So this bear....

[cheapie]

So this bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a pint of ............................................................................Stella please"

The bartender says, "why the big pause?"

The bear shrugs, looks at his hands and says "I was born with them"

[nickel]

:laugh:

STELLAAAAAAA!

[cheapie]

STELLLAAA!!

http://www.littleboyinc.com/uploader/uploads/images.jpg

[johnnymk]

So this mushroom walks into a bar with a big grin. The bartender asks "Why the happy face?"

"Oh, I am just a fun guy"

[Merlin]

Oh please let this thread die before Froggy finds it.

[DarkFury]

yes... those were VERY BAD!!!!! :hihi:

[bachviet]

Oh please let this thread die before Froggy finds it.
:stupid:

[GraingerGuy]

So this mushroom walks into a bar with a big grin. The bartender asks "Why the happy face?"

"Oh, I am just a fun guy"

That....was....hilarious!!!!

[ski]

So this bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a pint of ............................................................................Stella please"

The bartender says, "why the big pause?"

The bear shrugs, looks at his hands and says "I was born with them"
just as I was about to post "I don't get it", I figured it out.... why does God have to make the intelligent ones with no common sense :heh: :P

[ialsohaveadream]

So this horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?"

[Houdini]

So this horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?"

So this priest, mininister, rabbi, doctor, and lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

[ialsohaveadream]

A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve food here."

[ski]

Have you seen the tree's new car?

It's a two cedar.

[RoniMan]

a grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "HEY! we have a drink named after you here."

the grasshopper replied, "you have a drink name Steve?"

[DankNstickY]

So this priest, mininister, rabbi, doctor, and lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

heh some guy came in to my work last week and told that 'joke'. he then tells me he wants to mail something priority over night. so i get everything ready for him and he hands me a check to put in the envelope... for $1 million. thats when i asked 'what is this, some kind of joke?' he just said that he wishes it was. :( i should have kept the check

[Houdini]

heh some guy came in to my work last week and told that 'joke'. he then tells me he wants to mail something priority over night. so i get everything ready for him and he hands me a check to put in the envelope... for $1 million. thats when i asked 'what is this, some kind of joke?' he just said that he wishes it was. :( i should have kept the check

Heh

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!"

[DankNstickY]

my hands still burn... from holding it :P

[whitak24]

a string tries to go into a fancy restaurant. the maitre d' says, "sorry, we don't serve strings."

the string leaves, scuffs himself up a bit, and doubles over and ties himself. he returns to the bar, and the maitre d' says, "aren't you the string i just threw out of here a few minutes ago?"

"nope, sorry," says the string. "i'm a frayed knot."

[irwin]

Those first two bar jokes were new to me. I'm gonna add them to my arsenal. :)

[brain]

A snail goes in to a car dealership and tells the salesman that he wants a big S painted on every side of the car. The car salesman asks the snail why he wants that done. The snail replies, "When I drive around, I want people to say, 'Look at that S car go'"

[Burzhui]

great bear joke :)

[Paymaster]

Whats the difference between snowmen and snow-women?



Snowballs.

[WhiskeyPapa]

Two peanuts were walking down the street in a bad neighborhood. One was assaulted.

[Yossarian]

froggy will out bad joke you all

[Nija]

:heh:

It's kind of nice to have these lame jokes floated around every once in a while.

I only have one:
Who do you call when your walking down the street, and your toe falls off?

The toe truck :P

[sizemic1]

:heh:

Who do you call when your walking down the street, and your toe falls off?

The toe truck :P

OK Nija...that's so bad, I have to believe that was one of those popsicle stick jokes. :P

[Nija]

OK Nija...that's so bad, I have to believe that was one of those popsicle stick jokes. :P
:lmfao:

I actually made it up when I was 6 (I even remember where and what I was doing, I was in Seattle, and my mom and my 'aunt' jan were all cracking jokes, on our way to the Space Needle [where I rode a ride and got sick all over the entrance :heh: ])

[cheapie]

so this pirate walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a perch with a red string tied on his left leg and a green string on his right leg. the pirate asks the shopkeeper, "aaarghhh, what be the meanin' of the strings on the birds legs?" the shopkeeper says, "if you pull on the green string, the parrot will speak french, and if you pull on the red string, he'll speak in english." the pirate replied, "arrrghh, what will happen if you pull both strings?"

the parrot replied, "i'll fall off the perch you dumbass!"

[johnnymk]

Two very hungry bums are walking out in the country when they spot a dead buzzard infested with maggots.

One of the bums says "I don't know about you but I am starved and if you want to join me, I am eating this"

The other bum says "Yeccch, you have got to be kidding me..As hungry as I am. I would NEVER touch that."

So the bum gobbles down the whole bird, maggots and all.

A few minutes later, he turns green and then throws up.

The other bum howls "Aha..A warm meal at last !!"

[bachviet]

The last heapie's and johnnymk's are pretty funny.

[RoniMan]

mama skunk has two kids, IN, and OUT. she lets them play outside everyday for 30 mins. one day, OUT came home within 30 mins, but IN didn't come back at all. after 45 mins, she went out and found IN right away to drag him home.

how was mama skunk so quick at finding her son?

b/c IN-stinks!

:heh: