Need input -I'm not a good judge...

[oblongmelon]

i hate friends who drive me nuts

[Kim]

Sounds fishy to me, but I'm not a good judge of people either.

[oblongmelon]

was this thread moved???...hmmm anyway..I'm not a good judge either for something like this-I would love for her to find someone who is REAL and not a jackass-but I don't think it's going to happen ONLINE..how does one go from being suspicious(me) to finding out the truth about someone on here??? I've exhausted my sources...all i know is-i keep hearing about how "nice" this guy is..and I"m here thinking-yeh he's a nice feckin jackass who is married and is playing you bigtime.."

[brainsmile]

go to Memo

[oblongmelon]

you know what BS..that's getting REAL OLD..ok so it was funny the first time-don't you think you should GROW UP A BIT. I'm putting you on ignore till further notice.

[Merlin]

Obby, you seem to have this thing against people online. Is meeting someone that way any worse than getting picked up at a bar? Yes, people do lie on line at times but is probably in with what happens off line. It is nice that you want to protect your friend but maybe a little more optimism is in line here. That does not mean not to be skeptical but think of the glass as half full rather than as a potential mess on you kitchen floor.

[oblongmelon]

oye and I shouldnt why? i have to listen to my friend's moodiness.

[mrs. paymaster]

O-melon, I don't think you have something against people online. I think you have a problem when someone's story doesn't quite add up. And I would agree with you. A guy who is only available part time makes me think twice - WHY is he not available any other time? Could it be because he is in another relationship?! It's too late for you to ask him any questions - he knows that you know her, so he's not going to tell you anything. I don't know how to advise ... personally, I would not get too attached, but your freind has to make her own decision. You're not her personal spy - I would just warn her and let her come to her own conclusions.

[gear02]

I don't think you're being too cautious. You're doing a good job being suspicious and stuff, seriously. Most people online are shady in some sort of way.

With that said, I don't really know what you should do. I guess telling her exactly what you've learned won't do much because her emotions have taken over. Maybe confront the dude with your suspicions while she's there in the same chat room. Maybe that'll help?

[oblongmelon]

WEll thank you for agreeing that i'm not being too suspicious..my friend asked me to talk to him because she was getting the same feelings about this guy that I now am..(all the "how comes"..)..I wish there was some way to prove he is he says he is because he presents himself as a very nice guy-unfortunately there is no way in knowing this...it's too bad-she really is a nice lady and deserves to find someone to make her happy.

[nickel]

my mother is doing the same thing - playing the internet dating game and why?
because there just aren't any men she has met in our area that she cares to date.
she has dated about 4 men who were within 2 hrs of her, but still she met them on the net, in the past year or so. 3 of the guys were totally upfront and cool, but one of them was a total lying, using assh*le.
i do agree that the odds of that happening in real life are about the same as online.
so don't think your friend can't meet a good guy online. she just needs to take her blinders off and ask tough questions and get satisfying answers.

[billxp]

Like they say if it walks like a duck quacks like a duck looks like a duck then it must be a duck.

After a certain period you can't get a home phone number then I'd just move on. Not that I'm experienced in this or anything LOL. Married here.


I'm hoping for her sake he's an ok guy-this time she told the truth to him and he didn't run off screaming... I have to ask whats up there?

[Jihforce]

i don't understand why she doesn't learn from her own experiences...this one should be a no brainer.

[gear02]

my mother is doing the same thing - playing the internet dating game and why?
because there just aren't any men she has met in our area that she cares to date.
she has dated about 4 men who were within 2 hrs of her, but still she met them on the net, in the past year or so. 3 of the guys were totally upfront and cool, but one of them was a total lying, using assh*le.
i do agree that the odds of that happening in real life are about the same as online.
so don't think your friend can't meet a good guy online. she just needs to take her blinders off and ask tough questions and get satisfying answers.

i think the odds of meeting a good guy (or girl) online is less than that offline, and I think it's more dangerous, especially for women. Anonimity is a great thing to a lying sack of crap, as you already know.

