitting in the hotel room, all by myself. :bawl:

[ialsohaveadream]

You should've quoted the Green Day song "All by myself" instead. Way funnier and more appropriate.

[blueindian]

i don't really get lonely. i'm fortunate to be surrounded by a few "good" friends and lots of "other" friends. in fact i have the opposite problem sometimes: they won't go away! there's always something to do that's fun and i (and my wife) find ourselves getting pulled into things which are fun at the time but then we look back over the last month and realize that we've not spent any QT together. we try to make a conscious effort not to go out and do things just becasue they are going on now. it's a product of our environment really, we live in a college town surrounded by single grad students.

and before i moved here i lived in a college town surrounded by single folks as well.

but i feel your pain chepie, i'd come round for a beer or two. you got a ps2? i'll whip your arse at any game you choose.

[molecularfire]

Hmmm... Definitely one of my favorite Celine Dion songs. I'm used to being alone, heck most of the time I prefer it. For me, I have no problem being alone by myself. Not too fond of being alone in a group though.

[nickel]

crap. i'm in mexico and all my co-workers went to a local strip club. i didn't go and now i'm sitting in the hotel room, all by myself. :bawl:
good boy :D

[cheapie]

heh. it really helps that my co-worker that went told me how much better the clubs here are than in the states. women are more beautiful. lots more contact. etc.

[attgig]

good man. tell your wife what you did, and ask her to make it up to you ;)

[cheapie]

yeah. i'm sure i'll get some lovin'. cept dang! we're going camping with some friends this weekend. the tent doesn't block much sound.

crap. anyhow, i was talking to her last night and mentioned that they went to the club and she asked if i wanted to go. i said of course but i had decided not to. she got kind of hurt or whatever and didn't understand why i would want to. how in the world do you explain that i will never (hopefully) lose the desire to see naked women. it's just part of being a man. :shrug:

[falcon619]

I have to many friends. They always want to do something. I get no rest. I envy you and wish I were lonely.

[molecularfire]

yeah. i'm sure i'll get some lovin'. cept dang! we're going camping with some friends this weekend. the tent doesn't block much sound.

Confident in yourself aren't you. :)

[ialsohaveadream]

crap. anyhow, i was talking to her last night and mentioned that they went to the club and she asked if i wanted to go. i said of course but i had decided not to. she got kind of hurt or whatever and didn't understand why i would want to. how in the world do you explain that i will never (hopefully) lose the desire to see naked women. it's just part of being a man. :shrug:

Ain't that a :censored:? You tried to explain to her how you did something she'd approve of, then she gets upset because you wanted to do it, even if you didn't go through. Women...they just won't let you win.

With some women, you'll never be able to explain the desire to "read the menu, but not order anything". They just don't want to hear it. :shrug:

[blueindian]

i'm so glad my wife doesn't care about me going to a strip club.

cheapie has your wife ever been to one? i realized back when i was dating this other chick that most women have a real warped idea of what goes on in strip clubs. perhaps the two of you could go together sometime and she'd "get it"?

[nickel]

i'm so glad my wife doesn't care about me going to a strip club.

cheapie has your wife ever been to one? i realized back when i was dating this other chick that most women have a real warped idea of what goes on in strip clubs. perhaps the two of you could go together sometime and she'd "get it"?
that's an idea.

my rationale would be sure, he can go, but then when i go away on some bidness i might hit a club, too.