love...

[tupacboy]

how do you know if your in love? how do you know if that person is the one worth waiting for? and how long should you wait before you let go?

[InfiniteNothing]

Take it to the softer side Gangsta.


But very good questions.
Basically you have to agree and you have to be comitted
Do you agree on: Money, Politics, Religeon, Family culture (How many kids, paper napkins at the dinner table?, etc)
Comitment: Is breaking up not an option except in the case of abuse.

The rest is keeping the love alive which is hard but doable if you know how.

[oogeooge]

if you and your girl are at a bar and u see another attractive lady there. do you stare at the other lady? if not, then u know u're in love :bandit:

[mojo]

if you always think of that person...if you feel good thinking about that person...

...and in my case, if you move to philly from san diego to be near that person :P

[zenbooty]

Its love when you're weiner and your brain finally agree on something.

[InfiniteNothing]

I suppose we should ask if you are asking because you are starting to have doubts or if you are starting to take the plunge. If it's the latter, then I have a thread about that from about a year ago. I'll dig it up in a minute.


if you and your girl are at a bar and u see another attractive lady there. do you stare at the other lady? if not, then u know u're in love :bandit:Would you really stare at her anyways?


Its love when you're weiner and your brain finally agree on something.Heh. I love Bootyisms

[Yossarian]

...and in my case, if you move to philly from san diego to be near that person :P


i didn't know you and hoey were so close

[usedillusion]

Originally Posted by mojo
...and in my case, if you move to philly from san diego to be near that person
That's not love, that's stupid ;)

[oblongmelon]

Love is not minding when someone throws up on your shoes..Love is getting "shivers" when your with the other person..Love is envisioning the person you are with in 30 years surrounded by kids, grandchildren, and not seeing that they have aged/have wrinkles/a belly/.. Love is knowing that when that person is gone-your heart will break.

[mojo]

That's not love, that's stupid ;)you said i was stupid before, but i didn't think those events were related


Love is not minding when someone throws up on your shoes..Love is getting "shivers" when your with the other person..Love is envisioning the person you are with in 30 years surrounded by kids, grandchildren, and not seeing that they have aged/have wrinkles/a belly/.. Love is knowing that when that person is gone-your heart will break.
so true :neartears

[DarkFury]

Wow... the softer side meets OT. :D


Well love is a strange beast... nothing else can make you feel that good and that bad at the same time. :2far:

What's love got to do with it... got to do with it... :D

[nimj2323ck]

What's love got to do with it... got to do with it... :D
What's love, but a second-hand emoootion?


:)

[redcolours]

dang...thread is still in OT... this is record time!

[sizemic1]

Love is dynamic. It ebbs and flows. The hard part is realizing this and being able to work through the ebbs when things aren't flowing.

[Burzhui]

if you and your girl are at a bar and u see another attractive lady there. do you stare at the other lady? if not, then u know u're in love :bandit:


that's not true.
It's human nature to look


If you are in love then you don't ask that question you just know.
As for waiting depends what you're waiting for you mean for her to put out? If yes then depends if she is a virgin or not.
If not then a week tops, after that it's Fcuk you and have a nice day


Love is envisioning the person you are with in 30 years surrounded by kids, grandchildren, and not seeing that they have aged/have wrinkles/a belly/..


hmmmmm :disa:


Love = complete and utter denial!

[Maarchk]

With love, its not how the other person makes you feel. Its how you feel about yourself when you are with that person.

[InfiniteNothing]

As for waiting depends what you're waiting for you mean for her to put out? If yes then depends if she is a virgin or not.
If not then a week tops, after that it's Fcuk you and have a nice day

That's a pretty common rule of thumb.

[welfareloser]

if you're asking, it's not love.

or, it could be that you're asking because you know it's love, but there's some sort of external pressure trying to convince you otherwise (your friends give you crap for not boning her yet... she lives far away... that pesky restraining order...)

i'd say: love is different for everyone. it's love if you say it is.

if you think about it too hard, you're going to come up with the wrong answer.

[InfiniteNothing]

Oh I found my thread: Are you ever 100% sure (http://http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65080&highlight=100%25)

Not really what I remember it being. Still a little relevant.