I'm not saying it's not possible, but I'm saying take it like you do any piece of spam, with great skepticism. Besides, if he's too good to be true, then he probably is.

btw this is all coming from a guy who's never been on a date, so :shrug: :D

[nimj2323ck]

Like they say if it walks like a duck quacks like a duck looks like a duck then it must be a duck.

After a certain period you can't get a home phone number then I'd just move on. Not that I'm experienced in this or anything LOL. Married here.

I have to ask whats up there?
The previous chapter in the online dating fiasco: Link (http://www.gotapex.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76983&highlight=online+chat)

[Jenny]

heh Scott & I met online :) Our 8 year anniversary is on the 17th of this month.

But yeah, he sounds extremely fishy. For me & Scott, we each had the other's phone number within a couple of weeks and talked all hours of the day and night on the computer & phone. :)

[johnnymk]

When things don't add up, trust your instincts. They are usually correct.

[cheapie]

he might not trust her. if i was him, i wouldn't give out my number if i felt the other person was too snoopy. :shrug:


but it does smell a tiny bit fishy.

[brain]

Design Solutions
400 West 11th Street Suite D
Panama City, FL 32401
850-763-4421

Design Solutions
2301 N*w 33rd Ct
Pompano Beach, FL 33069
954-968-7818

[oblongmelon]

Design Solutions
400 West 11th Street Suite D
Panama City, FL 32401
850-763-4421

Design Solutions
2301 N*w 33rd Ct
Pompano Beach, FL 33069
954-968-7818Thanks-but he said that Design Solutions is in Loxley Alabama-..see? can't trust anyone..do you live in Florida? and Can you find out if there is a CAMTECH industries there? or KAMTECH INDUSTRIES? (and what exactly is that design solutions for-he claims its for "work on offshore platforms" whatever the hell that means....we checked it out on a phone call to the national phone directory 1-555-1212 and they gave NO LISTINGS FOR EITEHR COMPANY in alabama OR florida..i'm curious as to how you found this number..(and thank you again)

[brainsmile]

sigh some people just have too much time on their hands

[usedillusion]

http://www.forbes.com/businesswire/feeds/businesswire/2004/08/12/businesswire20040812005232r1.html

Added Greg Williams, founder of Kamtech, "We are thrilled to be joining Kintera, the proven technology leader in the nonprofit space.
appears that at least kamtech exists. here's hoping, nono, praying and rubbing a rabbit's foot and lighting a candle in the middle of a horseshoe, that his name is Greg.

oh wait, won't let me direct link this so click his name here (http://www.forbes.com/peopletracker/results.jhtml?startRow=1&name=williams&ticker=amis)
yeah, or um, knows a greg? :dead:

edit: I just noticed she said he works on "offshore platforms," which would make a morsel of sense at http://kamtechconstruction.com/Default.htm. It's based in GA, which is reasonably close to FL. Of course, all this isn't really exempt from being a complete lie; anyone can name a company and say they own it. but if he was remotely smart, the lies would add up at least for a while. i'd just chip away at his claims via research, if it's really important to her. if they begin to disintegrate, so will her interest, we can hope.

[cheapie]

if it's really important to her, she can just say, hi! i like you and want to make sure you're legit. prolly a lot easier than sherlocking it.

[oblongmelon]

if it's really important to her, she can just say, hi! i like you and want to make sure you're legit. prolly a lot easier than sherlocking it.
she did..lol
that's when he gave her all this information..but the way he presented it was just too..well suspicious..


http://www.forbes.com/businesswire/feeds/businesswire/2004/08/12/businesswire20040812005232r1.html

appears that at least kamtech exists. here's hoping, nono, praying and rubbing a rabbit's foot and lighting a candle in the middle of a horseshoe, that his name is Greg.

oh wait, won't let me direct link this so click his name here (http://www.forbes.com/peopletracker/results.jhtml?startRow=1&name=williams&ticker=amis)
yeah, or um, knows a greg? :dead:

edit: I just noticed she said he works on "offshore platforms," which would make a morsel of sense at http://kamtechconstruction.com/Default.htm. It's based in GA, which is reasonably close to FL. Of course, all this isn't really exempt from being a complete lie; anyone can name a company and say they own it. but if he was remotely smart, the lies would add up at least for a while. i'd just chip away at his claims via research, if it's really important to her. if they begin to disintegrate, so will her interest, we can hope.
no-he claims his name is Jim (last name edited)