[redcolours]

if you're asking, it's not love.

or, it could be that you're asking because you know it's love, but there's some sort of external pressure trying to convince you otherwise (your friends give you crap for not boning her yet... she lives far away... that pesky restraining order...)

i'd say: love is different for everyone. it's love if you say it is.

if you think about it too hard, you're going to come up with the wrong answer. best damn thing ever said in this thread.

whatever it is, youre supposed to feel it, not define it.
if you define it, it dies. you feel it now, but you no longer will feel it later on, because then you have your mind's memory to rely on based on that "definition" of what you felt, not your heart or your emotion, which should be doing the "feeling".
words and definitions are static, a representation of what IS. and that can be ANYTHING TO YOU. and it could be something else to someone else.
what you feel is DYNAMIC - it happens NOW, whatever it is.

my point is, go with what you feel, and dont listen to anyone HOW you should feel.
in fact, dont even listen to what im saying.
its really all up to you. and if you still have to ask, youre just just going about it wrong.

[InfiniteNothing]

best damn thing ever said in this thread.

whatever it is, youre supposed to feel it, not define it.
if you define it, it dies. you feel it now, but you no longer will feel it later on, because then you have your mind's memory to rely on based on that "definition" of what you felt, not your heart or your emotion, which should be doing the "feeling".
words and definitions are static, a representation of what IS. and that can be ANYTHING TO YOU. and it could be something else to someone else.
what you feel is DYNAMIC - it happens NOW, whatever it is.

my point is, go with what you feel, and dont listen to anyone HOW you should feel.
in fact, dont even listen to what im saying.
its really all up to you. and if you still have to ask, youre just just going about it wrong.I disagree. Emotions are not as transparent to some as they may be to you. Sometimes people don't know how they feel. Sometimes people will want something that's bad for them. Sometimes you have to lie to yourself about how you feel. Bottomline: He's torn yet he's trying to shove it into the love box or the don't love box and it's not always that black and white. Like sizemic said: love is dynamic. But that's okay sometimes you just have to force it in one of the boxes. It sure would be nice to get something from him.

[usedillusion]

Originally Posted by mojo
you said i was stupid before, but i didn't think those events were related
they're pretty related. love-produced spontaneity and irrationality is one thing, but even impulse should have limits. something as momentous as moving across the country should really be considered for a few minutes longer than say, going a few bucks out of budget for some kind of jewelry. the possible collateral damage of one is way more harmful than the other, so i wouldn't advise anyone ever to do that out of "love" unless I knew the circumstances.

conversely, i think irrationality can be the essence of distinguishing love from not love, like this guy is trying to do. it makes us go outside our normal 'comfort zone' and we do things we wouldn't do otherwise, or for anyone else. it's love when you take a step back and say, "since when would i have done THAT for someone? have been so selfless to not consider myself in the equation but just someone else's needs? god i'm a sap."

[redcolours]

geez, everyone is rationalizing something thats NOT OF THE MIND. :rolleyes:

of course this thing we call "love" will make us do IRRATIONAL things.
it will not make us do anything sensible at all.

it can make us take a 25hr bus trip from boston, mass to normal, illinois.
it can make us get up and move cross-country from san diego to philadelphia.
it can make us push the other person, instead of holding them closer.

strange, irrational behavior. something that doesnt make sense.

BECAUSE IT IS NOT OF THE MIND.

it's of your heart, or what you feel - its a feeling, an emotion. its NOT A THOUGHT. it GETS in your head, but its not OF or FROM your mind.
(at least not the part that is conscious, anyway. i dunno - maybe its some primal thought in the recesses of our minds, maybe its some genetic switch that turns on when that time comes that we have to procreate as a means of our species survival. i dunno - who knows?)

but its not something you decide consciously - "oh, im going to fall in love with you."
it just hits you. you get attracted to someone instantly, or you develop that attraction over time. either way, you tend to have feelings for the person without thinking about it, but you never think "im going to have feelings for him/her" before you even get that feeling. unless youre a robot issuing a command to yourself,or following a command (or listening to what others tell you). that means youre not alive at all. think for yourself, yes. but also FEEL FOR YOURSELF. but dont mistake one for the other.

anyways, i'll leave it at that. consider it, rip it to shreds, whatever. it really doesnt matter. as per my earlier take on it, this discussion defeats the purpose of feelings: to simply feel with your heart. write about how you feel, sure. but thinking about how you feel just deadens that feeling. rationalizing = for your mind. feeling = for your heart. confuse both, and you lose both.

in the immortal words of the goddess Nike: just do it!

[febstars19]

i really dunno anymore...so complicating this thing called love. Lately,I guess I realize that "part" of love is to just cherish all the moments you have w/ the person, fight for your chance to be with him, learn to let go when it's time, and just to wish the individual the happiest life wherever he/she may be. And hopefully, we'll meet again.


hehe...then again, what do I know...sigh..nothing...

[zenbooty]

Sometimes people will want something that's bad for them. :wavey2: I'd say most times


he's trying to shove it into the love box.Yeah I need to do some more of that, too :P.







Aaah, its good to be drunk. :cheers:

[DarkFury]

<Snoop Doggy Dogg>

We don't luv dem hos...

</Snoop Doggy Dogg>

Maybe some of us are "emotionally detached".... since you have to "feel" it. :shrug:

[welfareloser]

wha? somebody called mojo stupid for moving for love?

i'm sorry, even if it was love that sparked the idea, he spent a loooong time thinking about the move and all it's possible ramifications. even in the absence of the love interest, the move was a good idea, so you're going to have to find a different poster boy for "doing stupid stuff for stupid love."

and i've always thought you should never feel bad to risk everything (except lives and the feelings of kids) for love. love is what it's all about. even jesus said so, and that guy was smart.

and i say b-s to "some people don't know how they feel." you always know how you feel... if you want to pretend you don't know how you feel, it's because you don't think you SHOULD feel how you do and want to pretend you might feel the other way.

and as for "some people want stuff that's bad for them" ... you're trying to make it sound completely irrational, when it's simply not. it's usually a matter of choosing short-term gratification over long-term consequences. you know the bad boy will break your heart, but if feels so good to be with him now... etc. not irrational at all, simply short-sighted.

[molecularfire]

1) There's no such thing as love between a man and a woman. There's lust and the fear of being alone and that's pretty much it. The best that you can hope for is that you guys get so used to each other you don't realize the other person is there anymore.

2) Wait as long as you feel you want to. If you are currently in a relationship with someone then follow whatever agreement you guys have. If you are waiting around for them to notice you or get back together with you, etc... i.e. you guys aren't currently together, wait as long as you still feel you would rather be alone waiting for her than to be with someone else.

[caribiner23]

Welfareloser said it best in both of her postings. You'll know it's the real thing when you're in it.

If you are asking the question, it's because either (a) it's not the real thing; or (b) something is influencing you to think otherwise. Follow your heart.

Love will make you do things that others may think are irrational. So what? Do those people look at you in the mirror every morning, or do you?

Check the songs that hit you in the heart (http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76171) thread. If you're feeling a lot of that stuff, you're in the ballpark.

[InfiniteNothing]

1) There's no such thing as love between a man and a woman. There's lust and the fear of being alone and that's pretty much it. The best that you can hope for is that you guys get so used to each other you don't realize the other person is there anymore.


Sorry.


geez, everyone is rationalizing something thats NOT OF THE MIND. :rolleyes:

Love is different for everyone. Sometimes it is of the mind. It all depends on the person. Some people are the intuitive kind, some are the rationalizing kind.



Yeah I need to do some more of that, too :P.



I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that.

[DarkFury]

and i say b-s to "some people don't know how they feel." you always know how you feel... if you want to pretend you don't know how you feel, it's because you don't think you SHOULD feel how you do and want to pretend you might feel the other way.

Honestly, I have to disagree here.

Some emotions just don't manifest themselves the same way in everyone... so honestly, you might not "feel" it... and not know if what you are feeling is true love, or carnal lust...

But that's just because everyone has their own way of carrying their emotions... some on their sleeves, and others MUCH deeper to the point of seeming "non existance".

[InfiniteNothing]

1) There's no such thing as love between a man and a woman. There's lust and the fear of being alone and that's pretty much it. The best that you can hope for is that you guys get so used to each other you don't realize the other person is there anymore.