[nickel]

i'm thinking he works for Vandelay Industries :shifty:

[cheapie]

bwahahahaha...He's Art Vandelay. World famous architect.
Currently working on an addition to the Guggenheim

[attgig]

obbs, you're doing a good job. if your friend has a nack for falling in love prematurely, i think as a friend, it's your responsibility to be the total opposite, and do everything you can to prove that the dude's messed up. (vice versa also applies). it's a friend's job to help them see the whole picture, especially when emotions can cloud the view.


as for these fishy sounding companies, and his tendencies to call in odd hours, can she "surprise" him with a call, say....right around dinner time? or around some time during the day that would be considered family time? take his reaction from her calling him during then to draw some conclusions.
also, perhaps suggest webcamming? ask him to show her the whole room/place via camera just cuz she wants to see where he lives and what not. you should be able to figure stuff out.




also, if he's commuting that much, is he calling her while he commutes? i think it would make sense that he would want to fill up an hour of driving talking to his "honey"

[oblongmelon]

obbs, you're doing a good job. if your friend has a nack for falling in love prematurely, i think as a friend, it's your responsibility to be the total opposite, and do everything you can to prove that the dude's messed up. (vice versa also applies). it's a friend's job to help them see the whole picture, especially when emotions can cloud the view.


as for these fishy sounding companies, and his tendencies to call in odd hours, can she "surprise" him with a call, say....right around dinner time? or around some time during the day that would be considered family time? take his reaction from her calling him during then to draw some conclusions.
also, perhaps suggest webcamming? ask him to show her the whole room/place via camera just cuz she wants to see where he lives and what not. you should be able to figure stuff out.




also, if he's commuting that much, is he calling her while he commutes? i think it would make sense that he would want to fill up an hour of driving talking to his "honey"ok he's not talking to her on the phone-thats the problem..he only talks to her online. As far as I know they have not talked on the phone. Apparently she asked him why he doesnt want to give out too much info and he said he's leary of his xwife trying to get money from him..?????? ..ok..like that has to do with her-since he found HER in a chatroom she didnt go looking for him.

hahaha that ART Vandalay reference was great! thanks nickel you gave me the first laugh of the day..lol

[johnnymk]

Isn't your girlfriend still married? And he doesn't have a problem with that?

[oblongmelon]

Isn't your girlfriend still married? And he doesn't have a problem with that?
well if you want to call it married..lets put it this way..they haven't slept in the same bed in over 13 years..they rarely speak to each other and she already told him THREE TIMES now that she wants him out-but he wont leave..he cant get it through his head that she isnt happy..
..doesn't "who" have a problem with what?

[johnnymk]

well if you want to call it married..lets put it this way..they haven't slept in the same bed in over 13 years..they rarely speak to each other and she already told him THREE TIMES now that she wants him out-but he wont leave..he cant get it through his head that she isnt happy..
..doesn't "who" have a problem with what?

Technically she's married; legally she's married. Then why hasn't she filed for divorce?

[oblongmelon]

for one thing-it costs money-money that she doesnt have because he has them in such financial ruin it will take her forever to get out from under it-she cant get a loan, no family to speak of that will let her borrow $$$..and he has threatened to take everything they have-house/car etc...I guess you get to a certain point where you just say f#ckit and literally forget that part of your life..he does his own thing-she does hers..it's been like that for years. I guess you have to be in that situation to understand it. She's told him a few times that she wants him out-but actually getting him out and still be able to survive without his paycheck is another story.

[johnnymk]

Then she is going to need a real Prince Charming to rescue her from her dilemma. I am not sure how many single guys are out there who would get involved with this kind of relationship.

I am sure that a lot of guys would prey on her vulnerability just to have a sexual fling, but for them to get serious..all I can say is "Good Luck".

BTW, I dated a woman for five years who when I met her was living with a guy "out of convenience". It took a year for the guy to move out. Everybody I knew thought I was nuts. I eventually got engaged to her after she pressured me. However, things fell apart about a year after we got engaged. It's a long story.

I guarantee I will never date someone who is living with someone or is married.