2) Wait as long as you feel you want to. If you are currently in a relationship with someone then follow whatever agreement you guys have. If you are waiting around for them to notice you or get back together with you, etc... i.e. you guys aren't currently together, wait as long as you still feel you would rather be alone waiting for her than to be with someone else.You know I was thinking about this. And the two statements are related. Any relationship help book will tell you that guys need to have sex in order to truly love (note: this is after sex, when the lust is gone) and girls need love to have sex. The reason you believe there is only lust and no love is because you haven't learned how sex takes away the lust and brings the love. It's hard to describe why this is. The best I can do is sex is so intimate that it just opens you up

[welfareloser]

Honestly, I have to disagree here.

Some emotions just don't manifest themselves the same way in everyone... so honestly, you might not "feel" it... and not know if what you are feeling is true love, or carnal lust...

But that's just because everyone has their own way of carrying their emotions... some on their sleeves, and others MUCH deeper to the point of seeming "non existance".

i'm gonna have to disagree back. you know what you feel. always. period. barring mental illness and handicap, you KNOW how you feel.

now, you may not know exactly how to define it (generally for the benefit of explaining it to others), for example: is it love, lust or both? you know what you want and how badly you want it and what reservations you might have. you may not know how to explain it to others, you may not know what decisions to make based on those feelings (ie, stay or go, dump or propose, restraining order or uzi) but i still say you know how you feel.

[InfiniteNothing]

I think it's funny how much we can speculate about this guy's situation without hearing from him.

[welfareloser]

dude, this has gone waaaaay beyond his situation... this is now a full-blown philisophical discourse. discourse, i tell you! i'm gonna go get my pipe and a tweed jacket right now...

and, before someone else can say it... :bandit: ;)

[zenbooty]

dude, this has gone waaaaay beyond his situation... this is now a full-blown philisophical discourse. discourse, i tell you! i'm gonna go get my pipe and a tweed jacket right now...

and, before someone else can say it... :bandit: ;)Don't bogart that pipe, man.

:bandit:

[molecularfire]

You know I was thinking about this. And the two statements are related. Any relationship help book will tell you that guys need to have sex in order to truly love (note: this is after sex, when the lust is gone) and girls need love to have sex. The reason you believe there is only lust and no love is because you haven't learned how sex takes away the lust and brings the love. It's hard to describe why this is. The best I can do is sex is so intimate that it just opens you up
Yeah, I have read some of those books when I was interested in the topic and to be honest I just didn't buy it (the argument, not the books... although I guess I didn't buy those either...). IMO, those books just told people what they want to hear to justify their actions/feelings. I guess the main problem that I have with the term love is that it isn't used to describe a feeling so much as it is to excuse an action. Never made much sense to me.

[redcolours]

Don't bogart that pipe, man.

:bandit:
paaaaaaass de dootchie on dee lef' hand side

:bandit:

also, can someone please say the 4letter N word now to end and kill the thread already?
:D

[DarkFury]

i'm gonna have to disagree back. you know what you feel. always. period. barring mental illness and handicap, you KNOW how you feel.

now, you may not know exactly how to define it (generally for the benefit of explaining it to others), for example: is it love, lust or both? you know what you want and how badly you want it and what reservations you might have. you may not know how to explain it to others, you may not know what decisions to make based on those feelings (ie, stay or go, dump or propose, restraining order or uzi) but i still say you know how you feel.
I guess we'll just have to agree to DISAGREE then. :D

Love and lust become "get the fugg away from me" once your welcome has been worn out. :D :hihi:

[sbp]

that's not true.
It's human nature to look

If you are in love then you don't ask that question you just know.
As for waiting depends what you're waiting for you mean for her to put out? If yes then depends if she is a virgin or not.
If not then a week tops, after that it's Fcuk you and have a nice day

hmmmmm :disa:

Love = complete and utter denial!Wonder what Lolita thinks about the Russian studmuffin in velour pants view of "if she doesn't put out after a week or so, you say fcuk you and have a nice day".

[Lolita]

Wonder what Lolita thinks about the Russian studmuffin in velour pants view of "if she doesn't put out after a week or so, you say fcuk you and have a nice day".

well I know his thoughts on this subject so it's no news to me...it's easier to just nod and smile ;)


but yea, he's quite a romantic with all his love talk :disa:

[InfiniteNothing]

..it's easier to just nod and smile ;)



Is he that bad



I keeed I keeed :D